And see: There lies the answer
Title: And see: There lies the answer
Fandom: D.Gray-man
Characters/Pairings: Allen/Kanda/Lavi/Lenalee
Word Count: 6,309
Rating: R
Warnings: Some character death in battle. They're people we know, but not any of the main characters.
Author's Notes: Written for the springkink prompt Reunion celebrations, reclaiming each other's bodies, reaffirming each other's bonds - "No matter how far away we are, we always remain connected." It's a little less celebratory than it could be, and, well, I will probably write the porn that this fic is so obviously leading up to and that the prompt very much calls for soon.
This sort of became the alternate, OT4 ending of the Allen/(Neah)/Kanda/(Alma) fic currently in the works, so some of the backstory here is tied up with that canon, but it's totally not necessary to know the details. (Essentially, though: Cross, Link, and Kanda stay with Allen while he fights (and overcomes) Neah's possession; Kanda and Allen have intense feels and sex, in that order). So there's hints of established Allen/Kanda.
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No one is expecting Allen Walker to show up.
The Order has been battling the Earl's forces head-on for days; skirmishes have been won and lost for weeks. Everyone knew the end was in sight, even if they couldn't see what exactly the end was. But for all of their preparations, there was one thing they couldn't account for: The Earl was nowhere to be found.
At first, this seemed of little consequence-he was waiting for the final strike, of course. But as the battle dragged on and both sides sustained serious losses, his continued absence put everyone on edge. They knew he would come eventually, but with what? When? And more importantly, would there be anyone left to fight him?
A lot of people were expecting Neah.
But it's just Allen, in the end.
"Go," Komui tells her, as Lenalee hands him his coffee one rainy morning in London, Headquarters in disarray as everyone makes final preparations for the oncoming battle.
"Thank you for the coffee, dear sister," he adds with a smile.
"Be careful," his eyes say, and "I love you"-just in case.
"Of course, Nii-san," she replies, and goes to find Marie.
Lavi is still unconscious as he is draped over Marie's shoulders: He does not see Lenalee cutting down his captors; he doesn't hear her crying over the body of his master.
What's left of the Order is huddled under the Time Record, attempting to stave off their injuries and fatigue. For all that they've taken down their fair share of the enemy, their numbers have been steadily dwindling, the absence of almost half of their Exorcists painfully obvious.
The Generals plan for their final offensive.
When the orders have been given, Miranda assures them with a weak tilt of her head that she can hold the Time Record for a little bit longer, and they break out already in formation.
The Akuma have been waiting, and they descend immediately, disorganizing the Order for the Noah's counter-strike. Tyki and Road have been as absent as the Earl, but only Lulu Bell and Sheril are still on the field; the Generals focus their attacks on them, trying to draw them away from the rest of their forces.
Lenalee is not surprised to see her brother on the battlefield, ordering the Finders and Science Division members to aid Timothy, Krory and the Thirds. The remaining Generals-Klaud and Tiedoll, from the looks of things-seem to be holding their ground against the Noah, but there is no end to the Akuma, no matter how many they seem to cut down.
Even from a quick glance at this distance, Lenalee knows they haven't returned one moment too soon; their force is too small already, and all three of them pick up their pace, sprinting into the fight without a second thought.
Komui is the first to spot them. The sky lights up behind him and he turns in time to see Lavi's hammer taking down a Level 2, Lenalee and Marie methodically wiping out the company of Level 1's sent to attack the Order from behind. Before he can even shout to alert the others, they've fought their way to the Order's front line, drastically strengthening their offensive.
Their early triumphant yells quickly die down, however, as Lulu Bell and Sheril turn their attacks on the newcomers and more Akuma bear down on them in never-ending waves. The Earl's forces succeed in separating them, and their attacks get more brutal as they continue to outnumber the Order's forces.
Tiedoll calls for them to regroup, but the Akuma have already started herding them into the center of the field, building up a wall around them.
None of them bother to think defensively; they will die here either way, and no orders need be given for them to know they'll go out fighting.
They're nearly surrounded when the first high note pierces the air, followed by a rapid round of gunshots. Sheril falls to the ground and as his body crumbles into dust the Akuma start to buzz in confusion, the Level 4's screaming orders that go entirely unheeded.
Cross and Link fall against the Earl's ranks, Maria's song filling the air. The Generals take advantage of the confusion and order a charge, the Akuma being beat back for the second time that day.
Again, though, their advantage is short-lived.
They have gained considerable ground in the last thirty minutes, but now something like a tremor suddenly runs through the Order's forces; their fatigue rushes over them, inevitable and heavy, their old wounds unstitching, their bones re-breaking.
Timothy catches himself before he collapses, and when he regains his balance, he scans the horizon for the glow of the Time Record, only to find that it is not there. Instead, he sees Marie crumpled on the ground in front of Miranda, Lulu Bell looming over her.
He watches in a daze as Lavi and Lenalee descend on the last remaining Noah. They shift the battle away from the fallen Exorcists, but as Lulu Bell lets Miranda go, she falls limply to the ground and does not move again.
Unexpectedly, the sight grounds him, bringing him back to himself. He's mostly unhurt if newly exhausted, so he picks himself up and fights his way over to the Generals, Tsukikami bloodstained and determined in his wake.
If Lavi feels at all out of shape for combat after months in captivity, Lenalee cannot tell. He is fighting as fiercely and as skillfully as she's ever seen him before. If anything, she feels like she should be concerned that he's channeling his emotions-his rage, and his loss-into the battle, which would be worrisome even if he wasn't a Bookman.
There is no time to dwell on that, however, as Lulu Bell shifts and darts around them, making no move to evade the fight but refusing to face them head-on. Lenalee does not follow Lulu Bell's movements as best she could, also hesitant to attack first, and she can tell that Lavi is holding back as well, trying to preserve his strength. Lulu Bell must realize this too, though, because she takes on a human form just long enough to crack at them with her whip, beating them back and driving them away from the main force.
Lavi summons a fire seal to distract her so they can attempt to regain their ground, and she makes the mistake of shifting into water to escape it. Lenalee invokes her Sound Shackles and lunges at Lulu Bell, connecting solidly and forcing her back. She lands lightly on the Noah's other side, and nods at Lavi as he closes in.
At this moment, though, something catches her eye over Lavi's shoulder, and she glances away for a few seconds, trying to discern what it is.
It doesn't take her long to figure it out. A Level 4 is looming in the air in the empty space between them and the rest of the battle, a familiar wispy blue light dissipating around it. Timothy's body is spread-eagled on the ground below, the failed possession and Tsukikami's fatigue leaving him wide open and vulnerable to the Akuma.
Lenalee cries out on pure impulse alone. She knows that everyone is fighting their own battles-that if anyone else even saw Timothy, they'd be powerless to come to his aid.
Conviction blossoms deep in her gut, giving her strength: She refuses to lose anybody else.
Channeling that conviction to her Innocence, Lenalee lashes out once more with the Sound Shackles, and this time the blow forces Lulu Bell back into her human form. Her attack barely finished, Lenalee invokes the Iron Shackles and strikes at the Noah from above before she can adjust to the shift and find steady ground. The blades cut down across Lulu Bell's spine, and her whole body spasms once before reverting back to its true Noah form, no longer able to shift.
Lenalee lands from the attack several feet away, already running towards Timothy and the Level 4, leaving Lavi to finish Lulu Bell off. She's worried that she might already be too late, but before she can even reach her destination the Level 4 recoils, letting out a shriek that doesn't quite disorient her the way she remembers. She grits her teeth against it and keeps running, and she's crouched over Timothy's body before she can really take in the sudden stillness around her, the way the battle seems to have paused.
