[exo] wishbone (6/6)
Wishbone (6/6)
Jongin/Kyungsoo
3885 words
Jongin wakes up to a world of EXO without a Do Kyungsoo. (Band-verse with a twist.)
For @dokyungsoo, the biggest KaiSoo enabler I know.
wishbone (6/6)
Jongin wakes up to the smell of breakfast in the air.
There’s a steady pounding inside his head and everything hurts. The window blinds are open and the sun is glaring brightly at him, the thin skin of his eyelids not enough to block it out. Jongin pauses and mumbles a quick curse at Moonkyu. The bed next to his is empty though so the curse falls in an almost empty room. He’s the last one out as usual.
He gropes for the table next to his and blindly pads through the room using the furniture to help him get around. It’s pretty alarming how his brain is devoid of memories from last night, but they’re slowly coming back to him - little pieces of information fleeting by like an old, creaky film. He remembers the cake, of course birthdays have to start with cakes, and then the off tune melody of their birthday song starts to filter in.
Jongin fumbles for the doorknob and twists it, exiting his bedroom and entering the hallway. The noise that greets him should have been the usual, but it is somehow more grating and louder than he’s used to. The elephants are back inside his head, stomping at his brain and chewing on the few memories that he has. He vaguely notices that the air around him is warm and cloying; stupid Baekhyun probably put the heater on too high.
The living room is a mess of people. Chanyeol and Baekhyun are playing a game, and Tao has secured himself a whole couch while watching the game unfold with mild interest.
Sleep comes first before food in Jongin’s list of priorities and Tao’s fortress of pillows looks particularly inviting right now. He stumbles in the living room, almost tripping on Junmyeon and his pile of fan letters in the process, and flops at the sofa with a loud, “UNF.”
“YAH,” Tao shouts at him, hands trying to push Jongin off. “You’re on my couch!”
“This is the common room for everyone,” Jongin mumbles tiredly.
“You’re in my personal bubble,” Tao says drawing an imaginary circle around him. “You’re invading my private space.”
“Guh,” Jongin retorts and grabs a pillow to cuddle with, which means that the conversation is over and there’s nothing Tao can do about it.
The noises around the room gradually start to turn into background fuzz and Jongin allows the memories to flow back into his brain. The flow isn’t really a flow though, it’s more like a scatter of images, cut and pasted in awkward angles then glued back into his brain in a messy video-type fashion.
There’s the cake and the birthday song followed by a few games and lots and lots of drinks. He remembers Moonkyu who kept transferring the soju from his cup to his own and groans, “I’m going to kill Moonkyu.”
“What did you say?” Junmyeon asks from where he’s sitting down on the floor.
“I’m going to kill Moonkyu,” Jongin repeats.
“Now, now,” Junmyeon says, “that’s not how you talk about your long time friend.”
Chanyeol snorts, eyes never leaving the game he’s playing. “What did he do now?”
“It’s for all the stupid he did last night,” Jongin replies. “I need to kill you, too, for all that alcohol, hyung.”
“What alcohol?” Junmyeon asks, looking scandalized and squinting at Chanyeol. Kris, who is sitting quietly on the other couch, lands him an intimidating stare.
“I didn’t do anything!” Chanyeol raises his hands up in surrender. “I was here in the dorm all night! And Jongin was here, too!”
“And I didn’t see Moonkyu here either,” Sehun adds. “Didn’t he mention that he was having his midterms this week?”
“It was just last night,” Jongin says groggily. “It was for my & Kyungsoo’s birthday.”
“Jongin-ah,” Junmyeon says gently, carefully, “your birthday was months ago.”
“But it was just last night,” Jongin says firmly. The fog inside his head is starting to clear up and his recollections are coming back faster. He starts to adjust with this new weight of knowledge. “We had a party here last night. Chanyeol-hyung even got me so drunk that I - “
He suddenly stops. That certain memory doesn’t come swift like a punch in the gut, but more like the soft crash of sea waves against rocks. He feels lightheaded suddenly, head swimming between his shoulders, sick with fear and guilt. When he closes his eyes the image of Kyungsoo, quiet and angry, sticks like an imprint at the back of his eyelids. He’s about to ask what happened when the door to their apartment opens.
“We bumped into our fans in the supermarket!” Kyungsoo exclaims, face flushed and hands full of grocery bags. Luhan looks the same beside him, expression contorted in unease and hair stuck in a frizzy, static mess. “I hope you guys didn’t let the food burn in the stove.”
They stop talking when they noticed the cluster of people in the living room and the worried glances people are giving Jongin.
“What’s up?” Luhan asks.
“I think the summer heat is getting to him,” Kris explains. “We really should get that air conditioner fixed.”
Jongin wants to say that it can’t possibly be summer when it was just the dead of winter last night, but the concerned expression on Kyungsoo’s face gnaws at his insides. He’s not worthy of that. He twists away and his gaze lands on the calendar on their wall.
The label on the paper says that it’s June and the year is off by negative one. He starts to reel back with a sense of déjà vu, that this has happened before except now it’s in reverse. He looks back at Kyungsoo and he finally notices it, the difference in his gaze lacking that special spark he used to see in him, and it hits him: this is not the Kyungsoo he nurtured and loved in the past few months, not the Kyungsoo he betrayed.
