Crack: KHR! - 101 Texts You Would Rather Forget
Title: 101 Texts You Would Rather Forget - Vongola Style
Fandom: Katekyo Hitman Reborn (obviously)
Pairing: Various implied
Genre: Crack
Rating: everywhere between L for LULZ and NC-17 for imaginative things not to do when you're drunk
Disclaimer: If anyone asks - we own nothing. Which also happens to be the truth. No money made, for entertainment purposes only.
Summary: *points at title* It is what it is.
Warnings: implied sexual relationships, implied unhealthy emotional attachments to food and old Warner Bros. cartoons, hilarity, *headdesk*, pop culture references, possibly offensive language, did I mention CRACK?
A/N: Born from unbelievable boredom and a very helpful website called Texts From Last Night. Extremely inspiring, that website.
If you're looking to have a good laugh you've come to the right place.
Also, a big hand for my co-conspirators, please: lampazo_libre, rodickparker, and snapdraw_gone. These ladies, they are made of awesome, I tell you! Credit as credited :)
---
101 Texts You Would Rather Forget - Vongola Style
1. If I told you that I found your glasses in the toilet this morning what would you assume happened last night?- Just my theory, maybe I walked in when someone was there doing some business and got my head banging on the toilet? - Courtesy of codon85
2. I don't think that's lemon juice.
3. You know how we used one of Lambo's grenades in bed last night? I just found the safety pin.
4. Why is my pillow stuffed with pizza?
5. There's a cow in the meeting room.- That's Lambo. And you shouldn't talk so rudely about him.
- No. THERE'S AN ACTUAL COW IN THE MEETING ROOM!
6. Do you think it's possible to replicate the rain ring?- YOU LOST YOUR RING, IDIOT?!!!
- Not sure. Is sitting slightly uncomfortable for you today?
7. I'm Batman.
8. Do you speak Russian? Because I may have boarded the wrong flight after the party last night.
9. Suppose your boss has his girlfriend's panties stuck to the back of his head what would be a diplomatic way of making him aware of it?
10. Hey I can see your house from here!
11. Are you dead? Because I think I am.
12. Did I drunk dial you last night? And if so, did you hear anything?- Nothing usable.
13. You called the Icelandic Pallological Museum and asked if you could buy their entire collection. I only stopped you because you were about to give them our secret base as shipping address.
14. Myrighthand is glud toteh tabl. why?
15. How much money do we have in our accounts? I think I just bought Cuba.
- And why not Hawaii? Courtesy of kingro
16. Threesome?
17. I'm so glad Gokudera can't get pregnant because I accidentally sliced through all of the condoms with my sword last night. With the sharp one, not the other one HAHA - Yeah, so which one? :] Courtesy of misakihan
18. When I got back it was gone. But there was a pony and a box of Christmas decorations.
19. So is mylft foot. typng is awkwrd.
20. Do me a favour and don't google your name for a while, okay?
21. Hey Squalo! My dad says you prbly have our numbers mixed up in your phone book. He says he's never seen that typed out before. ???
22. When you said 'pushing that button may upset the space-time continuum' did you mean actually pushing it or stumbling against it?
23. YOUR MOM.
24. Need a lift?- No, m good, thx. Im still in the driveway.
- I know. I can see you from here. But that can't possibly be comfortable.
25. When I woke up this morning I had a plastic chicken glued to my head. Kept hoping it was an illusion but it's 2pm now and it's still there. Mukuro can't hate me that much, can he?
26. Xanxus and Squalo are doing it in Sawada's office. BRB getting licensing contract with porn distributor.
27. I can never look at the fridge the same way again.
28. Lambo's hair is really neat. Last night he pulled two beers out of it and said 'there's more where that came from'.
29. Do you want to make a baby with me tonight? <3- As much as I'd like to help, I'm not sure I can make that happen, boss. Maybe you should ask Kyoko instead?
30. I know Xanxus drinks a lot but have you ever seen him shitfaced?- Actually? No. Why're you asking?
- Because I'm contemplating posting the pictures online.