Her gasping breaths are loud in the otherwise unnatural silence of the battle, the Akuma's cries a dull, ringing white noise in her ears.
The stillness only lasts for a few seconds before it erupts into chaos.
Across the battlefield, the Akuma break ranks and scatter, the Level 1's and 2's retreating, the 3's and 4's just disorganized enough to make themselves easy targets. No one has time to process what that truly means before the Order is giving them chase, hunting down the last stragglers with fresh vigor despite their losses.
Noise floods into Lenalee's ears as the Order mobilizes around her. In the next second, her senses snap back into place and she launches herself at the Level 4 still hovering in front of her, cutting him down with the Shackles that she never bothered to deactivate.
She's kneeled and has dragged Timothy into her lap before the Akuma is even fully disintegrated. He's regained consciousness for the moment, and he blinks up at her wearily.
"Len-a-lee?" he asks, his voice barely a whisper.
"Yeah, Timothy," she answers, brushing his hair away from his face with gentle fingers. "It's me."
"Thanks," he croaks, before passing out again.
"Lenalee."
Lenalee looks up at the sound of Lavi's voice, unsure and brittle like she's never heard. She's immediately on guard, and she studies him as he approaches, but can't seem to pinpoint what's wrong with him. He looks a little worse for wear, sure, and she can see where he's limping slightly, but otherwise he looks to be just fine.
She tries to ignore what could be tear tracks etched into the dust and blood on his face.
He glances questioningly at Timothy's prone form, and she decides to let it drop.
"He's fine," she tells him, with a grateful breath. "Just passed out-exhaustion, most likely. His wounds don't look that bad."
"Tha's good," Lavi nods, and then inclines his head back in the direction they came from. "Check it out."
Behind Lavi, Lenalee can see two figures approaching, obviously bruised and battered even from this distance. It takes her a second to really process what she's seeing, but then she's laying Timothy's head down gently on the grass, and then she's running across the field in their direction, calling out as she goes. Lavi falls in behind her.
"Allen!"
Lenalee launches herself at him, nearly knocking him over. All of a sudden she's crying into his shoulder, not really believing he's there, with them.
"Hey," he laughs, pulling her tighter into his embrace. "It's good to see you."
She pulls back to see him smiling at her-with what appears to be the first sincere smile she's ever seen. She can't help but smile back at him through her tears.
And then she launches herself at Kanda in turn. He pulls her close and lets her cry into the front of his uniform, and then he lets her beat her fists against his chest when she's recovered herself enough to demand, "Where have you two been? You idiots, thinking you could go off and do this all by yourself, we could have helped you, we could have-"
Kanda reaches out and brushes his thumb across her cheek, wiping away her tears; the gesture is ridiculously intimate, and it startles her into silence.
"You shouldn't cry," Kanda tells her. "We're all right, Lenalee. We're here now."
She sniffs once and then hastily moves to wipe at her cheeks, visibly collecting herself. "You're right," she tells him. "We're alive. That's what matters." She swallows back whatever tears she had left.
He nods, satisfied.
"Glad you guys could make it," Lavi says lightly, but they can hear the strain in his voice, and he's not grinning like he usually does.
Kanda can feel Allen tense up beside him and he knows that Allen noticed this, too. Neither of them replies, and the silence is just beginning to get uncomfortable when Kanda finally forces out a response.
"Could say the same for you, Usagi," he says, in the most off-handed tone he can manage.
"Too true, Yuu," Lavi quips, a little more of the mask slipping into place this time. "Got Lenalee here and Marie to thank for that," he adds, his voice back to its usual lightness, but so obviously forced that Kanda doesn't even hide the suspicion is his gaze.
Lenalee looks between them and asks, "But where were you guys, really?" both because she wants to get them talking about other things, and because her curiosity can only be put off for so long. "Marie and I were doing all we could to cover for you, but Komui told me Central couldn't even find you, anyway."
"Well," Allen begins, tension lacing his voice, but then-
"Lots of places," Kanda interrupts, and Allen relaxes, his hand surreptitiously brushing against Kanda's in thanks.
They walk back in silence.
Komui and Johnny have already set up a makeshift hospital by the time the four of them arrive at the base on the near edge of the battlefield, Timothy slung over Lavi's shoulders. It's a testament to just how bad of a shape everyone is in that Komui steps away only for a moment to pull his sister into a tight hug, tears streaming silently down his face.
She hugs him back just as fiercely, but steps away after a long moment. "They need you, Nii-san," she tells him, inclining her head to the rows of stretchers behind them.
Komui nods, taking a last long look at Lenalee before relieving Lavi of Timothy and turning his attention back to his patients.
Link doesn't exactly run over when he spots them, but he does march straight up to Allen, reaching out to grip his shoulders tightly as if to make sure that Allen's still alive, still real.
"Allen," Link says, and although the word is flat and unremarkable, Allen can tell it's a question.
"Yeah," Allen smiles up at him weakly. "It's still me."
Link doesn't smile, or nod, or do anything but pull Allen into a crushing embrace, his eyes falling closed as he holds him. Allen smiles and wraps his arms around Link in turn.
A moment later, though, Link seems to remember himself and lets Allen go, but he clings to Allen's shoulders for a few seconds longer before relinquishing him completely. He nods at Kanda, who inclines his head respectfully.
"Bookman, Miss Lee," he addresses Lavi and Lenalee, almost as an afterthought. (Lenalee nods in response, but Lavi freezes at being thus addressed, the first time in his life he has been so).
Silence has barely settled around them but already Link and Allen are on the same page. Allen knows that Link would stay with him, that some part of Link wants to stay with him. But Allen also knows that where he truly wants and needs to be is with the Thirds, although his sense of loyalty will not let him go without permission.
"Link," Allen says, and when Link looks up at him, the sheer pride in his eyes is startling.
"Go to them," Allen tells him softly, and Link doesn't need to say "Thank you" for Allen to hear it.
Sheets cover the dead, but it is clear from the scarcity of those left standing who is under them: Most of the Finders, Reever, Madarao, Chaozii, Miranda, General Socalo, and three Exorcists from other branches.
Allen, Kanda, Lavi, and Lenalee stand together at their feet, heads bowed.
Kanda takes Lenalee's hand, and she does not cry.
Headquarters is largely undamaged: Most of the fighting happened elsewhere, and the damage that the Cathedral did incur in its few early skirmishes was nothing too out of the ordinary. After a week or so of repairs, it will be as good as new.
Most of the Order lives there even while the repairs are being done: The entire European Branch returns, and only the higher-up officials of other branches return to their own HQs to assist in their own repairs.
Everyone helps out, and the four of them work together, quietly hesitant about letting each other out of their sights. It's late by the time Komui suddenly appears to fuss over them, and he sends them off to bed without another word.
They linger at the top of the staircase, none of them making any move to part ways and return to their own rooms. No one says anything, but after a moment Allen takes Kanda's hand and leads them off, the other two following without being told.
They wind up in Allen's old room.
Link's bed is still there but they ignore it, Allen and Lenalee sitting on the edge of Allen's and Kanda taking the floor next to Allen's legs. Lavi leans against the adjacent wall, close to them but still visibly separate.
That unspoken tension still holds even now, and they all know where this could go-where this has been heading for some time now. Still, if any one of them made a move to just curl up together on the bed and go to sleep, they would all follow suit without question or complaint, content with just being together. But no one does, and the silence starts to get suffocating the longer it goes on.
Abruptly, Kanda swings himself up off of the floor, coming to stand in front of Allen. Three sets of eyes follow the movement, and Allen looks up at him with the smallest of smirks, his eyes dancing in the dim light.
