Fic: Different (4/?)
7. Oh One Oh Two
Olivia Benson had learned early to be observant. She had developed the skill as a self defense mechanism as a child, watching her alcoholic mother.
It was before her third birthday that Olivia knew the indicators for determining what kind of day she would have to navigate. A happy and cheerful mom in the morning meant that mom would be passed out before five PM. A grumbling and grouchy mom meant that Olivia would have to avoid her mother who would be spoiling for a fight. Because of Olivia's ability to see what was coming it had been rare that their fights would be physical.
The in between moods were harder to recognize but Olivia learned the clues: a shaky hand, the mumbled word, being called his kid rather than her name. It had astounded Olivia that the other adults around her were so blind to the truth.
As a teenager she was able to manipulate people but it always left her feeling horrible. In her mind it made her like her mother and that was the last person she wanted to grow up to become.
So she parlayed her observation skills into a good career. Olivia was a good cop even though her compassion for the victim sometimes got her in trouble. She knew on some level that she was making an attempt at saving the child she had been. While there had been no sexual abuse in her childhood Olivia knew she would have been blamed if the uncle of that month had turned his attentions to her. But her mother always kept the creeps away once she recognized them.
Her observation skills had the added effect of being able to recognize when someone around her changed even if it was slight. The changes to Alex after New Years Day were insignificant to the rest of the squad but Olivia saw them as if they were bubble lights. What she couldn’t figure out was what they meant.
The second of January had been awkward. She had left Alex's apartment before the blonde had awakened. The note she left behind thanked Alex for the invitation and explained of the predawn phone call that was the cause of her exit. It felt like she was sneaking out of a one-night stand.
Then Alex had come to the station to observe the questioning of a suspect. Olivia noticed right off that Alex couldn’t even look her in the eye. She let Elliot deal with the prosecutor and did her own little avoidance dance into the crib.
It took a couple days for the ill at ease feelings to fade and as they did the ever-observant detective noticed that Alex was acting different. At first Olivia thought she was imagining things. Alex wouldn’t jerk her feelings around like that. Then again, Alex didn’t know that Olivia was interested in her. She may have thought that it was all in good fun. Or maybe it was all unconscious.
Right. Alex is unconsciously coming on to you, Olivia scoffed.
Flirting would have been too strong a word for what she saw happening but over the next couple weeks Olivia was convinced that something was going on. She just didn’t know what it was.
Olivia felt as if her personal space was being invaded. Every time she was working with Alex the blonde seemed to stand closer than she had before. A couple of times they brushed against each other when Alex stood too close. Alex had also taken to touching Olivia's arm to get her attention. Olivia didn’t mind the contact; Alex being one of the few people she was comfortable enough with to allow it. She just found it strange that the lawyer had suddenly started initiating it.
Then there were the phone calls. Olivia had once joked that Alex was addicted to her Blackberry. Alex would text message and send e-mail ten times a day looking answers to her never-ending list of questions. A phone call was a rare occurrence. Until now. Now it seemed that Alex would call for any reason.
In the past Olivia would have brought it up with Alex but now she hesitated. She could come up with plausible explanations to rationalize her observations. The squad room and Alex's office were both cramped for space. Alex touching her wasn’t really that new even if she had started noticing it more. The phone calls could be because of the constant teasing that she subjected Alex to about her Crackberry addiction. The truth was Olivia didn’t mention any of it because she didn’t like the awkwardness of those two days.
Olivia plugged along never once acknowledging it and at times enjoying the proximity even if she did find it all bewildering. Alex had been very clear that the kiss had been a mistake. So why was she now initiating contact, why the phone calls and why is she always standing so damn close?
* * *
8. Coffee And More
Alex's baffling behavior remained at the edge of Olivia's mind for the rest of the month. She wouldn’t deliberately think about it but on occasion it would come roaring out and give her a V8 pop to the head. By the beginning of February she convinced herself that she needed to completely forget the drunken incident. She knew what needed to be done but the opportunity had yet to avail itself.
On the coldest day of the year yet Olivia wandered into The Daily Grind, her favorite little coffee shop that was located between her subway stop and the 16th. Just the smell of roasted espresso beans made Olivia feel a little more awake. She got in line behind two other customers, not looking at the menu and letting her mind wander in the temporary lull the wait afforded her. Once more, thoughts of Alex Cabot and January first snuck out into her daydream.
The reverie faded as she felt someone move in line behind her. Years on the street made her size up the woman who joined the queue. A snap judgment later they exchanged the strangers smile, the non verbal equivalent of "hey, how ya doin", and Olivia went back to her own thoughts.
The two in front were having trouble deciding the size of their drinks. Olivia winced inwardly when the kid at the counter foolishly asked what kind of milk they wanted with their lattes. She had been running ahead of time when she decided to stop in to get some real coffee. She checked her watch and sighed. Better pick up something for Elliot too now.
Olivia made eye contact again with the woman behind who gave her a sympathetic smile and the smallest of shrugs. Her eyes, Olivia noticed, were brilliantly green.
Feeling foolishly bold Olivia conspiratorially whispered, "There should be a rule about not taking more than 30 seconds to make up your mind once you're up there or you get sent to the back of the line."
"I've gained a few more grey hairs since I got in line," the woman chuckled.
Olivia's eyes flicked to the woman's dark blonde tresses with liberal salt and pepper strands.
"You wear it well."
"Thank you. But my vanity dictates that I have it concealed. Dessie's going to have a fit whenever I next find the time to go see her."
