(no subject)
Well. I ran free in chat today. And encountered... my daughter and ex wife.
That was traumatizing.
Still on the sea. Attempting to get back to shore so I can go biblical on some little wraith that touched my daughter.
Entire conversation within. Actually works as a good lesson of the story of Aldarion and Erendis:
Aldarion: *reads posts* I'm feeling something entirely unique towards my daughter, suddenly. ...i think it's pride
Aldarion: Sheep!
Ancalime: Hahahaha
Erendis: *sniffs* Well, that's a start at least.
Ancalime: Thank you daddy.... you disowning nasty man you.
Erendis: *to Aldarion* And remember what I always told you? No Fucking Anything With Fur.
Aldarion: You were doing your best to destroy my ship and quite possibly me. Act of survival
Erendis: *smiles approvingly at Ancalimë* Aw, I love you!
Ancalime: Yay, mom!
Erendis: Sheep fucking is an act of survival? That's a nice way of putting it, I guess.
Ancalime: Daddy: I was destorying the one thing that made my childhood so terrible. You just happened to be standing on the deck at the time.
Aldarion: Erendis: Disowning Ancalime was the act of survival
Ancalime: Mother: I set fire to his ship's sails.
Aldarion: Bah. My ship had nothing to do with your childhood. Your mother was just nuts
Erendis: The question is whether you enjoyed it more than you enjoyed fucking the sheep.
Aldarion: At least I didn't have to worry about the sheep stopping mid-coitus to scream at me for leaving her for Uinen.
Ancalime: You were never home! I became the country's ruler for awhile, because you were off traipsing the sea.
Erendis: They're lucky they didn't know. Otherwise they would've bitten it right off. Sheep have very strong teeth, you know.
Aldarion: Your mother said she'd shoot me if I ever came back... that and I was saving our country from SAURON
Aldarion: I get no respect -.-
Ancalime: Right, right. *huffs* I'm so sure. Denethor was saving his kingdom from his throne
Erendis: I'm too classy for guns. By the way.
Aldarion: No, Denethor was blinking nuts. There's a difference
Ancalime: Hmph. You weren't there for me or the kingdom Daddy.
Aldarion: I was in fear of your mother castrating me. That and the boys night out lasted a lot longer then I predicted
Ancalime: Daddy... you're why I have no respect for men.
Aldarion: And I can accept this
Erendis: You just found out that the smell of the sea salt made you horny.
Aldarion: Although I will blame your mother and her lying whore ways for it as well
Erendis: You fucked every sheep on our end of Númenor and you're calling me a whore...?
Aldarion: Numenor has no fucking sheep
Aldarion: All I know is I go for a few years, I come back, you're living in a 'house of women' and I nearly get my head shot off at the door
Ancalime: No. They're all saving themselves for marriage
Aldarion: I have my suspicions about that house of women thing, let me tell you
Ancalime: gjkdlfjslkfsjlDADDY! You left for years!
Aldarion: SAVING THE WORLD FROM SAURON, DAMNIT
Erendis: Look who's talking, Mr. I-am-so-damn-friendly-with-my-cabin-boys.
Aldarion: *small* and I got lost
Ancalime: And you didn't stop and ask for directions
Erendis: And, not to shatter your dreams or anything, but Sauron sort of wasn't defeated by you. Ahem.
Aldarion: who the hell do you ask for directions in the middle of the sea?
Aldarion: I know he wasn't
Aldarion: But I tried!
Aldarion: Which is more then you can say for our descendants
*long pause*
Aldarion: and obviously I get the last word on the matter. boo-yeah
Ancalime: Daddy, if I become a lesbian, I'm going to blame you.
Erendis: Well, I would have gone, and done a good job of it, if Númenor weren't so socially oppressive of women.
Aldarion: Damn. If you become a lesbian, dear, that means one less man I need to crucify for touching my daughter. I really need to get around to that
Aldarion: I will probably end up offing half of arda's population
Ancalime: start with Ringwraith ii. He took my kidney.
Erendis: Ancalimë: I am considering that direction myself. Women are by far the--he took your FUCKING WHAT?!
Aldarion: Fucker!
Ancalime: I'm using sporkninja as a kidney now. A MUN!!!
Aldarion: Where's my cross and nails...
Ancalime: He took it, and SOLD it.
Ancalime: Fucker.
Erendis: What's your preferred mode of castration, hon?
Ancalime: Grapefruit spoon.
Erendis: I'll do whatever you want to him.
Aldarion: Do I crucify him before or after you castrate him?
Ancalime: Before
Erendis: Hmm...which way do you think would hurt most?
Ancalime: Then he stays still for Mommy
Erendis: sounds good to me.
Aldarion: She always did have a problem catching them if they managed to get a headstart on her
Erendis: *ignores in spirit of doing all the best for her wonderful daughter*
Aldarion: *looks for hammer*
Ancalime: Yay!
Ancalime: Nothing brings a family together like murder and revenge.
