Begging for help

[aleathiel]

Are any of you willing to do a quick read-through of the first scene (about 5k) of my Marcus/Esca/Cottia fic

Comments

[linaerys]

Heya. Feel free to send to linaerys@livejournal.com. If it's just for an overall read, a Google doc works for me.

[aleathiel]

Thank you! I've added you to the googledoc, since I really just want to know overall thoughts. It needs far more work before it needs any line-by-line reading!

[carmarthen]

Ack, I hope I'm not being too detailed. Will dial back. :-(

[aleathiel]

No, your comments are great! It's just that I'm still expecting to make substantial changes to it. Will read the comments properly after work. Thanks!

[carmarthen]

I have trouble turning off the comma splice/typo-spotting portion of my brain! But I tried.

[aleathiel]

Actually a lot of your comments were similar to linaerys's. I think there needs to be a better sense of the existing relationships, perhaps by having this not be the beginning. And clearer evidence of how they are feeling and any potential later conflict. What do you think?