now swing that blade above me, show me how close you can get it

[alexistheghost]

i need to come to certain realizations that i'm not sure i am ready to admit on the internet yet. but ready or not, here they are.

- i am not pretty anymore
- i am not skinny anymore
- my alcoholism has broken barriers
- my dad has described me as being 'neurotic' more than once
- i do not have a boyfriend and i have no real potentials. the only

Comments

[ampersandparade]

Owing people money, especially a close friend, is the worst feeling in the whole world. Once I thought about driving off a bridge- BECAUSE of that singular thing.

Ditto on 90% of your thoughts. Esp. the third and eighth items.

[alexistheghost]

yeah, i am seriously considering it. it's very large sums, too. one is 210 and the other is 130. the 130 needs to be paid TODAY and i have absolutely no money at all.

[mixtaped]

consider eating really healthy and exercising and you'll probably feel a lot better about yourself.

you need to take better care of your body.

[alexistheghost]

i do exercise, and have been for the past three or four months. i even have a super secret fitness journal. also, i really dont eat that much.
i just dont eat good things.

[mixtaped]

hence the "eating really healthy" part of my comment.

[alexistheghost]

yeah. i'm thinking about going veeeegan.

[augmented]

Acceptance. Right on. Now promote the change.

ps vegan is the thumbs up. nix the negative of neurotic and pretty. define yourself and appreciate your skin.

[alexistheghost]

my skin? that's the only good thing about me - scotch-french = perfect freckly complexion, no blemishes

rock and roll.

[ensus]

the only good thing? bah. my skin reference was to regarding yourself as not pretty, for what reasons you find.