Ah. Family bonds. Please god don't let my parents show up
That was traumatizing.
Still on the sea. Attempting to get back to shore so I can go biblical on some little wraith that touched my daughter.
Entire conversation within. Actually works as a good lesson of the story of Aldarion and Erendis:
Aldarion: *reads posts* I'm feeling something entirely unique towards my daughter, suddenly. ...i think it's pride
Aldarion: Sheep!
Ancalime: Hahahaha
Erendis: *sniffs* Well, that's a start at least.
Ancalime: Thank you daddy.... you disowning nasty man you.
Erendis: *to Aldarion* And remember what I always told you? No Fucking Anything With Fur.
Aldarion: You were doing your best to destroy my ship and quite possibly me. Act of survival
Erendis: *smiles approvingly at Ancalimë* Aw, I love you!
Ancalime: Yay, mom!
Erendis: Sheep fucking is an act of survival? That's a nice way of putting it, I guess.
Ancalime: Daddy: I was destorying the one thing that made my childhood so terrible. You just happened to be standing on the deck at the time.
Aldarion: Erendis: Disowning Ancalime was the act of survival
Ancalime: Mother: I set fire to his ship's sails.
Aldarion: Bah. My ship had nothing to do with your childhood. Your mother was just nuts
Erendis: The question is whether you enjoyed it more than you enjoyed fucking the sheep.
Aldarion: At least I didn't have to worry about the sheep stopping mid-coitus to scream at me for leaving her for Uinen.
Ancalime: You were never home! I became the country's ruler for awhile, because you were off traipsing the sea.
Erendis: They're lucky they didn't know. Otherwise they would've bitten it right off. Sheep have very strong teeth, you know.
Aldarion: Your mother said she'd shoot me if I ever came back... that and I was saving our country from SAURON
Aldarion: I get no respect -.-
Ancalime: Right, right. *huffs* I'm so sure. Denethor was saving his kingdom from his throne
Erendis: I'm too classy for guns. By the way.
Aldarion: No, Denethor was blinking nuts. There's a difference
Ancalime: Hmph. You weren't there for me or the kingdom Daddy.
Aldarion: I was in fear of your mother castrating me. That and the boys night out lasted a lot longer then I predicted
Ancalime: Daddy... you're why I have no respect for men.
Aldarion: And I can accept this
Erendis: You just found out that the smell of the sea salt made you horny.
Aldarion: Although I will blame your mother and her lying whore ways for it as well
Erendis: You fucked every sheep on our end of Númenor and you're calling me a whore...?
Aldarion: Numenor has no fucking sheep
Aldarion: All I know is I go for a few years, I come back, you're living in a 'house of women' and I nearly get my head shot off at the door
Ancalime: No. They're all saving themselves for marriage
Aldarion: I have my suspicions about that house of women thing, let me tell you
Ancalime: gjkdlfjslkfsjlDADDY! You left for years!
Aldarion: SAVING THE WORLD FROM SAURON, DAMNIT
Erendis: Look who's talking, Mr. I-am-so-damn-friendly-with-my-cabin-boys.
Aldarion: *small* and I got lost
Ancalime: And you didn't stop and ask for directions
Erendis: And, not to shatter your dreams or anything, but Sauron sort of wasn't defeated by you. Ahem.
Aldarion: who the hell do you ask for directions in the middle of the sea?
Aldarion: I know he wasn't
Aldarion: But I tried!
Aldarion: Which is more then you can say for our descendants
*long pause*
Aldarion: and obviously I get the last word on the matter. boo-yeah
Ancalime: Daddy, if I become a lesbian, I'm going to blame you.
Erendis: Well, I would have gone, and done a good job of it, if Númenor weren't so socially oppressive of women.
Aldarion: Damn. If you become a lesbian, dear, that means one less man I need to crucify for touching my daughter. I really need to get around to that
Aldarion: I will probably end up offing half of arda's population
Ancalime: start with Ringwraith ii. He took my kidney.
Erendis: Ancalimë: I am considering that direction myself. Women are by far the--he took your FUCKING WHAT?!
Aldarion: Fucker!
Ancalime: I'm using sporkninja as a kidney now. A MUN!!!
Aldarion: Where's my cross and nails...
Ancalime: He took it, and SOLD it.
Ancalime: Fucker.
Erendis: What's your preferred mode of castration, hon?
Ancalime: Grapefruit spoon.
Erendis: I'll do whatever you want to him.
Aldarion: Do I crucify him before or after you castrate him?
Ancalime: Before
Erendis: Hmm...which way do you think would hurt most?
Ancalime: Then he stays still for Mommy
Erendis: sounds good to me.
Aldarion: She always did have a problem catching them if they managed to get a headstart on her
Erendis: *ignores in spirit of doing all the best for her wonderful daughter*
Aldarion: *looks for hammer*
Ancalime: Yay!
Ancalime: Nothing brings a family together like murder and revenge.
Ah. Family bonds. Please god don't let my parents show up