Gotta love work emails ... Part.2
Aquinas - Two. One to mix the martinis and one to phone the electrician.
PLC - One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
MLC - Four. One to smash the glass ceiling so that they can get to the top of the ladder, one to install the globe and two to check that it's brighter than PLC's.
Guildford Grammar - Two. One to change the bulb and one to crack under the pressure.
Como High - two, one to smash the bulb the other to light the crack.
Perth College - Depends, could be one, could be ten, no-one is prepared to commit unless the Guildford Grammar boys are definitely going to be there.
Murdoch Uni - Six. One to change the bulb and five to support its sexual orientation.
Mercedes College - Five. One to change the bulb, two to reassure her that she doesn't look fat at the top of the ladder and two to circulate photos showing that she does.
Trinity - Sixteen. One to send out the invitations, two to get the beer, one to change the bulb, one to buy Ralph Lauren polos for everyone, two to smuggle the chicks in and one to keep watch for the boarding master. The second eight just need to be ready to back them up.
Swan Valley Christian School - Two. One human and God just to make sure the light shelters all in need, whether it be for food, shelter..blah blah blah...
Curtin Uni - Five. One to design a nuclear powered one that never needs changing, two to install it and one to write the computer programme that controls the switch, one to rig the vending machine
Safety Bay Senior High School- Eight. Six crazy girls dressed in black, and war paint on a mission. one doing the happy-dance, one driving the getaway vehicle, one holding the spray-paint cans, one saying how light bulbs are dolphin-friendly, two on the lookout, talking gibberish... then we run up & spray-paint the table, umm i mean change the light bulb... and two teachers to walk past sayin "Make sure u don't get any paint on those clothes."
WAAPA - Five. One to change the globe and four to do an interpretive dance about it.
Edith Cowan Uni - Eleven. One to change it and ten to share the experience.
Applecross Senior High - Two. One to change the bulb and one to write to the Sunday Times about how she did it as well as any private school student. Or none because everyone was killed when the buildings fell apart.
Swanview High - None. They're all down at Midland station having a ciggie.
Eastern Hills Senior High - Ten. One to change it and one to buy the hair gel to impress and ultimately lay the Swan View chicks, while the rest compete wiv da Christian Bruvvers for da turf (Midland Station).
Mirrabooka High - None. That hole looks better in the dark.
UWA - Fifteen. One to change it and the rest to walk around as if they own the place and talk it up.
Central College of TAFE - 20. One to change the bulb, two to pop down to the markets to buy wool to make a macrame jacquard shade for it in the new season's colours, one to photograph the naked bulb in-situ from 300 angles, three to arrange the art exhibition for the jacquard shade, the rest to make vapid comments and drink Great Western 'champagne' at the opening.
New Norcia College - None. Those poor bastards are keeping their backs to the wall even if it means standing in the dark.
St Brigid's College - Five, one to screw it in, two to laugh about the word screw and two to message the Mazenod boys about it.
Mazenod - Three, one to get word around that the St Brigid's girls are talking about a screw, one to replace the bulb and one to pray that they get it done in time to beat the local public school boys to the St Brigid's party.
Christ Church Grammar School - None. It's too hard to find a new globe with their Armani sunglasses on.
Notre Dame Uni - None. They brought notes from their guardians excusing them.
Penhros - Three. One to change it and two to make sure her hair ribbons are still in place afterwards.
Perth Modern - The entire school. One to remove the perfectly good globe, two to work out how to dispose of it so that it's dolphin safe, one to replace it with candles and the rest to sit on mats and express in words and music how they feel about the change.
St Mary's Anglican Girls School - The girl who answered the phone said she was pleased to be included with the other schools but probably would never know the answer because her Daddy had said to phone immediately if the maintenance man made any disgusting suggestions.
Iona Presentation College - Two. One to change the bulb and one to phone daddy to pay for it.
Balcatta High - Four. One to order a Venetian chandelier from her cousin Roberto who owns a lighting warehouse and imports from the old country, one to arrange delivery cause his sister's husband Tony has an uncle whose mate, Angelo, has a truck, one to put the squeeze on his neighbour Dominic the electrician because he owes him a favour and one to make sure everything is done cash.
Lumen Christi College - none, they'd just ignore it and put it on the list for everything else to be fixed.
Emmanuel Catholic College - None. they're all too busy staring at the yr 10 babe's g-strings.
John Forrest Senior High- None. You dont need light globes on a cricket pitch.
Wesley - 3 A young boy, principal and a cop (to arrest the principal for man handling the boy)
Pinjarra - We dont need one, everything glows from Alcoas emmisions.