Home update!
And other things I suppose.
First a bit of a rant on socio economics and how upset I am over it.
I recently redid my budget, especially knowing what I got for overtime pay. It's actually come to a bit of "oh now I have not just the basic needs met, but also what I thought of as basic wants". Which honestly even before I was struggling getting the basic needs which I'm actually sure doesn't come as a surprise. But the basic needs was having work that paid for food and housing, but also meant I wasn't pushing my physical boundaries past what I could handle; it also needed to encompass medical care -- I couldn't get that before because I couldn't afford food some weeks never mind copays. (Plus there was the risk that I would end up with a doctor who would say I just needed to loose weight so what was the point of paying for an appointment that would leave me disappointed? To say nothing of the fact of needing gas money to get to said appointment and etc.)
And the basic wants were being able to support more artists on patreon, getting a cup of tea from a locally owned cafe, treating myself to books, knowing I could build up savings. I can take my cat to the vet and get him his care.
And I have that now in a job that I feel secure in -- that is, that I am not likely to be fired. I feel seen and appreciated. My work is noted. I have a much greater chance at a yearly pay raise which will help with the possibility that my rent could increase.
I am just. Having lots of negative emotions that my basic needs couldn't be met let alone that a few things that would make life worth living were out of my reach. I liked being a barista! I really really did. Did I like management or all of my coworkers? No, but I liked making people's drinks and liked knowing that it did make a little slice of their day better. And yet working full time, it wasn't enough. I don't even know if it would've been enough if I did have a room mate paying their share of bills because the one thing I know for certainty is the lower you are in society the less your health insurance will cover so what I pay now for my health care would've been worse in my old job. It's just very upsetting.
And it isn't that I hate where I am now. I love my job! I love being an admin and making sure that the office is running well from the admin side. It's just that my old job should have been enough and I hate that there are so many people still in that same situation.
Anyway.
So yes. I redid my budget and actually accounted for subscriptions and treats like chai lattes once in a while, books, fancy teas. It'll eat into my planned savings a bit, but I think it will help me to have greater control over my budget, knowing that I have "incidentals" money set aside. I also figured out which paychecks will need to cover cat expenses and made sure I accounted for things like car oil. Like everyone else I am very much over inflation. But it's a nice budget. It will definitely be better for me.
It will help that next month I will be done paying my grandma back. After that I should have money for a binder and some more button down shirts, exciting. And also I'll start having savings set aside.
I stopped off at the library this past week since the ILL books came in and I picked up three others while there. I figured I had a long weekend coming up -- I have to be prepared, lol. I also have Tuesday morning off for my cat's vet appointment.
I keep having these moments of content -- I finally have a job that gives me a decent time off rate so I can take a half day to take care of my cat or to take two days because I have a pain flare up or just because. I don't feel like I'm running on the fumes of fumes. My bosses always have my back. The library is on my way home so not only do I never have to worry about running out of books to read, but I have time and energy to enjoy them. My time off is my own; I get to go for hikes as I like. I have time and energy to practice my yoga in the morning and an hour for lunch so I can go for walks. A local book shop near work and a wonderful cafe that does lovely chai lattes. I'm no longer food insecure. I get to support artists and my faith community. I have my medical team and the medicine to help myself get through the day. I'm finally getting myself past surviving and heading toward thriving. It's very nice and humbling and wonderful.
I've said often to other people that if I hadn't made the leap I did I wouldn't have made it to 35. My options for full time work were next to nothing; I could've found another job possibly, but as much as I hated my job environment, at least I was in a department that management didn't bother with much and I was usually so busy I didn't have time to think of how awful it was through most of my shift. But it still wasn't enough to pay for me to be alive and it was making my chronic conditions worse, including edging me from suicidal ideation to full on suicidal. And if it wasn't my job getting in the way of my own self care then it was my family. I was drowning being the full time support for my sibling which was also hurting sibling in a way.