Kanda leans down and kisses him without preamble. The familiarity of it is obvious and it surprises Lenalee and Lavi, for all that they'd suspected. They had noticed from the moment Allen and Kanda returned that the two of them pretty much refused point-blank to be apart, and that although they spoke less than they ever had, they were more in tune than ever before. And they were tactile with each other, constantly in each other's space, communicating with lingering touches and subtle gestures. Lenalee and Lavi both assumed that this was an inevitable result of months together on the run, but they only had some idea of how deep it all went.
They stay close even after they break apart, Kanda resting his forehead against Allen's, the two of them breathing the same air. Allen reaches up and gently brushes his knuckles across Kanda's cheek, and he leans up to kiss Kanda quickly on the lips before they both turn to look at Lenalee beside them.
Allen smiles at her as Kanda straightens up and steps over to stand in front of her, as well. Lenalee lifts her face to meet his gaze and Kanda is momentarily taken aback by how happy she looks, how he's never seen this kind of visible contentment in her stature before. He's hit with a wave of fierce protectiveness, and more purposefully than he did with Allen, he leans down and kisses her, too.
Allen takes her hand in the middle of it, and when Kanda breaks off Lenalee can't help but smile up at him while she catches her breath. Kanda smiles back at her (kind of stupidly, Allen thinks fondly) and any tension that was between them is gone now, something that just feels right settling down in its place.
They're all kind of caught up in finally being together, but they know that something is still missing. The three of them turn their heads in unison to look at Lavi, who's watching them expressionlessly.
Lavi didn't have any illusions about where this was going when he followed the three of them into this room, of course he didn't: He's better at reading the signs than just about anybody. But even though he knew this was going to happen he's still terrified that it is, and a large part of him wants to leave before it goes any further because he's Bookman now and he certainly can't be doing this-the Panda would kill him if he knew-and he's terrified that he let himself get into this situation and that he wants it as badly as he does.
Because he knows that he shouldn't, that he can't; but his whole life is spread out in front of him and at this very moment he wants nothing more than to say "Fuck it," to denounce his identity and what he's supposed to be because this-these people-are what he truly wants. He knows he's being selfish but he doesn't fucking care, because in all of human history there have never been people like the ones in front of him right now and he thinks that maybe they are worth risking everything he has worked for.
It's too late anyway, he thinks sardonically. He has already broken Bookman laws; the emotional damage has already been done, whether he acts on it or not. He can walk away from this and dwell on it forever, or he can do this now and not regret it. Either choice seems so unreal to him that he decides to just do what he wants-and fuck, if that isn't the scariest, most forbidden thing he's ever done.
But then Kanda is walking towards him and suddenly Lavi is hit with blind panic, because it's actually happening now and it's completely out of his control and he doesn't know what to do: He has never trained for something like this and when Kanda stops mere inches in front of him, Lavi has to avert his gaze because he has spent the last twelve years of his life repressing the kind of emotion that he sees in Kanda's eyes. It's too much, it's way too much all at once because Lavi recognizes it; he loves this boy in front of him and he wants nothing more than to express that, but he still feels paralyzed with both fear and uncertainty.
But then Kanda takes Lavi's chin in his hand and gently tilts Lavi's face back up to his.
The feel of Kanda's fingers on his skin sends sparks through Lavi's whole body and every instinct he possesses screams at him to stop.
He ignores them.
He lets himself be touched although he still doesn't move, still hesitant to start something he shouldn't even want. But he sees the challenge in Kanda's eyes and is powerless against it; he knows that any objection he might mount is nominal, and nothing else. Because he loves these people, and long gone are the days when he could ever tell himself otherwise. He loves them, and he will do anything now to be able to keep them.
Kanda leans in and kisses him.
Lavi's eyes fall shut almost immediately, but otherwise he doesn't respond, still held immobile by an impulse he can't quite fight.
But then Kanda starts to pull away, and Lavi's consciousness shrinks to this one moment, to this one thing, and he reacts all at once. His eyes snap open and he reaches out to wrap a hand around the back of Kanda's skull, hauling him back in. His fingers tangle possessively in Kanda's hair as he kisses him, and his other arm snakes around Kanda's waist, keeping him where he is.
Kanda growls, low and satisfied, and his hand trails from Lavi's chin down to his throat, a barely-there pressure on his windpipe that Lavi can feel every time he breathes. He gives in to Kanda with all of the emotion that he's been ridding himself of for the better part of his life, and suddenly he wants more: He needs all of them, and he pushes up against Kanda to mean they should get to the bed.
Allen and Lenalee had observed the exchange with bated breath, and they watch Lavi closely as he approaches them, trailing just slightly behind Kanda, who is leading him with their fingers loosely entwined.
Kanda sits down next to Allen, his fingers slipping from Lavi's, and Allen smiles at him, strangely proud. Kanda leans in to peck quickly at his lips, a silent acknowledgment, before they all turn their attention back to Lavi.
It's clear to them from his expression that despite his conviction, Lavi is still overwhelmed and just a little bit terrified, but they understand how huge this is, that in the course of one night he's broken the pledge that he had sworn to live by.
As unassumingly as she can, Lenalee reaches out and takes Lavi's hand, smiling up at him sort of sadly but with such genuine happiness that Lavi is there, with them, that it calms him down just enough for him to make the first move. He squeezes in between her and Allen on the bed, and lifts his hand to cup Lenalee's cheek with slightly trembling fingers. She leans into the touch, and Lavi guides her forward to press his lips gently against hers.
She holds the chaste kiss for only a few seconds, and Lavi responds immediately when she opens for him, licking into her mouth. She tilts her head to deepen the kiss, her fingers coming up to tangle in the hair at the nape of his neck.
When they break apart some moments later, Lavi rests his head against her temple, eyes closed and content, thinking of nothing but the present.
"My turn," Allen says impatiently after another minute, and Kanda scoffs indignantly at his complete lack of tact. But Lenalee laughs, and Lavi smiles for pretty much the first time since he was rescued and gladly turns to face Allen, ready for it when Allen lunges at him, wrapping his arms around Lavi's neck.
The kiss is sort of sloppy but neither of them minds; it's only when Allen almost head-butts Kanda trying to pull Lavi down on top of him that they finally break apart, Allen's weak "Sorry, Kanda" obscured by his snigger.
"Tch," Kanda says brusquely, after having swerved out of the way. He takes this moment to push himself fully back onto the bed and settle down on the far side, propping himself up on his elbow.
"Come here, Lavi" he says, reaching out, meaning to pull Lavi down next to him, but Lavi stays where he is, frozen awkwardly half-draped over Allen's body.
"Bookman," Lavi says, although it's a token correction and it sounds tried, even to his own ears.
The tension that falls over the four of them is nevertheless palpable, but Kanda refuses to let Lavi dwell on this, refuses to give Lavi a reason to hate himself for what he's doing.
"Lavi," he repeats pointedly, the challenge in his voice almost imperceptible but still intractably there.
The silence holds for a minute longer and a large part of Lavi is still recoiling from their flagrant disrespect of Bookman laws and the knowledge of his own failure within them; but after another long moment, Lavi sighs and shakes his head, resigned to whatever fate he now has.
He pushes back onto the bed, sitting cross-legged near Kanda's knees.
"Tha's not actually my name, y'know," he says with a smile, trying to make a joke, trying to dispel what tension still lingers, but his smile is more sad than amused.
Allen turns towards him. "What is your name?" he asks, with the near-reverent tone of someone who knows what it is to be without one.
"I don't-" Lavi hesitates, not sure how to articulate centuries of Bookman tradition, practices that are beyond time. "I don't have one," he says finally, not only because it's true, as far as it goes, but also because it's easier than telling them he doesn't remember.
"Lavi, then," Lenalee says like the matter is settled, and Lavi thinks that maybe it is.
