WWE Smackdown, 12/25/2009, Orlando, Florida
Welcome to tonight's WWE Smackdown event from Orlando, Florida and Merry Christmas. Tonight should bring us contests between Rey Mysterio and the Undertaker and The Hart Dynasty and Degeneration X.
Excuuuuuuuuse me! Vickie Guerrero and Teddy Long frolic domestically for us in a kitchen. It's actually a very familial scene as Vickie is bumping around trying to cook and TLo is complaining vociferously. Vickie tries to imitate Paula Deen and make a cake with about seventy five sticks of butter--or maybe she just wants TLo to eat the butter like candy bars? who knows with Vickie--but TLo is having none of it, he doesn't want to have another heart attack. We end on the terrifying sight of Hornswoggle diving face first into Vickie's turkey. Thank God that's not a double entendre. You know it would have been in 1999.
On the way to the ring are R-Truth, his new best buddy Matt Hardy, the man who likes to fight, Fit Finlay and the Shaman of Sexy, John Morrison. They are challenged by CM Punk, the former Festus Luke Gallows, Dolph Ziggler and our new IC champion Drew McIntyre.
We begin with with Finlay in a standoff against Ziggler. Some brawling and then a roll up by Finlay for two. Finlay is dominating and brawling until he tags in R-Truth for "Christmas in the Hood," according to Matt Striker. Ziggler reverses momentum on Truth and tags in Punk, who is then overpowered by Truth until he tags Matt Hardy in to whale on poor Punk for a while. Oh my God,the world's most annoying DARE officer is getting the knocked goofier than a pet coon. Punk reverses momentum after a missed flying tomohawk chop for a couple of two counts right before the commercial.
We return to Hardy in a bear hug by Luke Gallows. After Hardy esapes the big man tags in Drew McIntyre. He works over Hardy with some relatively nice power moves and tags Dolph Ziggler in. Ziggler uses his speed and technical acumen to keep Hardy down, eventually trapping him in a rear chinlock and bodyscissors combination. After a little ground and pound Hardy punches his way out of the unhappy situation. He loses momentum, though, and Ziggler tags McIntyre back in. The tall, lanky McIntyre goes for a big slam but Hardy reverses it into a falling neckbreaker. Hardy gets the hot tag on JoMo at the same time McIntyre brings in CMP Punk and goes wild on Punk until he misses the chuck kick. McIntyre and Ziggler are both tagged in in rapid succession but Morrison is on fire. Finlay his the roll slam on McIntyre, CM Punk puts Finlay to sleep, R Truth shoulder block on Punk, side effect on Ziggler, straight edge clothesline by Gallows on Truth, dropkick by JoMo forces Gallows out of the ring and hits the Starship Pain on Ziggler for the pinfall. Whew! What an exciting, fast, (difficult to recap) match! I could watch JoMo, Ziggler, Punk and Gallows any time, R Truth and McIntyre are growing on me, and I've been a fan of Finlay for most of my life, and tonight didn't do anything to change my opinion. Huzzah!
Your winners: Matt Hardy, John Morrison, R Truth, Fit Finlay
We return to the ring on the Lionheart, Y2J Chris Jericho. He struts to the ring like a little bantam rooster, looking very sharp in a tailored suit and proceeds to channel Nick Bockwinkle by exgorging a thesaurus onto a massively displeased audience. Lots of paranoia and conspiracy talk, which is pretty classic Jericho. He reminds us that he is the face of Smackdown. The face of Smackdown, apparently, is fixed in a pretty permanent pout. He points out, quite truthfully, that the were never beaten in their rematch and calls out the Harts.
And here they come, lead by the real star of the trio, Natalya. She's got the mic and she's got a strut more saucy than that of Jericho himself. Jericho smarmily reminds them of his connection to Stu Hart, that he knew them when they were snot nosed kids, and calls them punks. David Hart Smith looks constipated, Nattie looks spunky and TJ Wilson looks confused. So, well, pretty much par for the course, I guess. DHS the Bullpuppy talks. Very. Stiffly. And. Slowly. Tyson talks to the turnbuckle about thirty five degrees off of Jericho, and before Jericho can say anything back, Hunter and Shawn pop up on the Titantron to shill merchandise and remind us that they are the unified tag team champions.