Now I get up and take my time in the morning which hurts me less; I can drop off books to the library on my way to work and maybe pick up a latte if I feel like I want one or the day may need it. There is time enough in my day to get all my work tasks done; I don't think about work outside work. Maybe I clock in for just the afternoon because my cat had an appointment. Saturdays is quiet reflection, wandering the woods as I like. This week I have a meeting as a member of the synagogue. I have my medicine to help me keep my anxiety and depression and pain in check. Medicine that will actually help me when the pain flares up. And when I look in the mirror I am there. Slowly edging from surviving to thriving.
And then the rest of it.
I had enough to get my futon, but not from the place that would deliver and set up. I was faced with a choice: either I could continue saving up money for that or buy something from Walmart. And I was tired of having just a camp chair in the living room. Not comfortable truly for long weekends reading books. Frustrating fighting with my cat who just wanted to sit with me, but I needed space. So I was like. Fuck it. I can figure out how to get it up the stairs, right? I can do this. I ordered a wonderful blue futon. I also had enough that I was able to get a storage rack for the kitchen. Which again was a choice: go for a cheaper plain metal unit or a fancier one. And honestly again I am tired of the cheaper option. I've lived with it for my whole life and I had worked hard and had a bit of help so I got the fancier one. It was only about $25 more anyway.
The shelving unit got here faster. Much heavier than I expected and the corners of the box were a bit dinged so I ended up rolling it up the stairs. And the weight meant that I ended up setting it up the next night, especially since it arrived at my bedtime (I went down to get it because I didn't want it sitting out all night, but also then the next day if I wanted to avoid getting in late to work). The next day I set it up and it is exactly what I wanted. It's rustic looking and is definitely the size I needed. I finally unboxed all the kitchen items, yay! I was also able to have both the toaster oven and microwave on the middle shelf so I now have more counter space to work with for cooking and baking. I am so thrilled.
My next items for the kitchen -- want wants not just like I should get it or throw stuff out -- is a art nouveau unit (I found it on Amazon) for the tea and tea cups. Not that what I haven't isn't working, but the tea cups are on what is basically a shoe rack and the tea is on a wheeled wire rack that is bent out of shape and should've been recycled years ago. The unit I have my eye one should fit both tea and tea cups. There's also a three piece dining set that I want to get. It'll make for a cramped kitchen, but I love eating at an actual table so. I should be able to make it work well enough if I put the tea unit at an angle in one of the kitchen corners.
My futon arrived after much dithering with shipping on Friday afternoon. I was worried it would get rained on as we were expecting a storm, but the storm held off. And one of my neighbors came to the rescue and helped me get it upstairs. Well, more like he did the work as he went faster than I could manage. Bah. Lucky me though. It was really easy to put together though; just a few screws. The seat/bed itself is one unit. It's a winch set up to turn it from seat to bed. Kind of hard, but it works. I'm gonna need to get one of those sit up pillows, but otherwise I love it. Right now I've got it up against the heater as I'm not using it so I can stretch my legs out across it and still have my back supported. The cat loves it, being able to sit with me during the day when I'm home.
And I love that it arrived in time for the long weekend! I have six books, the weather outlook is lovely, and a futon to stretch out on. I may even do some baking tomorrow now I have space enough on the counter; I hated feeling cramped.
We're having a shift around at work -- two of the medical assistants are leaving for jobs better for their schedules with their kids. One of my team, the admins, has had enough experience in past jobs that she's shifting from admin to medical assistant. She starts next week. And in a few weeks, one of the other admins is starting her medical assistant training to replace the other. The admin jobs have already been posted so we'll see what happens. I've been trying to get a friend of mine to look at moving up here because I know she'll be a good fit, but I don't think she's in a position to move now; maybe she would have in August which is what the original plan was for the admin job, but not now. I know other offices have struggled to have enough admins (which boggles my mind because like this is a job that doesn't require degrees, pay starts at $15 an hour, and has good benefits that start right away for most of them) so we'll see what happens.
Otherwise things are good. For everything. Knock on wood.
I have photos of the kitchen and the futon if anyone wants to see.