"Now come here," Kanda all but growls, breaking the tension once and for all, and Lavi can't help it-he laughs.
"All right, calm down," he says teasingly, and unfolds his limbs to sprawl on his back beside Kanda.
Lavi looks up at him, and he tilts his head in the smallest of nods, approving. They hold their gaze for a few more seconds, and then Lavi is surging up to meet his mouth when Kanda leans down to kiss him. Lavi drags him back down with hands cupping his face, and Kanda rolls over and collapses onto him bonelessly.
He bites at Kanda's bottom lip, running over it with his tongue. Kanda groans into Lavi's mouth, his tongue pressing insistently against Lavi's teeth until Lavi opens for him, letting him inside. Kanda pushes himself up onto his elbows so he can thread his fingers through Lavi's hair, angling Lavi's head for better access to his mouth.
He suddenly gets an idea and has to try not to grin. Accidentally-on-purpose, he catches his nails against Lavi's skull, scraping down and away from Lavi's face in even lines.
Lavi immediately breaks off the kiss to let out a strangled moan. "Fuck," he says appreciatively, voice low, as Kanda does it again, harder this time. He butts his head against Kanda's hands like a cat, and then he hears Lenalee giggle.
He spares a glance around Kanda's shoulder to the foot of the bed. Lenalee has tucked her knees up and Allen is resting between her legs, her arms slung loosely over his shoulders and across his chest. They're watching him with identical smiles.
"What? Feels good," he declares shamelessly, smiling up at Kanda, who ducks down to place a chaste kiss at his temple.
"Hey," he says, after another minute has passed. He's looking at Kanda but addressing all of them when he asks, not a trace of embarrassment in his voice, "Can we just sleep?"
"Of course," Kanda replies without hesitation. "I'm fucking exhausted, anyway," he adds.
"Yeah, me too," Lenalee agrees, nodding.
"Same," is Allen's response.
Lavi nods gratefully. "Okay." Then, more playfully, "Get over here, you two," leveled at Allen and Lenalee, who spring up immediately like they were only waiting to be asked.
"Covers," Allen reminds them practically, as he shuffles on hands and knees towards them. Kanda rolls his eyes, but he and Lavi rearrange themselves and slide under them.
Allen stops about halfway up the bed and sits on his heels to look back at Lenalee. "Miss Lee," he announces gravely, bowing his head and making an exaggerated, sweeping hand gesture to indicate that she should crawl in next.
Lenalee stops where she is, and rather than pushing past him and getting into bed, she sizes Allen up with a mischievous glint in her eyes. Allen freezes sort of awkwardly when Lenalee just keeps looking at him, and his entertainer façade visibly slips a little in bewilderment.
Lavi snorts at Allen's obvious (and oblivious) confusion.
"Wha-?" Allen begins, but then Lenalee pounces, more or less tackling him flat onto the bed.
"Oh," he says, a huge grin starting to turn up the corners of his mouth. "Hi."
"Hi," Lenalee responds breathlessly, grinning back at him. Allen starts to lift his head, and Lenalee meets him halfway. She kisses him once quickly, and then can only smile against his lips, not wanting to pull away. But when Allen flicks his tongue out to trace the curve of her mouth, she melts down into him, her giddiness abruptly replaced by need.
Allen's hand comes up to settle on her hip and she rocks into him almost imperceptibly, kissing him more intently. Almost without conscious thought, Allen bends his knees a little, spreading his legs just enough for Lenalee to settle between them. She hoists herself up his body a little more, bringing the kiss to a better angle.
Allen cuts off a moan when it's still in his throat, and breaks off the kiss while he still can. Lenalee nestles into the curve of Allen's shoulder and her warm breath on his skin makes Allen shiver.
"You young'uns about done?" Kanda deadpans, looking over at them. Allen takes one look at his completely expressionless face and cracks up from where he's still trapped under Lenalee's body. "Some of us are trying to sleep."
"You two aren't that old," Lenalee scoffs, lifting her head from Allen's neck and reaching over to swat Kanda playfully on the arm. She picks herself up and scoots over to Lavi, slipping her legs under the covers and dropping down on top of him instead. She leans up and kisses him on the cheek, his arms wrapping around her waist.
"And 'trying to sleep,' please," Allen adds, getting under the covers in turn. "It's not like you weren't enjoying the show."
"Mmm. Man's got a point," Lavi concedes, to no one in particular.
Allen doesn't miss Kanda's smirk.
It's a tight fit, but they fall asleep like that, woven seamlessly together.
Morning finds them in the same position, limbs still entwined. Kanda wakes first before sunrise, but the others soon follow, stretching lazily against each other as sunlight begins streaming through the laths on Allen's window.
They are decently well-rested, considering the previous weeks, but they stay in bed for a little while longer, dozing on and off, content to just be.
Allen's growling stomach ruins the mood.
"Of course," Kanda scoffs, while they drag themselves out of bed, the fondness in his tone nevertheless evident. "You're always hungry."
They each stop by their own rooms to change clothes and freshen up before heading down to the cafeteria.
Jerry has the kitchens in full swing when they arrive, wailing about malnutrition and probable starvation and something about how he needs to nurse these poor kids back to health.
The four of them take the end of a table closer to Jerry's window ("Easy access," Allen had explained) and while they greet the other Order members as they arrive, their attention is focused on each other.
Komui stops by their table not long after to give them their orders, which are unsurprisingly to assist with the cleanup effort. They are assigned to the labs-one of the hardest hit areas-and they breathe a collective sigh of relief that they will be working together. Before he leaves, Komui says that he's thrilled to see them looking so happy; and then he hurries off, wiping at his eyes suspiciously.
They work mostly non-stop over the next two days, but by the end the labs are cleaned of debris and what could be salvaged has been removed and inventoried. Their workload slowly dwindles, and the influx of free time allows them to start thinking about other things.
They've gone no further than they did that first night, but it is obvious now to all of them that this will soon change.
Allen, Kanda, and Lenalee had had one terrifying moment of panic the first time Lavi had been addressed as "Bookman" at Headquarters, as they'd checked in with Johnny in the labs on that first morning.
They hadn't wanted to draw more attention to it than necessary, but the three of them froze in their tracks, glancing nervously at Lavi and trying to gauge his reaction. He'd visibly stiffened at the title, but his face was eerily serene as he acknowledged the address. They'd been worried that such a sudden and unexpected reminder of his true identity would cause him to second-guess his decision and thus regret his actions, but as they walked to their station he'd caught each of their eyes, silently reassuring them that nothing had changed.
More than one person had commented on how well they all seemed to be taking things, and while each of them had offered their own personal reasons for that, they knew it was because of each other.
By noon of the second day, none of them had been focusing wholly on their work. They'd found themselves stealing sidelong glances at each other, inventing reasons to work near each other, sitting closer and closer together on their increasingly frequent breaks.
By the end of the third day, it was almost unbearable. They knew that they'd been growing careless, but it was getting harder and harder for them not to touch, not to fall into each other the way they did behind closed doors.
The more time that went by the more anxious they became, until even Allen was all too willing to throw down his dinner plates before he was finished, the four of them excusing themselves and making a hasty retreat.
Retiring to Allen's room already feels natural in a way it shouldn't after so short a time, and it is that, more than what they've finally come here to do, which prompts Lavi to speak.
He holds back just inside the door, waiting for the others to settle down. They sprawl out together on the bed, but look up at Lavi curiously when they realize he's still standing.
"I can't stay," he tells them, seemingly apropos of nothing, but they stay silent and wait for him to continue. "I have a job to do and I mean to do it, but-" he falters, looking at each of them in turn and wondering-not for the first time, and most certainly not for the last-why it feels so right to belong to them.
"But I don't have to leave just yet," he finishes, and one by one, they smile.