When it's time to exchange gifts, Hunter lampshades Jericho's rather sour little face and offers him a tickle me Big Show which expresses signifcant flatus. For the Harts, Shawn has procurred (perhaps for his own safety) a one way ticket back to Calgary. Heh. It's like we're back in 1997. Anyway, you know, if you DX guys wanted to give me a present you could send Nattie Neidhart to Atlanta International Airport. I'll drive the rest of the way to pick up the package; just make sure to punch some airholes in it.
Anyway, Jericho gets grouchy and orders the Harts to make an impact. The young Harts, much like their predecessors, just make an impact on the nearest annoyance, which happens to be Chris Jericho. After a fairly vicious looking Hart Attack, which Jericho sells brilliantly, they saunter offscreen with Nattie doing this sexy little heelish manuever with her arm and hands. Girl. Has. Star. Power. Star power like I can't believe. Anyway, what a way to lead us onto the commercial.
After the commercial we return on Mickie James, in a funky little fringed Indian princess top, gets aggravated by her middle school opposition, Michelle McCool and Layla El. I love Layla's facial expressions. Anyway, after Mickie receives a Jenny Craig gift certificate, and looking about as pissy as anyone would over this, we move on to a recap of Batista, the Undertaker and Rey Mysterio's recent history. Using Batista as a current example of chaotic evil, Mysterio as lawful good and the Undertaker as true neutral this storyline offers us an interesting look at moral polarities. Or maybe I'm reading to much into it. Anyway, these guys have been working their butts off together since October and I'm looking forward to seeing where it goes from here.
We move to the locker room to interview Rey about his chances to on beating the Undertaker. After wishing us a Merry Christmas in Spanish, Mexican Superman expresses how unlikely he is to defeat the Undertaker without a Christmas miracle.
We return from the commercial to our World Heavyweight Championship match. After both men's interminable (but very impressive, guys) entrances we begin with some psychology and movement around each other. Mysterio is choogling around like Speedy Gonzalez while the Undertaker does his stiff looking MMA thing, and the Taker's power eventually sees him into control under he misses a leg drop to the outside. The Undertaker catches Mysterio on an outside dive but doesn't on a follow up suicide dive, and that's when we go to our forty seventh commercial of the night.
We come back ot Mysterio chasing the Undertaker around and kicking him in the knees. Taker, after getting tired of this disrespect to his rickety legs, takes over with some no sell and works some power and brawling on Mysterio including a hurracanrana onto the outside reversed into a Gonso bomb hold and slam onto the guard rail. Taker rams Mysterio's head into the steps and shoots Mysterio back into the ring for more power guy stuff. Taker starts to work his submission stuff on Mysterio's arms and wrists, using good ring psychology to set him up for the hell's gate triangle choke armbar. Hmm... Taker's knees must be hurting tonight. Anyway, Taker is calling for the Last Ride, but Mysterio slips out of it for the West Coast Pop. This receives a two count and Mysterio gets him some good, quick offense until a big boot nails him in the face off a springboard moonsault. The Taker offers a huge chokeslam, but before he can pin Mysterio Batista hits the ring. Undertaker eats a spinebuster, but reverses the Batista Bomb. Mysterio goes for a 619, but when the Undertaker reverses for a chokeslam Batista spears the Dead Man like he was nothing but a big ol' black basketball. Before it can go any further Mysterio hits his West Coast Pop on Batista and scuttles out of the ring towards parts unknown as fast as his little legs can carry him.
YOUR WINNER: Rey Mysterio by DQ.
We return on a recap of the previous match's chaos. It doesn't really help me recap it because the spinebusters and pops and chokeslams are coming so fast and furious that it's more like a big tan and black blur in the ring. Our third Tribute to the Troops recap this week focuses on R Truth as a non-traditional Santa. His present to the US Army, which consists of Layla El, Kelly Kelly and the Bellas, makes him rather understandably popular.
We return to the studio with Cryme Tyme and Jesse, dressed as Santa. After a random attack on Slam Master J, my least favorite tag raps their way to the ring after having stolen Santa's bag. They're fighting the pair of Bryce Andrews and Somebody Buck. This match doesn't look like it's going to be terribly exciting, so I think I'll finish my cheesecake. The two FCW guys look good, though. Got some good agility and reasonable strength, but they're just being fed to Cryme Tyme here to get some TV time, so there's not much fun in recapping it. Of course, Cryme Tyme doesn't get to win very much, so I suppose it's only fair that they get the pinfall here.
