Post-Trauma 3/?
A little more "Post-Trauma." I'm not sure where to go next after this....
“Why haven’t you told him?”
Greg’s friend James is standing in his doorway again. “James, hi.”
“You haven’t told House about his old psychiatrist.”
“Told him what? He knows what Luerssen did-he knows more about it than I do.”
“Yes, but he doesn’t…he thinks Luerssen made him better.”
“Right, and I could tell him that what Luerssen did wasn’t just malpractice, it was torture, but it wouldn’t do any good. He has to figure out for himself that everything Luerssen said was a lie. If I just tell him, it won’t mean anything.”
James sighs. “I guess that makes sense.”
“Yeah. It sucks, though. Have you done any of those tests we talked about last time?”
“I’ve taken the samples and gotten started, but nothing unusual has turned up yet. Do you have any ideas on what I should be looking for?”
“Psychopharmacology isn’t my specialty. I’ve contacted some colleagues who might have some ideas, but I haven’t heard back from anyone yet.”
“I was hoping that once we started the tests, he’d…get caught up in the puzzle. Like he used to. But he just gave me the samples and went back to the clinic.”
“I wouldn’t expect him to get better all of a sudden. It’s going to take some time.”
“I didn’t really expect…I just hoped he would.”
Temas decides to shift a few of Luerssen’s old patients to other clinicians he trusts-it’s a weirdly incestuous feeling, treating all of the other doctor’s victims. On the one hand, seeing several patients with essentially the same problem gives him more insight into what went on under Luerssen’s tenure, but on the other, having other practitioners treat some of them will provide different perspectives on the problem. He refers out three patients who are progressing well, and no longer require the expertise of a psychiatrist who specializes in treating nonverbal patients, and another five with whom he hasn’t managed to develop much rapport. He’s able to take on a few new patients in return, and it’s a refreshing change.
But he keeps most of Luerssen’s patients, including Greg House. He’s making some progress with them, and it’s satisfying at the same time as it’s depressing, realizing that it’s going to take months of work just to get them to the place where they were when they began treatment.
Temas realizes just how far Greg, for one, has come, when he enters his office a few minutes before 3 o’clock to find Greg already there, standing in front of the shelves. He only flinches a little when Temas comes in, and, after a brief exchange of pleasantries, volunteers, “Legos. I used to really like these.”
“Go ahead and build something while we talk, if you want,” Temas says casually. Lots of people speak more openly when they have something to do with their hands-it’s nearly always a good sign when any adult patient shows interest in building something, and it’s a very good sign for one of Luerssen’s to show interest in anything.
“Well…okay.” Greg tucks the tub of Legos under his arm and hobbles over to the chairs. He spends a few minutes sorting a pile of blue and black Legos out of the tub. “I saw Wilson this week,” he finally confides.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. Is that okay?”
Temas wants to say, “God yes,” but instead asks, “What do you think?”
Greg shrugs. “He didn’t give me any drugs,” he says hopefully.
Temas doesn’t say, “No shit,” either. “Glad to hear it. How did it go?”
“Okay, I guess.”
“What do you think about bringing him along for one of your sessions here?” Luerssen seems to have made a habit of shrouding his therapeutic sessions in secrecy, and isolating his victims from any external support systems. Temas has decided that helping them reconnect with their social networks will be an important part of their recovery. Bringing friends and family into sessions will help him to help the patients discern which, if any, of their loved ones really are likely to enable their disordered behavior and which will be supportive of recovery.
Greg shrugs. “Don’t know if he’ll come.”
“Would you like him to come, if he’s willing?”
Greg works with the Legos for a while. “Dunno. I guess.”
“Okay. Do you want to ask him yourself, or would you like me to get in touch with him?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well, think about it.”
“Okay.”
Temas watches Greg build with the Legos for a while. It’s not clear what he’s making; it’s definitely not a house. “What are you making?” he asks after a while.
“Guillotine,” Greg answers. “Do you have any string?”
“I might,” Temas says, amused. “Check the shelves; craft materials are in that box under the crayons. I’ll look in my desk.”
The next week, Greg shows up for his session with James in tow. Temas is a bit taken aback-Greg had devoted most of the rest of his previous session to finishing the guillotine, and hadn’t said anything more about bringing his friend to a session-but he hides it and welcomes them both.
“I brought Wilson.” Greg stares at the floor. “Like you said.”
“I see. C’mon in.”
Greg drifts toward the shelves. “I think I figured out how to make a catapult out of Legos.”
“House,” Wilson says. “I think those toys are for the children.”
“It’s okay,” Temas answers.
Greg settles down with the legos. “Wilson, you can have the red and yellow ones.”
“Thanks,” Wilson says.
Temas invites him to sit, and adds, “Thanks for coming today, James.”
“No problem.”
“What would you like to work on today, Greg?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know.”
“James, do you have someplace you’d like to start?”
The other man shrugs too.