31. Do we have any allied families in Bangladesh? Apparently, I called there 17 times last night.
32. Why the fuck is my pubic hair trimmed into the shape of a heart, you asshole?!!!
33. On second thought, forget the question and please PLEASE tell me you did not go near my dick with a razor while you were drunk.
34. Just a theoretical question: How many times would I have to let you bite me to death if I puked into the reception room?
35. Man, I totally groped Adelheid's thigh last night! I AM THE MAN!- Are you sure? Because you seem to still be alive...
- You're right. Damn. Then whose thigh did I grab?
- IDK, but the pissed-off Italian down here might be able to help you with that.
36. Just a heads-up: never hold a lighter to Lambo's butt when he's had a bowl of beans. Btw we need to use Hibari's toilet for a while.
37. Hey. When you're done banging Hibari in there can you get me my toothbrush and the pair of pants hanging over the bathtub? I need to be at the airport in an hour.
38. You screamed at the guy 'If the Tenth wants a Fishmac with extra cheese he'll get a fucking Fishmac with extra cheese!' Only, we weren't even at McDonald's...
39. I was so drunk I registered on lovestruck.com as 'Oingo Boingo' and the site matched me up with Squalo. IDEK.
40. Dishwashers should come with a warning sign about not putting box animals in there. Even if they have been airbrushed.
41. I fucking love pianists!- Yamamoto, Stop sucking my finger. - Courtesy of codon85
42. Can you tell me what happened last night? Because I just woke up in bed with Hibari and Gokudera and I want to know how I managed that!!! Plz?
43. I don't know. I kept hearing this strange piano tune all the time. Any idea what that was?- You fell asleep on my cell phone, moron.
44. I ordered 20 dozen pizzas last night. From Italy.- As long as you don't have pineapples as one of the toppings, I'm good. Reply courtesy of snapdraw_gone
45. Hibari gives the term 'hitting on someone' a whole new meaning. Mukuro could write an entire article about it by now.
- Inform me where is he gonna publish it. I have my own article about 'drunk driving' or 'drunk riding', you know. Courtesy of kingro
46. MY OFFICE IS NOT THE BATHROOM YOU FUCKING IDIOTS. STOP PEEING ON THE FUCKING CARPET!- Stupid ahodera, you're always pee on that couch with that guy. Why should i can't? - Courtesy of codon85
47. I can never listen to our school anthem again without getting a boner.
48. Lambo just mixed Viagra into the punch. This should get interesting.
49. I'm at the hospital. Never EVER tell Hibari to 'suck harder'. You'll regret it.
50. Are we supposed to be on a ship?
51. Last night I'm pretty sure I saw the Toothfairy, Madonna and Sailor Moon hitting it off. Should I be worried?- Depends. Did you also see Ryohei, Lussuria and Bel?
- No. Where were they?
- The answer lies in your question.
52. This is Fran. Squalo can't answer his phone atm because he is hanging upside down from the balcony. There's a lot of screaming but I think he means to call you back.
53. You know, Bel's tiara is really really spikey... SEVEN STITCHES, MAN!
54. VOOOOOOOI!!!!!
55. Next time we do karaoke you should only pick instrumentals.
56. I turned to him and said 'I'll fuck you in about two beers.'- Wow, I'm surprised you're still alive.
- Yeah, me too. Turns out Hibari doesn't like to wait...
57. What exactly did we throw into the river last night? Because I've got a really smelly corpse in the trunk of my car.- You don't need to know, yakyu baka. Just some-stranger who saw us last night. - Courtesy of codon85
58. By 'cosplay' he means you're bottoming tonight.
59. She kept humming 'Eye of the tiger' the entire time. I'm in love to the extreme!
60. I'm in ur phonz txting myself.
61. I will bite you dead.- You know, somehow it doesn't quite have the same finesse as when you say it in person.
- Then turn around.
62. Just letting you know: The 9th was NOT amused when he found out that the pool has turned into strawberry jello. He also invites you all over for dinner.
63. I hate to tell you but yelling 'Autobots, roll out!' while sitting on a girl's bike isn't quite as cool as you think it is.