In front of them, Twiddledee successfully ordered her cafe mocha with 2 percent while Twiddledum was still agonizing over whipped cream or flavoring but not both.
"I like your highlights." The stranger spoke up again, complimenting Olivia.
"Thanks. I'll have to tell my stylist Raymond that someone else likes it besides him." Olivia self-consciously ran a thumb across the stubborn bangs to sweep them from her eyes.
"Oh?"
"It's a little too edgy for my taste…"
Their conversation was cut short as Olivia finally made it to the counter to place her order. They stood and waited for their drinks and the woman, in a bold little move of her own, extended her hand to Olivia.
"I'm Laney Whitmore."
"Olivia. Benson." The cop suavely stuttered. Olivia wondered why she was suddenly tripping over her own name.
"I figured we should exchange names now that we know each other's hairdresser."
Olivia could not help but grin widely at the charming woman. The conversation lasted until both had their orders in their hands. Finding the opportunity she had been looking for to move on with her love life after the non-kiss with Alex, Olivia walked out of the cafe with two coffees, a dozen donut holes and Laney Whitmore's phone number.
* * *
The best way to make an impression on your first date, which had already been twice rescheduled because of work, is to arrive early and bring flowers. This was exactly what Olivia did when she stood at the doorstep of Laney Whitmore's apartment.
When Laney opened the door, Olivia saw a woman who could definitely still turn heads anywhere she went. Her grey streaks, visible that day at the Daily Grind, were now brown highlights and the emerald dress she wore brought out her sea-green eyes.
A broad smile came to Olivia’s face as she presented the older woman with a bouquet of tulips.
"These are wonderful!" Laney effused. "I have just the perfect place for them."
Laney's apartment was small and stuffed with books on every surface. Olivia caught sight of several fictional murder mysteries and a few law books she had seen before in Alex's office. Sitting under a copy of the latest Linda Fairstein novel was a book titled The Mammoth Book of Roman… The rest of the title was obscured and Olivia's curiosity was piqued. The detective also scanned the titles to a few textbooks as she followed Laney into the kitchen. She watched as the slender woman reached up and brought a vase down from a cabinet.
"The flowers are for ah… being most gracious and accommodating. And for still agreeing to see me after I’ve canceled twice now," Olivia said in an effort to make amends. She threw in a genuine crooked Benson smile for added effect when Laney turned around to face her.
"I know a few other people in the force, so I understand what it's like when you're working a case."
Olivia’s face changed, pretty certain she’d never mentioned anything about the job even when she called to cancel.
It was Laney’s turn to smile. She set the vase on the counter and turned to the slightly perplexed detective. "Your detective badge was clipped to your belt the other day at the coffee place. Now, shall we?"
"Ah," was all Olivia could come back with as she led the way out the door.
The evening went by quickly and Olivia found herself enjoying Laney's company. Olivia had deftly turned the conversation over to Laney after disclosing her position with SVU. There was only so much you could talk about before it became awkward, perverted, gruesome or a combination of those.
Not with a certain ADA, a voice in Olivia’s head suddenly piped up. She ignored it and went to work on learning more about the woman sitting across from her. Laney, Olivia discovered, taught economics at Pace University and the detective seized on that.
"Any particular areas of interest?" she asked the older woman.
Laney laughed softly in an attractive contralto tone borne of age and experience.
"I've been struggling to explain what it is I do to those outside of my field. My work…" she paused, as if to give it some thought, "is about trying to understand international conflicts - war, strife, uprisings and such by using game theory to explain why people and governments do what they do in those situations."
"That would be pretty challenging to try and fit into a business card," Olivia said in mock seriousness.
"Some of us have don’t have a clear job description such as your profession affords," Laney countered. "I’ve wondered what your business cards say."
"Well, I don’t have any with me tonight but I’ll remember to bring you one the next time."
"The next time? You’re assuming I would like to see you again?" The professor smiled enigmatically at Olivia.
Olivia raised her water glass and tipped it towards the professor in a toast. She didn’t know Laney well enough to let loose a smirk so she tried her own inscrutable look. It must have worked because by the end of the evening Laney agreed have dinner with her again.
When Olivia arrived home it was well after midnight. Her machine was blinking and she listened to the messages as she hung up her coat. Alex had called twice about this, that and nothing. Olivia listened to the messages with a small smile. Alex, like most lawyers, seemed to like the sound of her own voice. Olivia had never really noticed before since she had never minded listening to Alex ramble.
A change of clothes, a quick trip to the bathroom and check of her alarm clock and she was ready for bed. After a minute she got back up and plugged her dead cellphone with the charger. A few more minutes of laying down Olivia found herself getting up again, this time to get a drink of water.
The fifth time she got out of bed Olivia sighed. Some nights she found herself restless. Tonight, her mind was racing with thoughts about Laney. Laney and Alex. It wasn’t fair, comparing the two women. Especially since she and Alex had never had that type of relationship but Olivia found herself doing it anyways.
As usual when insomnia hit Olivia pulled out her endless pile of paperwork along with her laptop. Using the couch as a backrest Olivia sat at her coffee table and began to work her way through the files. By two AM she had put a sizable dent to the pile, surfed a few websites looking for a new winter hat and scarf set and wrote e-mails to Elliot, Alex and Laney to be sent later.
When she climbed under the covers again Olivia's mind was stilled and sleep came quickly enough. Four hours later, the alarm went off blaring Eurhythmics. Olivia opened her eyes and let loose the smirk that she had kept from Laney the night before.
Sweet dreams indeed, Olivia thought to herself.
* * *