---
It takes a five-hour nap for Jongin to recollect his senses and bring him back to reality. Earlier, when he went back to his room to rest with a steaming bowl of rice porridge that Kyungsoo had cooked, he tried to subtly acquire information from them without looking like he’s ready to enter a psychiatric facility.
From what he gathered, he can safely assume that he’s back in the original timeline on the exact day that he woke up and realized Kyungsoo was gone several months before.
In this world, Google easily comes up with answers when he types in “D.O. EXO-K” and there is no crushing guilt that haunts him every night. In this world, Do Kyungsoo is D.O. and that boy doesn’t love him.
He doesn’t know which reality hurts more.
---
The world doesn’t stop and their schedules continue to pile up. It’s a little weird, Jongin thinks, knowing what would happen in the future and what kind of opportunities would be presented to their group and reliving it a second time around.
Having Kyungsoo with him is the odd factor that makes the difference in this new timeline. He’s also the sad reminder of what happened and what could be. Sometimes, Jongin wonders if it was all just a long, incredibly realistic dream. The more the days pass, the more the scenes continue to fade a little on the edges and replaced with the new ones from this world, and Kyungsoo seems farther away and out of his reach.
---
It happens often, Jongin would offer his hand and Kyungsoo would accept it, his touch slightly electrifying and strange. They’re back in the dance studio now practicing their latest choreography for a Samsung advertisement and Kyungsoo is sitting against the wall, heaving large gulps of air. He seems to be having a hard time mastering the choreography but Jongin memorizes it easily enough, knows it from a different life.
“Come on,” Jongin offers his hand and a warm smile. “I’ll help you, hyung.”
Kyungsoo throws back an easy grin, fits his hand into his and groans while he gets up, muscles aching in all the wrong places. “Please be kind to me, Jongin-nim,” Kyungsoo teases.
Jongin guides him through the steps, hands shifting across Kyungsoo’s arms and body, turning them into curves and angles. Kyungsoo’s actions and expressions are so familiar to him but detached, his laugh genuine yet distant like a reminder of the past or another lifetime.
Maybe this is his punishment, Jongin thinks, realizing what he wanted too late only for it to be taken away.
---
It’s Taemin who ends up dragging him out for an intervention.
“You’ve been moping,” Taemin states.
“I’m not,” Jongin replies, hands curled around his cup of coffee. It’s pretty ironic that Taemin picks out the same obscure café that Jongin had taken him into when he revealed his secret.
“Your opinion doesn’t matter because all eleven of your members have come up to me with the same conclusion.” Taemin leans back on his chair and sips his Caramel Macchiato. “So what’s the problem?”
“There’s no problem,” Jongin grunts and picks at the thread of his jeans.
“Jongin,” Taemin starts, “they’re worried about you. They said you’ve been distant lately. What’s wrong?”
Jongin stops what he’s doing and looks at Taemin. “I’m not going insane.”
“I never said you were,” Taemin frowns.
“I know. I just wanted to preface what I’m about to tell you with that just in case you decide to run away from me.”
“Okaaay,” Taemin says slowly, a little unsure.
So Jongin tells him. He starts from the very beginning about the wishbone and Moonkyu’s involvement and Kyungsoo’s disappearance and everything that happened since then. The more Jongin tells him, the lighter his burden feels, relief gently streaming into his system. It feels a lot like a confessionary: these are the things I’ve done and these are my lies and my sins, someone please forgive me.
By the time he finishes his story, Taemin is kneading his forehead with his fingers and says, “I need another cup of coffee,” before standing up to walk to the counter.
Jongin counts up to ten and looks up to check if Taemin has run away, but the other is still there in the counter and paying for his coffee. Jongin sighs and worries at his bottom lip instead.
“So what’s the problem then?” is the first thing that comes out of Taemin’s mouth when he returns. “You’re back, Kyungsoo’s back and it’s as if the whole thing never happened. The whole fiasco with the wishbone never came true.”
“What if,” Jongin asks, voice low and trembling, “I left the real Kyungsoo in the other world?”
Taemin looks at him skeptically for a moment before smacking him over the head. “Stop making your life more like a kdrama when it’s not.”
“Really,” Jongin insists. “What if after he punched me I was transported back here and he’s left all alone there?” He could feel the slight prickling behind his eyes and the guilt lodging up his throat.
“Stop,” Taemin shoves his palm at Jongin’s face. “You’re overcomplicating things. Why can’t you just accept that everything’s back to the way it was? Didn’t you wish for this? Stop making your guilt fuel you into imagining things.”
“It’s just that…” Jongin looks at his hands and swallows hard. “How come I’m the only one who remembers?”
“Isn’t it better this way? At least he doesn’t remember what you did.”
“I know but,” Jongin looks at Taemin, “you told me in the other world that if I tell him then maybe he’d forgive me. But now there’s nothing to forgive and he doesn’t have any of our memories together. There’s nothing for him to…” Jongin trails off.
“To love you?” Taemin supplies. “If that’s what you’re worried about then the answer is pretty simple.” Taemin stares at him thoughtfully.
“Make him fall in love with you again.”
---
It’s not that simple.
