Title: Lullaby
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: House/Cameron
Part: 8/9
Spoiler: Up to early S5. :)
Beta:
angelaalex I love you! ;__________;
Summery: Cameron is pregnant. The problem? She doesn't tell anybody who the father of her child is. Rumors. Speculations. Reproaches. How is it possible not to forget the important thing in this mess?
Chapter 8 - Defenseless
Sometimes it was hard being the better person. This was something Allison Cameron had to learn very early in her life. She didn’t know where this idea - inviting his parents for dinner - came from. A miracle. Not even him, her son’s father, had ever been in her apartment. As odd as this whole thing seemed to be. The sound of wood that knocked at wood brought her back to reality. She slowly cut off the stove, threw her apron on the table and opened the door. He was alone and she didn’t ask when his parents were going to come.
“You’re early…”, she said silently, dismissing him.
Even after all this time there was still this strange tension between them. They could’ve been soul mates if he just would’ve let it happen. He hobbled after her, looking around, searching.
“He’s in the kitchen and helping me cook…“
What she meant by this, he saw when he entered the kitchen. William had knocked over the flour and had become a small snowman. Carrot mash was all over his face and his wide awake eyes were transfixed by every single movement around him. Ice blue curiosity.
“Do you want me to stay awake all night, honey?“, Allison asked her son reproachfully and lifted him out of his chair, before turning back to House. “You can cook, or bath your son. Choose.”
He looked back and forth between stove and son, before grabbing the little boy from her arms. Cameron couldn’t help but smile weakly, turning back to her task.
Was this the way it could be? Snapshots of an almost normal family life. Sighing she brushed a wisp of hair out of her face and closed her eyes tiredly. The stabbing pain in her head which seemed to never leave her alone was gnawing on her senses. Sometimes it was more than she could bear. Other times she couldn’t even get out of bed. She did just for William.
Twenty minutes. Twenty minutes and Blythe and John House were standing in her living room, greeting her stiffly. She brought them some drinks and prayed to god House would show up right now. Almost as if he had sensed her insecurities he walked into the room, his son curled into his chest. His cane laid abandoned in the kitchen. The sight of them was just unbelievably cute. His clothes were soaked, there were water drops even in his hair…and William? He had buried his head in the neck of his father, smiling slightly.
“He won the fight…”, House said dryly, giving the child to Cameron.
“He always does…”, she replied, smiling.
The tense atmosphere between them didn’t go unnoticed by his parents, because Cameron caught them exchanging a knowing look. They didn’t say anything and the young woman thanked god for it. Sometimes there was just nothing left to say.
The dinner went by surprisingly well. Blythe House fell directly in love with the little boy and even if he thought nobody would see it, the smile on Colonel House’s face didn’t go unnoticed by Allison. Greg talked the whole time with his mother, turning from time to time to Cameron - looking grumpy as ever. Perhaps it was his way of showing his parents and her that she didn’t mean anything to him. She didn’t know, caring less. After all she’d given up hope a long time ago.
“I really hope we’ll be able to see our little bundle of joy again…”, Blythe said smiling when she handed him to his mother.
“You can visit him whenever you want.”
Blythe nodded and John looked at her thankfully when they separated. Sighing Cameron got up, taking the little boy to bed, without waking him. She didn’t notice House standing in the doorway, watching her, mesmerized by the softness with which she was handling this small creature. The love she felt for him seemed to be so deep, so profound, that it was scaring the hell out of him.
When she came back into the living room she watched House standing by the window. He didn’t seem to be looking anywhere - unable to.
“He’s asleep…”, she mumbled silently.
“Good…“ He nodded. It seemed as if he wasn’t interested at all.
Unsure, she stood in front of him, trying to understand his motives, his existence and everything that was just him. Wondering if he hated her because she gave birth to her son, confronting him with something he never wanted to be - a father.
The lights in the living room were flickering. Once. Twice. Darkness. Blackout.
Deep in thought he turned round, facing her, watching her face in the moonlight. Sometimes she wished she could just take a look into his head - just to understand him. His thoughts. His feelings. His wishes.
“You will never be able to love us, will you?“
“No”, he mumbled. “I’m just going to hurt you.”
She nodded and there wasn’t a cell in her body which didn’t believe him. Still…
“But…What about me trying to…”
“Don’t…”
His voice was just a whisper.
“Why?”
“We wouldn’t survive it.”
Her eyes sparkled in a color that he couldn’t describe. He stared her down and her hard gaze was making him feel uneasy. There seemed to be nothing she regretted in her entire life. No action, no decision, nothing. Not even her son, even if he was glaring at her each and every day - reproachful. She was facing everything and this strength he seemed to notice the first time - ever. He was so proud.
His lips were rough and his stubble would leave many red scratches on her flawless body. Everybody would see it the next morning, a few would know the meaning. After all they were both way too damaged to handle an intact relationship, but maybe that was what they needed. A person as incapable as the other. Interwinded limbs. Sweat. Rumpled sheets. Lust.
Allison Cameron hadn’t felt so alive in an eternity.
TbC