Don't Tease Me Because I'm Mistaken
A/N: ALAS!!!!!!!! A long awaited update from yours truly. I've worked duly and diligently on this. (I also hope it's apparent I've improved in some aspects of writing, if not, I take all criticism as rationally as possible.) I've been gone for school by the way; I'm trying to hit honor roll and achieve straight A's, but with all this homework, it's harder than I thought it'd be, especially when I'm trying to juggle my art, reading, writing, and school. Also, my beta is now a full-time college student, but I've tried reviewing it myself and if there are any blatant errors, please don't hesitate to point those out either. There will be more chapter after this. Now adieu, enjoy, au revoir.
Chapter 3: Don’t Tease Me Because I’m Mistaken
Tiffany leaned forward, staring down at a sheet in front of her and reviewing the lyrics and notes to a song
It was already sunset by the time she finished writing and there was a slight autumn breeze chilling her body, but she was too absorbed in what she was doing to notice the temperature change.
She sat on the concrete pathway by the park, the paper on the bench and her pencil stuck between her teeth in agitation.
Over and over again, Tiffany read the lyrics she had just produced. The words seemed to mock her as they relayed her feelings in physical form
They weren’t bad feelings, but they weren’t good either
She wrote a love song.
In her defense, it isn’t really a song about being in love, but a song about possible attachment and hurt feelings. In fact, perhaps it should be considered an unloved song.
Tiffany reassured herself of the fact it wasn’t really a love song and she shouldn’t be disturbed by it. She was only human and she had feelings too; if only Jessica would realize that
The woman stared a little longer at the page in front of her. A title was emphatically missing
She released the pencil from between her teeth and scratched her last few words on the paper
Ignorant Girl
It wasn’t a very creative title, but it summed up everything behind the song. From Jessica’s shallow views to the way the child’s hate-filled words hurt her.
With a long, heavy sigh, Tiffany stared at the sheet.
Why was Jessica such a problem for her? The child reminds her of when she was in high school; however, Tiffany was much cooler. She was a lone wolf with a flute for a best friend
She used to look down on the stoner kids going no where with their lives. People looked up to her and admired her from afar because she always seemed more than fine on her own
No one ever really tried being friends with her either; Tiffany hypothesized they’re all just intimidated and insecure; maybe if she tried to be more open she’d have more friends.
But in the end, she never could really open up and not many friends came. She tried sitting on her loneliness, never letting it get to her, but it did
She was an ignorant child with scholarly grades, and a child without parents
Tiffany felt her pockets for a cigarette. She needed something to calm her down from the past emotions resurfacing.
Finding the small cigarette box, she plucked a stick and lit it up.
Taking a long drag of smoke, Tiffany relaxed. She looked up at the sky and noticed it was already dark out.
Standing up, Tiffany grabbed the paper and folded it before putting it in her pocket. She’ll copy it onto her laptop when she gets home.
She stretched her tired and pained limbs from sitting on the ground for too long and with a few cracks and pops, Tiffany left out another sigh, but a refreshed one.
She started walking back to her car and got in before starting the engine. She sets the car in drive and pulls off the curb, taking the same route she came to go back home.
As she passes their club house again she notices that place is strangely deserted. Possibly due to the absence of Jay and the main heads to lead a game of some sort, but something felt off.
Tiffany glanced at her dashboard, noticing it was only eight o’clock. Should she go check on everything?
The image of Jessica waiting at home had Tiffany turning a blind eye and continuing her drive. She can check on things later.
During her drive, Tiffany reminisced. After she dropped out of school, that place used to be her home until she started her drug dealing career. Daesung was her only partner back then and he really helped her out.
They had their amateur adventures and escapades; it was fun in the beginning, until things started getting more serious.
Drugs worse than marijuana and ecstasy started coming in; soon they were dealing stuff from rohypnol to meth.
In faith, they never really touched the hardcore drugs knowing very well what it could do to them and the people around them.
One slip and it could cost them everything they’ve worked for, or at least cheated for
The gang was full of burnouts, kids unaccepted by or without families but still trying to live off of what they can. Some of the kids used to be honor students like her, but circumstances have no limits.