First a bit of a rant on socio economics and how upset I am over it.
I recently redid my budget, especially knowing what I got for overtime pay. It's actually come to a bit of "oh now I have not just the basic needs met, but also what I thought of as basic wants". Which honestly even before I was struggling getting the basic needs which I'm actually sure doesn't come as a surprise. But the basic needs was having work that paid for food and housing, but also meant I wasn't pushing my physical boundaries past what I could handle; it also needed to encompass medical care -- I couldn't get that before because I couldn't afford food some weeks never mind copays. (Plus there was the risk that I would end up with a doctor who would say I just needed to loose weight so what was the point of paying for an appointment that would leave me disappointed? To say nothing of the fact of needing gas money to get to said appointment and etc.)
And the basic wants were being able to support more artists on patreon, getting a cup of tea from a locally owned cafe, treating myself to books, knowing I could build up savings. I can take my cat to the vet and get him his care.
And I have that now in a job that I feel secure in -- that is, that I am not likely to be fired. I feel seen and appreciated. My work is noted. I have a much greater chance at a yearly pay raise which will help with the possibility that my rent could increase.
I am just. Having lots of negative emotions that my basic needs couldn't be met let alone that a few things that would make life worth living were out of my reach. I liked being a barista! I really really did. Did I like management or all of my coworkers? No, but I liked making people's drinks and liked knowing that it did make a little slice of their day better. And yet working full time, it wasn't enough. I don't even know if it would've been enough if I did have a room mate paying their share of bills because the one thing I know for certainty is the lower you are in society the less your health insurance will cover so what I pay now for my health care would've been worse in my old job. It's just very upsetting.
And it isn't that I hate where I am now. I love my job! I love being an admin and making sure that the office is running well from the admin side. It's just that my old job should have been enough and I hate that there are so many people still in that same situation.
Anyway.
So yes. I redid my budget and actually accounted for subscriptions and treats like chai lattes once in a while, books, fancy teas. It'll eat into my planned savings a bit, but I think it will help me to have greater control over my budget, knowing that I have "incidentals" money set aside. I also figured out which paychecks will need to cover cat expenses and made sure I accounted for things like car oil. Like everyone else I am very much over inflation. But it's a nice budget. It will definitely be better for me.
It will help that next month I will be done paying my grandma back. After that I should have money for a binder and some more button down shirts, exciting. And also I'll start having savings set aside.
I stopped off at the library this past week since the ILL books came in and I picked up three others while there. I figured I had a long weekend coming up -- I have to be prepared, lol. I also have Tuesday morning off for my cat's vet appointment.
I keep having these moments of content -- I finally have a job that gives me a decent time off rate so I can take a half day to take care of my cat or to take two days because I have a pain flare up or just because. I don't feel like I'm running on the fumes of fumes. My bosses always have my back. The library is on my way home so not only do I never have to worry about running out of books to read, but I have time and energy to enjoy them. My time off is my own; I get to go for hikes as I like. I have time and energy to practice my yoga in the morning and an hour for lunch so I can go for walks. A local book shop near work and a wonderful cafe that does lovely chai lattes. I'm no longer food insecure. I get to support artists and my faith community. I have my medical team and the medicine to help myself get through the day. I'm finally getting myself past surviving and heading toward thriving. It's very nice and humbling and wonderful.
I've said often to other people that if I hadn't made the leap I did I wouldn't have made it to 35. My options for full time work were next to nothing; I could've found another job possibly, but as much as I hated my job environment, at least I was in a department that management didn't bother with much and I was usually so busy I didn't have time to think of how awful it was through most of my shift. But it still wasn't enough to pay for me to be alive and it was making my chronic conditions worse, including edging me from suicidal ideation to full on suicidal. And if it wasn't my job getting in the way of my own self care then it was my family. I was drowning being the full time support for my sibling which was also hurting sibling in a way.