DW post here. Comment there? |
Fandom: D.Gray-man
Characters/Pairings: Allen/Kanda/Lavi/Lenalee
Word Count: 6,309
Rating: R
Warnings: Some character death in battle. They're people we know, but not any of the main characters.
Author's Notes: Written for the springkink prompt Reunion celebrations, reclaiming each other's bodies, reaffirming each other's bonds - "No matter how far away we are, we always remain connected." It's a little less celebratory than it could be, and, well, I will probably write the porn that this fic is so obviously leading up to and that the prompt very much calls for soon.
This sort of became the alternate, OT4 ending of the Allen/(Neah)/Kanda/(Alma) fic currently in the works, so some of the backstory here is tied up with that canon, but it's totally not necessary to know the details. (Essentially, though: Cross, Link, and Kanda stay with Allen while he fights (and overcomes) Neah's possession; Kanda and Allen have intense feels and sex, in that order). So there's hints of established Allen/Kanda.
_____________
No one is expecting Allen Walker to show up.
The Order has been battling the Earl's forces head-on for days; skirmishes have been won and lost for weeks. Everyone knew the end was in sight, even if they couldn't see what exactly the end was. But for all of their preparations, there was one thing they couldn't account for: The Earl was nowhere to be found.
At first, this seemed of little consequence-he was waiting for the final strike, of course. But as the battle dragged on and both sides sustained serious losses, his continued absence put everyone on edge. They knew he would come eventually, but with what? When? And more importantly, would there be anyone left to fight him?
A lot of people were expecting Neah.
But it's just Allen, in the end.
"Go," Komui tells her, as Lenalee hands him his coffee one rainy morning in London, Headquarters in disarray as everyone makes final preparations for the oncoming battle.
"Thank you for the coffee, dear sister," he adds with a smile.
"Be careful," his eyes say, and "I love you"-just in case.
"Of course, Nii-san," she replies, and goes to find Marie.
Lavi is still unconscious as he is draped over Marie's shoulders: He does not see Lenalee cutting down his captors; he doesn't hear her crying over the body of his master.
What's left of the Order is huddled under the Time Record, attempting to stave off their injuries and fatigue. For all that they've taken down their fair share of the enemy, their numbers have been steadily dwindling, the absence of almost half of their Exorcists painfully obvious.
The Generals plan for their final offensive.
When the orders have been given, Miranda assures them with a weak tilt of her head that she can hold the Time Record for a little bit longer, and they break out already in formation.
The Akuma have been waiting, and they descend immediately, disorganizing the Order for the Noah's counter-strike. Tyki and Road have been as absent as the Earl, but only Lulu Bell and Sheril are still on the field; the Generals focus their attacks on them, trying to draw them away from the rest of their forces.
Lenalee is not surprised to see her brother on the battlefield, ordering the Finders and Science Division members to aid Timothy, Krory and the Thirds. The remaining Generals-Klaud and Tiedoll, from the looks of things-seem to be holding their ground against the Noah, but there is no end to the Akuma, no matter how many they seem to cut down.
Even from a quick glance at this distance, Lenalee knows they haven't returned one moment too soon; their force is too small already, and all three of them pick up their pace, sprinting into the fight without a second thought.
Komui is the first to spot them. The sky lights up behind him and he turns in time to see Lavi's hammer taking down a Level 2, Lenalee and Marie methodically wiping out the company of Level 1's sent to attack the Order from behind. Before he can even shout to alert the others, they've fought their way to the Order's front line, drastically strengthening their offensive.
Their early triumphant yells quickly die down, however, as Lulu Bell and Sheril turn their attacks on the newcomers and more Akuma bear down on them in never-ending waves. The Earl's forces succeed in separating them, and their attacks get more brutal as they continue to outnumber the Order's forces.
Tiedoll calls for them to regroup, but the Akuma have already started herding them into the center of the field, building up a wall around them.
None of them bother to think defensively; they will die here either way, and no orders need be given for them to know they'll go out fighting.
They're nearly surrounded when the first high note pierces the air, followed by a rapid round of gunshots. Sheril falls to the ground and as his body crumbles into dust the Akuma start to buzz in confusion, the Level 4's screaming orders that go entirely unheeded.
Cross and Link fall against the Earl's ranks, Maria's song filling the air. The Generals take advantage of the confusion and order a charge, the Akuma being beat back for the second time that day.
Again, though, their advantage is short-lived.
They have gained considerable ground in the last thirty minutes, but now something like a tremor suddenly runs through the Order's forces; their fatigue rushes over them, inevitable and heavy, their old wounds unstitching, their bones re-breaking.
Timothy catches himself before he collapses, and when he regains his balance, he scans the horizon for the glow of the Time Record, only to find that it is not there. Instead, he sees Marie crumpled on the ground in front of Miranda, Lulu Bell looming over her.
He watches in a daze as Lavi and Lenalee descend on the last remaining Noah. They shift the battle away from the fallen Exorcists, but as Lulu Bell lets Miranda go, she falls limply to the ground and does not move again.
Unexpectedly, the sight grounds him, bringing him back to himself. He's mostly unhurt if newly exhausted, so he picks himself up and fights his way over to the Generals, Tsukikami bloodstained and determined in his wake.
If Lavi feels at all out of shape for combat after months in captivity, Lenalee cannot tell. He is fighting as fiercely and as skillfully as she's ever seen him before. If anything, she feels like she should be concerned that he's channeling his emotions-his rage, and his loss-into the battle, which would be worrisome even if he wasn't a Bookman.
There is no time to dwell on that, however, as Lulu Bell shifts and darts around them, making no move to evade the fight but refusing to face them head-on. Lenalee does not follow Lulu Bell's movements as best she could, also hesitant to attack first, and she can tell that Lavi is holding back as well, trying to preserve his strength. Lulu Bell must realize this too, though, because she takes on a human form just long enough to crack at them with her whip, beating them back and driving them away from the main force.
Lavi summons a fire seal to distract her so they can attempt to regain their ground, and she makes the mistake of shifting into water to escape it. Lenalee invokes her Sound Shackles and lunges at Lulu Bell, connecting solidly and forcing her back. She lands lightly on the Noah's other side, and nods at Lavi as he closes in.
At this moment, though, something catches her eye over Lavi's shoulder, and she glances away for a few seconds, trying to discern what it is.
It doesn't take her long to figure it out. A Level 4 is looming in the air in the empty space between them and the rest of the battle, a familiar wispy blue light dissipating around it. Timothy's body is spread-eagled on the ground below, the failed possession and Tsukikami's fatigue leaving him wide open and vulnerable to the Akuma.
Lenalee cries out on pure impulse alone. She knows that everyone is fighting their own battles-that if anyone else even saw Timothy, they'd be powerless to come to his aid.
Conviction blossoms deep in her gut, giving her strength: She refuses to lose anybody else.
Channeling that conviction to her Innocence, Lenalee lashes out once more with the Sound Shackles, and this time the blow forces Lulu Bell back into her human form. Her attack barely finished, Lenalee invokes the Iron Shackles and strikes at the Noah from above before she can adjust to the shift and find steady ground. The blades cut down across Lulu Bell's spine, and her whole body spasms once before reverting back to its true Noah form, no longer able to shift.
Lenalee lands from the attack several feet away, already running towards Timothy and the Level 4, leaving Lavi to finish Lulu Bell off. She's worried that she might already be too late, but before she can even reach her destination the Level 4 recoils, letting out a shriek that doesn't quite disorient her the way she remembers. She grits her teeth against it and keeps running, and she's crouched over Timothy's body before she can really take in the sudden stillness around her, the way the battle seems to have paused.
Her gasping breaths are loud in the otherwise unnatural silence of the battle, the Akuma's cries a dull, ringing white noise in her ears.
