I still check and read this, by the way. Just not super consistently. But yes- LN, Myles... I tend to see your posts at the very least.

Dear Saturn ( Read more... )

Someone died today, someone who I cared above very, very deeply. I'm sad, alone, and have some really confused emotions. He was the first person to die that I felt like I hadn't gotten to express to them how much I cared, and to really spend the time with them that I always wanted to. I'm grieving deeply- for their loss and for my own.

Tim- I love

The less I talk to people, the happier I am. BUT- the more I think I move towards insanity or an otherwise unhealthy state of being. Hmm. : /

I am so tremendously sad lately that I don't have words for it. Which is fine, because I also don't have anyone to listen to me even if I tried to talk about it. Despair+loneliness= horrible.

There's a pattern going on. If I care about something or someone, they are taken from my life. Sometimes they go quietly in the night, sometimes there is a giant ball of drama. But I've lost almost everything that I've cared about. This causes massive depression, and depending on the circumstances- severe drops in self-esteem. I have been trying to ( Read more... )

Thinking about why I'm so stressed and putting pressure on a new friend to hang out... I realize that I've only hung out with friends once in the past 6 months.

oh.

I wrote this months ago, but it never posted. It was saved in my drafts. Here we go- a nciely negative entry based solidly in truth ( Read more... )

Damned if I do, damned if I don't ( Read more... )

Doing better overall ( Read more... )