Boy Trouble (Still Continued)...
Looks like things shall finally come to end within the near future. Or so I hope. I've been optimistic about this exact thing several times before to come up empty-handed. *sigh* Hope for the best. That's all I can do...
Sensei did not take me in the least seriously about the sexual harassment. That comment was the only thing I ever told him about it, and the only time he ever asked (actually, I do think he asked one more time, and I gave him the same response, so same difference). I knew he wasn't taking me seriously, but so long as he continued to at least humor me, I was fine with it. He moved me, as I said before, next to Sam. And he humored me a couple more times
We were getting groups assigned for Invasion and on, and he was using the day of the month to decide. Just pointed randomly at people and they said either "tsuitachi", "futsuka", "mikka", or "yokka", this being their assigned group. Adam was "mikka", so I made sure to note in my paranoid way, despite my ignoring him in every aspect by all appearances (I didn't respond to anything he said, whenever he greeted me or waved, and stuck my nose in a book whenever he talked to me, but I paid very close attention to things of this sort; vital information). I'm sure you've figured out by now that I got "mikka". I was the last person to get assigned and the person before me had been "futsuka". I didn't even say "mikka". First thing outta my mouth was "Can I be in another group?" He humored me. Obviously wasn't taking my plea seriously, but humored me and put me in Sarah's group. Adam ended up with Isaac and some other guy, I forget who, and we did not interact, I pointedly not even looking at the guy (which's why I don't recall who the other guy was)
As for Sensei not taking me seriously. I suppose that is on me, a bit
Because I do not interact with people, I am absolutely horrible at portraying emotion. When I'm disgusted, I consciously make a disgusted expression. I must consciously subplant absolutely any emotion on my face; otherwise, I'm blank. That's prob'ly why a lot of people are scared of me, despite how irrational that seems to me, honestly. But who am I to talk? I'm the definition of irrational fears, being inflicted with multiple phobias and all. But, as I said. I must force myself to make an expression. And I'm not all that good at it. I actually practice certain expressions in the mirror, such as glee, gratitude, disgust, contriteness, and smiling, overall. Fear's not one I practice. Have I mentioned that I suck at expressing my emotions overall? Not just on my face. I've always had issues getting a point across. Despite my wide vocabulary, I've never been particularly articulate when speaking face-to-face. And the fact that I consider fear a weakness prob'ly hasn't helped my case, either. When I'm in pain, my face goes totally blank. When I want to cry-- blank. When I'm scared? It's the same. I pratice blankness a lot, too. But then I just go and kill my case even more. Pain is a weakness to me. So, when I'm in pain, I'll either go totally blank or, quite literally, laugh it off. I know that this's totally stupid and irrational. I mean, what could I possibly be getting out of this hiding such things? Nothing, really. Not entirely sure why I do it. Just that I do. So I laugh off pain. With fear? I feign confidence. When I said "I like to call it sexual harrassment", I'll admit my tone was pretty haughty. Not sure 'bout my expression, but I was pretty happy he was even asking, 'cause that meant he might be taking my case seriously. Back when he'd known absolutely nothing of what was occuring in the first place, that is. So I covered up my fear. And I covered it good. I am very good at hiding my emotions... This has its drawbacks...