The stillness only lasts for a few seconds before it erupts into chaos.
Across the battlefield, the Akuma break ranks and scatter, the Level 1's and 2's retreating, the 3's and 4's just disorganized enough to make themselves easy targets. No one has time to process what that truly means before the Order is giving them chase, hunting down the last stragglers with fresh vigor despite their losses.
Noise floods into Lenalee's ears as the Order mobilizes around her. In the next second, her senses snap back into place and she launches herself at the Level 4 still hovering in front of her, cutting him down with the Shackles that she never bothered to deactivate.
She's kneeled and has dragged Timothy into her lap before the Akuma is even fully disintegrated. He's regained consciousness for the moment, and he blinks up at her wearily.
"Len-a-lee?" he asks, his voice barely a whisper.
"Yeah, Timothy," she answers, brushing his hair away from his face with gentle fingers. "It's me."
"Thanks," he croaks, before passing out again.
"Lenalee."
Lenalee looks up at the sound of Lavi's voice, unsure and brittle like she's never heard. She's immediately on guard, and she studies him as he approaches, but can't seem to pinpoint what's wrong with him. He looks a little worse for wear, sure, and she can see where he's limping slightly, but otherwise he looks to be just fine.
She tries to ignore what could be tear tracks etched into the dust and blood on his face.
He glances questioningly at Timothy's prone form, and she decides to let it drop.
"He's fine," she tells him, with a grateful breath. "Just passed out-exhaustion, most likely. His wounds don't look that bad."
"Tha's good," Lavi nods, and then inclines his head back in the direction they came from. "Check it out."
Behind Lavi, Lenalee can see two figures approaching, obviously bruised and battered even from this distance. It takes her a second to really process what she's seeing, but then she's laying Timothy's head down gently on the grass, and then she's running across the field in their direction, calling out as she goes. Lavi falls in behind her.
"Allen!"
Lenalee launches herself at him, nearly knocking him over. All of a sudden she's crying into his shoulder, not really believing he's there, with them.
"Hey," he laughs, pulling her tighter into his embrace. "It's good to see you."
She pulls back to see him smiling at her-with what appears to be the first sincere smile she's ever seen. She can't help but smile back at him through her tears.
And then she launches herself at Kanda in turn. He pulls her close and lets her cry into the front of his uniform, and then he lets her beat her fists against his chest when she's recovered herself enough to demand, "Where have you two been? You idiots, thinking you could go off and do this all by yourself, we could have helped you, we could have-"
Kanda reaches out and brushes his thumb across her cheek, wiping away her tears; the gesture is ridiculously intimate, and it startles her into silence.
"You shouldn't cry," Kanda tells her. "We're all right, Lenalee. We're here now."
She sniffs once and then hastily moves to wipe at her cheeks, visibly collecting herself. "You're right," she tells him. "We're alive. That's what matters." She swallows back whatever tears she had left.
He nods, satisfied.
"Glad you guys could make it," Lavi says lightly, but they can hear the strain in his voice, and he's not grinning like he usually does.
Kanda can feel Allen tense up beside him and he knows that Allen noticed this, too. Neither of them replies, and the silence is just beginning to get uncomfortable when Kanda finally forces out a response.
"Could say the same for you, Usagi," he says, in the most off-handed tone he can manage.
"Too true, Yuu," Lavi quips, a little more of the mask slipping into place this time. "Got Lenalee here and Marie to thank for that," he adds, his voice back to its usual lightness, but so obviously forced that Kanda doesn't even hide the suspicion is his gaze.
Lenalee looks between them and asks, "But where were you guys, really?" both because she wants to get them talking about other things, and because her curiosity can only be put off for so long. "Marie and I were doing all we could to cover for you, but Komui told me Central couldn't even find you, anyway."
"Well," Allen begins, tension lacing his voice, but then-
"Lots of places," Kanda interrupts, and Allen relaxes, his hand surreptitiously brushing against Kanda's in thanks.
They walk back in silence.
Komui and Johnny have already set up a makeshift hospital by the time the four of them arrive at the base on the near edge of the battlefield, Timothy slung over Lavi's shoulders. It's a testament to just how bad of a shape everyone is in that Komui steps away only for a moment to pull his sister into a tight hug, tears streaming silently down his face.
She hugs him back just as fiercely, but steps away after a long moment. "They need you, Nii-san," she tells him, inclining her head to the rows of stretchers behind them.
Komui nods, taking a last long look at Lenalee before relieving Lavi of Timothy and turning his attention back to his patients.
Link doesn't exactly run over when he spots them, but he does march straight up to Allen, reaching out to grip his shoulders tightly as if to make sure that Allen's still alive, still real.
"Allen," Link says, and although the word is flat and unremarkable, Allen can tell it's a question.
"Yeah," Allen smiles up at him weakly. "It's still me."
Link doesn't smile, or nod, or do anything but pull Allen into a crushing embrace, his eyes falling closed as he holds him. Allen smiles and wraps his arms around Link in turn.
A moment later, though, Link seems to remember himself and lets Allen go, but he clings to Allen's shoulders for a few seconds longer before relinquishing him completely. He nods at Kanda, who inclines his head respectfully.
"Bookman, Miss Lee," he addresses Lavi and Lenalee, almost as an afterthought. (Lenalee nods in response, but Lavi freezes at being thus addressed, the first time in his life he has been so).
Silence has barely settled around them but already Link and Allen are on the same page. Allen knows that Link would stay with him, that some part of Link wants to stay with him. But Allen also knows that where he truly wants and needs to be is with the Thirds, although his sense of loyalty will not let him go without permission.
"Link," Allen says, and when Link looks up at him, the sheer pride in his eyes is startling.
"Go to them," Allen tells him softly, and Link doesn't need to say "Thank you" for Allen to hear it.
Sheets cover the dead, but it is clear from the scarcity of those left standing who is under them: Most of the Finders, Reever, Madarao, Chaozii, Miranda, General Socalo, and three Exorcists from other branches.
Allen, Kanda, Lavi, and Lenalee stand together at their feet, heads bowed.
Kanda takes Lenalee's hand, and she does not cry.
Headquarters is largely undamaged: Most of the fighting happened elsewhere, and the damage that the Cathedral did incur in its few early skirmishes was nothing too out of the ordinary. After a week or so of repairs, it will be as good as new.
Most of the Order lives there even while the repairs are being done: The entire European Branch returns, and only the higher-up officials of other branches return to their own HQs to assist in their own repairs.
Everyone helps out, and the four of them work together, quietly hesitant about letting each other out of their sights. It's late by the time Komui suddenly appears to fuss over them, and he sends them off to bed without another word.
They linger at the top of the staircase, none of them making any move to part ways and return to their own rooms. No one says anything, but after a moment Allen takes Kanda's hand and leads them off, the other two following without being told.
They wind up in Allen's old room.
Link's bed is still there but they ignore it, Allen and Lenalee sitting on the edge of Allen's and Kanda taking the floor next to Allen's legs. Lavi leans against the adjacent wall, close to them but still visibly separate.
That unspoken tension still holds even now, and they all know where this could go-where this has been heading for some time now. Still, if any one of them made a move to just curl up together on the bed and go to sleep, they would all follow suit without question or complaint, content with just being together. But no one does, and the silence starts to get suffocating the longer it goes on.
Abruptly, Kanda swings himself up off of the floor, coming to stand in front of Allen. Three sets of eyes follow the movement, and Allen looks up at him with the smallest of smirks, his eyes dancing in the dim light.
