Hello? Are you, like, there God? It's me, Poland 2/?
August 23
Warsie,
I’m in serious trouble. I was like, totes excited about that silly online citizenship for this weird country near Sweden, but then I read some news and went “Oh holy molly” on my laptop. Like, seriously. Who knew that it was all a faux? And I, like, totally put real data in there! I AM SO FREAKING DEAD.
I knew I should have believed all those “internet should not be trusted so easily” nonsense that they keep putting up exactly EVERYWHERE. I have now learned my lesson the hard way. I totally hope they won’t use my address (why did I put daddy’s address there? I should have put the address of one of those apartments mom and I stayed while on the run).
I like, knew I shouldn’t bother about that right now. I mean, if they are actually just lying, they’re no harm, right? RIGHT? Oh please answer me Warsie…please Warsie tell me what to do…
Little Pole of mine, aren’t you happy with your dual citizenship??? Why did you have to be fooled with that?
Daddy, I already told you not to peak into my diary!
These are the times when I wish I had a different daddy. Someone who, like, couldn’t influence me with his gayness? I wouldn’t have all those dirty thoughts and dreams about that Canadian- er, whatever.
August 26
Warsie,
Guess what! I like, went with Toris to this cool concert in school and I saw my-erm, crush there! I mean, yeah!! He was there, he was there, he was really there! And I was able to smell his scented shampoo! Though it’s odd that he smells like roses (like, literally), he still looks so cool! I swear I didn’t even listen to any of the songs that the different bands there played; I was busy pulling Toris to wherever Mr. Bonnefoy-Kirkland went. However, even through all of that trouble I failed to have even just a small glimpse of his face in close-up…
And isn’t it odd if that girl kept pulling him totally EVERYWHERE? I’d have to investigate more…
I think I’m totally obsessed…
August 27
Classroom, pretty sure it’s 9 AM
Guess what? I'm starting my classes today! And the best part of it is: I'm sitting beside my crush!
If I thought he was handsome from afar (I sound like a stalker all of a sudden), then now, up close, he's MINDBLOWING HOT! I mean, his chair is, like, totally beside mine and the everytime the soft light from the sun hits his skin, he glows! HE GLITTERS! LIKE EDWARD~~~oh gawd, and he's a hell lot hotter than Robert Pattinson too!
This is the best day of my life.
Classroom, break time
I must, MUST, play hard to get. YES. And I must be shy. YES. Go Feliks! YOU CAN DO THIS!
Toris is in the same class with me, anyway, but we're not sitting near each other. He's somewhere at the other side of the room, so it's quite a challenge to not get caught passing notes. And it's totally annoying to have to slide the notebook to him when the floor isn't clean. Eew. I swear I feel this suspiciously short and curly hair sticking to the plastic cover of my notebook.
Maths
I love Trigo.
Meanwhile, Mr. Bonnefoy-Kirkland seems to have a hard time with it. But I like it when he's having a hard time. He doesn't notice me noticing him, and I wouldn't want to give notice to him that I am noticing him (INTENDED REDUNDANCY).
When he's having a hard time, he chews his lips. He pouts, chews agin, and smacks his head with his pencil. He's so cute~ He looks so much like a lost puppy to me, and I'm thinking about helping him. After all, Ms. Herdervary won't mind if I help my classmate in his seatwork, right?
Hmm...wait, he's not answering anymore...He's taking out a small notebook from his black bag and is writing something in it. Could it be his journal? Maybe we're not that different...
Note to self: Copy this to Warsie.
August 28
Classroom, 8:30 AM
Warsie,
Today is Mother Teresa's birthday.
Also read about the gigantic suicidal planet, WASP-18b, having an "ever-close tango to death" with its star, WASP-18. The planet is 10 times bigger than Jupiter, they say.
He's not here yet. Well, it's not like anyone with friends would go to class 30 minutes before class. Apparently, he has that crazy girl with him, though I hope she's not in the same class as us.
Wait, I don't even know if we have the same schedule! Cr*p!
Oh wait, Toris is here! Must hide!
September 9
Cafeteria
Warsie,
I know if you were a real person you'd be fuming at me right now for not updating about my life. I'm really sorry, but it's totally hard for me these days.
