I think you may also have a different definition of what counts as "a lot of hard work" from most people, it sounds like your baseline is communicating and taking account of one another's feelings, for many people that in itself counts as a lot of work and if they have to put in any effort or make any compromises thee is a 'problem'.
Is possible one of you is systematically repressing (or being repressed on) whatever disagreements he/she has. This can happen quite a lot when there's a huge difference in the perceived status of each partner, and the lower ranking one tend to agree all the time. Or maybe he/she have some type of very represses personality, that will eventually blow with fire and wrath in a few years
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