So, Sensei didn't take me seriously. He humored me
Another instance in which he humored me
For, like, a week-long period, it was another test week, although written, this time. So the desks were totally reorganized. All evently spaced, covering the whole of the room, rather than stuffed in groups of four along the walls. Sensei randomly placed our name cards on the desks (we made 'em at the beginning of the year so he could randomly call on whoever he drew). I was pretty close to where I used to sit. Miranda was next to me. While searching for this seat, I spied Adam's card on the other side of the room, smiling with glee when I finally found my own far, far away. I get to class as early as humanly possible, this being my fourth period following lunch, so I had another seven minutes or so before class officially began and the majority of the class came in. Me, Sarah, and my twin, as well as Miranda shortly following, always get there early. So I was there was Sensei was surveying the seating arrangement when he suddenly goes all, "Oh, Adam can't sit next to so-and-so (I forget who". So he moves Adam's card kitty corner to me. I vehemently object. Humoring me, Sensei places it next to my twin, who goes, "I don't like him, either." Sighing exhaustedly, he moved Adam's card to the back, next to Keegan and so-forth. Mission accomplished! Managed to avoid him! Sensei's patience had been worn, thin, however
Finally, the desks return to their original positions. Except the two tables at the center of the room, where Adam was eventually moved last time, were further back than before. Suddenly, he sits two feet from me. Uh....... No. Not happening! So, the moment I recognize this, I go straight to Sensei and tell him, "That's closer than before." Before, it was tolerable. This's too close. "Can you move me somewhere else?" He moves me in front of Adam. I object, again, and he just goes, "It's only for three days." Granted, it was. We would get new seats when we came back from winter break, said break of which was three days away. He wouldn't move me. So I sat in my desk, absolutely terrified. Ignored everyone and stared at my desk, too scared to move. Granted, Adam hasn't really done anything to me. In fact, he hasn't talked to me for awhile. But the fear from before pervades. He is absolutely terrifying without even trying. You cannot even comprehend my terror! The moment I got home, I ordered mom to write Sensei a letter demanding she move my seat. Oh, she complied right quick. I read over the letter. I love Mom. She's awesome. The letter briefly detailed what Adam had done-- how he'd conered my sister in the stairwell, how he wouldn't leave me alone, and so-forth. I gave it to Sensei, and he was just all "What's this?" "A letter from my mother demanding you move my seat." He just looked at me exhaustedly, again, and read it while doing whatever he'd been doing before. When he finished, it was obvious. He came straight to me, I still standing next to the desk he'd placed me in, refusing to sit, and directed me to my twin and Sarah's group. For some reason, they'd managed to get their own group O.o But that was nice. Finally-- finally! he was taking me seriously. And, after class: "If I ever forget and place too close to Adam, tell me." *sigh* So relieved!
And then, I recieved what I thought even better news. Apparently, in zero hour, Adam had been telling them how he was transferring to a new school. And he'd be gone for good come winter break! Oh, I was so excited! However... on Friday, Sensei asks everyone what they're doing for break, and he gets to Adam and casually comments how this's his last day. "Oh, no," said Adam. "I'll be here 'til March." And there was even a chance of him not transferring! It depended on whether this mystery school accepted his transcript or something along those lines. End of class? He asks me and my twin to stay after. Tells us to call "Mr. Miller". He'd thought Adam'd be gone come winter break, too. And he'd given the letter to Mr. Miller! And Mr. Miller wanted to speak with our parents. But the guy was gone, at that point. It was a half day. He'd already left for vacation. So, we'd call him come January