She had to admit, though, despite everyone’s story usually being a tragedy, she felt more for Jay and Jessica’s circumstance. The three had a lot in common, but Tiffany doesn’t see herself revealing much to Jessica anytime soon and it’s not like Jay would tell anything to Jessica either
Finally arriving home, Tiffany trudged her way into the building and up the stairs to her floor.
When she opened the door to her apartment, she noticed everything was already turned off and the door to her bedroom was closed.
Jessica must have already gone to bed; and it’s just a little past eight
Tiffany sighed again and kicked off her shoes. She made her way to the bedroom and quietly opened the door before peaking in.
Jessica was curled up under the sheets and hugging a pillow. Her relaxed state put Tiffany in slight ease. She and the younger girl can speak tomorrow after a goodnight’s rest.
Tiffany stepped in and slipped off her jacket. She started collecting her pajamas and a towel before heading for the bathroom.
*
When Tiffany woke up the next morning, she was expecting her sides to be sweaty and her thin limbs to be in a tangled mess with thinner limbs.
But there was no heat; in fact, it was actually quite chilly under the covers alone. Her limbs were sprawled out across the bed and her pajamas were twisted around her body. Nothing even signified that there was supposed to be or even used to be someone else in the bed.
Slowly, Tiffany pushed herself up on her elbows. She looked around, looking for a sign of Jessica, but there was none. Adrenaline started to kick in as she started thinking up worst case scenarios.
Throwing off the covers, Tiffany eased out of bed and quickly, but quietly, exited the bedroom. She could smell bacon in the air and her steps paused before they continued creeping forward
Jessica was cooking.
Silently, Tiffany stalked over to the kitchen and stopped behind the wall. Cautiously, she peaked around the corner and saw Jessica standing by the stove, frying pan in hand. The rice cooker’s orange light for “warm” was on and everything was almost ready, but thick strips of bacon were still on the pan.
Tiffany straightened herself up against the wall. She went through different options of approaching the younger girl; the main one she was leaning towards was walking in casually and wrapping her arms around the younger girl from behind whether to tease her or not, the contact would be comforting.
A few clicks and clanks suddenly erupted from the kitchen. Tiffany immediately looked back into the kitchen to see Jessica finishing up and putting the last strips of bacon on a plate.
Without anymore hesitation, Tiffany took long strides up to Jessica’s back and wrapped her arms around her
Suddenly she felt her heart pick up pace, but duly ignored it for the sake of the moment.
“Was it always your dream to be a house wife?” Tiffany smirked as she felt Jessica’s whole body tense in her arms.
She awaited a reply, but received none. Tiffany suddenly became anxious and pulled to the side to get a look at Jessica’s face, but the girl’s long brown hair was in the way.
An awkward atmosphere suddenly fell upon them and Tiffany slowly released the girl.
nbsp; “So-”
“I’m sorry!” Jessica shouted towards the stove
Tiffany flinched at the sudden outburst, for a second she actually thought Jessica must’ve been talking to the stove until the younger girl shifted almost mechanically. Jessica’s hair was covering most of her face and her whole body posture was laughable, but Tiffany held her breath and waited curiously.
Jessica timidly looked up to meet Tiffany’s eyes and there seemed to be a glint in them. She immediately looked back down, she felt so embarrassed she could die.
“I’m sorry for being rude yesterday.” Her voice was trembling and her hands gripped to her shirt to keep them from shaking.
Tiffany bit her bottom lip, she wanted to laugh until she cried, but that would ruin the moment
“It’s okay.” A blush suddenly flared onto Tiffany’s cheeks. Suddenly secondhand embarrassment caught up with her
The woman couldn’t stand the overwhelming feeling of flutters and twists in her stomach and glanced at Jessica who looked about ready to cry. The girl was still engulfed in her own embarrassment
Tiffany immediately pulled up her shirt to cover her face and scoffed.
“God! Why are you so embarrassing?!”
Jessica deeply frowned as she looked up at Tiffany with teary eyes. The older woman peeked out from her shirt to see Jessica’s reaction and instantly regretted even daring to glance.
“Stop it! Stop!” Tiffany unleashed a groan. “I can’t handle this so early in the morning.”
Not wanting to show her weak face to the little girl, but wanting to settle this nicely, Tiffany kept one hand holding her shirt to stay covering her face and held out her other hand, gesturing the younger girl to come forward.