64. I am Jack's hysteric giggle fit.
65. Next time you play hide and seek with Lambo make sure he doesn't hide under our bed. Or at least find him before we have sex in that bed.
~~~ The following are courtesy of snapdraw_gone ~~~
66. Could you ask the Ninth's Storm if he's caught Road Runner yet?
67. I had the IT department check the surveillance cameras and I'm positive. It wasn't Mukuro you slept with last night, Gokudera-kun.- Oh thank god. But why was he calling my phone 45 times and bombarding my e-mail with death threats earlier this morning?
- He wants you to promise to provide child support for Chrome after the nine months are up and start putting together a college fund.
67a. It's a boy. >=) from Mukuro- Asshole don't cheat! It hasn't even been a week!
- Kufu... I'm just trying to help you in picking out the curtains for my godchild's nursery.
- Fuck you.
- If you did, you wouldn't be having these problems. >8DD
- I hate you.
68. What's your favorite boxers design?- I like the white one with the red flames. I think it makes Tsuna look like the Yondaime Hokage. =)
- I <3 the blue one with the yellow stars. =D
69. G-chan.- I'm not your grandpa. >=(
70. Are any of your dad's fish missing in your restaurant kitchen?- No, I don't think so. Why?
- Oh, OK. I was pretty sure I saw a tuna running down the street wearing only boxer shorts a minute ago.
71. G. =D- Yes?
- H
- huh?
- Sorry, I pressed the button twice. I meant to type in 'G'.
- Uhh... OK...
- These devices are incredibly fascinating, G. =D
- I see.
- (@|\| u r3@d +4!$, G? =D
- Good night, Primo.
- Ehh, G? You're going to bed already?
- G?
- G?
- GGGGGGGGGGGGGGG???!!! TT_TT
72. Group Message to Vongola Guardians: Guys, seriously, help: Hibari's asking who bit him last night. Why aren't any of you replying to my messages? TT_TT
73. Do you know anyone with the initials GV? I woke up with a tattoo of it on my butt and I don't remember ever going anywhere to get it last night.
74. Nyaow. -Uri- Gao -Nuts
- Nyaowr...? -Uri
- Gaoowr... -Nuts
75. The Ninth's Storm called a few minutes ago.- What? Why> O_o?
- He wants you to send him ten crates of your strongest dynamite pronto.
- Did he say what he needed them for?
- IDK. He said something about ACME not delivering to Italy at this time of the day.
76. VOOOOOOOOOIIIII ALRIGHT! ONE OF YOU IDIOTS, OWN UP ALREADY! WHO SWITCHED MY SWORD WITH AN UMBRELLA?- Levi did it~<3 <-from Lussuria
~~~ The following are courtesy of rodickparker ~~~
77. Your name's too long. I’ll call you H.- Why H?
- Because it's after G.
78. Do you still respect me this morning?
79. Where the hell are my underpants, idiot?!!
- But I made sure I wore my underpants this time. Oh not again, no wonder why it's so tight. Courtesy of kingro
80. Can you do the thing with your fingers again tonight?
81. I think I lost my phone. Whose phone is this?- I don't know. But, why does it have pink color. Is it a girl's phone? - Courtesy of codon85
82. You were extremely loud last night.
83. Do you still wanna have my baby?- How many do you want anyway? Reply courtesy of snapdraw_gone
84. Who the fuck is this?- hishishishsishii
85. I can't. Someone shaved all of my hair last night.
86. XD- fuck
87. :D- fuck off!!@!$!%$
88. Jyuudaime!Jyuudaime~- Gokudera-kun.
- Jyuudaime <3
- Gokudera-kun >__<
- Jyuuuuuudaimeeeee
- Gokudeeee2876ack!
- Stop. It. Now.
89. I didn’t know you like to bite.
90. Urrm, I think I left my gun at your place.
- May I know what place?
