from the wrinkles on my forehead to the mud upon my shoe everything's a memory with strings that tie to you in my dream I'm often running to the place that's out of view of every kind of memory with strings that tie to you and though a change has taken place and ( Read more... )

So tell me why I can still remember exactly how it felt to stand in his house and look in the mirror and wonder what he'd say to me today, if anything. And how I can remember just what everything there looks like and when I think about it, why I still feel a little sick inside when I think of all that happened next ( Read more... )

I just want someone to sit me down and tell me everything, so I'm not confused anymore.

Maybe it's the big, stripped empty house, or that the boys are on a plane back to England, or that Mother's day is a week away (and I'm hearing it everywhere), or that I'm completely exhausted, or maybe lots of other little things I'm having trouble working out my head. I'm just feeling lonely, that's all.

I was shocked, relieved, interested, hopeful, disappointed, surprised, confused, confused, confused, regretful, confused, interested, charmed, embarassed, elated, exhausted, excited, happy, excited, annoyed, placated, stressed out, and then content. In that order.

Me: See though, I think one of the best things is that Sandra is always going to be alive to us. I mean, she's going to die someday but we won't know it, we'll always remember her as who she was to us one day in Venice. And even her family won't ever know that. There could be someone in the world somewhere who remembers my mom for something I'll ( Read more... )

The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you in my arms
When I awoke, dear, I was mistaken
And I hung my head and cried

"No, get off of me," I said, "I don't want to be pinned down."
He laughed, "Physically or metaphorically?"

He knew too much!

And somewhere during the 15 hour bus ride from San Francisco to Portland I think I became aware of where I was and what was going on. It also hit me then that none of this feels strange anymore. Buying a plane ticket, flying across the country, leaving my home, moving in with someone I don't really know, rapidly losing touch with my closest friends ( Read more... )

I want to blot out all of these memories.