For one thing Kyungsoo became close to him because they shared a secret and united over the same history. In this world, Kyungsoo is part of the gang and he has the 93-line to joke around with. They may be close as roommates, but it’s not the same kind of shared intimacy that they had before.
Kyungsoo’s heart is divided for several people, and Jongin knows Kai has a place there, but what he wants to know is if there’s a big enough space for Kim Jongin to stay.
---
Time flies faster when you know what’s going to happen and pretty soon it’s their comeback all over again. Jongin’s hair dips back into red and they’re sized and outfitted into different, glittering costumes and shuttled from location to location.
Practice hours are longer and voice rehearsals are grittier. When their vocalists come back from an all night session completely drained and exhausted, Jongin seizes the opportunity.
“Hey,” Jongin says and offers Kyungsoo’s prone form a large steaming cup of tea.
Kyungsoo opens one eye and peers at him from the bed. “What’s that?”
“Ginger tea with honey for your throat.” Kyungsoo rearranges himself on the bed and accepts it, blows and takes a small sip while making soft keening sounds that make Jongin smile.
“Thanks,” Kyungsoo says after a while, voice still sounding a little hoarse. And when Kyungsoo looks up, Jongin sees it - that small glimmer of spark in his eyes and that smile that used to be so familiar, and a tiny flicker of hope flares somewhere in Jongin’s chest.
---
So Jongin begins his Operation Woo Kyungsoo. It’s Taemin that christens it with that unholy name because he reasons out that the title perfectly shows its purpose. Jongin lets him only because he’s the only person who would listen without thinking he’s going crazy.
He does the whole subtle enchilada: he becomes more attentive to Kyungsoo’s needs, always ready with a bottle of water and a towel on his hand and a free shoulder to lean on when they shuttle from one location to another. There are other stuff, too, openings that present itself to Jongin on different occasions. At one point, he evens wakes up really early to prepare breakfast just for Kyungsoo while battling against their nosy members’ questions and wandering hands.
(“Thief,” Jongin hisses as Chanyeol steals a hard-boiled egg.
“Watch your mouth, dear Obi-wan Kainobi,” Chanyeol says as he bites on the egg. “I’ve got a few years ahead of you.”
“I hope you choke,” Jongin mutters darkly.”)
What’s even weirder than Jongin’s antics is the way Kyungsoo reciprocates to his actions. At first Kyungsoo accepts things with the same gratitude he’s given him in years, close but casual. But the more he does things, the more Kyungsoo opens up to him bit by bit, Kyungsoo’s replies and reactions becoming more similar with how he was in their past life together. He thinks his efforts are worth it when he feels the distance between them is getting shorter and shorter, the path home becoming less tangled and more even.
When the news of their Thailand trip becomes official, Jongin thinks that this is his best bet for his second chance.
---
Being on an elephant is like being on a boat, body swaying softly side by side, except there’s no feeling of the soft waves of the water underneath, just hard and sturdy ground.
Kyungsoo’s busy taking photos of the scenery with his phone when he suddenly drags Jongin’s arm so that they can take a picture together instead. They make their signature pose, heads tilted and cheeks pressed against each other.
“Say kimchi!” Kyungsoo laughs.
“Kimchi,” Jongin says, beaming at the camera.
Kyungsoo checks their photo and fiddles with his phone. He glances at Jongin briefly. “This feels like a date,” Kyungsoo whispers, grinning, “a really exotic one.”
Jongin is quiet for a while, the air knocked right out of him. This is almost like a reflection of how they were before.
“It is,” Jongin picks his words out carefully, hand tightening around Kyungsoo’s, eyes desperately trying to tell a story, “if you want it to be.”
---
Jongin doesn’t know what came over him. Maybe it’s the feeling of being in a different country, that slight feeling of freedom from his inhibitions and getting a natural high from the day’s events. Or maybe it’s how they were laughing while stumbling back into their hotel room after being caught by their managers holding an illegal party hosted by Chanyeol. Or maybe it’s how Kyungsoo looks right now, happy and serene as he washes his face in the bathroom. But whatever it is, Jongin puts down his toothbrush and blurts out, “I like you.”
Kyungsoo stares at him through the mirror, his image showing a mask of surprise before blinking back into his casual reserve. “I know,” Kyungsoo says.
He turns to look at Kyungsoo directly. “You do?”
“I’ve always known,” Kyungsoo says turning to him. “I’ve known it from a lifetime ago.”
The thick lump is back in Jongin’s throat, threatening to spill out of his mouth and all over the floor.
“You remember?” Jongin asks even though he already knows the answer. It’s written in Kyungsoo’s eyes. There’s a blanket of fondness, and underneath it is something deeper that’s strangely familiar mixed with the simmering anger he’s seen all those weeks ago. Everything suddenly clicks inside Jongin’s head. The repetitions in this timeline weren’t just mere coincidences, but little clues left for him.
“I remember,” Kyungsoo whispers.
Jongin ends up doing the first thing that comes to mind: he runs.
---
In the weeks that follow, Jongin avoids Kyungsoo as best as he can, the guilt finally catching up to him. He logs extra hours practicing their choreography in the company building and goes home only when he’s sure that Kyungsoo’s asleep. He exchanges rooms with Chanyeol after Chanyeol complained again on how Baekhyun sets their room’s heater too high. He keeps at least one body space away from Kyungsoo, always an arms length away, but still managing to be out of reach. Sehun is pretty useful sometimes.