YOUR WINNER: Cryme Tyme
Excuuuuuuuuse me! We return to the kitchen with Vickie and TLo, arguing over Hornswoggle's earlier attack. Vickie and TLo continue to argue over whether apple pie is Mexican or American. We tease a Mexican stand off wit hthe pies, but as things can never end well for Vickie Guerrero, Hornswoggle nails her with the pie. I heart Vickie Guererro so much; not every woman can wear pie and make it classy. So, apparently, can my favorite elderly black man TLo. Hornswoggle doesn't wear the eggnog quite so elegantly, but the little guy looks like he's having a great time so who am I to complain?
We return to the announce table with Michelle McCool and Matt Striker flirting and insulting Mickie James, who will be competing with Maria in a tag match against the sultry Layla El and the amazing Glamazon Beth Phoenix. Grr, Michelle, Layla is Moroccan, not Latin. I guess that it's easy to get confused, since there's only an ocean between Latin America and Morocco. Michelle heaps praise upon Beth, Matt heaps praise upon Michelle, Todd tries to change the subject. Nice move, Grisham. Maria starts with a big push, hip throw and drop kick on Layla. Into the turnbuckle Layla goes, but manages to change the... okay, can't call it for a moment, distracted by Layla's bottom. Those little shorts oughta be classified as a weapon of mass destruction. Anyway, okay, back. Maria just took a vicious senton drop from the second rope off of Beth, but Layla tags herself back in to smash Maria with a vicious low dropkick and tasty looking dragon sleeper/wristlock thing. Missed ledgrop by Layla and now Mickie is in the ring going absolutely nuts on the lovely Layla El. Mickie throws the Mick Kick onto both Phoenix and Layla for the pinfall. Now Mickie is chasing Michelle around the announce table. Michelle is running like a scalded dog, but Beth Phoenix (displeased at being randomly Mick Kicked, I guess) is wiping out everyone at ringside, leaving only Michelle McCool standing. Michelle wants to express her girl-crush on Beth, but Beth is having none of it and Michelle, perhaps wisely, doesn't press the issue. This was a nice match, more about storyline than wrestling, but hearing Michelle's lovely voice on commentary made me happy. I pick on Michelle McCool a lot but she is a lovely girl with beautiful eyes who has overcome an eating disorder to get where she is now, so it's nice to see her developing a good, villainous personality. Mickie James is always fun to watch--the girl bounces around like a pinball loose in an arcade--and Maria and Layla are good, solid journey(wo)men, especially Layla. Layla could have a nice, long career based on her in ring skill alone and Beth Phoenix is, quite simply, the most physically impressive woman I have ever seen.
YOUR WINNER: Beth Phoenix and Layla El
Of course, I think that in matches like this we really all are winners.
Here comes DX. The boys in black and green get a decent pop, like they always do, and look ready for their battle against the Harts. We'll be back to action after the commercial break!
We're back from the commercial break on a recap of Monday Night's Little People's Court segment. This proves to me two things. 1.) Shawn and Hunter have no shame. Well, I've known this since 1997. 2.) Shawn and Hunter are writing segments exclusively for their children. The ultimate expression of the bedtime story? I think it might be.
Here come the Harts, lead to the ring by Nattie and wow can Nattie move. If anyone doesn't get that she's the most impressive member of the Hart Dynasty I'd honestly like to see their credentials as an intelligent human being. Anyway, we start with Tyson Kid and Shawn Michaels in the ring. TJ starts with a headlock and we move into a rapid exchange of technical holds until Shawn tags Hunter in. He does a thirty second vertical suplex on TJ, in a nice callback to the original British Bulldog Davey Boy Smith, and continues working his tight, old school power moves on TJ. DHS get into the ring, after laying a sneaky big boot upside Hunter's head, and the two big men are getting ready to have what promises to be an exciting power contest after the commercial break.
We have had a lot of commercial breaks tonight.