Kanda leans down and kisses him without preamble. The familiarity of it is obvious and it surprises Lenalee and Lavi, for all that they'd suspected. They had noticed from the moment Allen and Kanda returned that the two of them pretty much refused point-blank to be apart, and that although they spoke less than they ever had, they were more in tune than ever before. And they were tactile with each other, constantly in each other's space, communicating with lingering touches and subtle gestures. Lenalee and Lavi both assumed that this was an inevitable result of months together on the run, but they only had some idea of how deep it all went.
They stay close even after they break apart, Kanda resting his forehead against Allen's, the two of them breathing the same air. Allen reaches up and gently brushes his knuckles across Kanda's cheek, and he leans up to kiss Kanda quickly on the lips before they both turn to look at Lenalee beside them.
Allen smiles at her as Kanda straightens up and steps over to stand in front of her, as well. Lenalee lifts her face to meet his gaze and Kanda is momentarily taken aback by how happy she looks, how he's never seen this kind of visible contentment in her stature before. He's hit with a wave of fierce protectiveness, and more purposefully than he did with Allen, he leans down and kisses her, too.
Allen takes her hand in the middle of it, and when Kanda breaks off Lenalee can't help but smile up at him while she catches her breath. Kanda smiles back at her (kind of stupidly, Allen thinks fondly) and any tension that was between them is gone now, something that just feels right settling down in its place.
They're all kind of caught up in finally being together, but they know that something is still missing. The three of them turn their heads in unison to look at Lavi, who's watching them expressionlessly.
Lavi didn't have any illusions about where this was going when he followed the three of them into this room, of course he didn't: He's better at reading the signs than just about anybody. But even though he knew this was going to happen he's still terrified that it is, and a large part of him wants to leave before it goes any further because he's Bookman now and he certainly can't be doing this-the Panda would kill him if he knew-and he's terrified that he let himself get into this situation and that he wants it as badly as he does.
Because he knows that he shouldn't, that he can't; but his whole life is spread out in front of him and at this very moment he wants nothing more than to say "Fuck it," to denounce his identity and what he's supposed to be because this-these people-are what he truly wants. He knows he's being selfish but he doesn't fucking care, because in all of human history there have never been people like the ones in front of him right now and he thinks that maybe they are worth risking everything he has worked for.
It's too late anyway, he thinks sardonically. He has already broken Bookman laws; the emotional damage has already been done, whether he acts on it or not. He can walk away from this and dwell on it forever, or he can do this now and not regret it. Either choice seems so unreal to him that he decides to just do what he wants-and fuck, if that isn't the scariest, most forbidden thing he's ever done.
But then Kanda is walking towards him and suddenly Lavi is hit with blind panic, because it's actually happening now and it's completely out of his control and he doesn't know what to do: He has never trained for something like this and when Kanda stops mere inches in front of him, Lavi has to avert his gaze because he has spent the last twelve years of his life repressing the kind of emotion that he sees in Kanda's eyes. It's too much, it's way too much all at once because Lavi recognizes it; he loves this boy in front of him and he wants nothing more than to express that, but he still feels paralyzed with both fear and uncertainty.
But then Kanda takes Lavi's chin in his hand and gently tilts Lavi's face back up to his.
The feel of Kanda's fingers on his skin sends sparks through Lavi's whole body and every instinct he possesses screams at him to stop.
He ignores them.
He lets himself be touched although he still doesn't move, still hesitant to start something he shouldn't even want. But he sees the challenge in Kanda's eyes and is powerless against it; he knows that any objection he might mount is nominal, and nothing else. Because he loves these people, and long gone are the days when he could ever tell himself otherwise. He loves them, and he will do anything now to be able to keep them.
Kanda leans in and kisses him.
Lavi's eyes fall shut almost immediately, but otherwise he doesn't respond, still held immobile by an impulse he can't quite fight.
But then Kanda starts to pull away, and Lavi's consciousness shrinks to this one moment, to this one thing, and he reacts all at once. His eyes snap open and he reaches out to wrap a hand around the back of Kanda's skull, hauling him back in. His fingers tangle possessively in Kanda's hair as he kisses him, and his other arm snakes around Kanda's waist, keeping him where he is.
Kanda growls, low and satisfied, and his hand trails from Lavi's chin down to his throat, a barely-there pressure on his windpipe that Lavi can feel every time he breathes. He gives in to Kanda with all of the emotion that he's been ridding himself of for the better part of his life, and suddenly he wants more: He needs all of them, and he pushes up against Kanda to mean they should get to the bed.
Allen and Lenalee had observed the exchange with bated breath, and they watch Lavi closely as he approaches them, trailing just slightly behind Kanda, who is leading him with their fingers loosely entwined.
Kanda sits down next to Allen, his fingers slipping from Lavi's, and Allen smiles at him, strangely proud. Kanda leans in to peck quickly at his lips, a silent acknowledgment, before they all turn their attention back to Lavi.
It's clear to them from his expression that despite his conviction, Lavi is still overwhelmed and just a little bit terrified, but they understand how huge this is, that in the course of one night he's broken the pledge that he had sworn to live by.
As unassumingly as she can, Lenalee reaches out and takes Lavi's hand, smiling up at him sort of sadly but with such genuine happiness that Lavi is there, with them, that it calms him down just enough for him to make the first move. He squeezes in between her and Allen on the bed, and lifts his hand to cup Lenalee's cheek with slightly trembling fingers. She leans into the touch, and Lavi guides her forward to press his lips gently against hers.
She holds the chaste kiss for only a few seconds, and Lavi responds immediately when she opens for him, licking into her mouth. She tilts her head to deepen the kiss, her fingers coming up to tangle in the hair at the nape of his neck.
When they break apart some moments later, Lavi rests his head against her temple, eyes closed and content, thinking of nothing but the present.
"My turn," Allen says impatiently after another minute, and Kanda scoffs indignantly at his complete lack of tact. But Lenalee laughs, and Lavi smiles for pretty much the first time since he was rescued and gladly turns to face Allen, ready for it when Allen lunges at him, wrapping his arms around Lavi's neck.
The kiss is sort of sloppy but neither of them minds; it's only when Allen almost head-butts Kanda trying to pull Lavi down on top of him that they finally break apart, Allen's weak "Sorry, Kanda" obscured by his snigger.
"Tch," Kanda says brusquely, after having swerved out of the way. He takes this moment to push himself fully back onto the bed and settle down on the far side, propping himself up on his elbow.
"Come here, Lavi" he says, reaching out, meaning to pull Lavi down next to him, but Lavi stays where he is, frozen awkwardly half-draped over Allen's body.
"Bookman," Lavi says, although it's a token correction and it sounds tried, even to his own ears.
The tension that falls over the four of them is nevertheless palpable, but Kanda refuses to let Lavi dwell on this, refuses to give Lavi a reason to hate himself for what he's doing.
"Lavi," he repeats pointedly, the challenge in his voice almost imperceptible but still intractably there.
The silence holds for a minute longer and a large part of Lavi is still recoiling from their flagrant disrespect of Bookman laws and the knowledge of his own failure within them; but after another long moment, Lavi sighs and shakes his head, resigned to whatever fate he now has.
He pushes back onto the bed, sitting cross-legged near Kanda's knees.
"Tha's not actually my name, y'know," he says with a smile, trying to make a joke, trying to dispel what tension still lingers, but his smile is more sad than amused.
Allen turns towards him. "What is your name?" he asks, with the near-reverent tone of someone who knows what it is to be without one.
"I don't-" Lavi hesitates, not sure how to articulate centuries of Bookman tradition, practices that are beyond time. "I don't have one," he says finally, not only because it's true, as far as it goes, but also because it's easier than telling them he doesn't remember.
"Lavi, then," Lenalee says like the matter is settled, and Lavi thinks that maybe it is.
"Now come here," Kanda all but growls, breaking the tension once and for all, and Lavi can't help it-he laughs.