There are times when he sees Kyungsoo trying to come up to him, but he always notices him first and makes a subtle getaway before things get messy. It has now become a habit to Jongin: one step from Kyungsoo, two steps back for him.
He thinks, this is what I wanted - I wanted him to remember, and thinks that this is another wish gone wrong.
---
The days are shorter, and the skies are darker as November slopes into December. Jongin doesn’t remember Christmas being this oppressive, the decorative lights and swarm of people rushing to get things done overwhelming him. He remembers a warm Christmas spent with someone special but that feels like a long time ago.
When EXO are invited to perform in SBS’s Christmas Festival, he isn’t surprised. He’s used to knowing how things go from here. So it comes as a surprise when during the performance, he twirls around for the ending pirouette but his foot misses what should have been the stage.
He doesn’t even remember landing on the ground before everything turns black.
---
When Jongin wakes up, it’s to the smell of sterility and chemicals. He’s lying in a bed surrounded by white and Kyungsoo is on a chair beside him, his head tucked on his arms on the bed. He hopes he’s not in another dimension; that seems to be the usual choice of fate for him when he gets injured and whenever Kyungsoo is concerned.
“Hi,” Jongin croaks out when Kyungsoo stirs up.
“Hey,” Kyungsoo smiles at him sleepily, “you’re awake.”
“Yea,” Jongin replies. He looks at the clock by the wall that says it’s a little bit past midnight. It’s that magic hour when things happen, Jongin thinks, as Kyungsoo leans over and arranges the bandage wrapped around his forehead. There’s a slight throbbing there, but the area feels mostly numb.
“I’m sorry,” Jongin says, staring at his hands. He really means it this time. There’s no alcohol pulsing in his veins, just that slight resignation of the rejection that’s about to come.
Kyungsoo drops his hands and starts playing with the frayed ends of the cotton blanket. “Taemin told me this story,” Kyungsoo begins, “about a stupid boy and his wishbone and how he wished Someone away.”
Kyungsoo’s lips quirk up a bit, amused and wary at the same time. “He told me how much the boy regretted his wish, that it was just an accident and how he tried his best to make things right. And he did - at least for a while. But the boy didn’t know how to say things and he’s always had the worst timing so he ends up messing everything just when things were going great. Then everything goes back to zero, right before square one, so it was like there was no harm done.”
Then Kyungsoo glances at him, eyes soft and sad. “But that Someone did get angry. He was furious. At first it was because that the boy, who he trusted so much and was close to, could even wish that on him. But then after a while that anger slowly burned off and he accepted that accidents do happen, and realized that he was was mad for another reason. He kept asking himself why the boy never told that person earlier.”
“I was afraid,” Jongin interjects, “that you’d get mad at me and never forgive me. And you did - you are.”
“I was,” Kyungsoo corrects him. “I was at first. That’s why I kept my distance and hid it from you because I thought I would just let things slide for the sake of our group. But then you kept on pushing and pulling, trying your best to make me smile again at you. So I let myself be pulled and I waited for you to tell me about this, but you never did.”
“But I didn’t know that you remember,” Jongin explains. “If I did I would have said something earlier.”
“Except you ran away when you found out,” Kyungsoo says blankly. “And you got spooked every time I tried to approach you.”
“I-“ Jongin tries, but he really doesn’t have a good argument against that so he opts for honesty instead. “I was surprised,” Jongin shrugs. “And scared, I guess. That you’d look at me and see a guilty man. That I’ve already lost you.”
“You haven’t lost me,” Kyungsoo says, gentle and fond. “Not yet.”
Jongin looks up now and stares straight ahead. “Does that mean you forgive me?”
“I’ve forgiven you a long time ago, Jongin-ah,” Kyungsoo replies, and there’s a sense of a finality in his tone.
Jongin feels a spark in his chest, hears the rush of blood in his ears. Kyungsoo’s looking at him expectantly now and all he can say is, “I’ve loved you for the longest time.”
“I know,” Kyungsoo says, smiling, as he leans over and stops a few centimeters away from him. Jongin takes the initiative to press his palm against Kyungsoo’s cheek and murmurs, “Merry Christmas,” before closing the gap between them.
Jongin thinks - finally, he could settle for this ending.
(fin.)
Notes: IT'S FINALLY FINISHED YAY. \:D/ This is my first completed chaptered fic, and before EXO I never thought I'd actually pick up writing again lol. A few personal thank you's to be handed out: thank you to Naomi for getting me into KaiSoo and for being the best, legit KaiSoo shipper I know, AND for making this Wishbone edit! This fic is dedicated to your current #1 OTP and all your predebut OTP's lol. Thank you to Belle for helping me out during the first few chapters and being my bouncing board for this fic. And thank you to Di for tolerating all my craziness and screaming and frustrations, and for constantly urging me to finish Wishbone so I can start writing all those other EXO WIP's. (Oi, finish that Taoris or that Layhan, woman!) And thank YOU for reading this - and if you enjoyed it then that's even loads better! I'm such a bad/awkward commenter, but I really do appreciate your comments! They're like little tickles to the heart. ♥ THANK YOU.