We come back with TJ and DHS double teaming Hunter in the corner. Davey Jr. hits an even longer standing vertical suplex than Hunter did earlier, and now he's taking some truly vicious looking knuckle shots in the head from the Bullpuppy. DHS and Nattie are distracting the referee so that TJ can choke the Game in the corner. The Game is a tough one, though, and hits a huge clothesline on TJ after the tag. Hot tag to HBK. He and TJ work some really fast paced brawling that's so smooth that it actually looks technical. Shawn goes upstairs. DHS tries to throw him down, but Shawn hits a boot to push him away. Shawn misses anyway and TJ hits a huge springboard blockbuster and tags DHS in. The Bullpuppy works a massive hammer toss on Shawn which puts him on the floor, and DHS drives Shawn into the ring apron twice on his injured back. As he's trying to crawl back into the ring, HBK takes a nasty Anvilette slap to the face and falls victim to a drop toe hold and dropkick combo. TJ is back in the ring, working a nasty looking chinlock on HBK. The veteran is working his way out but eats a big spinning heel kick for two. DHS does another full minute hanging vertical suplex on HBK for two and locks him into a chinlock/half nelson combo. It looks rough but Shawn is managing to work his way out with some punches and a few Flair chops. Missed clothesline, though, and DHS drives HBK into the mat with an enormous belly to back suplex. DHS tags TJ back in and they drive Shawn into the turnbuckle. TJ has Shawn in a front chancery, keeping him away from the Game. Now both men are flat on the floor. TJ is outside of the ring. Nattie is trying to exhort him, get up before he makes the tag, get up before he makes the tag! TJ is up, he goes for the springboard legdrop, but Michaels reverses it into a Manhattan Drop and gets the tag. Both big men are in the ring, working on each other. Harley Race flying knee! Spinebuster for a two count, spinebuster on Tyson Kid, the Game is going crazy. Pedigree on DHS reversed into a Hart Attack but Shawny makes the save. TJ misses a suicide dive and it takes both members of DX to reverse DHS' running powerslam and both of their finishing moves to pin the big man. This was an amazing match which showcased the Harts as a fantastic tag team with lots of psychology, skill and power and does a good job of building the Harts as a legitimate threat and future main eventers or upper mid-carders at the least. Although the Harts did not win tonight, per se, DX did their darndest to put the Harts over and make them look dangerous. I am anticipating a long, exciting feud between these two teams, with so much history between them dating back a generation, and believe that the Harts will pull out the final victory for the tag team belts, maybe on TV and maybe on Pay Per View. The important thing however, and we should all remember this, is that if the Harts spend more time on my TV, Nattie spends more time on my TV, and I can't see a downside to that.
YOUR WINNERS: Degeneration X
Excuuuuuuuuse me! Vickie Guerrero and Teddy Long frolic domestically for us in a kitchen. It's actually a very familial scene as Vickie is bumping around trying to cook and TLo is complaining vociferously. Vickie tries to imitate Paula Deen and make a cake with about seventy five sticks of butter--or maybe she just wants TLo to eat the butter like candy bars? who knows with Vickie--but TLo is having none of it, he doesn't want to have another heart attack. We end on the terrifying sight of Hornswoggle diving face first into Vickie's turkey. Thank God that's not a double entendre. You know it would have been in 1999.
On the way to the ring are R-Truth, his new best buddy Matt Hardy, the man who likes to fight, Fit Finlay and the Shaman of Sexy, John Morrison. They are challenged by CM Punk, the former Festus Luke Gallows, Dolph Ziggler and our new IC champion Drew McIntyre.
We begin with with Finlay in a standoff against Ziggler. Some brawling and then a roll up by Finlay for two. Finlay is dominating and brawling until he tags in R-Truth for "Christmas in the Hood," according to Matt Striker. Ziggler reverses momentum on Truth and tags in Punk, who is then overpowered by Truth until he tags Matt Hardy in to whale on poor Punk for a while. Oh my God,the world's most annoying DARE officer is getting the knocked goofier than a pet coon. Punk reverses momentum after a missed flying tomohawk chop for a couple of two counts right before the commercial.
