[VOICE with a splash image] --> The Jailhouse Night Club

[chose_death]

[A splash image appears at the start of the following announcement. The image is of a stylized male in an orange jumpsuit and ball-and-chain, kneeling before a provocatively-dressed female security guard. She is fashioned to be the equivalent of a whorish pin-up, her rounded buttocks curved, her breasts pushed out for the delight of the prisoner.

Comments

[ironfail]

(video)

[Tony starts laughing after about thirty seconds into the advertisement and can't stop. Even when he tries to talk afterwards, it's punctuated with bouts of laughter.] Holy shit. What did I just hear. You could stand to sound a little more excited about it, you know.

[chose_death]

VIDEO

[Tony may or may not be surprised to meet, face to face, the same man he ran into - quite literally - with an armful of groceries near one of the city's many teleporters. The man is equally as intense and cold through a video feed as he is in person. His right eyebrow arches lazily toward his hairline.]

Horrendous, wasn't it? [He snaps his fingers.] Imagine an even better case: that I am awarded for this. And asked to record more of these boyish scripts.

[ironfail]

[Tony's grin, is possible, gets even wider. Oh, this was the best surprise ever.]

That would...be a dream come true, honestly. A dream I never even knew I had until now. Who wrote this masterpiece, anyway?

[chose_death]

That would be courtesy of the Jailhouse management, [says Javert dryly.] With some minor... modifications. Of my own doing, I confess.

You may direct complaints in that general direction.

[ironfail]

Oh, no complaints at all. I'm thinking they should get a prize, actually. Best advertisement I've heard...possibly ever. Don't let them fire you from reading them, okay?

[chose_death]

Oh? [Javert asks lazily.] You really think so?

[His eyebrow flies up. The corner of his mouth twitches wryly.]

When will I expect your patronage, then?

[ironfail]

You should see the shit advertising we're bombarded with in 2012. At least this one had the potential for actual humor, and boy did you nail it.

[He's still smirking, because this whole situation will probably take at least a couple days of random snickering to get out of his system.]

Pepper might protest at that, unfortunately.

[chose_death]

Advertising is only good if it brings the lot of you in, [comes the wry reply.] Humor, indeed! Why, consult any of my colleagues. They swear I possess about as much humor as a rock in the mud, you see.

--It strikes me that a Madame called Pepper contacted me not long ago. On this topic.

[ironfail]

Really? I find you absolutely hilarious. [Javert is lots of fun to tease, at any rate.]

Ooh, do tell. What'd she say? I am not above a little petty gossip, come on.

[chose_death]

[His eyebrow flies up in a broad arch. He remarks lightly,] Nothing private. She was worrying about underage lads deflowering their virgin eyes on the premises. Well-to-do women do that. You will imagine I gave her my assurances.

--And I will mark that down for one man that appreciates a dry turn of the phrase. Do you take your whiskey that way also?

[ironfail]

Ha, she would complain about that! Poor naive Pepper, always fighting the impossible battles.

[Tony chuckles.] I take my whiskey any way it's offered to me.

[chose_death]

Oh, no. They are not impossible battles. Not under my watch. [Self-assured, isn't he?]

Shall I spare some of the dry stuff? In the event you change your mind.

[ironfail]

So you're what, club security? [Are you just going to wave your funny hat at people who misbehave?]

Never hurts to be prepared.

[chose_death]

Club security is my normal duty, yes. The advertising deal was a one-trick special. So sorry to disappoint.

[You'd be surprised just what this old former copper is capable of, Tony. Well. Whenever you do learn he's an old copper, if you haven't guessed it.]

Consider it done.

[ironfail]

How'd you get roped into that miserable job? [The security and the advertising, either one. Both don't sound very exciting at all.]

[chose_death]

No roping was necessary. I gave them a... compelling argument that my skills would be put to good use with them. It is not glamorous work, but my services suit.