Jongin/Kyungsoo
3885 words
Jongin wakes up to a world of EXO without a Do Kyungsoo. (Band-verse with a twist.)
For @dokyungsoo, the biggest KaiSoo enabler I know.
wishbone (6/6)
Jongin wakes up to the smell of breakfast in the air.
There’s a steady pounding inside his head and everything hurts. The window blinds are open and the sun is glaring brightly at him, the thin skin of his eyelids not enough to block it out. Jongin pauses and mumbles a quick curse at Moonkyu. The bed next to his is empty though so the curse falls in an almost empty room. He’s the last one out as usual.
He gropes for the table next to his and blindly pads through the room using the furniture to help him get around. It’s pretty alarming how his brain is devoid of memories from last night, but they’re slowly coming back to him - little pieces of information fleeting by like an old, creaky film. He remembers the cake, of course birthdays have to start with cakes, and then the off tune melody of their birthday song starts to filter in.
Jongin fumbles for the doorknob and twists it, exiting his bedroom and entering the hallway. The noise that greets him should have been the usual, but it is somehow more grating and louder than he’s used to. The elephants are back inside his head, stomping at his brain and chewing on the few memories that he has. He vaguely notices that the air around him is warm and cloying; stupid Baekhyun probably put the heater on too high.
The living room is a mess of people. Chanyeol and Baekhyun are playing a game, and Tao has secured himself a whole couch while watching the game unfold with mild interest.
Sleep comes first before food in Jongin’s list of priorities and Tao’s fortress of pillows looks particularly inviting right now. He stumbles in the living room, almost tripping on Junmyeon and his pile of fan letters in the process, and flops at the sofa with a loud, “UNF.”
“YAH,” Tao shouts at him, hands trying to push Jongin off. “You’re on my couch!”
“This is the common room for everyone,” Jongin mumbles tiredly.
“You’re in my personal bubble,” Tao says drawing an imaginary circle around him. “You’re invading my private space.”
“Guh,” Jongin retorts and grabs a pillow to cuddle with, which means that the conversation is over and there’s nothing Tao can do about it.
The noises around the room gradually start to turn into background fuzz and Jongin allows the memories to flow back into his brain. The flow isn’t really a flow though, it’s more like a scatter of images, cut and pasted in awkward angles then glued back into his brain in a messy video-type fashion.
There’s the cake and the birthday song followed by a few games and lots and lots of drinks. He remembers Moonkyu who kept transferring the soju from his cup to his own and groans, “I’m going to kill Moonkyu.”
“What did you say?” Junmyeon asks from where he’s sitting down on the floor.
“I’m going to kill Moonkyu,” Jongin repeats.
“Now, now,” Junmyeon says, “that’s not how you talk about your long time friend.”
Chanyeol snorts, eyes never leaving the game he’s playing. “What did he do now?”
“It’s for all the stupid he did last night,” Jongin replies. “I need to kill you, too, for all that alcohol, hyung.”
“What alcohol?” Junmyeon asks, looking scandalized and squinting at Chanyeol. Kris, who is sitting quietly on the other couch, lands him an intimidating stare.
“I didn’t do anything!” Chanyeol raises his hands up in surrender. “I was here in the dorm all night! And Jongin was here, too!”
“And I didn’t see Moonkyu here either,” Sehun adds. “Didn’t he mention that he was having his midterms this week?”
“It was just last night,” Jongin says groggily. “It was for my & Kyungsoo’s birthday.”
“Jongin-ah,” Junmyeon says gently, carefully, “your birthday was months ago.”
“But it was just last night,” Jongin says firmly. The fog inside his head is starting to clear up and his recollections are coming back faster. He starts to adjust with this new weight of knowledge. “We had a party here last night. Chanyeol-hyung even got me so drunk that I - “
He suddenly stops. That certain memory doesn’t come swift like a punch in the gut, but more like the soft crash of sea waves against rocks. He feels lightheaded suddenly, head swimming between his shoulders, sick with fear and guilt. When he closes his eyes the image of Kyungsoo, quiet and angry, sticks like an imprint at the back of his eyelids. He’s about to ask what happened when the door to their apartment opens.
“We bumped into our fans in the supermarket!” Kyungsoo exclaims, face flushed and hands full of grocery bags. Luhan looks the same beside him, expression contorted in unease and hair stuck in a frizzy, static mess. “I hope you guys didn’t let the food burn in the stove.”
They stop talking when they noticed the cluster of people in the living room and the worried glances people are giving Jongin.
“What’s up?” Luhan asks.
“I think the summer heat is getting to him,” Kris explains. “We really should get that air conditioner fixed.”
Jongin wants to say that it can’t possibly be summer when it was just the dead of winter last night, but the concerned expression on Kyungsoo’s face gnaws at his insides. He’s not worthy of that. He twists away and his gaze lands on the calendar on their wall.
The label on the paper says that it’s June and the year is off by negative one. He starts to reel back with a sense of déjà vu, that this has happened before except now it’s in reverse. He looks back at Kyungsoo and he finally notices it, the difference in his gaze lacking that special spark he used to see in him, and it hits him: this is not the Kyungsoo he nurtured and loved in the past few months, not the Kyungsoo he betrayed.
