4 times jon got facepalmed [and the 1 time he got high-fived] - Jon - PG-13
Title: 4 times jon got facepalmed [and the 1 time he got high-fived]
Author: alljustlovers
Rating: PG-13ish for language
Pairing: Jon Gen [lolsy background references to others]
POV: 3rd, Jon centric
Summary: Pretty much what it says. 5x fic in which Jon is not nearly as awesome and original and he thinks he is.
Wordcount: 1,634
Disclaimer: If you think this is real, or if your RL persona is a basis for these characters, it'd be best for everyone involved if you closed out of this window.
Beta: dr_jasley gave this a read through for me; any remaining errors are my own [and I would love if you could point them out to me!]
A/N: Uhm. I found this rotting in my abandoned fics folder about 2 weeks ago and decided that it was too awful to finish... Then I typed the rest of it out and facepalmed myself enough to make Jon in this fic look witty and creative. Love for all bands/personae mentioned, and apologies for making Jon such a tool. [If it helps, I imagine him making these faces a lot during this fic. You know, in case you needed visuals.]
1.
The first time it happens, it's really, really not Jon's fault. How was he supposed to pay attention to what he was actually hearing when he was faced with looking at these - these kids in this band, who were even tinier and more adorable than his own band of tiny, adorable little misfits, okay? And- and he was stressed! It'd been a long tour and a weird year, so maybe he was a little off his game, whatever. It was entirely not his fault, is the point. Okay, so maybe if he'd actually paid attention to the band that was being played on loop by all of his friends, it wouldn't have happened, but still. Not. His. Fault. Mostly.
So, Ryan found this band and sent a link to everyone he knew. They all lived by the motto "find something you like, pass it on", which was always cool - at least until that one time Brendon got really into Hentai, and him and Gabe had spent that entire week sending mass emails of increasingly creepy cartoons until Spencer had to threaten people's lives if he got any more tentacle porn (which, okay, that's a totally different story in and of itself) - but this time, they all seemed to be equally charmed and enamored by the band, which was not an easy task. It was pretty understandable, when Jon thought about it, though. They were cute, they had some catchy hooks, and hey, if they were from Chicago, its not like that was anything he was going to hold against them. And when Pete offered them a record deal so fast, well. It's not like Pete had never signed a band because of things he'd seen on the internet before, is all.
There was a whirlwind of contracts and recording and tour planning, and then this new baby band of Pete's went out on a summer tour in support of Pete's original baby band. This is how Jon meets Greta Salpeter, his new favorite person in the world. Not only is Greta even more tiny and adorable than she seemed in pictures, but she was funny and super intelligent and she always, always kicked all of the guys' asses at porno Scrabble. She could also play just about any instrument you put in front of her and sing like it was her last day on Earth; once Jon found out how much sheer talent Greta had, she quickly became his favorite jam buddy.
The thing is, even though The Hush Sound was touring with them and Jon legitimately liked their music, he just... didn't pay much attention to it. He was a bad friend and labelmate, obviously, but that didn't change the fact that he was just never really in the mood to sit and listen to their songs, no matter how much he really did like them. And he did like them, he did! So much, in fact, that when he started playing an upbeat melody - one that he'd had stuck in his head for weeks but just couldn't get down on paper - during one of his jam sessions with Greta, she was a little quick to pick up the tune and hum along with it, cheeky grin in place. Jon played through it for a minute, maybe two, before he realized how it was she'd found the rhythm so easily in the song he'd been trying to write. It was the song that had gotten The Hush Sound their recording contract.
2.
The second time it happened, Jon didn't realize that it had actually happened until everyone in the TRL studio was laughing at his joke [him].
The VJ had asked all of the guys what, if anything, they would change their band name to if they had the chance. Ryan said 'Burn Down the Disco'. Brendon called out '4 Guys, 1 Bus'. Spencer shrugged and said 'Blink 182'. Jon went with the Brandy Bunch approach - look around the room and say the first thing that you see - and, well, he was in New York. In a room full of windows.
It's not his fault he forgot that band Spencer had just gotten signed went by The Cab. He hadn't even heard the guys yet!
3.