"All right, calm down," he says teasingly, and unfolds his limbs to sprawl on his back beside Kanda.
Lavi looks up at him, and he tilts his head in the smallest of nods, approving. They hold their gaze for a few more seconds, and then Lavi is surging up to meet his mouth when Kanda leans down to kiss him. Lavi drags him back down with hands cupping his face, and Kanda rolls over and collapses onto him bonelessly.
He bites at Kanda's bottom lip, running over it with his tongue. Kanda groans into Lavi's mouth, his tongue pressing insistently against Lavi's teeth until Lavi opens for him, letting him inside. Kanda pushes himself up onto his elbows so he can thread his fingers through Lavi's hair, angling Lavi's head for better access to his mouth.
He suddenly gets an idea and has to try not to grin. Accidentally-on-purpose, he catches his nails against Lavi's skull, scraping down and away from Lavi's face in even lines.
Lavi immediately breaks off the kiss to let out a strangled moan. "Fuck," he says appreciatively, voice low, as Kanda does it again, harder this time. He butts his head against Kanda's hands like a cat, and then he hears Lenalee giggle.
He spares a glance around Kanda's shoulder to the foot of the bed. Lenalee has tucked her knees up and Allen is resting between her legs, her arms slung loosely over his shoulders and across his chest. They're watching him with identical smiles.
"What? Feels good," he declares shamelessly, smiling up at Kanda, who ducks down to place a chaste kiss at his temple.
"Hey," he says, after another minute has passed. He's looking at Kanda but addressing all of them when he asks, not a trace of embarrassment in his voice, "Can we just sleep?"
"Of course," Kanda replies without hesitation. "I'm fucking exhausted, anyway," he adds.
"Yeah, me too," Lenalee agrees, nodding.
"Same," is Allen's response.
Lavi nods gratefully. "Okay." Then, more playfully, "Get over here, you two," leveled at Allen and Lenalee, who spring up immediately like they were only waiting to be asked.
"Covers," Allen reminds them practically, as he shuffles on hands and knees towards them. Kanda rolls his eyes, but he and Lavi rearrange themselves and slide under them.
Allen stops about halfway up the bed and sits on his heels to look back at Lenalee. "Miss Lee," he announces gravely, bowing his head and making an exaggerated, sweeping hand gesture to indicate that she should crawl in next.
Lenalee stops where she is, and rather than pushing past him and getting into bed, she sizes Allen up with a mischievous glint in her eyes. Allen freezes sort of awkwardly when Lenalee just keeps looking at him, and his entertainer façade visibly slips a little in bewilderment.
Lavi snorts at Allen's obvious (and oblivious) confusion.
"Wha-?" Allen begins, but then Lenalee pounces, more or less tackling him flat onto the bed.
"Oh," he says, a huge grin starting to turn up the corners of his mouth. "Hi."
"Hi," Lenalee responds breathlessly, grinning back at him. Allen starts to lift his head, and Lenalee meets him halfway. She kisses him once quickly, and then can only smile against his lips, not wanting to pull away. But when Allen flicks his tongue out to trace the curve of her mouth, she melts down into him, her giddiness abruptly replaced by need.
Allen's hand comes up to settle on her hip and she rocks into him almost imperceptibly, kissing him more intently. Almost without conscious thought, Allen bends his knees a little, spreading his legs just enough for Lenalee to settle between them. She hoists herself up his body a little more, bringing the kiss to a better angle.
Allen cuts off a moan when it's still in his throat, and breaks off the kiss while he still can. Lenalee nestles into the curve of Allen's shoulder and her warm breath on his skin makes Allen shiver.
"You young'uns about done?" Kanda deadpans, looking over at them. Allen takes one look at his completely expressionless face and cracks up from where he's still trapped under Lenalee's body. "Some of us are trying to sleep."
"You two aren't that old," Lenalee scoffs, lifting her head from Allen's neck and reaching over to swat Kanda playfully on the arm. She picks herself up and scoots over to Lavi, slipping her legs under the covers and dropping down on top of him instead. She leans up and kisses him on the cheek, his arms wrapping around her waist.
"And 'trying to sleep,' please," Allen adds, getting under the covers in turn. "It's not like you weren't enjoying the show."
"Mmm. Man's got a point," Lavi concedes, to no one in particular.
Allen doesn't miss Kanda's smirk.
It's a tight fit, but they fall asleep like that, woven seamlessly together.
Morning finds them in the same position, limbs still entwined. Kanda wakes first before sunrise, but the others soon follow, stretching lazily against each other as sunlight begins streaming through the laths on Allen's window.
They are decently well-rested, considering the previous weeks, but they stay in bed for a little while longer, dozing on and off, content to just be.
Allen's growling stomach ruins the mood.
"Of course," Kanda scoffs, while they drag themselves out of bed, the fondness in his tone nevertheless evident. "You're always hungry."
They each stop by their own rooms to change clothes and freshen up before heading down to the cafeteria.
Jerry has the kitchens in full swing when they arrive, wailing about malnutrition and probable starvation and something about how he needs to nurse these poor kids back to health.
The four of them take the end of a table closer to Jerry's window ("Easy access," Allen had explained) and while they greet the other Order members as they arrive, their attention is focused on each other.
Komui stops by their table not long after to give them their orders, which are unsurprisingly to assist with the cleanup effort. They are assigned to the labs-one of the hardest hit areas-and they breathe a collective sigh of relief that they will be working together. Before he leaves, Komui says that he's thrilled to see them looking so happy; and then he hurries off, wiping at his eyes suspiciously.
They work mostly non-stop over the next two days, but by the end the labs are cleaned of debris and what could be salvaged has been removed and inventoried. Their workload slowly dwindles, and the influx of free time allows them to start thinking about other things.
They've gone no further than they did that first night, but it is obvious now to all of them that this will soon change.
Allen, Kanda, and Lenalee had had one terrifying moment of panic the first time Lavi had been addressed as "Bookman" at Headquarters, as they'd checked in with Johnny in the labs on that first morning.
They hadn't wanted to draw more attention to it than necessary, but the three of them froze in their tracks, glancing nervously at Lavi and trying to gauge his reaction. He'd visibly stiffened at the title, but his face was eerily serene as he acknowledged the address. They'd been worried that such a sudden and unexpected reminder of his true identity would cause him to second-guess his decision and thus regret his actions, but as they walked to their station he'd caught each of their eyes, silently reassuring them that nothing had changed.
More than one person had commented on how well they all seemed to be taking things, and while each of them had offered their own personal reasons for that, they knew it was because of each other.
By noon of the second day, none of them had been focusing wholly on their work. They'd found themselves stealing sidelong glances at each other, inventing reasons to work near each other, sitting closer and closer together on their increasingly frequent breaks.
By the end of the third day, it was almost unbearable. They knew that they'd been growing careless, but it was getting harder and harder for them not to touch, not to fall into each other the way they did behind closed doors.
The more time that went by the more anxious they became, until even Allen was all too willing to throw down his dinner plates before he was finished, the four of them excusing themselves and making a hasty retreat.
Retiring to Allen's room already feels natural in a way it shouldn't after so short a time, and it is that, more than what they've finally come here to do, which prompts Lavi to speak.
He holds back just inside the door, waiting for the others to settle down. They sprawl out together on the bed, but look up at Lavi curiously when they realize he's still standing.
"I can't stay," he tells them, seemingly apropos of nothing, but they stay silent and wait for him to continue. "I have a job to do and I mean to do it, but-" he falters, looking at each of them in turn and wondering-not for the first time, and most certainly not for the last-why it feels so right to belong to them.
"But I don't have to leave just yet," he finishes, and one by one, they smile.
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