(no subject)
Well, here we go again. It seems that some things are just not to be. Like, for example, an extended period of time interacting with my mother without being made to feel like shit.
Nice afternoon, out shopping, found a nice necklace for a bargain, found the fall/winter casual shoes I've been looking for for years (a seriously kickass, patent leather, shiny apple red that is going to be amazing with my overwhelmingly black wardrobe).
We're planning another expedition to a different place to get a couple different pieces we've seen, when she strikes out of the blue: "Without you getting offended" - because obviously I'm the one in the wrong with my silly feelings - "you should really wear a body shaper (n.d.a. I hope this is the corrct term, I'm Italian: think elastic girdle, like spanx) because when you walk I can see movement under your shirt."
So, I'm a fatass whose belly and debordant hips move around when I walk and I should wear a tight, uncomfortable, hot elastic thing to save the innocent masses from glimpsing the mere suggestion of my flesh and/or save myself from the embarrassment and shame of my overweight figure.
Because it's not like she knows I have self-esteem problems and a bad relationship with my body and I end up sobbing in a fitting room most of the times I go clothes shopping because nothing looks/feels right and her remarks do nothing but make me feel disgusted at myself because I know she is disgusted at me.
Oh, wait. She does. I've told her. Multiple times. Often choking it out in the midst of a hysterical crying jag.
But hey, she's doing it for me. I should not get offended.