My Fscked Up Life

[alakuriel]

Ok, update on my mess of a life. Back in August, Ruth (my step-mother) tried to have my dad committed to the psych ward against his will (he was escorted out of the house by the police and everything) because she was mad at him. She, of course, wasn't here when it all went down, but I was (and even got questioned by the police); I had no idea what

Comments

[skorpy]

Ugh. Is there anyone locally you could crash with until you can convince your father to leave her? Relationship inertia blinds you to a lot of crazy until people point it out.

I'd offer space, but ocean.

[alakuriel]

Thanks Skorp - the offer means a lot, even with the ocean in the way. Sadly, none of my friends here have offered so far. I know my brother Mark probably would, but he doesn't live in London either.

[skorpy]

You could maybe try women's shelters, or places like the salvation army, should it become an urgent thing? I'm sure they'd be able to help, or at least point you somewhere that could.

[celiskywalker]

I'm so sorry! If you were in the U.S. I'd see if the husband would let you stay with us for a while. No one should ever feel like that. If you need someone to talk to, let me know. My family situation is/was screwed up in a very different way, but it still helps to have someone to talk to.

Do you think that talking to a psychologist with your father would help? (it sounds like crazy step-mom is beyond that) That's what I ended up doing with my mother.

[celiskywalker]

Where do you live these days? UK?

[alakuriel]

Thanks - that really means a lot. *hugs* I've got a doctor's appointment later this week, and I think I'm at least going to ask for a referral to a psychologist for myself (I definitely need someone to talk to about all this stuff, and my anxiety is getting so bad it's hard to deal with anything); I hadn't thought to look into going *with* my dad, but it might be a good idea if I can think of a way to propose the idea to him without him thinking I'm suggesting there's something wrong with him (he can be very sensitive about things like that). I may take you up on the offer to talk at some point though, if you really wouldn't mind - none of my friends here have ever had to deal with serious family problems, and they just don't understand.

I'm back in Canada these days, after my move to the States didn't work out (I couldn't find a job).

[instigator_ash]

I think there's two good ways to broach it.

1. I'm seeing a psychologist. It would help if you were there so that you know what I'm trying to work through and can help with it. This makes it possible to believe that the therapy isn't really for him.

2. I see that X is giving you a lot of trouble. The psychologist I'm seeing is making it easier for me to deal with X. Maybe he can give you some good advice too. This makes it possible to believe that there is a problem, but it's external to him.

Also the psychologist may have some good ideas about how to get him interested/receptive. Unfortunately, this is the problem most people have with psychotherapy: "Oh noes! You think something is wrong with me!"