Fic: The Silence of the Mind 7/7
Title:The Silence of the Mind
Author: alex_caligari
Beta: jellybean728
Characters/Pairings: Owen Harper
Rating: 14A
Summary: Owen is captured during the Year That Never Was. He quickly finds out that the worst tortures are not the ones he expected.
Disclaimer: All puppets still firmly attached to the BBC.
Author's Notes: Torchwood/Doctor Who crossover, set during the end of S1 and S3, respectively. Nothing graphic, but things will get worse quite quickly.
Chapter 1: International Relations Chapter 2: Anonymous Chapter 3: Boredom Chapter 4: Taking the Bullet Chapter 5: Hope Chapter 6: Rejoice Chapter 7: Epilogue
Time passed, and no one talked about it.
The others were fine. Tosh, Gwen, Ianto. Everything returned to Torchwood’s version of normal. I knew that we all were very good at hiding things from each other. Every single one of us had demonstrated that talent in the past. No one took notice of new habits or old lies. If any did notice, no one said anything. No one noticed my wasted frame. No one asked about my sleep deprived eyes. No one mentioned my frequent visits to the pub.
Jack returned to us. I was almost breaking under the strain of the leading the team, and they sensed my anxiety. Jack gracefully stepped back into that role, with all the bravado and bluster we expected from him.
I realized that Gwen and Tosh never made it on to the Valiant. Gwen’s outrage and Tosh’s shock at Jack’s return were too genuine. I wasn’t sure about Ianto. He kept things very close to his tailored vest, and his reactions were always private.
With the pressure off me, I quietly came undone.
I was still trying to drink the nightmares away, even though I knew it was a losing battle, when he found me. The wool sleeve appeared in my vision beside me at the bar, and an American accent ordered a stiff drink, emphasizing the ‘stiff’ part. He didn’t say anything until it arrived, and I didn’t look up at him.
“It’s over, Owen,” Jack said softly. “It wasn’t your fault.”
“We should have been there,” I slurred. I wasn’t sure who I meant by ‘we.’
“It wouldn’t have changed anything.” He shifted on his stool to face me, but I still didn’t look up. I saw his knees almost touch mine. “You need to let it go, Owen. Otherwise he destroys you all over again, every day.”
My breath felt heavy in my chest. “Jack...” My voice caught and I couldn’t say anything more.
A large hand rested on my back, rubbed back and forth a few times before returning to the glass on the bar.
“It won’t be easy, but you will put it behind you.” Jack smiled; I could hear it in his voice. “You need to be around for the next time we save the world.”
Jack was right. It wouldn’t be easy. I had noticed new habits in him, a restlessness and blankness that I recognized in myself. No one talked about it, yet I wasn’t alone. I needed to be there. That was the reason I kept coming back. It was the only support Torchwood could offer.
“Thanks, Captain,” I said, clinking my glass with his.
“No problem, Doctor.”
Author: alex_caligari
Beta: jellybean728
Characters/Pairings: Owen Harper
Rating: 14A
Summary: Owen is captured during the Year That Never Was. He quickly finds out that the worst tortures are not the ones he expected.
Disclaimer: All puppets still firmly attached to the BBC.
Author's Notes: Torchwood/Doctor Who crossover, set during the end of S1 and S3, respectively. Nothing graphic, but things will get worse quite quickly.
Chapter 1: International Relations Chapter 2: Anonymous Chapter 3: Boredom Chapter 4: Taking the Bullet Chapter 5: Hope Chapter 6: Rejoice Chapter 7: Epilogue
Time passed, and no one talked about it.
The others were fine. Tosh, Gwen, Ianto. Everything returned to Torchwood’s version of normal. I knew that we all were very good at hiding things from each other. Every single one of us had demonstrated that talent in the past. No one took notice of new habits or old lies. If any did notice, no one said anything. No one noticed my wasted frame. No one asked about my sleep deprived eyes. No one mentioned my frequent visits to the pub.
Jack returned to us. I was almost breaking under the strain of the leading the team, and they sensed my anxiety. Jack gracefully stepped back into that role, with all the bravado and bluster we expected from him.
I realized that Gwen and Tosh never made it on to the Valiant. Gwen’s outrage and Tosh’s shock at Jack’s return were too genuine. I wasn’t sure about Ianto. He kept things very close to his tailored vest, and his reactions were always private.
With the pressure off me, I quietly came undone.
I was still trying to drink the nightmares away, even though I knew it was a losing battle, when he found me. The wool sleeve appeared in my vision beside me at the bar, and an American accent ordered a stiff drink, emphasizing the ‘stiff’ part. He didn’t say anything until it arrived, and I didn’t look up at him.
“It’s over, Owen,” Jack said softly. “It wasn’t your fault.”
“We should have been there,” I slurred. I wasn’t sure who I meant by ‘we.’
“It wouldn’t have changed anything.” He shifted on his stool to face me, but I still didn’t look up. I saw his knees almost touch mine. “You need to let it go, Owen. Otherwise he destroys you all over again, every day.”
My breath felt heavy in my chest. “Jack...” My voice caught and I couldn’t say anything more.
A large hand rested on my back, rubbed back and forth a few times before returning to the glass on the bar.
“It won’t be easy, but you will put it behind you.” Jack smiled; I could hear it in his voice. “You need to be around for the next time we save the world.”
Jack was right. It wouldn’t be easy. I had noticed new habits in him, a restlessness and blankness that I recognized in myself. No one talked about it, yet I wasn’t alone. I needed to be there. That was the reason I kept coming back. It was the only support Torchwood could offer.
“Thanks, Captain,” I said, clinking my glass with his.
“No problem, Doctor.”