Some of them have ears on their knees.

[alasatyr]

So I stopped by Pizza Hut on the way to work. (Okay, I'm not proud of it, but I was hungry and Hell was closed.) Ate half for dinner, saved half for later. Left the half-full pizza box in the car, which in hindsight may have been a mistake

Comments

[debxena]

What do those bastards know about my dinner that I don't?

You had to ask? Seriously - stick to Hell, hon!

[alasatyr]

I do try. But I figure mediocre pizza is better than no pizza.

[chelseabun]

Maybe they saw you coming and were backing away, all innocent-like.

[alasatyr]

"All right you ants down there! Step away from the pizza! Feet where I can see 'em, an' no sudden movements!"
"Sheriff, one o' them thar ants is lookin' suspicious."
"Squyish 'im, son!"
"Aaargh! police brutality! We'll tell Oprah!"
"Shut up you six-legged freak! and get away from that pizza!"

[smellykaka]

Why is Hell so highly rated? Their pizzas are no better than anywhere else, and they are utterly incapable of getting an order correct (I've ordered from there about ten times and I've NEVER had them get it right).

[darthsappho]

Maybe you're unlucky with your branch... I've never had trouble with them. And they have a _choice_ of vegetarian pizzas! They all taste nicer than Pizza Hutt or Dominos, too, though I occasionally choose PH for a change and because it's cheaper. A pity Hell don't do pizza with Baileys any more, though.

I've never had a problem with an order, so I can't speak to that, but

[doc_spatial]

They make pizzas that few other place do
They recognise that there are non-carnivorous people out there, and that those people are probably sick of garlic bread & wedges
They do salady goodness
There are few opportunities to ask a woman you don't know for a Double Lust without getting pepper sprayed
Their menu stops just short of Reindeer Goat Cheese Pizza

Re: I've never had a problem with an order, so I can't speak to that, but

[smellykaka]

I acknowledge the variety, and love the boxes and the website. It's just that I can't find a pizza they make that tastes better than one I can get somewhere else. It's not even that easy to find one that tastes AS GOOD as the competition.

[zcatcurious]

I was hungry and Hell was closed.

Things to do when I become Pope: #441 - canonise the person who chose that name for a pizza chain, just because of all of the wonderful expressions which it creates.

[alasatyr]

Hmm, do I actually want to know what the other 440 are?

Tell you what, when you become pope can I be a cardinal? I look good in red, and you'll need some good yes-men. I wanna be a cardinal!

[zcatcurious]

Most of the other 440 are canonisations, too. There is a long, long list of long-unrecognised people, such as the person who invented the high-heeled boot.

You certainly could be a cardinal, but what would you like to be cardinal of? They all have positions, whether geographical or bureaucratic. As such, you could be the Archbishop of New Zealand, in which case you would actually wear archepiscopal purple, or you could be something like President of the Secretariat for Non-Believers.

[darthsappho]

Personally I think whoever invented high heels should be raised from the dead just so they can be executed for it. Actually, no, that's not quite true... it's not high heels themselves I object to, it's the society that makes them the expected mainstream style for women's shoes. I wouldn't mind if they were treated as fetishware.

[alasatyr]

Possible, but I abandoned that theory on the grounds that I couldn't spell coeliac.