91. THAT WAS YOUUU??!!!
- Wait, that was yours? Courtesy of kingro
~~~ The following are courtesy of lampazo_libre ~~~
92. Hey how r u? I dun remember anything after the second bar and there is a hole in my shirt haha- I THINK THERE’S A HOLE IN MY ASS YOU DIPSHIT COME OVER ASAP
93. I’M SO SORRY TENTH I’M SORRY I’M INTENSELY SORRY FORGIVE ME TENTH I’M SORRY THE IDIOT IS SORRY TOO- It’s okay, Gokudera-kun, next time just please make sure that the curtain isn't transparent, oh and Kyoko-chan says hi and asks if she can meet up with you to discuss some, um, yoga stuff. Are you attending the same gym?
94. OMFG I’ve found Hibird’s body in my pocket!!!!!- Your flight to Timbuktu is in two hours; I’m requesting a political refugee for you asap.
- On second thought, it’s useless anyway. It’s been nice knowing you!
95. Hey Dera, check out youtube! We made the first page! Neat! ^_____^- What youtube?
- Haha wellllll, remember when Haru ran into us yesterday?
96. Do I want to know why I have skinned knees today? Furthermore, do I want to know if it has something to do with the snot on the carpet? At least I HOPE it’s snot. BETTER BE SNOT.
97. Yes, I saw her today, Yamamoto-sempai. She left the mansion around afternoon. Boss still is nowhere in sight, captain Squalo looks really traumatized, and I think she poisoned Bel-senpai’s pudding.- Haha ...Then you happened to see what she took from Gokudera's office? Like a small blue underpant? - Courtesy of codon85
~~~ More from snapdraw_gone \o/ ~~~
98. Are you still in the Vongola HQ in Italy?- Yeah. I'm leaving in a few hours though.
- OK. Could you do me a favor and pass on a message to Don Nougat?
- Sure. What is it?
- BEEP BEEP!
99. Shitt P. phone home!
100. Hey, Gokudera, I got two tickets to a Lady Gaga concert! Wanna come with? 8D
101. SEVEN DAYSSSS~~- Hiiiiieeeeee!!! Who the heck is this??? Please stop sending me these messages!!! I don't want to become a mafia boss!!!
---
So, you've got more? Toss 'em at us! Go crazy! Throw fireworks!
Fandom: Katekyo Hitman Reborn (obviously)
Pairing: Various implied
Genre: Crack
Rating: everywhere between L for LULZ and NC-17 for imaginative things not to do when you're drunk
Disclaimer: If anyone asks - we own nothing. Which also happens to be the truth. No money made, for entertainment purposes only.
Summary: *points at title* It is what it is.
Warnings: implied sexual relationships, implied unhealthy emotional attachments to food and old Warner Bros. cartoons, hilarity, *headdesk*, pop culture references, possibly offensive language, did I mention CRACK?
A/N: Born from unbelievable boredom and a very helpful website called Texts From Last Night. Extremely inspiring, that website.
If you're looking to have a good laugh you've come to the right place.
Also, a big hand for my co-conspirators, please: lampazo_libre, rodickparker, and snapdraw_gone. These ladies, they are made of awesome, I tell you! Credit as credited :)
---
101 Texts You Would Rather Forget - Vongola Style
1. If I told you that I found your glasses in the toilet this morning what would you assume happened last night?- Just my theory, maybe I walked in when someone was there doing some business and got my head banging on the toilet? - Courtesy of codon85
2. I don't think that's lemon juice.
3. You know how we used one of Lambo's grenades in bed last night? I just found the safety pin.
4. Why is my pillow stuffed with pizza?
5. There's a cow in the meeting room.- That's Lambo. And you shouldn't talk so rudely about him.
- No. THERE'S AN ACTUAL COW IN THE MEETING ROOM!
6. Do you think it's possible to replicate the rain ring?- YOU LOST YOUR RING, IDIOT?!!!
- Not sure. Is sitting slightly uncomfortable for you today?
7. I'm Batman.
8. Do you speak Russian? Because I may have boarded the wrong flight after the party last night.
9. Suppose your boss has his girlfriend's panties stuck to the back of his head what would be a diplomatic way of making him aware of it?
