anonymous

Mar 23, 2003 18:15


spam/anon post

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Comments 187

anonymous March 23 2009, 23:32:13 UTC
i'm so scared that i've lost him forever. if there was a specific reason as to us falling apart it would be so much easier to deal with. if i'd done something wrong and i knew about it i could at least blame myself and try to move on. as it is, he just seems to have totally replaced me after a year or so of closecloseclose friendship, after a summer spent smoking the days away on sunny parks, after months of being "best" friends. i don't know why i miss him when i've made it perfectly clear to him that i think we're drifting and he just didn't care.

but then i think of how lucky i am and how much i complain. i have food, a family, a roof over my head. i have my sight and my hearing, i can walk on two legs, i have some (if not many) friends. i have online friends who mean the world to me. i'm not disgusting looking - sure, i'm not pretty, but i'm not grotesque - and i have big boobs and i'm not a virgin. my life is not terrible. i am not living in hell. but all i do is drag myself along and complain and feel like i'm not worth ( ... )

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alackkofcolour March 24 2009, 20:59:32 UTC
all right.
first --you did not waste my time. i want to thank you for coming to me of all people and for telling me so much of what's going on.
second -- you didn't come off as annoying, and if you have anything else on your mind (which i'm sure you do), feel absolutely free to let it out here. know that i'm always going to listen<3

it's scary. when you get that close with someone, you sort of forget that they're just another person (and so are you), and that, just like any other friendship, things can get messy and heavy and things can fall apart. and it's hard, when the other person doesn't put in any effort, and you're left dragging all the weight. the thing is, you can't keep faking a friendship for very long. eventually, you have to let go. and sometimes, that's when it's best. when you let go, when you say to him, "hey, i'm not doing this on my own anymore," and he sees that, and he needs you, that's when it's best. because if he needs you, which i'm pretty positive he does, he'll come back for you. he might not apologize, but ( ... )

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anonymous March 31 2009, 22:31:44 UTC
thank you so much.

i really appreciate it, honey. you've honestly helped me so much.

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anonymous March 23 2009, 23:33:24 UTC
I have a loving, gorgeous fiance, yet i'm head over heels in love with a guy on lj.

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alackkofcolour March 24 2009, 20:40:38 UTC
hopefully it's just a phase with this boy on lj, but if it isn't, you know it isn't honest to your fiance

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anonymous March 23 2009, 23:39:09 UTC
a dilemma and a somewhat love triangle. it includes two guys that i've known since i was 10 but they're not very fond of each other. let's call them M and C. M is the one i've had a thing for since the time i was 10. he's 4 years older than i am and we've dated a few times on an off. we're currently dating and we've been together for 2 1/2 years. i love him to death but lately, and i mean for the last year of our relationship, he's been blowing me off a bit; treating me like a convenience and taking me for granted. C is 5 years older than i am and easily my best guy friend. he knows more personal stuff about me than my boyfriend does and for the last year and a half he's been in love with me. i slipped to him and my best friend (also my godsister who used to date C. she's 2 1/2 years older than i am) that i may break up with him. he wanted to break the news to M and i didn't tell C to do it but i didn't stop him either. M was pissed and we broke up for 4 days because i ended up asking for him back. interesting thing is, C will stay up ( ... )

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alackkofcolour March 24 2009, 20:39:26 UTC
i don't think you should necessarily break up with M. if you two have known each other since you were little, and you're madly in love with him, it has to mean something, right? i say, try talking things through with him. try planning things and if he continues to blow you off, you know something's up. considering you're dated a few times on and off, he might know that you'll come back to him if he ever wants you --which is a bad thing, because not only does he somewhat control you, but you're giving all of your devotion to one boy. if things don't work out with M, take some time to recover. don't immediately jump to C, because it sounds like you two are extremely close, and if you ruin that, you'll have lost twice. be careful, babygirl<3

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anonymous March 24 2009, 00:32:53 UTC
it might give me away saying this, but:
i now have two citations. as in, ive been in trouble with the police twice. i just don't care anymore. im smart enough to know what i was doing is wrong, but i don't even feel guilty about it. i don't feel like i'll ever grow up to be ANYTHING despite how much i want something, and i have no motivation to do anything good for myself anymore.

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alackkofcolour March 24 2009, 20:35:10 UTC
i don't mean to sound like your mom or anything, but it could be that right now something's going on with you, and instead of sitting down and saying, "hi, here are all my scars," you're taking it out in other ways. i'm not going to tell you what to do, but please be careful, okay? i know you have a lot going for you and you have so much potential to do great.<3

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anonymous March 24 2009, 01:06:47 UTC
i've missed you.

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