“C’mere!” Tiffany commanded and waited.
Jessica took small steps towards Tiffany before putting her clammy hand on the older woman’s.
Tiffany abruptly pulled her forward and wrapped an arm around her. She felt a strong urge to cry and tried her best to hold it in. Suddenly old painful memories of her terrible, useless high school days came back and the long desire to redo everything was fresh in her mind.
Jessica immediately wrapped her arms around Tiffany and buried her face into the woman’s chest.
Tiffany finally released her shirt and let it fall from her face before wrapping both of her arms around Jessica. The comfort was much needed.
And the woman was grateful that the girl made breakfast, of course, but it was such a sad attempt to make everything better.
The hug was comfortable the first few moments, and then Jessica felt a drop on her head.
She tried shifting and looking up, but Tiffany held her head down as the older woman’s body began trembling.
“You’re so stupid.” Tiffany’s voice was hoarse and she tried wiping the tears from her face with one hand while still holding on to Jessica with the other.
Jessica took the opportunity to step back and look at Tiffany. She was surprised to find the girl so emotionally affected.
nbsp;
“Why are you crying?” Her voice was small and fragile as tears started gathering in her own eyes again.
Tiffany chuckled dryly and looked over at Jessica
“You better not start crying too.”
The woman’s statement automatically triggered Jessica’s tears as they trickled down her face. She felt like Tiffany might really like her and care for her and she really hoped that was true.
Tiffany pulled her back into a hug. He tears had stopped and she felt better, but now Jessica’s letting out her own feelings.
“You’re really lonely, aren’t you?” Tiffany held Jessica closer and the younger girl nodded, her tears soaking into Tiffany’s already damp shirt. She didn't even have any friends she could stay with, or at the least, visit.
“You could’ve just apologized, geez.” The woman smiled wistfully.
Jessica had stopped crying and wiped her face with her own sleeves
“I’m sorry.&rdquo
Tiffany scoffed and combed down Jessica’s fringe, smileing before pulling her into a quick hug.
“Let’s just eat, cry baby.”
The younger girl smiled widely at Tiffany and the older woman almost felt like her heart would implode
Before the woman could embarrass herself further, she grabbed the plate of bacon Jessica had by the stove and placed it on the counter.
Jessica pranced over to the counter top and sat down on one of the stools before picking up her chop sticks. Tiffany joined her after she got the rice bowl out.
The older woman shifted comfortably in her seat and placed food on her plate cautiously, but her heart was beating heavily against her chest.
She didn’t know whether she was feeling sympathetic or euphoric
Once she took a bite of the food and chewed, she had to fight back another round of tears.
nbsp;“Don’t do this again, got it?”
Jessica stopped eating, puzzled. “Why?&rdquo
Did she not cook it well enough?
“I never want you to have to do this again.” Tiffany placed another piece of bacon in her mouth and ignored Jessica’s stare.
The food tastes great, it’s the best Tiffany’s ever had
But she didn’t want Jessica to have to make breakfast to apologize over something as trivial as her calling her a drug dealer. It really wasn’t Jessica’s fault.
*
After breakfast, Jessica did the dishes and Tiffany went back to her room.
Her bed was against the far wall on the right, her desk was beside it, and on top of her desk was her laptop.
She turned it on and left it to boot up while she retrieved the paper from last night in her jean’s pocket.
Once her laptop was done and ready, Tiffany sat on her computer chair and opened up her studio application and started applying the different notes onto the patterns and track list
It didn’t take her long to finish since she had everything ready to be added
Once she finished putting the song together, she just needed to add the vocals, which she couldn’t really do so in her apartment. She’d bother the neighbors.
She usually brought her material to the gang’s headquarters and recorded to her heart’s content.
Where else could she go if she wanted to bring Jessica?
Tiffany stood up from her chair, threw on a sweater, and walked out to the living room to find Jessica humming along to one of her English songs on the keyboard.
“Hey!” Tiffany called the girl and Jessica immediately took off her headphones.
“Wanna go back to your place for a bit? I wanna record a song and if I do it here, I’ll bother the neighbors.”
Jessica nodded and got up from her seat before turning off the instrument.
Tiffany turned back to her room to gather her gear.