We return to Hardy in a bear hug by Luke Gallows. After Hardy esapes the big man tags in Drew McIntyre. He works over Hardy with some relatively nice power moves and tags Dolph Ziggler in. Ziggler uses his speed and technical acumen to keep Hardy down, eventually trapping him in a rear chinlock and bodyscissors combination. After a little ground and pound Hardy punches his way out of the unhappy situation. He loses momentum, though, and Ziggler tags McIntyre back in. The tall, lanky McIntyre goes for a big slam but Hardy reverses it into a falling neckbreaker. Hardy gets the hot tag on JoMo at the same time McIntyre brings in CMP Punk and goes wild on Punk until he misses the chuck kick. McIntyre and Ziggler are both tagged in in rapid succession but Morrison is on fire. Finlay his the roll slam on McIntyre, CM Punk puts Finlay to sleep, R Truth shoulder block on Punk, side effect on Ziggler, straight edge clothesline by Gallows on Truth, dropkick by JoMo forces Gallows out of the ring and hits the Starship Pain on Ziggler for the pinfall. Whew! What an exciting, fast, (difficult to recap) match! I could watch JoMo, Ziggler, Punk and Gallows any time, R Truth and McIntyre are growing on me, and I've been a fan of Finlay for most of my life, and tonight didn't do anything to change my opinion. Huzzah!
Your winners: Matt Hardy, John Morrison, R Truth, Fit Finlay
We return to the ring on the Lionheart, Y2J Chris Jericho. He struts to the ring like a little bantam rooster, looking very sharp in a tailored suit and proceeds to channel Nick Bockwinkle by exgorging a thesaurus onto a massively displeased audience. Lots of paranoia and conspiracy talk, which is pretty classic Jericho. He reminds us that he is the face of Smackdown. The face of Smackdown, apparently, is fixed in a pretty permanent pout. He points out, quite truthfully, that the were never beaten in their rematch and calls out the Harts.
And here they come, lead by the real star of the trio, Natalya. She's got the mic and she's got a strut more saucy than that of Jericho himself. Jericho smarmily reminds them of his connection to Stu Hart, that he knew them when they were snot nosed kids, and calls them punks. David Hart Smith looks constipated, Nattie looks spunky and TJ Wilson looks confused. So, well, pretty much par for the course, I guess. DHS the Bullpuppy talks. Very. Stiffly. And. Slowly. Tyson talks to the turnbuckle about thirty five degrees off of Jericho, and before Jericho can say anything back, Hunter and Shawn pop up on the Titantron to shill merchandise and remind us that they are the unified tag team champions.
When it's time to exchange gifts, Hunter lampshades Jericho's rather sour little face and offers him a tickle me Big Show which expresses signifcant flatus. For the Harts, Shawn has procurred (perhaps for his own safety) a one way ticket back to Calgary. Heh. It's like we're back in 1997. Anyway, you know, if you DX guys wanted to give me a present you could send Nattie Neidhart to Atlanta International Airport. I'll drive the rest of the way to pick up the package; just make sure to punch some airholes in it.
Anyway, Jericho gets grouchy and orders the Harts to make an impact. The young Harts, much like their predecessors, just make an impact on the nearest annoyance, which happens to be Chris Jericho. After a fairly vicious looking Hart Attack, which Jericho sells brilliantly, they saunter offscreen with Nattie doing this sexy little heelish manuever with her arm and hands. Girl. Has. Star. Power. Star power like I can't believe. Anyway, what a way to lead us onto the commercial.
After the commercial we return on Mickie James, in a funky little fringed Indian princess top, gets aggravated by her middle school opposition, Michelle McCool and Layla El. I love Layla's facial expressions. Anyway, after Mickie receives a Jenny Craig gift certificate, and looking about as pissy as anyone would over this, we move on to a recap of Batista, the Undertaker and Rey Mysterio's recent history. Using Batista as a current example of chaotic evil, Mysterio as lawful good and the Undertaker as true neutral this storyline offers us an interesting look at moral polarities. Or maybe I'm reading to much into it. Anyway, these guys have been working their butts off together since October and I'm looking forward to seeing where it goes from here.
We move to the locker room to interview Rey about his chances to on beating the Undertaker. After wishing us a Merry Christmas in Spanish, Mexican Superman expresses how unlikely he is to defeat the Undertaker without a Christmas miracle.
We return from the commercial to our World Heavyweight Championship match. After both men's interminable (but very impressive, guys) entrances we begin with some psychology and movement around each other. Mysterio is choogling around like Speedy Gonzalez while the Undertaker does his stiff looking MMA thing, and the Taker's power eventually sees him into control under he misses a leg drop to the outside. The Undertaker catches Mysterio on an outside dive but doesn't on a follow up suicide dive, and that's when we go to our forty seventh commercial of the night.
