Title: i won't be rising from these ashes
Author:
allibababRating: M/R
Word Count: 958
Spoilers: Not really? It takes place after Casino Night.
Summary: This was taking what you could get. (Jim/Jan)
A/N: Thanks to my ladies for all their help! This is also my first time writing Jan (and Jim/Jan, obviously), so I hope I did the character credit. I
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Thanks so much for your comment. ♥
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Love that this wasn't quite comfort sex - it was something more (or less?) than that. A byproduct of Jim's tendency for using other people when he's in pain, and Jan's own self-esteem issues and neuroses. Jan's running commentary was perfect for this - her uncertainty over whether or not it was a mistake felt so right.
And her thinking about how she didn't come and he did, and how the picture frame was actually hurting her, but she would have let things continue just hurt to read. They really underscored the almost meanness of this - it wasn't comforting and sweet, it was taking what you could get and raw, but not necessarily a mistake. Loved.
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And you've just hit the nail on the head with what I was trying to illustrate about the meanness of the situation. It's taking what you could get and filling yourself with something and maybe not a step forward but at least not a step back- I kind of like that there's no resolution, no ease in the beginning, middle, or end. I think that works for the situation they're in.
And your thoughtful comment has now got me rambling, so I'll stop. Thanks so much for your kind words.
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I know that you were nervous about tackling a pairing other than Jim/Pam, and I honestly don't know why because this is just perfect perfect post-CN Jim/Jan - the loneliness, the almost quiet desperation, and the resignation are all palpable, and as always, it's written just beautifully. Because at that moment, they are mirrors of each other, and just fit; and like the last line says(killing me), it won't happen again. They're just...colliding because it works at the moment. Just gorgeous. <3 I hope you plan on writing a lot more this summer!
(And sorry, again, that it took me so long to leave you feedback.)
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So. Thank you! I'm so happy to hear the idea of them colliding, as you say, just in this moment, just this once, works for you because, really, what other time have they ever had together where it was charged like it was during CN? It was just this situation and now it's over. I guess I just kind of like the idea of it. :)
Anyway. Thanks again! ♥
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