10. Hey I can see your house from here!
11. Are you dead? Because I think I am.
12. Did I drunk dial you last night? And if so, did you hear anything?- Nothing usable.
13. You called the Icelandic Pallological Museum and asked if you could buy their entire collection. I only stopped you because you were about to give them our secret base as shipping address.
14. Myrighthand is glud toteh tabl. why?
15. How much money do we have in our accounts? I think I just bought Cuba.
- And why not Hawaii? Courtesy of kingro
16. Threesome?
17. I'm so glad Gokudera can't get pregnant because I accidentally sliced through all of the condoms with my sword last night. With the sharp one, not the other one HAHA - Yeah, so which one? :] Courtesy of misakihan
18. When I got back it was gone. But there was a pony and a box of Christmas decorations.
19. So is mylft foot. typng is awkwrd.
20. Do me a favour and don't google your name for a while, okay?
21. Hey Squalo! My dad says you prbly have our numbers mixed up in your phone book. He says he's never seen that typed out before. ???
22. When you said 'pushing that button may upset the space-time continuum' did you mean actually pushing it or stumbling against it?
23. YOUR MOM.
24. Need a lift?- No, m good, thx. Im still in the driveway.
- I know. I can see you from here. But that can't possibly be comfortable.
25. When I woke up this morning I had a plastic chicken glued to my head. Kept hoping it was an illusion but it's 2pm now and it's still there. Mukuro can't hate me that much, can he?
26. Xanxus and Squalo are doing it in Sawada's office. BRB getting licensing contract with porn distributor.
27. I can never look at the fridge the same way again.
28. Lambo's hair is really neat. Last night he pulled two beers out of it and said 'there's more where that came from'.
29. Do you want to make a baby with me tonight? <3- As much as I'd like to help, I'm not sure I can make that happen, boss. Maybe you should ask Kyoko instead?
30. I know Xanxus drinks a lot but have you ever seen him shitfaced?- Actually? No. Why're you asking?
- Because I'm contemplating posting the pictures online.
31. Do we have any allied families in Bangladesh? Apparently, I called there 17 times last night.
32. Why the fuck is my pubic hair trimmed into the shape of a heart, you asshole?!!!
33. On second thought, forget the question and please PLEASE tell me you did not go near my dick with a razor while you were drunk.
34. Just a theoretical question: How many times would I have to let you bite me to death if I puked into the reception room?
35. Man, I totally groped Adelheid's thigh last night! I AM THE MAN!- Are you sure? Because you seem to still be alive...
- You're right. Damn. Then whose thigh did I grab?
- IDK, but the pissed-off Italian down here might be able to help you with that.
36. Just a heads-up: never hold a lighter to Lambo's butt when he's had a bowl of beans. Btw we need to use Hibari's toilet for a while.
37. Hey. When you're done banging Hibari in there can you get me my toothbrush and the pair of pants hanging over the bathtub? I need to be at the airport in an hour.
38. You screamed at the guy 'If the Tenth wants a Fishmac with extra cheese he'll get a fucking Fishmac with extra cheese!' Only, we weren't even at McDonald's...
39. I was so drunk I registered on lovestruck.com as 'Oingo Boingo' and the site matched me up with Squalo. IDEK.
40. Dishwashers should come with a warning sign about not putting box animals in there. Even if they have been airbrushed.
41. I fucking love pianists!- Yamamoto, Stop sucking my finger. - Courtesy of codon85
42. Can you tell me what happened last night? Because I just woke up in bed with Hibari and Gokudera and I want to know how I managed that!!! Plz?
43. I don't know. I kept hearing this strange piano tune all the time. Any idea what that was?- You fell asleep on my cell phone, moron.
44. I ordered 20 dozen pizzas last night. From Italy.- As long as you don't have pineapples as one of the toppings, I'm good. Reply courtesy of snapdraw_gone
45. Hibari gives the term 'hitting on someone' a whole new meaning. Mukuro could write an entire article about it by now.
