warning
this is a vent for myself, if you read this you'll most likely be
offended and may even grow a hate for me. which isn't the point of
this i've just been thinking too much and i need to let it out and not
to just to myself.
ok in short i hate it here. i don't want to be here, Edison, New Jersey, any of it. This place gets me so frustrated, so upset, so angry and makes me feel so alone. i just want to drop everything and leave. just say screw everyone of you, with the exception of a few people, pack my crap up and just leave. never be back. deep down inside i think i hate almost everyone here. almost. college has made me realize who my real friends are. they are the ones that im me out of the blue to say hi and to see what's up, those are mark, keljel, sarah of course but i live with her and kevvy oh and for the most part lora. that's it. that's all. quite an extensive list huh? but even when i'm in nj doing things they don't really bother to call to do something. i leave away messages up saying i'm in jersey for the weekend and to call if anyone wants to do anything but to no avail. it makes me wonder. a lot. i can't stand it. i just. want. to. stop. thinking. sometimes. it gets me so aggrivated and depressed. i'm home for the vacation.. and i think i hung out 3 times. i fuckign whopping 3 times. one with lora and derek, another with keljel and eri and christmas eve with eri, but she left early cause she didn't want to be out late she was tired. but no she really wanted to hang out with gareth. she could have jst fucking told me i wasn't good enough for her to spend xmas eve with. fuck that. fuck it all. I know her and gareth are close but he lives 2 miles away and seems to be there almost everyother night. me i'm usually 65 miles away and when i'm here for a week she rather leave my company early to go hang out with gareth. even when she was over she was txting him. i knew she was leaving me for him, i knew it. maybe i should just say screw new years stay home and just get wasted by myself.
i hate being the person i am i just feel like i can't be happy in edison. it was good for awhile then everyone changed. or maybe i just changed. either way i can't wait to leave.. it won't be too much different it's not like people talk to me when i'm around anyway. i'll just be further away. and my parents will soon move, most likely to the midwest somewhere. yeah the midwest. i can pretty much rid of edison forever and most likely nj. and right now in my life... that would be amazing. absolutely amazing.
and right now at this moment i can't fucking wait
ok in short i hate it here. i don't want to be here, Edison, New Jersey, any of it. This place gets me so frustrated, so upset, so angry and makes me feel so alone. i just want to drop everything and leave. just say screw everyone of you, with the exception of a few people, pack my crap up and just leave. never be back. deep down inside i think i hate almost everyone here. almost. college has made me realize who my real friends are. they are the ones that im me out of the blue to say hi and to see what's up, those are mark, keljel, sarah of course but i live with her and kevvy oh and for the most part lora. that's it. that's all. quite an extensive list huh? but even when i'm in nj doing things they don't really bother to call to do something. i leave away messages up saying i'm in jersey for the weekend and to call if anyone wants to do anything but to no avail. it makes me wonder. a lot. i can't stand it. i just. want. to. stop. thinking. sometimes. it gets me so aggrivated and depressed. i'm home for the vacation.. and i think i hung out 3 times. i fuckign whopping 3 times. one with lora and derek, another with keljel and eri and christmas eve with eri, but she left early cause she didn't want to be out late she was tired. but no she really wanted to hang out with gareth. she could have jst fucking told me i wasn't good enough for her to spend xmas eve with. fuck that. fuck it all. I know her and gareth are close but he lives 2 miles away and seems to be there almost everyother night. me i'm usually 65 miles away and when i'm here for a week she rather leave my company early to go hang out with gareth. even when she was over she was txting him. i knew she was leaving me for him, i knew it. maybe i should just say screw new years stay home and just get wasted by myself.
i hate being the person i am i just feel like i can't be happy in edison. it was good for awhile then everyone changed. or maybe i just changed. either way i can't wait to leave.. it won't be too much different it's not like people talk to me when i'm around anyway. i'll just be further away. and my parents will soon move, most likely to the midwest somewhere. yeah the midwest. i can pretty much rid of edison forever and most likely nj. and right now in my life... that would be amazing. absolutely amazing.
and right now at this moment i can't fucking wait