---
It takes a five-hour nap for Jongin to recollect his senses and bring him back to reality. Earlier, when he went back to his room to rest with a steaming bowl of rice porridge that Kyungsoo had cooked, he tried to subtly acquire information from them without looking like he’s ready to enter a psychiatric facility.
From what he gathered, he can safely assume that he’s back in the original timeline on the exact day that he woke up and realized Kyungsoo was gone several months before.
In this world, Google easily comes up with answers when he types in “D.O. EXO-K” and there is no crushing guilt that haunts him every night. In this world, Do Kyungsoo is D.O. and that boy doesn’t love him.
He doesn’t know which reality hurts more.
---
The world doesn’t stop and their schedules continue to pile up. It’s a little weird, Jongin thinks, knowing what would happen in the future and what kind of opportunities would be presented to their group and reliving it a second time around.
Having Kyungsoo with him is the odd factor that makes the difference in this new timeline. He’s also the sad reminder of what happened and what could be. Sometimes, Jongin wonders if it was all just a long, incredibly realistic dream. The more the days pass, the more the scenes continue to fade a little on the edges and replaced with the new ones from this world, and Kyungsoo seems farther away and out of his reach.
---
It happens often, Jongin would offer his hand and Kyungsoo would accept it, his touch slightly electrifying and strange. They’re back in the dance studio now practicing their latest choreography for a Samsung advertisement and Kyungsoo is sitting against the wall, heaving large gulps of air. He seems to be having a hard time mastering the choreography but Jongin memorizes it easily enough, knows it from a different life.
“Come on,” Jongin offers his hand and a warm smile. “I’ll help you, hyung.”
Kyungsoo throws back an easy grin, fits his hand into his and groans while he gets up, muscles aching in all the wrong places. “Please be kind to me, Jongin-nim,” Kyungsoo teases.
Jongin guides him through the steps, hands shifting across Kyungsoo’s arms and body, turning them into curves and angles. Kyungsoo’s actions and expressions are so familiar to him but detached, his laugh genuine yet distant like a reminder of the past or another lifetime.
Maybe this is his punishment, Jongin thinks, realizing what he wanted too late only for it to be taken away.
---
It’s Taemin who ends up dragging him out for an intervention.
“You’ve been moping,” Taemin states.
“I’m not,” Jongin replies, hands curled around his cup of coffee. It’s pretty ironic that Taemin picks out the same obscure café that Jongin had taken him into when he revealed his secret.
“Your opinion doesn’t matter because all eleven of your members have come up to me with the same conclusion.” Taemin leans back on his chair and sips his Caramel Macchiato. “So what’s the problem?”
“There’s no problem,” Jongin grunts and picks at the thread of his jeans.
“Jongin,” Taemin starts, “they’re worried about you. They said you’ve been distant lately. What’s wrong?”
Jongin stops what he’s doing and looks at Taemin. “I’m not going insane.”
“I never said you were,” Taemin frowns.
“I know. I just wanted to preface what I’m about to tell you with that just in case you decide to run away from me.”
“Okaaay,” Taemin says slowly, a little unsure.
So Jongin tells him. He starts from the very beginning about the wishbone and Moonkyu’s involvement and Kyungsoo’s disappearance and everything that happened since then. The more Jongin tells him, the lighter his burden feels, relief gently streaming into his system. It feels a lot like a confessionary: these are the things I’ve done and these are my lies and my sins, someone please forgive me.
By the time he finishes his story, Taemin is kneading his forehead with his fingers and says, “I need another cup of coffee,” before standing up to walk to the counter.
Jongin counts up to ten and looks up to check if Taemin has run away, but the other is still there in the counter and paying for his coffee. Jongin sighs and worries at his bottom lip instead.
“So what’s the problem then?” is the first thing that comes out of Taemin’s mouth when he returns. “You’re back, Kyungsoo’s back and it’s as if the whole thing never happened. The whole fiasco with the wishbone never came true.”
“What if,” Jongin asks, voice low and trembling, “I left the real Kyungsoo in the other world?”
Taemin looks at him skeptically for a moment before smacking him over the head. “Stop making your life more like a kdrama when it’s not.”
“Really,” Jongin insists. “What if after he punched me I was transported back here and he’s left all alone there?” He could feel the slight prickling behind his eyes and the guilt lodging up his throat.
“Stop,” Taemin shoves his palm at Jongin’s face. “You’re overcomplicating things. Why can’t you just accept that everything’s back to the way it was? Didn’t you wish for this? Stop making your guilt fuel you into imagining things.”
“It’s just that…” Jongin looks at his hands and swallows hard. “How come I’m the only one who remembers?”
“Isn’t it better this way? At least he doesn’t remember what you did.”
“I know but,” Jongin looks at Taemin, “you told me in the other world that if I tell him then maybe he’d forgive me. But now there’s nothing to forgive and he doesn’t have any of our memories together. There’s nothing for him to…” Jongin trails off.
“To love you?” Taemin supplies. “If that’s what you’re worried about then the answer is pretty simple.” Taemin stares at him thoughtfully.
“Make him fall in love with you again.”
---
It’s not that simple.