The third time it happened, it wasn't even funny. Shane can shove it and stop laughing, okay, because it really, really wasn't funny at all.
Or, okay, maybe just a little bit.
When the guys were locked away in the cabin, they decided to all sit down and make some house rules. They sat in a little circle passing a clipboard clockwise ; when it reached them, they wrote down one rule - "No more, Ryan!" - and passed it on. They continued until the first person ran out.
[Incidentally, this is also how they would smoke up while in the cabin - sitting in a circle and passing a joint clockwise, taking a puff - "No more, Spencer!" - until it burned out. The amount of marijuana smoked on the night House Rules were made doesn't have anything to do with what happened, though. Mostly.]
Once they had a [217 item] list of House Rules - Jon's favorite being one Brendon put down: "16. Ryan's make up bag can contain no more than one color at any given time. Monochromatic themes are in this season" - they sat around and thought of concept albums that, sadly, didn't involve wolves.
Spencer, who was probably high enough to see across the Atlantic at this point, began to weave a sad, sad tale about 4 little billy goats who got lost in the woods. He talked and talked about the troll who controlled their food supply and how he said they needed to go out and earn the food they were eating, and who also said that they couldn't rely on their big, friendly giant friend to help them along. Spencer went on to tell about how the little billy goats found an abandoned hut to sleep in and how they all slept curled up on top of each other ["Yeah, I bet you'd like it if we were on top of you." "Shut up Brendon, I'm talking about the goats!"] The story finished, somehow, with the billy goats starting a beard growing contest since they obviously would never succeed in finding a way to get their own food and needed a source of entertainment.
"On that note," Spencer said, trying to right himself from the couch, "I'm going to go to bed. My cold, cold, lonely bed." Brendon faked a yawn and followed him out of the room, only to have Shane yell something after him about wrong hallways for bedrooms. Or something. Jon was more than half asleep at this point.
The next morning over breakfast - because 11:52am is still morning, thank you, and is therefore still breakfast time - Jon was smearing jam on his toast when he remembered his dream from the night before.
"Oh, hey! Guys! I had the coolest idea in a dream. We should start a beard growing contest, right? It's like, there's nothing else to do, since we don't have any ideas about the album, and-"
He was cut off simultaneously by a snort from Shane and Spencer's closed fist smacking the table.
"I thought that up last night, dude. You're always stealing everyone's shit!"
By the time Jon figured out that, hey, that actually happened and wasn't a dream, everyone had already continued on with their breakfast. Except for Shane, because Shane had no compassion for humanity.
"So, wait. Did Brendon actually follow you to bed last night then, too?"
Shane choked on his coffee and laughed all the way to the back porch, where he went to go call Regan.
4.
The fourth time it happened, he wound up getting tossed in a pool.
He met up in California with some of the guys in The Academy Is, and William went off about how he wanted to get a tattoo to commemorate all of the friends he's made and all of the amazing things the lot of them had achieved in the last few years. Jon, knowing that the more nostalgic William got the more likely it was for him to start telling all of his favorite stories about a 16 year-old Jon, tried to break up the trip down memory lane by throwing out random tattoo ideas.
"What about getting an ellipsis tattooed on your knuckles?"
The other guys all laughed, making jokes about how that could possibly be the stupidest knuckle tattoo ever.
"Or, oh! You could get "almost there" on your stomach."
William stands and lifts his shirt, all the while making lewd gestures around the obvious implications to the tattoo idea.
"Oh, wait! You can get "Santi" on your ass!" Jon starts laughing so hard that he doubles over, stopping only when he realizes he's the only one laughing.
He looks up to see a flash of Adam's face before he's being lifted out of his chair and tossed in the pool. He resurfaces just in time to see Adam turn around and pull his pants down just enough for the "Santi" on his ass to show.
Oh, yeah. That. Jon forgot.
5.
The fifth time it happened, it... actually. The fifth time was a totally different story.
Jon and Ryan and Spencer and Brendon had just recently become JonandRyan and SpencerandBrendon, and Jon and Ryan couldn't think of a single band name for their two parts of a whole. One of the days that they sat around going through songs, Jon had a line in one of his half-formed songs race through the back of his mind.
"Hey, what about The Young Veins?"
