Bupkis

[alleyalligator]

Beep.  Beep.  Beep.

I know that sound.  It’s taken me a moment to place it, but I’ve got it now.  It’s one of those heart monitoring machines that let you know you’re still alive.  I must be in hospital.

Beep.  Beep.  Beep.

It’s all coming back to me.  I remember it was dark and it was raining.  I was driving home.  There was a big bang and a flash

Comments

[hypnagogie]

Augh you freak me out! (Which, y'know, good job. But agh)

[alleyalligator]

:D

I really like how this one turned out. It's definitely one of the scariest ideas I've had though.

[elionwyr]

Gah. *hug*

[alleyalligator]

Thanks.

[notodette]

I cried.

[alleyalligator]

That's the highest compliment you could pay me. Thank you. I must admit that I found myself very emotionally involved writing it and I knew the ending that was coming...

[n3m3sis42]

I did too.

[sorchawench]

Holy crap...how scary is that?!?!?

[alleyalligator]

It is seriously one of the scariest things I can think of.

[basric]

As a nurse logically this goes against everything I've been taught. No brain is dead.

HOWEVER from a reader's POV I cried. So you must have done a great job. Well done.

[alleyalligator]

I must admit that I was going to ask you about some of the medical aspects but wasn't sure if you'd have time to respond. What would be a better way of phrasing it? Essentially the idea is that it's the machine doing the breathing but there's no higher brain function and no sign of any consciousness or any chance of recovery to any degree whatsoever, which is usually described as "brain dead" in Hollywood, but I'm fully aware that Hollywood isn't real life! I'm totally up for taking on board any comments you have for improving that aspect because I'm really happy with this entry and would love it to be as strong as it possibly can be.

[basric]

I'm always happy to help just pm me or email me at BASRIC@COMCAST.NET.

most laypeople are not going to know the difference anyway.

I myself took it as her spirit not yet separated from her body watching and pleading.

[alleyalligator]

Thanks - I really appreciate that. It is important to me that there's nothing in my stories that would annoy someone who knows more about the subject matter, so any comments you offer I appreciate.