We come back ot Mysterio chasing the Undertaker around and kicking him in the knees. Taker, after getting tired of this disrespect to his rickety legs, takes over with some no sell and works some power and brawling on Mysterio including a hurracanrana onto the outside reversed into a Gonso bomb hold and slam onto the guard rail. Taker rams Mysterio's head into the steps and shoots Mysterio back into the ring for more power guy stuff. Taker starts to work his submission stuff on Mysterio's arms and wrists, using good ring psychology to set him up for the hell's gate triangle choke armbar. Hmm... Taker's knees must be hurting tonight. Anyway, Taker is calling for the Last Ride, but Mysterio slips out of it for the West Coast Pop. This receives a two count and Mysterio gets him some good, quick offense until a big boot nails him in the face off a springboard moonsault. The Taker offers a huge chokeslam, but before he can pin Mysterio Batista hits the ring. Undertaker eats a spinebuster, but reverses the Batista Bomb. Mysterio goes for a 619, but when the Undertaker reverses for a chokeslam Batista spears the Dead Man like he was nothing but a big ol' black basketball. Before it can go any further Mysterio hits his West Coast Pop on Batista and scuttles out of the ring towards parts unknown as fast as his little legs can carry him.
YOUR WINNER: Rey Mysterio by DQ.
We return on a recap of the previous match's chaos. It doesn't really help me recap it because the spinebusters and pops and chokeslams are coming so fast and furious that it's more like a big tan and black blur in the ring. Our third Tribute to the Troops recap this week focuses on R Truth as a non-traditional Santa. His present to the US Army, which consists of Layla El, Kelly Kelly and the Bellas, makes him rather understandably popular.
We return to the studio with Cryme Tyme and Jesse, dressed as Santa. After a random attack on Slam Master J, my least favorite tag raps their way to the ring after having stolen Santa's bag. They're fighting the pair of Bryce Andrews and Somebody Buck. This match doesn't look like it's going to be terribly exciting, so I think I'll finish my cheesecake. The two FCW guys look good, though. Got some good agility and reasonable strength, but they're just being fed to Cryme Tyme here to get some TV time, so there's not much fun in recapping it. Of course, Cryme Tyme doesn't get to win very much, so I suppose it's only fair that they get the pinfall here.
YOUR WINNER: Cryme Tyme
Excuuuuuuuuse me! We return to the kitchen with Vickie and TLo, arguing over Hornswoggle's earlier attack. Vickie and TLo continue to argue over whether apple pie is Mexican or American. We tease a Mexican stand off wit hthe pies, but as things can never end well for Vickie Guerrero, Hornswoggle nails her with the pie. I heart Vickie Guererro so much; not every woman can wear pie and make it classy. So, apparently, can my favorite elderly black man TLo. Hornswoggle doesn't wear the eggnog quite so elegantly, but the little guy looks like he's having a great time so who am I to complain?
We return to the announce table with Michelle McCool and Matt Striker flirting and insulting Mickie James, who will be competing with Maria in a tag match against the sultry Layla El and the amazing Glamazon Beth Phoenix. Grr, Michelle, Layla is Moroccan, not Latin. I guess that it's easy to get confused, since there's only an ocean between Latin America and Morocco. Michelle heaps praise upon Beth, Matt heaps praise upon Michelle, Todd tries to change the subject. Nice move, Grisham. Maria starts with a big push, hip throw and drop kick on Layla. Into the turnbuckle Layla goes, but manages to change the... okay, can't call it for a moment, distracted by Layla's bottom. Those little shorts oughta be classified as a weapon of mass destruction. Anyway, okay, back. Maria just took a vicious senton drop from the second rope off of Beth, but Layla tags herself back in to smash Maria with a vicious low dropkick and tasty looking dragon sleeper/wristlock thing. Missed ledgrop by Layla and now Mickie is in the ring going absolutely nuts on the lovely Layla El. Mickie throws the Mick Kick onto both Phoenix and Layla for the pinfall. Now Mickie is chasing Michelle around the announce table. Michelle is running like a scalded dog, but Beth Phoenix (displeased at being randomly Mick Kicked, I guess) is wiping out everyone at ringside, leaving only Michelle McCool standing. Michelle wants to express her girl-crush on Beth, but Beth is having none of it and Michelle, perhaps wisely, doesn't press the issue. This was a nice match, more about storyline than wrestling, but hearing Michelle's lovely voice on commentary made me happy. I pick on Michelle McCool a lot but she is a lovely girl with beautiful eyes who has overcome an eating disorder to get where she is now, so it's nice to see her developing a good, villainous personality. Mickie James is always fun to watch--the girl bounces around like a pinball loose in an arcade--and Maria and Layla are good, solid journey(wo)men, especially Layla. Layla could have a nice, long career based on her in ring skill alone and Beth Phoenix is, quite simply, the most physically impressive woman I have ever seen.
