That quote/banner thing at the beginning of this entry is almost making me cry. Because there are two people to whom it applies in my life, and it's so true. Losing people hurts, but it sometimes just happens...when life changes, when people grow apart, etc. It hurts a lot, but it happens. But what hurts so much more is when you put in the effort to at least stay SOMEWHAT close, and you get nothing back from the other person. You get blown off when you have plans, or it's pulling teeth to even make the plans. And it hurts so much to know that someone to whom you once meant so much, now won't lift a finger to spend time with you. It makes you wonder if you ever really meant as much to them as you thought you did, or as much as they meant to you. :(
I'm afraid of not being good enough for anyone. I always put on a happy face but really, deep down, I'm depressed. I don't want anyone to worry about me but at the same time comfort is always good. I'm just confused I guess.
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I'm also very shallow. I try not to be, but I just can't help it. I'm stuck up and shallow. But it's really only to cover up my own insecurities.
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Sometimes I'm afraid that if I go on living the way I do, I won't anymore. And the blood will be on my own hands.
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