It's January. Mom, being so absentminded, forgot to call yesterday. Today, I pestered her 'til she did. It was 4:00. He'd left at 3:00. So, she left a message asking to schedule an appointment. She and Dad talked it over and decided they'll prob'ly be goin' in Friday morning. Dad was already gonna take Monday and Tuesday off next week, so he'll just reorder his schedule a bit to make it. As I've said before: they're both taking this very seriously. Especially after my big sister was sexually harassed and the principal told her "Boys will be boys." And then we found out, later, that the guy raped my sis's friend. But she didn't tell anyone. So they didn't get him arrested for far too long and he continued to harass my big sister! Oh, they're taking this seriously -_- They have reason to. And both me and my twin are tiny. She's an inch or so taller, but I'm 5 ft 2, 105 lbs. This guy is freaking huge. He's at least six feet tall-- and at least twice my weight! Top that as super religious with a male superiority complex, someone who likes to associate with sophomore girls and so-forth... Oh, they've every reason to take this seriously, and seriously they're taking it. When they go in, they'll take me and my twin with 'em. We'll miss some class, but this's important. That's why I'm on here. I wrote those previous "Boy Trouble" things with the full intention of storing the memory of what Adam's done. I knew I'd forget specifics (I'm absentminded, too). I came on here to collect that information, type it out in a Word document, print it, and give it to Mom. We'll then give it to Mr. Miller when we see him, hopefully Friday
This time-- this time, I think it really is the end. *determined* Finally, I can live without this terror
Sensei did not take me in the least seriously about the sexual harassment. That comment was the only thing I ever told him about it, and the only time he ever asked (actually, I do think he asked one more time, and I gave him the same response, so same difference). I knew he wasn't taking me seriously, but so long as he continued to at least humor me, I was fine with it. He moved me, as I said before, next to Sam. And he humored me a couple more times
We were getting groups assigned for Invasion and on, and he was using the day of the month to decide. Just pointed randomly at people and they said either "tsuitachi", "futsuka", "mikka", or "yokka", this being their assigned group. Adam was "mikka", so I made sure to note in my paranoid way, despite my ignoring him in every aspect by all appearances (I didn't respond to anything he said, whenever he greeted me or waved, and stuck my nose in a book whenever he talked to me, but I paid very close attention to things of this sort; vital information). I'm sure you've figured out by now that I got "mikka". I was the last person to get assigned and the person before me had been "futsuka". I didn't even say "mikka". First thing outta my mouth was "Can I be in another group?" He humored me. Obviously wasn't taking my plea seriously, but humored me and put me in Sarah's group. Adam ended up with Isaac and some other guy, I forget who, and we did not interact, I pointedly not even looking at the guy (which's why I don't recall who the other guy was)
As for Sensei not taking me seriously. I suppose that is on me, a bit
Because I do not interact with people, I am absolutely horrible at portraying emotion. When I'm disgusted, I consciously make a disgusted expression. I must consciously subplant absolutely any emotion on my face; otherwise, I'm blank. That's prob'ly why a lot of people are scared of me, despite how irrational that seems to me, honestly. But who am I to talk? I'm the definition of irrational fears, being inflicted with multiple phobias and all. But, as I said. I must force myself to make an expression. And I'm not all that good at it. I actually practice certain expressions in the mirror, such as glee, gratitude, disgust, contriteness, and smiling, overall. Fear's not one I practice. Have I mentioned that I suck at expressing my emotions overall? Not just on my face. I've always had issues getting a point across. Despite my wide vocabulary, I've never been particularly articulate when speaking face-to-face. And the fact that I consider fear a weakness prob'ly hasn't helped my case, either. When I'm in pain, my face goes totally blank. When I want to cry-- blank. When I'm scared? It's the same. I pratice blankness a lot, too. But then I just go and kill my case even more. Pain is a weakness to me. So, when I'm in pain, I'll either go totally blank or, quite literally, laugh it off. I know that this's totally stupid and irrational. I mean, what could I possibly be getting out of this hiding such things? Nothing, really. Not entirely sure why I do it. Just that I do. So I laugh off pain. With fear? I feign confidence. When I said "I like to call it sexual harrassment", I'll admit my tone was pretty haughty. Not sure 'bout my expression, but I was pretty happy he was even asking, 'cause that meant he might be taking my case seriously. Back when he'd known absolutely nothing of what was occuring in the first place, that is. So I covered up my fear. And I covered it good. I am very good at hiding my emotions... This has its drawbacks...