- Inform me where is he gonna publish it. I have my own article about 'drunk driving' or 'drunk riding', you know. Courtesy of kingro
46. MY OFFICE IS NOT THE BATHROOM YOU FUCKING IDIOTS. STOP PEEING ON THE FUCKING CARPET!- Stupid ahodera, you're always pee on that couch with that guy. Why should i can't? - Courtesy of codon85
47. I can never listen to our school anthem again without getting a boner.
48. Lambo just mixed Viagra into the punch. This should get interesting.
49. I'm at the hospital. Never EVER tell Hibari to 'suck harder'. You'll regret it.
50. Are we supposed to be on a ship?
51. Last night I'm pretty sure I saw the Toothfairy, Madonna and Sailor Moon hitting it off. Should I be worried?- Depends. Did you also see Ryohei, Lussuria and Bel?
- No. Where were they?
- The answer lies in your question.
52. This is Fran. Squalo can't answer his phone atm because he is hanging upside down from the balcony. There's a lot of screaming but I think he means to call you back.
53. You know, Bel's tiara is really really spikey... SEVEN STITCHES, MAN!
54. VOOOOOOOI!!!!!
55. Next time we do karaoke you should only pick instrumentals.
56. I turned to him and said 'I'll fuck you in about two beers.'- Wow, I'm surprised you're still alive.
- Yeah, me too. Turns out Hibari doesn't like to wait...
57. What exactly did we throw into the river last night? Because I've got a really smelly corpse in the trunk of my car.- You don't need to know, yakyu baka. Just some-stranger who saw us last night. - Courtesy of codon85
58. By 'cosplay' he means you're bottoming tonight.
59. She kept humming 'Eye of the tiger' the entire time. I'm in love to the extreme!
60. I'm in ur phonz txting myself.
61. I will bite you dead.- You know, somehow it doesn't quite have the same finesse as when you say it in person.
- Then turn around.
62. Just letting you know: The 9th was NOT amused when he found out that the pool has turned into strawberry jello. He also invites you all over for dinner.
63. I hate to tell you but yelling 'Autobots, roll out!' while sitting on a girl's bike isn't quite as cool as you think it is.
64. I am Jack's hysteric giggle fit.
65. Next time you play hide and seek with Lambo make sure he doesn't hide under our bed. Or at least find him before we have sex in that bed.
~~~ The following are courtesy of snapdraw_gone ~~~
66. Could you ask the Ninth's Storm if he's caught Road Runner yet?
67. I had the IT department check the surveillance cameras and I'm positive. It wasn't Mukuro you slept with last night, Gokudera-kun.- Oh thank god. But why was he calling my phone 45 times and bombarding my e-mail with death threats earlier this morning?
- He wants you to promise to provide child support for Chrome after the nine months are up and start putting together a college fund.
67a. It's a boy. >=) from Mukuro- Asshole don't cheat! It hasn't even been a week!
- Kufu... I'm just trying to help you in picking out the curtains for my godchild's nursery.
- Fuck you.
- If you did, you wouldn't be having these problems. >8DD
- I hate you.
68. What's your favorite boxers design?- I like the white one with the red flames. I think it makes Tsuna look like the Yondaime Hokage. =)
- I <3 the blue one with the yellow stars. =D
69. G-chan.- I'm not your grandpa. >=(
70. Are any of your dad's fish missing in your restaurant kitchen?- No, I don't think so. Why?
- Oh, OK. I was pretty sure I saw a tuna running down the street wearing only boxer shorts a minute ago.
71. G. =D- Yes?
- H
- huh?
- Sorry, I pressed the button twice. I meant to type in 'G'.
- Uhh... OK...
- These devices are incredibly fascinating, G. =D
- I see.
- (@|\| u r3@d +4!$, G? =D
- Good night, Primo.
- Ehh, G? You're going to bed already?
- G?
- G?
- GGGGGGGGGGGGGGG???!!! TT_TT
72. Group Message to Vongola Guardians: Guys, seriously, help: Hibari's asking who bit him last night. Why aren't any of you replying to my messages? TT_TT
73. Do you know anyone with the initials GV? I woke up with a tattoo of it on my butt and I don't remember ever going anywhere to get it last night.