"That," Ryan started, smiling at Jon, "is actually a really good idea."
Author: alljustlovers
Rating: PG-13ish for language
Pairing: Jon Gen [lolsy background references to others]
POV: 3rd, Jon centric
Summary: Pretty much what it says. 5x fic in which Jon is not nearly as awesome and original and he thinks he is.
Wordcount: 1,634
Disclaimer: If you think this is real, or if your RL persona is a basis for these characters, it'd be best for everyone involved if you closed out of this window.
Beta: dr_jasley gave this a read through for me; any remaining errors are my own [and I would love if you could point them out to me!]
A/N: Uhm. I found this rotting in my abandoned fics folder about 2 weeks ago and decided that it was too awful to finish... Then I typed the rest of it out and facepalmed myself enough to make Jon in this fic look witty and creative. Love for all bands/personae mentioned, and apologies for making Jon such a tool. [If it helps, I imagine him making these faces a lot during this fic. You know, in case you needed visuals.]
1.
The first time it happens, it's really, really not Jon's fault. How was he supposed to pay attention to what he was actually hearing when he was faced with looking at these - these kids in this band, who were even tinier and more adorable than his own band of tiny, adorable little misfits, okay? And- and he was stressed! It'd been a long tour and a weird year, so maybe he was a little off his game, whatever. It was entirely not his fault, is the point. Okay, so maybe if he'd actually paid attention to the band that was being played on loop by all of his friends, it wouldn't have happened, but still. Not. His. Fault. Mostly.
So, Ryan found this band and sent a link to everyone he knew. They all lived by the motto "find something you like, pass it on", which was always cool - at least until that one time Brendon got really into Hentai, and him and Gabe had spent that entire week sending mass emails of increasingly creepy cartoons until Spencer had to threaten people's lives if he got any more tentacle porn (which, okay, that's a totally different story in and of itself) - but this time, they all seemed to be equally charmed and enamored by the band, which was not an easy task. It was pretty understandable, when Jon thought about it, though. They were cute, they had some catchy hooks, and hey, if they were from Chicago, its not like that was anything he was going to hold against them. And when Pete offered them a record deal so fast, well. It's not like Pete had never signed a band because of things he'd seen on the internet before, is all.
There was a whirlwind of contracts and recording and tour planning, and then this new baby band of Pete's went out on a summer tour in support of Pete's original baby band. This is how Jon meets Greta Salpeter, his new favorite person in the world. Not only is Greta even more tiny and adorable than she seemed in pictures, but she was funny and super intelligent and she always, always kicked all of the guys' asses at porno Scrabble. She could also play just about any instrument you put in front of her and sing like it was her last day on Earth; once Jon found out how much sheer talent Greta had, she quickly became his favorite jam buddy.
The thing is, even though The Hush Sound was touring with them and Jon legitimately liked their music, he just... didn't pay much attention to it. He was a bad friend and labelmate, obviously, but that didn't change the fact that he was just never really in the mood to sit and listen to their songs, no matter how much he really did like them. And he did like them, he did! So much, in fact, that when he started playing an upbeat melody - one that he'd had stuck in his head for weeks but just couldn't get down on paper - during one of his jam sessions with Greta, she was a little quick to pick up the tune and hum along with it, cheeky grin in place. Jon played through it for a minute, maybe two, before he realized how it was she'd found the rhythm so easily in the song he'd been trying to write. It was the song that had gotten The Hush Sound their recording contract.
2.
The second time it happened, Jon didn't realize that it had actually happened until everyone in the TRL studio was laughing at his joke [him].
The VJ had asked all of the guys what, if anything, they would change their band name to if they had the chance. Ryan said 'Burn Down the Disco'. Brendon called out '4 Guys, 1 Bus'. Spencer shrugged and said 'Blink 182'. Jon went with the Brandy Bunch approach - look around the room and say the first thing that you see - and, well, he was in New York. In a room full of windows.
It's not his fault he forgot that band Spencer had just gotten signed went by The Cab. He hadn't even heard the guys yet!
3.
The third time it happened, it wasn't even funny. Shane can shove it and stop laughing, okay, because it really, really wasn't funny at all.