YOUR WINNER: Beth Phoenix and Layla El
Of course, I think that in matches like this we really all are winners.
Here comes DX. The boys in black and green get a decent pop, like they always do, and look ready for their battle against the Harts. We'll be back to action after the commercial break!
We're back from the commercial break on a recap of Monday Night's Little People's Court segment. This proves to me two things. 1.) Shawn and Hunter have no shame. Well, I've known this since 1997. 2.) Shawn and Hunter are writing segments exclusively for their children. The ultimate expression of the bedtime story? I think it might be.
Here come the Harts, lead to the ring by Nattie and wow can Nattie move. If anyone doesn't get that she's the most impressive member of the Hart Dynasty I'd honestly like to see their credentials as an intelligent human being. Anyway, we start with Tyson Kid and Shawn Michaels in the ring. TJ starts with a headlock and we move into a rapid exchange of technical holds until Shawn tags Hunter in. He does a thirty second vertical suplex on TJ, in a nice callback to the original British Bulldog Davey Boy Smith, and continues working his tight, old school power moves on TJ. DHS get into the ring, after laying a sneaky big boot upside Hunter's head, and the two big men are getting ready to have what promises to be an exciting power contest after the commercial break.
We have had a lot of commercial breaks tonight.
We come back with TJ and DHS double teaming Hunter in the corner. Davey Jr. hits an even longer standing vertical suplex than Hunter did earlier, and now he's taking some truly vicious looking knuckle shots in the head from the Bullpuppy. DHS and Nattie are distracting the referee so that TJ can choke the Game in the corner. The Game is a tough one, though, and hits a huge clothesline on TJ after the tag. Hot tag to HBK. He and TJ work some really fast paced brawling that's so smooth that it actually looks technical. Shawn goes upstairs. DHS tries to throw him down, but Shawn hits a boot to push him away. Shawn misses anyway and TJ hits a huge springboard blockbuster and tags DHS in. The Bullpuppy works a massive hammer toss on Shawn which puts him on the floor, and DHS drives Shawn into the ring apron twice on his injured back. As he's trying to crawl back into the ring, HBK takes a nasty Anvilette slap to the face and falls victim to a drop toe hold and dropkick combo. TJ is back in the ring, working a nasty looking chinlock on HBK. The veteran is working his way out but eats a big spinning heel kick for two. DHS does another full minute hanging vertical suplex on HBK for two and locks him into a chinlock/half nelson combo. It looks rough but Shawn is managing to work his way out with some punches and a few Flair chops. Missed clothesline, though, and DHS drives HBK into the mat with an enormous belly to back suplex. DHS tags TJ back in and they drive Shawn into the turnbuckle. TJ has Shawn in a front chancery, keeping him away from the Game. Now both men are flat on the floor. TJ is outside of the ring. Nattie is trying to exhort him, get up before he makes the tag, get up before he makes the tag! TJ is up, he goes for the springboard legdrop, but Michaels reverses it into a Manhattan Drop and gets the tag. Both big men are in the ring, working on each other. Harley Race flying knee! Spinebuster for a two count, spinebuster on Tyson Kid, the Game is going crazy. Pedigree on DHS reversed into a Hart Attack but Shawny makes the save. TJ misses a suicide dive and it takes both members of DX to reverse DHS' running powerslam and both of their finishing moves to pin the big man. This was an amazing match which showcased the Harts as a fantastic tag team with lots of psychology, skill and power and does a good job of building the Harts as a legitimate threat and future main eventers or upper mid-carders at the least. Although the Harts did not win tonight, per se, DX did their darndest to put the Harts over and make them look dangerous. I am anticipating a long, exciting feud between these two teams, with so much history between them dating back a generation, and believe that the Harts will pull out the final victory for the tag team belts, maybe on TV and maybe on Pay Per View. The important thing however, and we should all remember this, is that if the Harts spend more time on my TV, Nattie spends more time on my TV, and I can't see a downside to that.
YOUR WINNERS: Degeneration X