74. Nyaow. -Uri- Gao -Nuts
- Nyaowr...? -Uri
- Gaoowr... -Nuts
75. The Ninth's Storm called a few minutes ago.- What? Why> O_o?
- He wants you to send him ten crates of your strongest dynamite pronto.
- Did he say what he needed them for?
- IDK. He said something about ACME not delivering to Italy at this time of the day.
76. VOOOOOOOOOIIIII ALRIGHT! ONE OF YOU IDIOTS, OWN UP ALREADY! WHO SWITCHED MY SWORD WITH AN UMBRELLA?- Levi did it~<3 <-from Lussuria
~~~ The following are courtesy of rodickparker ~~~
77. Your name's too long. I’ll call you H.- Why H?
- Because it's after G.
78. Do you still respect me this morning?
79. Where the hell are my underpants, idiot?!!
- But I made sure I wore my underpants this time. Oh not again, no wonder why it's so tight. Courtesy of kingro
80. Can you do the thing with your fingers again tonight?
81. I think I lost my phone. Whose phone is this?- I don't know. But, why does it have pink color. Is it a girl's phone? - Courtesy of codon85
82. You were extremely loud last night.
83. Do you still wanna have my baby?- How many do you want anyway? Reply courtesy of snapdraw_gone
84. Who the fuck is this?- hishishishsishii
85. I can't. Someone shaved all of my hair last night.
86. XD- fuck
87. :D- fuck off!!@!$!%$
88. Jyuudaime!Jyuudaime~- Gokudera-kun.
- Jyuudaime <3
- Gokudera-kun >__<
- Jyuuuuuudaimeeeee
- Gokudeeee2876ack!
- Stop. It. Now.
89. I didn’t know you like to bite.
90. Urrm, I think I left my gun at your place.
- May I know what place?
91. THAT WAS YOUUU??!!!
- Wait, that was yours? Courtesy of kingro
~~~ The following are courtesy of lampazo_libre ~~~
92. Hey how r u? I dun remember anything after the second bar and there is a hole in my shirt haha- I THINK THERE’S A HOLE IN MY ASS YOU DIPSHIT COME OVER ASAP
93. I’M SO SORRY TENTH I’M SORRY I’M INTENSELY SORRY FORGIVE ME TENTH I’M SORRY THE IDIOT IS SORRY TOO- It’s okay, Gokudera-kun, next time just please make sure that the curtain isn't transparent, oh and Kyoko-chan says hi and asks if she can meet up with you to discuss some, um, yoga stuff. Are you attending the same gym?
94. OMFG I’ve found Hibird’s body in my pocket!!!!!- Your flight to Timbuktu is in two hours; I’m requesting a political refugee for you asap.
- On second thought, it’s useless anyway. It’s been nice knowing you!
95. Hey Dera, check out youtube! We made the first page! Neat! ^_____^- What youtube?
- Haha wellllll, remember when Haru ran into us yesterday?
96. Do I want to know why I have skinned knees today? Furthermore, do I want to know if it has something to do with the snot on the carpet? At least I HOPE it’s snot. BETTER BE SNOT.
97. Yes, I saw her today, Yamamoto-sempai. She left the mansion around afternoon. Boss still is nowhere in sight, captain Squalo looks really traumatized, and I think she poisoned Bel-senpai’s pudding.- Haha ...Then you happened to see what she took from Gokudera's office? Like a small blue underpant? - Courtesy of codon85
~~~ More from snapdraw_gone \o/ ~~~
98. Are you still in the Vongola HQ in Italy?- Yeah. I'm leaving in a few hours though.
- OK. Could you do me a favor and pass on a message to Don Nougat?
- Sure. What is it?
- BEEP BEEP!
99. Shitt P. phone home!
100. Hey, Gokudera, I got two tickets to a Lady Gaga concert! Wanna come with? 8D
101. SEVEN DAYSSSS~~- Hiiiiieeeeee!!! Who the heck is this??? Please stop sending me these messages!!! I don't want to become a mafia boss!!!
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So, you've got more? Toss 'em at us! Go crazy! Throw fireworks!