Or, okay, maybe just a little bit.
When the guys were locked away in the cabin, they decided to all sit down and make some house rules. They sat in a little circle passing a clipboard clockwise ; when it reached them, they wrote down one rule - "No more, Ryan!" - and passed it on. They continued until the first person ran out.
[Incidentally, this is also how they would smoke up while in the cabin - sitting in a circle and passing a joint clockwise, taking a puff - "No more, Spencer!" - until it burned out. The amount of marijuana smoked on the night House Rules were made doesn't have anything to do with what happened, though. Mostly.]
Once they had a [217 item] list of House Rules - Jon's favorite being one Brendon put down: "16. Ryan's make up bag can contain no more than one color at any given time. Monochromatic themes are in this season" - they sat around and thought of concept albums that, sadly, didn't involve wolves.
Spencer, who was probably high enough to see across the Atlantic at this point, began to weave a sad, sad tale about 4 little billy goats who got lost in the woods. He talked and talked about the troll who controlled their food supply and how he said they needed to go out and earn the food they were eating, and who also said that they couldn't rely on their big, friendly giant friend to help them along. Spencer went on to tell about how the little billy goats found an abandoned hut to sleep in and how they all slept curled up on top of each other ["Yeah, I bet you'd like it if we were on top of you." "Shut up Brendon, I'm talking about the goats!"] The story finished, somehow, with the billy goats starting a beard growing contest since they obviously would never succeed in finding a way to get their own food and needed a source of entertainment.
"On that note," Spencer said, trying to right himself from the couch, "I'm going to go to bed. My cold, cold, lonely bed." Brendon faked a yawn and followed him out of the room, only to have Shane yell something after him about wrong hallways for bedrooms. Or something. Jon was more than half asleep at this point.
The next morning over breakfast - because 11:52am is still morning, thank you, and is therefore still breakfast time - Jon was smearing jam on his toast when he remembered his dream from the night before.
"Oh, hey! Guys! I had the coolest idea in a dream. We should start a beard growing contest, right? It's like, there's nothing else to do, since we don't have any ideas about the album, and-"
He was cut off simultaneously by a snort from Shane and Spencer's closed fist smacking the table.
"I thought that up last night, dude. You're always stealing everyone's shit!"
By the time Jon figured out that, hey, that actually happened and wasn't a dream, everyone had already continued on with their breakfast. Except for Shane, because Shane had no compassion for humanity.
"So, wait. Did Brendon actually follow you to bed last night then, too?"
Shane choked on his coffee and laughed all the way to the back porch, where he went to go call Regan.
4.
The fourth time it happened, he wound up getting tossed in a pool.
He met up in California with some of the guys in The Academy Is, and William went off about how he wanted to get a tattoo to commemorate all of the friends he's made and all of the amazing things the lot of them had achieved in the last few years. Jon, knowing that the more nostalgic William got the more likely it was for him to start telling all of his favorite stories about a 16 year-old Jon, tried to break up the trip down memory lane by throwing out random tattoo ideas.
"What about getting an ellipsis tattooed on your knuckles?"
The other guys all laughed, making jokes about how that could possibly be the stupidest knuckle tattoo ever.
"Or, oh! You could get "almost there" on your stomach."
William stands and lifts his shirt, all the while making lewd gestures around the obvious implications to the tattoo idea.
"Oh, wait! You can get "Santi" on your ass!" Jon starts laughing so hard that he doubles over, stopping only when he realizes he's the only one laughing.
He looks up to see a flash of Adam's face before he's being lifted out of his chair and tossed in the pool. He resurfaces just in time to see Adam turn around and pull his pants down just enough for the "Santi" on his ass to show.
Oh, yeah. That. Jon forgot.
5.
The fifth time it happened, it... actually. The fifth time was a totally different story.
Jon and Ryan and Spencer and Brendon had just recently become JonandRyan and SpencerandBrendon, and Jon and Ryan couldn't think of a single band name for their two parts of a whole. One of the days that they sat around going through songs, Jon had a line in one of his half-formed songs race through the back of his mind.
"Hey, what about The Young Veins?"
"That," Ryan started, smiling at Jon, "is actually a really good idea."