Temas thinks fast. He hadn’t thought that anything had been decided yet about bringing James to a session. He had figured they’d spend part of today’s appointment talking about that some more, and working out what Greg was comfortable discussing with his friend there. He wonders if he should skip the check-in questions-Greg always just says, “Fine,” anyway-but decides that since they’ve established a routine, he should stick to it. “How was your week?”
“Fine.”
“Everything going all right at work?”
“Yes.”
“How about at home?”
“Everything’s fine.”
“Great. Have you thought about anything you’d like to work on with James?”
“No.”
“Okay. Well, one thing we could talk about is what’s changed since you’ve been back from rehab.”
Greg tenses, and withdraws his hand from the Lego box. “What do you mean? I’m clean now. That’s what’s changed.”
“That’s one big change, certainly,” Temas agrees. “Can you think of anything else that’s different?”
“No.”
“What do you think, James?”
James rubs the back of his neck. “I…I don’t know.” He looks down at the red Legos Greg had pressed into his hand. “Are you happy? Now?”
“I’m better now. Normal. That’s what you wanted, isn’t it?”
“No. I mean, I did want you to get better, and have a, a normal life. But I don’t think you are better. You’re, you haven’t been yourself, haven’t you noticed?”
Greg rests his chin on the head of his cane. “When I was myself, I was miserable and everybody hated me.” The words sound like they came from Lursssen, but his tone is casual and observational, like this is just something he’s noticed.
“And you’re not miserable now?” James asks.
“No. I’m better now.”
“Are you happy?”
Greg hesitates. “Are normal people happy?”
“…Sometimes,” James answers.
“Then yes.”
There’s nothing convincing about his answer. “What kinds of things make you happy?” Temas asks.
Greg sorts a few more Legos from the box and stacks them. “I don’t know.”
“Well, think about it.”
“I don’t know. Normal things.”
“You’re a lot of things, House, but you’re not normal. And you’re not happy, either.”
“I’m doing everything I’m supposed to,” Greg says bleakly. “So I must be happy. And normal.”
“You’re not supposed to be normal!” James shouts.
Greg turns to Temas with a betrayed look. “I told you.”
“Um…what did you tell me?”
“That he doesn’t want me to be better.”
“That’s not what I meant,” James says, before Temas can respond. “I just think you can be better…healthier…and still be you.”
“I don’t know what you mean.” Greg folds his hands in his lap and stares at them. “I’m better now. I was bad before. Being better means not being like I was before.”
James tilts his head to one side. “Oh, House….”
“Where’d you get the idea that you were bad before?” Temas asks.
Greg looks baffled. “I don’t know. Everywhere.”
“House…you have, had, a drug problem. That doesn’t mean everything about you is bad,” James says.
“I know.”
“Why haven’t you told him?”
Greg’s friend James is standing in his doorway again. “James, hi.”
“You haven’t told House about his old psychiatrist.”
“Told him what? He knows what Luerssen did-he knows more about it than I do.”
“Yes, but he doesn’t…he thinks Luerssen made him better.”
“Right, and I could tell him that what Luerssen did wasn’t just malpractice, it was torture, but it wouldn’t do any good. He has to figure out for himself that everything Luerssen said was a lie. If I just tell him, it won’t mean anything.”
James sighs. “I guess that makes sense.”
“Yeah. It sucks, though. Have you done any of those tests we talked about last time?”
“I’ve taken the samples and gotten started, but nothing unusual has turned up yet. Do you have any ideas on what I should be looking for?”
“Psychopharmacology isn’t my specialty. I’ve contacted some colleagues who might have some ideas, but I haven’t heard back from anyone yet.”
“I was hoping that once we started the tests, he’d…get caught up in the puzzle. Like he used to. But he just gave me the samples and went back to the clinic.”
“I wouldn’t expect him to get better all of a sudden. It’s going to take some time.”
“I didn’t really expect…I just hoped he would.”
Temas decides to shift a few of Luerssen’s old patients to other clinicians he trusts-it’s a weirdly incestuous feeling, treating all of the other doctor’s victims. On the one hand, seeing several patients with essentially the same problem gives him more insight into what went on under Luerssen’s tenure, but on the other, having other practitioners treat some of them will provide different perspectives on the problem. He refers out three patients who are progressing well, and no longer require the expertise of a psychiatrist who specializes in treating nonverbal patients, and another five with whom he hasn’t managed to develop much rapport. He’s able to take on a few new patients in return, and it’s a refreshing change.
But he keeps most of Luerssen’s patients, including Greg House. He’s making some progress with them, and it’s satisfying at the same time as it’s depressing, realizing that it’s going to take months of work just to get them to the place where they were when they began treatment.
Temas realizes just how far Greg, for one, has come, when he enters his office a few minutes before 3 o’clock to find Greg already there, standing in front of the shelves. He only flinches a little when Temas comes in, and, after a brief exchange of pleasantries, volunteers, “Legos. I used to really like these.”
“Go ahead and build something while we talk, if you want,” Temas says casually. Lots of people speak more openly when they have something to do with their hands-it’s nearly always a good sign when any adult patient shows interest in building something, and it’s a very good sign for one of Luerssen’s to show interest in anything.
