That Creeping Feeling (The Sequel)

[alexgaratelli]

I guess as one gets older, things start to break down. Its natural one says. Lines across the face reflect the wisdom garnered through one's lifetime. The brain accumulates information and stores, processes, and archives. The body accrues irreparable damage and even goes haywire eventually

Comments

[winnett]

I hear you. I won't go into my own issues, but that whole afraid of success is a huge wall that people can hit. I hit it, too. I hit it more because I don't think I'm worthy of it, not that I think it will go away.

It isn't evil to own toys, just make sure it is something you really want/need/will last. I go on trips a lot. My money is neatly siphoned away into my trip fund. I do have retirement set up, but probably not enough. I want to travel while I still can, not to say I'll be decrepit when I'm old.

But you should build up that nest egg. Don't buy things on credit if you can avoid it. Save up for the things you want, but don't deplete your savings by getting them. 50% into fun, 50% into future.

And be happy with where you are, what you have (material and non-material), what you've accomplished. :)

[alexgaratelli]

Believe me that I'm rather proud to be where I'm at right now. I'd be even more stoked about my situation if this damn anxiety didn't keep kicking in.

Sometimes it would kick in for no apparent reason. It could be related to anything: spending money, paranoid about screwing up at work, social interactions with words said and actions done, you name it.

Also, maybe I miscommunicated. Its not about the shiny around me. Its about the lifestyle in general that I have been in for the past three years. Don't get me wrong: I'm thrilled that I made it this far.

Just ever since that car debacle where I had an outright panic attack, anxiety has been showing up more often and robbing me of my sleep due to various things.

The computer upgrades (primarily the monitor as everything else I seemed okay with) was just the most recent focus.

[alexgaratelli]

I do desire to share, yes.

[lyceria]

Actually, to maybe press a further nail on it, you could also say that you are "Afraid to Lose what you've gained

[alexgaratelli]

True that.

Rainy days can come and go, and almost certainly the floor will come out from under. Its just a matter of when and how bad.

I am prepared, and then some. I'm more than happy to share as well.

"Come on over! Let's watch something. Have you seen this? Lemme burn a disk for ya. We can make a day of it." -That sort of thing.

There's more to it than that, but that can be held in another ballsy LJ post.