For one thing Kyungsoo became close to him because they shared a secret and united over the same history. In this world, Kyungsoo is part of the gang and he has the 93-line to joke around with. They may be close as roommates, but it’s not the same kind of shared intimacy that they had before.
Kyungsoo’s heart is divided for several people, and Jongin knows Kai has a place there, but what he wants to know is if there’s a big enough space for Kim Jongin to stay.
---
Time flies faster when you know what’s going to happen and pretty soon it’s their comeback all over again. Jongin’s hair dips back into red and they’re sized and outfitted into different, glittering costumes and shuttled from location to location.
Practice hours are longer and voice rehearsals are grittier. When their vocalists come back from an all night session completely drained and exhausted, Jongin seizes the opportunity.
“Hey,” Jongin says and offers Kyungsoo’s prone form a large steaming cup of tea.
Kyungsoo opens one eye and peers at him from the bed. “What’s that?”
“Ginger tea with honey for your throat.” Kyungsoo rearranges himself on the bed and accepts it, blows and takes a small sip while making soft keening sounds that make Jongin smile.
“Thanks,” Kyungsoo says after a while, voice still sounding a little hoarse. And when Kyungsoo looks up, Jongin sees it - that small glimmer of spark in his eyes and that smile that used to be so familiar, and a tiny flicker of hope flares somewhere in Jongin’s chest.
---
So Jongin begins his Operation Woo Kyungsoo. It’s Taemin that christens it with that unholy name because he reasons out that the title perfectly shows its purpose. Jongin lets him only because he’s the only person who would listen without thinking he’s going crazy.
He does the whole subtle enchilada: he becomes more attentive to Kyungsoo’s needs, always ready with a bottle of water and a towel on his hand and a free shoulder to lean on when they shuttle from one location to another. There are other stuff, too, openings that present itself to Jongin on different occasions. At one point, he evens wakes up really early to prepare breakfast just for Kyungsoo while battling against their nosy members’ questions and wandering hands.
(“Thief,” Jongin hisses as Chanyeol steals a hard-boiled egg.
“Watch your mouth, dear Obi-wan Kainobi,” Chanyeol says as he bites on the egg. “I’ve got a few years ahead of you.”
“I hope you choke,” Jongin mutters darkly.”)
What’s even weirder than Jongin’s antics is the way Kyungsoo reciprocates to his actions. At first Kyungsoo accepts things with the same gratitude he’s given him in years, close but casual. But the more he does things, the more Kyungsoo opens up to him bit by bit, Kyungsoo’s replies and reactions becoming more similar with how he was in their past life together. He thinks his efforts are worth it when he feels the distance between them is getting shorter and shorter, the path home becoming less tangled and more even.
When the news of their Thailand trip becomes official, Jongin thinks that this is his best bet for his second chance.
---
Being on an elephant is like being on a boat, body swaying softly side by side, except there’s no feeling of the soft waves of the water underneath, just hard and sturdy ground.
Kyungsoo’s busy taking photos of the scenery with his phone when he suddenly drags Jongin’s arm so that they can take a picture together instead. They make their signature pose, heads tilted and cheeks pressed against each other.
“Say kimchi!” Kyungsoo laughs.
“Kimchi,” Jongin says, beaming at the camera.
Kyungsoo checks their photo and fiddles with his phone. He glances at Jongin briefly. “This feels like a date,” Kyungsoo whispers, grinning, “a really exotic one.”
Jongin is quiet for a while, the air knocked right out of him. This is almost like a reflection of how they were before.
“It is,” Jongin picks his words out carefully, hand tightening around Kyungsoo’s, eyes desperately trying to tell a story, “if you want it to be.”
---
Jongin doesn’t know what came over him. Maybe it’s the feeling of being in a different country, that slight feeling of freedom from his inhibitions and getting a natural high from the day’s events. Or maybe it’s how they were laughing while stumbling back into their hotel room after being caught by their managers holding an illegal party hosted by Chanyeol. Or maybe it’s how Kyungsoo looks right now, happy and serene as he washes his face in the bathroom. But whatever it is, Jongin puts down his toothbrush and blurts out, “I like you.”
Kyungsoo stares at him through the mirror, his image showing a mask of surprise before blinking back into his casual reserve. “I know,” Kyungsoo says.
He turns to look at Kyungsoo directly. “You do?”
“I’ve always known,” Kyungsoo says turning to him. “I’ve known it from a lifetime ago.”
The thick lump is back in Jongin’s throat, threatening to spill out of his mouth and all over the floor.
“You remember?” Jongin asks even though he already knows the answer. It’s written in Kyungsoo’s eyes. There’s a blanket of fondness, and underneath it is something deeper that’s strangely familiar mixed with the simmering anger he’s seen all those weeks ago. Everything suddenly clicks inside Jongin’s head. The repetitions in this timeline weren’t just mere coincidences, but little clues left for him.
“I remember,” Kyungsoo whispers.
Jongin ends up doing the first thing that comes to mind: he runs.
---
In the weeks that follow, Jongin avoids Kyungsoo as best as he can, the guilt finally catching up to him. He logs extra hours practicing their choreography in the company building and goes home only when he’s sure that Kyungsoo’s asleep. He exchanges rooms with Chanyeol after Chanyeol complained again on how Baekhyun sets their room’s heater too high. He keeps at least one body space away from Kyungsoo, always an arms length away, but still managing to be out of reach. Sehun is pretty useful sometimes.