“Well…okay.” Greg tucks the tub of Legos under his arm and hobbles over to the chairs. He spends a few minutes sorting a pile of blue and black Legos out of the tub. “I saw Wilson this week,” he finally confides.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. Is that okay?”
Temas wants to say, “God yes,” but instead asks, “What do you think?”
Greg shrugs. “He didn’t give me any drugs,” he says hopefully.
Temas doesn’t say, “No shit,” either. “Glad to hear it. How did it go?”
“Okay, I guess.”
“What do you think about bringing him along for one of your sessions here?” Luerssen seems to have made a habit of shrouding his therapeutic sessions in secrecy, and isolating his victims from any external support systems. Temas has decided that helping them reconnect with their social networks will be an important part of their recovery. Bringing friends and family into sessions will help him to help the patients discern which, if any, of their loved ones really are likely to enable their disordered behavior and which will be supportive of recovery.
Greg shrugs. “Don’t know if he’ll come.”
“Would you like him to come, if he’s willing?”
Greg works with the Legos for a while. “Dunno. I guess.”
“Okay. Do you want to ask him yourself, or would you like me to get in touch with him?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well, think about it.”
“Okay.”
Temas watches Greg build with the Legos for a while. It’s not clear what he’s making; it’s definitely not a house. “What are you making?” he asks after a while.
“Guillotine,” Greg answers. “Do you have any string?”
“I might,” Temas says, amused. “Check the shelves; craft materials are in that box under the crayons. I’ll look in my desk.”
The next week, Greg shows up for his session with James in tow. Temas is a bit taken aback-Greg had devoted most of the rest of his previous session to finishing the guillotine, and hadn’t said anything more about bringing his friend to a session-but he hides it and welcomes them both.
“I brought Wilson.” Greg stares at the floor. “Like you said.”
“I see. C’mon in.”
Greg drifts toward the shelves. “I think I figured out how to make a catapult out of Legos.”
“House,” Wilson says. “I think those toys are for the children.”
“It’s okay,” Temas answers.
Greg settles down with the legos. “Wilson, you can have the red and yellow ones.”
“Thanks,” Wilson says.
Temas invites him to sit, and adds, “Thanks for coming today, James.”
“No problem.”
“What would you like to work on today, Greg?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know.”
“James, do you have someplace you’d like to start?”
The other man shrugs too.
Temas thinks fast. He hadn’t thought that anything had been decided yet about bringing James to a session. He had figured they’d spend part of today’s appointment talking about that some more, and working out what Greg was comfortable discussing with his friend there. He wonders if he should skip the check-in questions-Greg always just says, “Fine,” anyway-but decides that since they’ve established a routine, he should stick to it. “How was your week?”
“Fine.”
“Everything going all right at work?”
“Yes.”
“How about at home?”
“Everything’s fine.”
“Great. Have you thought about anything you’d like to work on with James?”
“No.”
“Okay. Well, one thing we could talk about is what’s changed since you’ve been back from rehab.”
Greg tenses, and withdraws his hand from the Lego box. “What do you mean? I’m clean now. That’s what’s changed.”
“That’s one big change, certainly,” Temas agrees. “Can you think of anything else that’s different?”
“No.”
“What do you think, James?”
James rubs the back of his neck. “I…I don’t know.” He looks down at the red Legos Greg had pressed into his hand. “Are you happy? Now?”
“I’m better now. Normal. That’s what you wanted, isn’t it?”
“No. I mean, I did want you to get better, and have a, a normal life. But I don’t think you are better. You’re, you haven’t been yourself, haven’t you noticed?”
Greg rests his chin on the head of his cane. “When I was myself, I was miserable and everybody hated me.” The words sound like they came from Lursssen, but his tone is casual and observational, like this is just something he’s noticed.
“And you’re not miserable now?” James asks.
“No. I’m better now.”
“Are you happy?”
Greg hesitates. “Are normal people happy?”
“…Sometimes,” James answers.
“Then yes.”
There’s nothing convincing about his answer. “What kinds of things make you happy?” Temas asks.
Greg sorts a few more Legos from the box and stacks them. “I don’t know.”
“Well, think about it.”
“I don’t know. Normal things.”
“You’re a lot of things, House, but you’re not normal. And you’re not happy, either.”
“I’m doing everything I’m supposed to,” Greg says bleakly. “So I must be happy. And normal.”
“You’re not supposed to be normal!” James shouts.
Greg turns to Temas with a betrayed look. “I told you.”
“Um…what did you tell me?”
“That he doesn’t want me to be better.”
“That’s not what I meant,” James says, before Temas can respond. “I just think you can be better…healthier…and still be you.”
“I don’t know what you mean.” Greg folds his hands in his lap and stares at them. “I’m better now. I was bad before. Being better means not being like I was before.”
James tilts his head to one side. “Oh, House….”
“Where’d you get the idea that you were bad before?” Temas asks.
Greg looks baffled. “I don’t know. Everywhere.”
“House…you have, had, a drug problem. That doesn’t mean everything about you is bad,” James says.
“I know.”