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[alacerus]

Reading all of these application details, they always say "If your outgoing, passionate and enthusiastic then we'd like to hear from you", why can't some of them include "if your reticent, saturnine and just a touch on the insane side we'd love to hear from you" every once in a while, I might be in with a chance.....

Comments

[andygates]

The trick is to lie.

Works every time.

Here, you're a tree person. I have a tree to fell - just a little one. The lower chop is on the side that you want it to fall, yes?

[alacerus]

Yep, the direction you want the tree to go in is dictated by the wedge you take out using a horizontal cut and then a 45 degree cut. The back cut goes in about two fingers width above the front cut creating a hinge which controls the fall of the tree. Many of our most interesting tree felling experiences have been when said person doing the cutting cuts through the the Hinge and the the tree is spinning on the spot, everyones dropped their saws and is legging it as fast as possible away from the tree hoping it's not going to come crashing down on his/her head. The best of the best though was Andy, he tried to force a fifty foot rotten oak against the way it leaning. Me and Nev were standing back watching through clenched teeth as he forced this thing backwards with a felling bar. As it was rotten, the hinge didn't hold and it came down about 45 degrees off its target, went through a fence and some ones green house. Needless to say me and Nev were wetting ourselves.....

[andygates]

Classic.

You'll be pleased to hear that this tree went down very well-behaved. The hinge was a bit thick so I leaped into it and carried it down like a very big koala. I don't think that's in the manual.

Digging out the stump was entertaining. Then they came up with six leylandii to topple as well, and the whole lot got sectioned up into firewood for autumn... it's bloody physical work, isn't it?

Star Wars people need to play with chainsaws to understand just how scary a lightsaber should be. >:)

[alacerus]

Man, we used to say how much easier it would be to chop down trees with lightsabers, so much lighter, it'd be a doddle!