So, Sensei didn't take me seriously. He humored me
Another instance in which he humored me
For, like, a week-long period, it was another test week, although written, this time. So the desks were totally reorganized. All evently spaced, covering the whole of the room, rather than stuffed in groups of four along the walls. Sensei randomly placed our name cards on the desks (we made 'em at the beginning of the year so he could randomly call on whoever he drew). I was pretty close to where I used to sit. Miranda was next to me. While searching for this seat, I spied Adam's card on the other side of the room, smiling with glee when I finally found my own far, far away. I get to class as early as humanly possible, this being my fourth period following lunch, so I had another seven minutes or so before class officially began and the majority of the class came in. Me, Sarah, and my twin, as well as Miranda shortly following, always get there early. So I was there was Sensei was surveying the seating arrangement when he suddenly goes all, "Oh, Adam can't sit next to so-and-so (I forget who". So he moves Adam's card kitty corner to me. I vehemently object. Humoring me, Sensei places it next to my twin, who goes, "I don't like him, either." Sighing exhaustedly, he moved Adam's card to the back, next to Keegan and so-forth. Mission accomplished! Managed to avoid him! Sensei's patience had been worn, thin, however
Finally, the desks return to their original positions. Except the two tables at the center of the room, where Adam was eventually moved last time, were further back than before. Suddenly, he sits two feet from me. Uh....... No. Not happening! So, the moment I recognize this, I go straight to Sensei and tell him, "That's closer than before." Before, it was tolerable. This's too close. "Can you move me somewhere else?" He moves me in front of Adam. I object, again, and he just goes, "It's only for three days." Granted, it was. We would get new seats when we came back from winter break, said break of which was three days away. He wouldn't move me. So I sat in my desk, absolutely terrified. Ignored everyone and stared at my desk, too scared to move. Granted, Adam hasn't really done anything to me. In fact, he hasn't talked to me for awhile. But the fear from before pervades. He is absolutely terrifying without even trying. You cannot even comprehend my terror! The moment I got home, I ordered mom to write Sensei a letter demanding she move my seat. Oh, she complied right quick. I read over the letter. I love Mom. She's awesome. The letter briefly detailed what Adam had done-- how he'd conered my sister in the stairwell, how he wouldn't leave me alone, and so-forth. I gave it to Sensei, and he was just all "What's this?" "A letter from my mother demanding you move my seat." He just looked at me exhaustedly, again, and read it while doing whatever he'd been doing before. When he finished, it was obvious. He came straight to me, I still standing next to the desk he'd placed me in, refusing to sit, and directed me to my twin and Sarah's group. For some reason, they'd managed to get their own group O.o But that was nice. Finally-- finally! he was taking me seriously. And, after class: "If I ever forget and place too close to Adam, tell me." *sigh* So relieved!
And then, I recieved what I thought even better news. Apparently, in zero hour, Adam had been telling them how he was transferring to a new school. And he'd be gone for good come winter break! Oh, I was so excited! However... on Friday, Sensei asks everyone what they're doing for break, and he gets to Adam and casually comments how this's his last day. "Oh, no," said Adam. "I'll be here 'til March." And there was even a chance of him not transferring! It depended on whether this mystery school accepted his transcript or something along those lines. End of class? He asks me and my twin to stay after. Tells us to call "Mr. Miller". He'd thought Adam'd be gone come winter break, too. And he'd given the letter to Mr. Miller! And Mr. Miller wanted to speak with our parents. But the guy was gone, at that point. It was a half day. He'd already left for vacation. So, we'd call him come January
It's January. Mom, being so absentminded, forgot to call yesterday. Today, I pestered her 'til she did. It was 4:00. He'd left at 3:00. So, she left a message asking to schedule an appointment. She and Dad talked it over and decided they'll prob'ly be goin' in Friday morning. Dad was already gonna take Monday and Tuesday off next week, so he'll just reorder his schedule a bit to make it. As I've said before: they're both taking this very seriously. Especially after my big sister was sexually harassed and the principal told her "Boys will be boys." And then we found out, later, that the guy raped my sis's friend. But she didn't tell anyone. So they didn't get him arrested for far too long and he continued to harass my big sister! Oh, they're taking this seriously -_- They have reason to. And both me and my twin are tiny. She's an inch or so taller, but I'm 5 ft 2, 105 lbs. This guy is freaking huge. He's at least six feet tall-- and at least twice my weight! Top that as super religious with a male superiority complex, someone who likes to associate with sophomore girls and so-forth... Oh, they've every reason to take this seriously, and seriously they're taking it. When they go in, they'll take me and my twin with 'em. We'll miss some class, but this's important. That's why I'm on here. I wrote those previous "Boy Trouble" things with the full intention of storing the memory of what Adam's done. I knew I'd forget specifics (I'm absentminded, too). I came on here to collect that information, type it out in a Word document, print it, and give it to Mom. We'll then give it to Mr. Miller when we see him, hopefully Friday
This time-- this time, I think it really is the end. *determined* Finally, I can live without this terror