Now I get up and take my time in the morning which hurts me less; I can drop off books to the library on my way to work and maybe pick up a latte if I feel like I want one or the day may need it. There is time enough in my day to get all my work tasks done; I don't think about work outside work. Maybe I clock in for just the afternoon because my cat had an appointment. Saturdays is quiet reflection, wandering the woods as I like. This week I have a meeting as a member of the synagogue. I have my medicine to help me keep my anxiety and depression and pain in check. Medicine that will actually help me when the pain flares up. And when I look in the mirror I am there. Slowly edging from surviving to thriving.
And then the rest of it.
I had enough to get my futon, but not from the place that would deliver and set up. I was faced with a choice: either I could continue saving up money for that or buy something from Walmart. And I was tired of having just a camp chair in the living room. Not comfortable truly for long weekends reading books. Frustrating fighting with my cat who just wanted to sit with me, but I needed space. So I was like. Fuck it. I can figure out how to get it up the stairs, right? I can do this. I ordered a wonderful blue futon. I also had enough that I was able to get a storage rack for the kitchen. Which again was a choice: go for a cheaper plain metal unit or a fancier one. And honestly again I am tired of the cheaper option. I've lived with it for my whole life and I had worked hard and had a bit of help so I got the fancier one. It was only about $25 more anyway.
The shelving unit got here faster. Much heavier than I expected and the corners of the box were a bit dinged so I ended up rolling it up the stairs. And the weight meant that I ended up setting it up the next night, especially since it arrived at my bedtime (I went down to get it because I didn't want it sitting out all night, but also then the next day if I wanted to avoid getting in late to work). The next day I set it up and it is exactly what I wanted. It's rustic looking and is definitely the size I needed. I finally unboxed all the kitchen items, yay! I was also able to have both the toaster oven and microwave on the middle shelf so I now have more counter space to work with for cooking and baking. I am so thrilled.
My next items for the kitchen -- want wants not just like I should get it or throw stuff out -- is a art nouveau unit (I found it on Amazon) for the tea and tea cups. Not that what I haven't isn't working, but the tea cups are on what is basically a shoe rack and the tea is on a wheeled wire rack that is bent out of shape and should've been recycled years ago. The unit I have my eye one should fit both tea and tea cups. There's also a three piece dining set that I want to get. It'll make for a cramped kitchen, but I love eating at an actual table so. I should be able to make it work well enough if I put the tea unit at an angle in one of the kitchen corners.
My futon arrived after much dithering with shipping on Friday afternoon. I was worried it would get rained on as we were expecting a storm, but the storm held off. And one of my neighbors came to the rescue and helped me get it upstairs. Well, more like he did the work as he went faster than I could manage. Bah. Lucky me though. It was really easy to put together though; just a few screws. The seat/bed itself is one unit. It's a winch set up to turn it from seat to bed. Kind of hard, but it works. I'm gonna need to get one of those sit up pillows, but otherwise I love it. Right now I've got it up against the heater as I'm not using it so I can stretch my legs out across it and still have my back supported. The cat loves it, being able to sit with me during the day when I'm home.
And I love that it arrived in time for the long weekend! I have six books, the weather outlook is lovely, and a futon to stretch out on. I may even do some baking tomorrow now I have space enough on the counter; I hated feeling cramped.
We're having a shift around at work -- two of the medical assistants are leaving for jobs better for their schedules with their kids. One of my team, the admins, has had enough experience in past jobs that she's shifting from admin to medical assistant. She starts next week. And in a few weeks, one of the other admins is starting her medical assistant training to replace the other. The admin jobs have already been posted so we'll see what happens. I've been trying to get a friend of mine to look at moving up here because I know she'll be a good fit, but I don't think she's in a position to move now; maybe she would have in August which is what the original plan was for the admin job, but not now. I know other offices have struggled to have enough admins (which boggles my mind because like this is a job that doesn't require degrees, pay starts at $15 an hour, and has good benefits that start right away for most of them) so we'll see what happens.
Otherwise things are good. For everything. Knock on wood.
I have photos of the kitchen and the futon if anyone wants to see.