Now that my family is reunited, my parents don't seem to take care of me anymore. They let me do the house chores while they go on countless dates. Sometimes they leave the house and don't return until dawn. I don't mean to be, like, jealous or something since they're big kids already and are more capable in surviving than I am, but, I mean, why are they leaving me alone? Is it that now, after being together, they can run off like eloping teenagers? Something tells me they're giving a perfect example for me. But I totally have to have a boyfriend before I run off. Yes. I must. YES I SHOULD.
Speaking of BOYFRIENDS, I have finally talked to Matthew. YES. Matthew is his name. Matthew Williams Bonnefoy-Kirkland. I suspect he's the mellow one of the family since Alfred is, like, the spunky one. Well that's aaallll better for me!
He doesn't really seem bad at all. I mean, like, he's so adorable and cute that I can't believe he was male. I mean, yeah! Totally! He'd be better off a girl, and if he was, I surely would have been straight just for him. I also found out he got his curly hair from his Papa while Al got his unruly hair from his Daddy. It also strikes me odd that both brothers have blue eyes. Who knows how the h*ll that happened? Maybe they were really the children of their respective fathers before their fathers got together! Maybe they really aren't adopted!
I don't think men get pregnant. Well, my Biology class taught me that.
Ever heard of artificial wombs? Test tube babies? I just don't get how the gametes of the two fathers get to combine. Perhaps they had gene modification or something? Gamete change? Err...emptying an egg cell and inserting the DNA from one of the fathers' sperms? Oh dear.
I must look weird writing on a pink diary in the middle of the cafeteria. It's a good thing Toris isn't really minding and Al is as good as whatever.
September 11
Music class, 9:11 AM
Warsie,
OMG! I'm in Music class!
I mean, YEAH! My mom enrolled me in music class. And~ guess what! (You've had too much guessing, but whatev~) We're classmates again! Matthew and I are in the same class, and I actually didn't expect the kid to be good in music since he's so quiet, but he actually sings well! He's a soprano, I can tell just by hearing him sing "Amazing Grace" during the choir practice. His voice is very female, and it makes my smaller man twitch (eek I just said that!). I wonder if he's really gay...
I also did my research on his family, and I found out that they did have gene modification. For Al, they had Papa's genes molded to an egg cell, while for Matt (I had to cut it a bit) it was the other way around. I didn't know genetics went that far already, but their parents must be really intelligent and rich to be able to do that experiment.
I'll be praying for the people who perished in the Twin Towers bombing tonight.
September 15
Bedroom, 4;00 PM
Warsie,
I’m crying right now. I may look like a sissy, but yes. I am.
Just when I thought my life was already horrible, my mom had to post a sticky note on our fridge.
Feliks,
Daddy and I are going on our second honeymoon. We won’t be back for a whole month. Don’t worry baby boy; we left you some money and mommy’s credit card to survive. I’m confident you can cook well, and if you want Toris to sleepover, do so. The house is yours the whole month.
Hugs and Kisses,
Mommy
I feel really horrible. I have an extra copy of our house keys just in case I get home earlier than them, but when I found out I was left all alone, I don’t know. I just broke down and cried at the living room. Sometimes I wish Toris could come here and stay over, but it’s bad for me to ruin his now-fixed relationship with his parents. I feel like I should have befriended Matthew earlier and made him close to me. That way I won’t be feeling so bad.
I'm so sorry for not updating this sorry sooner than now! I actually found the author of "Are you there God? It's me, Canada" de-anon and so I decided to ask her about her opinion regarding my story. After I found that it was okay for her, I was inspired to get over my writer's block and wrote this!
I realized the time frame is really off, and I'm really sorry for that too. I need suggestions! Do you think I should fix the whole story and the dates and times so that they will correspond to jekaro 's storyline? This is going to be a MAJOR spin-off, to warn all of you. I don't fully base everything with her story, so I'm warning anyone who plans to ask about that: "THIS IS A SPIN-OFF. I HAVE A DIFFERENT STYLE, PLOT, and TIME FRAME with the original one."
Also, if you don't find it as funny, please tell me. I appreciate it when people criticize my works without flaming...
Thanks for reading!