*
When they arrived at Jessica’s house, everything was as the girl left it.
Tiffany started putting her stuff down in the living room until Jessica started pulling her upstairs.
“Let’s go to my room. I don’t like hanging out in the living room.”
Tiffany nodded and picked up her stuff again before letting herself get dragged upstairs.
Once they reached Jessica’s room the younger girl immediately let Tiffany go and went for her bed, climbing in with a satisfied smile.
“You’re just gonna sleep?” Tiffany placed her laptop on the girl’s desk and began unloading the mic and speakers. Once she had her stuff set up, she turned on her laptop and plopped into the chair.
As Tiffany waited, she looked back at the girl on the bed and found her staring.
nbsp;“What?” Tiffany smiled at Jessica bundled up in her sheets, the girl’s eyes and nose were the only things visible through a gap in the sheets.
“Nothing.” Jessica’s voice was muffled and Tiffany grinned.
“You look really comfortable.” Tiffany got up and walked over to Jessica’s bed to lie down beside her
Jessica stiffened in her blanket; she would’ve moved away if she could, but her body was well-wrapped.
Tiffany suddenly pulled the covers away from Jessica’s face and chuckled at the girl’s innocent expression. The young girl’s eyes were large and questioning and Tiffany couldn’t help admiring them
Then her eyes fell upon the younger girl’s lips
Tiffany’s breath caught in her throat, she immediately looked back up into Jessica’s eyes and found the girl staring back at her with a hesitant expression.
Tiffany leaned in, she felt her heart pumping against her chest and she was suddenly dizzy.
Her mind went blank; it threw out most of her rationale and replaced it with her sex drive.
Tiffany watched Jessica’s eyes shut and her bottom lip tremble uncontrollably. The girl looked so vulnerable and weak.
It almost made Tiffany retreat; almost. The older woman closed her eyes as well and slowly brought their faces together. She lightly brushed her lips against Jessica’s; simply testing the waters.
It was so faint of touch that it had Jessica furrowing her brows and opening her eyes as Tiffany pulled away.
Jessica shuffled beneath her blankets, but struggled to unbind herself. She closed her eyes, still trying to wiggle her way out, but she was getting too impatient and frustrated.
“More.” She demanded, with her eyes still closed.
Tiffany felt her heart swell and her cheeks begin to suffuse with a blush, and like a fool, complied with tease.
Jessica, aggravated by neglect and something else, opened her eyes to meet Tiffany’s passionate, waiting gaze.
In a whisper, the woman spoke against the girl’s lips with a sly grin gradually spreading across her face.
nbsp; “I’m too young to kiss you.”
Jessica immediately frowned.
nbsp; “I said, more.” She whined and Tiffany’s grin dimmed to a smirk as she hovered over Jessica’s lips and spoke slowly, hoping to intimidate the girl.
“What makes you think you can treat me like that?”
“Because you enjoy being treated like that,” Jessica shifted again, finally freeing her hands.
She aimed at getting a grasp on Tiffany’s nape and pulling down, but she was quickly intercepted
The older woman grabbed her wrists and held them tightly above the girl’s head and against the mattress.
nbsp; “You’re playing with fire.”
“It isn’t much of a threat.” Jessica confidently smirked until Tiffany lowered her body onto hers and her heart almost leapt out of her throat. Her breathing became shallow and her eyes immediately shut.
Tiffany stole the girl’s smirk and while restraining her small wrists with one hand, she removed the blanket between them with the other.
“I think you lost something.” The woman jested with the small girl.
Jessica cringed, knowing she had to answer. “What?”
“Your dominance.&rdquo
Tiffany smiled and leaned forward to kiss her again, but she suddenly felt a bit odd. Something was off. She hesitated for a second, staring at Jessica’s face. Her eyes are shut; brows furrowed, and bottom lip quivering. She was determined, yet frightened.
The young girl is two things she usually is, but were they really what she should be in this situation
Tiffany then came to the conclusion that she must be imagining things or doubting herself. How silly of her; however, unbeknownst to her now, that was strike one.
She ventured further into the depths of her desire; kissing Jessica with the amount of passion she’s been holding back ever since she had to take the girl under her wing.
Tiffany removed her hold on Jessica’s wrists to cup her face and run her fingers through her hair.