There are times when he sees Kyungsoo trying to come up to him, but he always notices him first and makes a subtle getaway before things get messy. It has now become a habit to Jongin: one step from Kyungsoo, two steps back for him.
He thinks, this is what I wanted - I wanted him to remember, and thinks that this is another wish gone wrong.
---
The days are shorter, and the skies are darker as November slopes into December. Jongin doesn’t remember Christmas being this oppressive, the decorative lights and swarm of people rushing to get things done overwhelming him. He remembers a warm Christmas spent with someone special but that feels like a long time ago.
When EXO are invited to perform in SBS’s Christmas Festival, he isn’t surprised. He’s used to knowing how things go from here. So it comes as a surprise when during the performance, he twirls around for the ending pirouette but his foot misses what should have been the stage.
He doesn’t even remember landing on the ground before everything turns black.
---
When Jongin wakes up, it’s to the smell of sterility and chemicals. He’s lying in a bed surrounded by white and Kyungsoo is on a chair beside him, his head tucked on his arms on the bed. He hopes he’s not in another dimension; that seems to be the usual choice of fate for him when he gets injured and whenever Kyungsoo is concerned.
“Hi,” Jongin croaks out when Kyungsoo stirs up.
“Hey,” Kyungsoo smiles at him sleepily, “you’re awake.”
“Yea,” Jongin replies. He looks at the clock by the wall that says it’s a little bit past midnight. It’s that magic hour when things happen, Jongin thinks, as Kyungsoo leans over and arranges the bandage wrapped around his forehead. There’s a slight throbbing there, but the area feels mostly numb.
“I’m sorry,” Jongin says, staring at his hands. He really means it this time. There’s no alcohol pulsing in his veins, just that slight resignation of the rejection that’s about to come.
Kyungsoo drops his hands and starts playing with the frayed ends of the cotton blanket. “Taemin told me this story,” Kyungsoo begins, “about a stupid boy and his wishbone and how he wished Someone away.”
Kyungsoo’s lips quirk up a bit, amused and wary at the same time. “He told me how much the boy regretted his wish, that it was just an accident and how he tried his best to make things right. And he did - at least for a while. But the boy didn’t know how to say things and he’s always had the worst timing so he ends up messing everything just when things were going great. Then everything goes back to zero, right before square one, so it was like there was no harm done.”
Then Kyungsoo glances at him, eyes soft and sad. “But that Someone did get angry. He was furious. At first it was because that the boy, who he trusted so much and was close to, could even wish that on him. But then after a while that anger slowly burned off and he accepted that accidents do happen, and realized that he was was mad for another reason. He kept asking himself why the boy never told that person earlier.”
“I was afraid,” Jongin interjects, “that you’d get mad at me and never forgive me. And you did - you are.”
“I was,” Kyungsoo corrects him. “I was at first. That’s why I kept my distance and hid it from you because I thought I would just let things slide for the sake of our group. But then you kept on pushing and pulling, trying your best to make me smile again at you. So I let myself be pulled and I waited for you to tell me about this, but you never did.”
“But I didn’t know that you remember,” Jongin explains. “If I did I would have said something earlier.”
“Except you ran away when you found out,” Kyungsoo says blankly. “And you got spooked every time I tried to approach you.”
“I-“ Jongin tries, but he really doesn’t have a good argument against that so he opts for honesty instead. “I was surprised,” Jongin shrugs. “And scared, I guess. That you’d look at me and see a guilty man. That I’ve already lost you.”
“You haven’t lost me,” Kyungsoo says, gentle and fond. “Not yet.”
Jongin looks up now and stares straight ahead. “Does that mean you forgive me?”
“I’ve forgiven you a long time ago, Jongin-ah,” Kyungsoo replies, and there’s a sense of a finality in his tone.
Jongin feels a spark in his chest, hears the rush of blood in his ears. Kyungsoo’s looking at him expectantly now and all he can say is, “I’ve loved you for the longest time.”
“I know,” Kyungsoo says, smiling, as he leans over and stops a few centimeters away from him. Jongin takes the initiative to press his palm against Kyungsoo’s cheek and murmurs, “Merry Christmas,” before closing the gap between them.
Jongin thinks - finally, he could settle for this ending.
(fin.)
Notes: IT'S FINALLY FINISHED YAY. \:D/ This is my first completed chaptered fic, and before EXO I never thought I'd actually pick up writing again lol. A few personal thank you's to be handed out: thank you to Naomi for getting me into KaiSoo and for being the best, legit KaiSoo shipper I know, AND for making this Wishbone edit! This fic is dedicated to your current #1 OTP and all your predebut OTP's lol. Thank you to Belle for helping me out during the first few chapters and being my bouncing board for this fic. And thank you to Di for tolerating all my craziness and screaming and frustrations, and for constantly urging me to finish Wishbone so I can start writing all those other EXO WIP's. (Oi, finish that Taoris or that Layhan, woman!) And thank YOU for reading this - and if you enjoyed it then that's even loads better! I'm such a bad/awkward commenter, but I really do appreciate your comments! They're like little tickles to the heart. ♥ THANK YOU.