Comments | alexakaruda: Me vs. Machine

alexakaruda

Me vs. Machine

Nov 07, 2005 18:21

Sometimes, when it's late and my legs are kicking tirelessly beneath my body on the elliptical trainer, when the right song pours into my ears, when it's dark enough outside and my reflection is just faint enough to let me redraw it with my eyes, I change shape. The creaking, aching joint of my right knee is replaced by oiled titanium. Muscles ( Read more... )

Comments 6

impishlaugh November 8 2005, 00:01:37 UTC

Oh my god this is compelling ( ... )

alexakaruda November 8 2005, 19:05:56 UTC

Yeah--the thought that we're just chemical puppets is really disturbing. Then again, the next logical step in that line of thinking is that since we are unable to overcome our chemical construction, we should just make the best of things and enjoy the ride. Indulge in the thrill of holding a crush's hand, the taste of a well-made meal, the relief of a good fart. The original Matrix movie really messed with me after I first saw it because I'd always been half afraid as a child that I was really just a brain in a box in some scientists' lab, and that they were watching everything I did, laughing at my mistakes and scowling at my sins. (Of course, this came from the mind of the same child who thought that God had a video camera that recorded everything she was doing so he could confront her with it in the afterlife, so she waved at it from time to time and wondered if her dead future self would wave back.) But even if we are just chemicals, it really doesn't matter because we're trapped. So we should just enjoy a good orgasm, not ( ... )

bellefrancaise November 8 2005, 09:04:40 UTC

Hug!

alexakaruda November 8 2005, 18:14:27 UTC

Thanks for the love! (And I'm happy to see that you still read my blog.) How are you these days? Doing well, I hope.

Peace.

wash_it_out November 8 2005, 10:37:34 UTC

I agree with Jen, this was a really compelling entry. You are so smart and complicated and fascinating. I like when you lay everything out there honestly.

Best of luck with the alcohol issue... I'm not sure what to say, but I can relate, and I'm around if you need to talk. It may not be an easy thing to get under control, but I believe that you're tough enough to work through it.

alexakaruda November 8 2005, 19:15:50 UTC

You certainly know how to stroke a fellow scholar's ego! Thanks for the lovely compliments. I just think about crap like this all the time, and eventually it knocks around between my ears long enough that it turns into something more concrete ( ... )