Jessica brought down her arms and pressed her palms against Tiffany’s shoulders before moving them to the back of her neck and pulling her closer.
Tiffany released a moan and broke away from the kiss, gasping for air, before diving right back in. Her hands moved sensually from Jessica’s jaw to the girl’s collar bone and finally, lower to her breasts.
She was excited and anticipating the soft feel of getting her hands on the girl’s chest, and she wasn’t disappointed, at all, until two words echoed in her mind: training bra.
Tiffany began smiling into Jessica’s kisses, but that didn’t slow them down.
The woman disregarded her old joke for the sake of the moment; besides, she was feeling an actual bra under the girl’s shirt.
She dragged her hands down to Jessica’s hips and massaged them slowly
A moan escaped the girl and her thighs instinctively closed. Jessica was pushing her naturally inexperienced limits.
Tiffany was pleased with the girl’s novice response and began pushing her shirt up until it revealed a petite, pink bra. Perfect.
She pealed the shirt completely off and tossed it aside before hurriedly moved her hands around Jessica’s smooth back to unhook the bra, and when she finally pulled it off, she caught sight of a painfully familiar phrase of the back straps of it. In white the words, Hello Kitty, were designed respectively onto the straps.
Mortification swept through Tiffany’s soul as millions of memories correlating with that same phrase flashed through her mind
Without notice, Tiffany had been frozen in place, junior’s bra in hand and half naked junior on the other. Strike two.
Suddenly, a fervent revelation came upon Tiffany’s doped up mind. Jessica’s not ready. The girl is also strangely out of character; surely Tiffany would have been ruthlessly vilified by the younger girl by now, right
No doubt about it; in fact, Jessica’s so unready, she didn’t even bother attempting to remove any of Tiffany’s clothes. She was still clad in her sweater and jeans. Why in the world would this Jessica be pushing herself to have sex if she wasn’t even going to reciprocate anything?
That same girl had long noticed Tiffany’s frozen stature with impatience. She had covered her chest with an arm and pushed forward with the other
Tiffany noticed the movement and finally looked back at her. She wanted to say something, but she couldn’t even bring herself to utter a word, much less, open her mouth. Her mind was still travelling through its many senses.
Jessica was instantly more aggravated, and with a surge of displeasure, snatched the undergarment from Tiffany and threw it on the floor before bringing Tiffany back down with her.
The hasty action; however hasty, had registered in Tiffany’s mind slowly, and all of a sudden, she was kissing Jessica again.
This had to be strike three; inevitably, it was, but determination was in the air and Tiffany always had a vague sense of when to stop.
Throwing off her sweater and with hardly any time at all, Tiffany was at Jessica’s pajama shorts, but for another second, to Jessica’s dismay, she stopped, again.
Jessica once more, noticed Tiffany’s strange behavior and her insecurities immediately shot up.
Apprehension was brewing Tiffany’s blood rush even more. What more could go wrong tonight?
Abruptly, Tiffany pulled down Jessica’s shorts and she was met with an answer. The young girl was wearing matching underwear. A kitten’s face was staring her dead in the eyes.
All hope was lost as Tiffany pulled Jessica’s shorts back up just as quickly as she had pulled them down.
“Why are you doing this?” Tiffany almost broke into a sob if she hadn’t caught herself and covered her face in shame.
Jessica, startled and appalled, immediately sat up. “What do you mean?”
The older girl brought her hands down and gazed directly into Jessica’s eyes.
nbsp; “If you weren’t ready, why did you instigate?”
Jessica covered her body with her arms again and opened her mouth to speak, but immediately closed it. Tears began in her eyes; she didn’t want to speak her reasons.
Tiffany, seeing Jessica wasn’t going to talk, grabbed her sweater from the floor. The younger girl was currently looking down and sulking in shame until she felt a thick fabric being pressed against her head.
In a sullen manner, Tiffany was forcing her sweater onto Jessica’s glaringly nude torso
The action was supposed to be comforting, but it had Jessica breaking into sobs and Tiffany sighing.
“First you’re too soft, now you’re too rough. Is there something you want to tell me?” Tiffany asks softly and sits back as Jessica finishes putting on the rest of the sweater.
