Devil's Nest 7 | Sibling Rivalry | Backdated to Mid-Shroomfield

[all_ofthethings]

[Shortly after eating the omelet his drone wife had prepared, Greed found himself looking across the table, not at his drone wife, but at Martel. He practically leaps from his chair, earning himself looks of surprise from Loa and Dolcetto who were sitting where his drone children had been.]

You guys aren't here

We've always been here.

[That voice

Comments

[equal_shots]

[Really, everyone in town has been acting completely insane. And that is saying something, coming from Kid. Something here is going on, but he still hadn't figured out what it was. He and Soul were headed home from school when they walked past Greed's house--]

[And Kid barely ducked out of the way of a swinging mailbox. What the hell?!]

[cacophonicsoul]

[It was kind of hard to not notice everyone going batshit insane. He and Kid were in the same boat. Soul honestly had no idea what could have caused people to start reacting so... violently.

And what was with all the mushrooms everywhere? ... Could that be it? Probably just a coincidence, but at this point, well, it couldn't hurt to look into it.]

You know, I was thinking maybe it has something to do with all thes --

[Or maybe it would hurt. Who knows. Hard to say when someone SWINGS A MAILBOX AT YOU.

He jumps back, looking at Kid out of the corner of his eye, ready to transform as soon as he gave the word, his voice echoing Kid's thoughts.]

What the hell?! Hope you're a fast learner, dude. Something tells me you've never used a scythe before.

[all_ofthethings]

Why the hell are there two of you, baby brother?

[His first swing was wide, he gets closer for the second one and aims for the Bradley on the right. The one spewing blue from his mouth. What was that, a new trick? Why did it only happen when he talked?]

[equal_shots]

I have used a scythe before.

[And that was pretty high on the list of worst days of Kid's life ok? Ok?! And he probably would've said more, except for hello that's a mailbox coming at his skull. And, well, you know--heads are kind of important.]

[He really would've consented to trying. Honestly. Really. Until he took a second to look at their assailant.]

[And...this guy with the mailbox is really...he's really symmetrical, guys. So the best Kid's going to do now is duck out of the way from the mailbox in question. The very though of attacking this guy upsets him.]

[Sorry, Soul. You are stuck with a meister about 1,000,000 times more irrational than Black*Star.]

What are you talking about?! I've never even seen you before!

Soul I can't--he's beautiful! He's perfectly symmetrical, look; even the lines. I would be worthless trash if I destroyed that!

[luxuriality]

[ Lust immediately sharpens her nails and tosses them towards the mailbox in an attempt to slice it through. She seems pretty sarcastic as gets ready to fight Greed. ]

Sorry, Greed, you'll have to return to sender. [ He'll be going right back into daddy's glorious holy homonculus uterus. ]

[all_ofthethings]

[As soon as her spears emerge, he knows he's not dealing with Bradley, but Lust in some strange disguise.]

You're really trying to piss me off today, aren't you Sis?

[He picks up another sledgehammer and aims for those spears.]

[luxuriality]

[ She's not really in any strange disguise but seeing him act so enraged is definitely interesting, to her at least.

But, without missing a moment, she sends her nails towards the sledgehammer's shaft, hoping to completely slice it so he can't use it against her any longer. ]

Greed, I haven't heard for you in weeks. Are those hormones getting to you again?

[all_ofthethings]

Nah, I just haven't had you around to take out my anger on lately.

[Screw the weapons, he's got his shield, that's all he needs.]

[silvergoldengun]

[ Basco ducks the mailbox, and blinks, look at Greed in confusion. ]

You alright, Greed-chan? Y'look like you've seen a ghost.

[all_ofthethings]

Seen a ghost huh? You trying to taunt me on purpose?

[Another swing of the mailbox.]

I'll whack that Ultimate Eye right out of your head.

[silvergoldengun]

Huh? [ He ducks again. ] What're you talking about? I always tease you, y'know.

What's Ultimate Eye anyway?

[all_ofthethings]

Don't make me explain it to you, ya brat.

[Oh, there's another swing of his weapon.]

[jaws5sonofjaws]

[Mart takes the mailbox, smashing into his nigh invulnerable skin doesn't do much.

But it does surprise him that Greed would attack him out of the blue like that.]

Greed!?

Dude, what the fuck!?

[all_ofthethings]

This time I've got the advantage, baby brother. I know who you are.

[He tosses aside the ruined mailbox. Wait? Hadn't that been a sledgehammer a minute ago?]

He stares at it a moment, then realizes all the sledgehammers at the end of the driveways were never sledgehammers.

The hell is going on?

[jaws5sonofjaws]

You went batshit and tried to slug me with a mailbox!

[all_ofthethings]

You looked like my crazy sibling.

[evers_hacker]

[Thanks to the fact April can manipulate and control metal via electromagnetism, the mailbox will be stopping in midair before it hits her while she backs away from him.]

W-what the hell, Greed?!

[all_ofthethings]

[He tugs at the sledgehammer, to no avail, then looks in the direction of the voice that doesn't match up with the face he'd just seen.]

April?

[How could Bradley imitate her voice? Wait, no that wasn't Bradley.]

Where'd that prick with the eye-patch and swords go?

[evers_hacker]

I haven't seen anyone like that... [At this point, she's guessing that he's hallucinating; she's seen people act strange all day.]

... And just to let you know, I don't think a mailbox is gonna do much damage.

[all_ofthethings]

Really, he was just here...

[He looks around.]

What mailbox?

[His question fades away as he realizes he was never holding a sledgehammer.]

The hell is going one?