Once done, the young girl calms down and is left sniffling while staring down at her bed spread, avoiding any kind of eye contact. If she meets eyes with Tiffany, another wave of tears will inevitably come on.
Tiffany sighs again and grabs one of Jessica’s hands.
nbsp; “You ignorant, ignorant girl.”
Her voice triggers another round of tears from Jessica and she’s sobbing again.
Tiffany pulls the girl forward and embraces her in a tight hug. She rubs her back and lets her cry on her shoulder.
Tiffany’s inner frustration has her speaking again. “You break my heart before I’m even given the chance to give it to you.” For a moment, she lets her own feelings out, but she’s almost incomprehensible of what she’s saying.
Jessica backs away, her eyes wide and tears having momentarily stopped. “Is that your way of saying ‘I love you’?” Her voice trembles, and her tone is hopeful.
A blush creeps onto Tiffany’s face and she looks away. She also notices the two ways her phrase could be taken and clears her throat
Looking back into Jessica’s eyes, Tiffany firmly states, “I’m not in love with you,” She pauses, continues, but stutters and is forced to try again.
She thinks her voice is embarrassingly high pitched, but wills herself to confess, “I like you.”
Everything is innocent, and nothing hurts. Tiffany is tackled onto the bed and Jessica was wrapped around her, just as Jessica’s blanket was originally wrapped around her.
The crying stopped and instead small sniffles and a relieved sigh took its place. Despite the sad turned happy atmosphere, the big question still hung, and it wasn’t a question of courtship.
Tiffany wrapped her arms around Jessica, kissed the crown of her head, and with a soft whisper asked, “Why?”
Jessica buried her face deeper into the crook of Tiffany’s neck. She stayed silent, but the older woman still expected an answer. In a low, troubled voice, Jessica answered.
nbsp; “I didn’t want you to go.”
The simple sentence hit deep. Despite Tiffany’s earlier efforts to console the girl’s loneliness, she didn’t realize the impact it would have if she actually brought to attention the distraught feeling and tried to comfort it. She’s only made this attachment stronger.
nbsp; “You could have said so.”
Jessica slightly shifted away. “The last time I did that, you said I was self-centered and left.”
Tiffany was gazing down at her before deciding to brush her fingers across the girl’s cheeks to rid her of the wet residue; as she did so, she pursed her lips in contemplation.
“I don’t think that means you should pay me something to stay.”
Jessica bit her lip and looked away.
nbsp; “I didn’t want you going somewhere else.”
If the first proclamation wasn’t disconcerting enough, this insinuation had Tiffany’s gut churning in guilt and disgust.
“I wouldn’t- I…” Tiffany paused. If this hadn’t occurred, would she have gone somewhere else? Wasn’t it always tempting to go somewhere for a nice ride, get fucked up, and then come home again to the nice tranquility of her so-called sanctuary
Jessica stared up at her with an ache in her chest and pain evident through her eyes.
Slowly, Jessica pushed away from Tiffany. The woman watched as inch by inch, the girl detached herself until she was sitting on the edge of her bed.
Tiffany sat up as well, still stupefied by her own thoughts and revelations. Suddenly, she wasn’t as smart or witty as she previously thought.
“Can you please get out?” It was a demand from Jessica, which Tiffany had many qualms to, but she wasn’t in the right place to object.
“Jess-&rdquo
“Just get out!”
Since they’ve met, it would have been the first time Tiffany had actually said her name, and the fact only added to the ache and nausea Jessica was feeling.
Tiffany hurriedly packed up her stuff from Jessica’s desk, and although it took a bit of time, the woman eventually scampered out of the room and to anywhere that wasn’t with Jessica.
The girl knew what she was giving up when she initiated intimacy with Tiffany, but in her heart, and in her mind, she had hoped that she had a little more of the woman than she had thought, and that, by some miraculous chance, Tiffany might have felt for her with the same passion she had kissed her with.
Why would Tiffany even risk kissing her in the first place if she wasn’t attached in some way? Why would Tiffany lead her on if she would just be another girl on a long list of other people she’s slept with?
Tears escaped Jessica’s eyes like a river and she couldn’t help admitting how much of a cry baby she really was. Sobs soon followed and a wail of sorrow from her lonely, young, broken heart was captured and muffled by her pillow.
*