FIC: KHR! - *Heroes not Included - Part I ~ Chapter 1
Title: *Heroes not Included
Part I: No Replacements, No Refunds
Fandom: Katekyo Hitman Reborn
Pairing: 1859 - Hibari/Gokudera
Genre: Humour, case fic, AU
Rating: PG-13 (applies to all chapters unless otherwise stated)
Word count: overall ~ 24,500 | Chapter 1: ~ 2,970
Chapters (click to jump to): 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8
Disclaimer: Amano Akira owns the characters and the series. For entertainment purposes only; no money made.
Beta: Battling against my grammar, spelling and lack of punctuation - kentucka. General hand-holding, sympathetic pats on the back and pointing out where this sucks, or where it doesn't - rodicks & doomcake. Remaining mistakes are mine alone.
Summary: Gokudera's career as a rather gifted thief comes to an abrupt end when special agent Hibari finally catches up with him. And if that wasn't bad enough Hibari puts him to work for the FBI. Naturally, Gokudera is less than pleased but he has an agenda of his own and therefore is forced to play along. Things start to get complicated though when the Varia show up to wreck havoc and Gokudera begins to wonder if he hasn't been too quick to judge the ever aloof agent.
Warnings: (applicable to all chapters) PWP, as in 'Plot? WHOA, PLOT!'. Gokudera's mouth, as always. The Varia, in their capacity as vicious living nightmares. Eventually, affection of the m/m variety but nothing explicit.
--> Part I is complete and can be read as stand-alone but, in theory, there should be two more parts. Look at it like... a mini TV series perhaps XD <--
A/N: First and foremost, a huge, resounding, if not downright mountainous THANK YOU to my three lovely betas/professional hand-holders/cheerleaders/critics/etc. ♥ This has been under construction for almost a year and without you guys I wouldn't have made it beyond the first 100 words. Especially kentucka, who has had to listen to me ramble on about this for hours on end and still managed to provide me with brilliant ideas on how to move this thing along. I think I stole years of your life. /o\ Sorry.
Also, apologies to my flist who must have begun to think this thing doesn't even exist. And in case anybody is wondering: fic header thingy done by me. I've grown so attached to this idea that I felt it deserved something special. Regardless of lacking drawing skills LOL
This is vaguely based on a show called White Collar. Although I guess the similarities hardly go beyond the fact that this revolves around a fed and a crook. If you've seen the show you'll know what I mean. If you haven't... WHY? Watch eeeet ;)
~*~*~
~Part I~
No Replacements, No Refunds
Silence reigned over the building. Its usual inhabitants were out, leaving their home guarded only by a pitbull called 'Zeus' and a semi-sophisticated alarm system.
The alarm system hadn't presented a problem but 'Zeus', as it turned out, wore his name for a reason. He did put the fear of God in you. But even that had been taken care of and while Gokudera was still inspecting the hole in his pants Zeus was happily chewing on a raw steak that Gokudera had found in the fridge. It had been either that or his leg - the decision was easy.
As soon as all obstacles had been cleared Gokudera made ready to face the final stage of his endeavour. He eyed the massive safe door and then began to rummage through the small duffel bag he'd brought. He carefully arranged his tools in the order he was going to need them in. The security system of the safe was an independent circuit and could not be disabled with the rest of the alarms. But Gokudera had cracked more difficult safes than this one so he was quite confident.
He unrolled a set of blueprints and started lightly knocking on the wall surrounding the safe door until he found a spot that made a hollow sound. When he turned back to fetch the cutting wire he found Zeus lounging around on his blueprints. He was drooling on the specifications.
First, Gokudera tried to shoo the stupid dog away but Zeus only blinked at him and lapped up a thin string of spit. Gokudera forced himself to remain quiet and went for the hands-on approach but the bloody mongrel weighed about a ton and woudn't budge. He even rolled over and waited for Gokudera to rub his belly.
"I am so not doing that," Gokudera whispered, pushing Zeus at least far enough off the thin papers that he could read the instructions. "Get a life, you stupid mutt."
Gokudera glared at the dog. It gave him the upside-down version of a ten-year-old's hurt look and whined. Gokudera could deal with a lot, really, but the psychology of dogs was not among his fields of expertise.
"No!" Gokudera hissed and waved a hand in front of the dog's face. "Now go play somewhere else. In the Antarctic, for preference."
He didn't have time for this (pit-)bullshit. Neither did he need the distraction. He couldn't have a noisy dog nearby when he was working on a security system that responded to sound - among other things. Gokudera sighed and with a considerable amount of disgust put his hand on the huge belly and started rubbing. In response Zeus continued to completely rumple Gokudera's valuable papers by rolling around and grumbling contentedly.
"Alright," Gokudera announced after what felt like hours of patting a belly the size of Northern America, "that's enough. Now go and... I don't know, chew on the furniture or something. But for fuck's sake, leave me in peace."
Zeus lazily shifted onto his side and firmly remained there, snoring like a goddamned ship's engine.
Gokudera briefly thought about strangling the dog but decided that it would be best not to have a dead dog to dispose of later. At least the godawful animal was sleeping now. It was better than nothing.
"Fine," Gokudera muttered and dragged his duffel bag out from underneath Zeus' immense head. Not that the dog seemed to notice anyway.
Gokudera quietly cursed the dog in all languages available to him as he set to work on the panel he'd spotted earlier. He fixed the flammable wire to the panel and watched it burn through the wood with barely any noise. As expected, the hole revealed a bunch of wires and Gokudera instantly felt a lot better. Zeus seemed to remain the only complication tonight.
He quickly identified the wires that required cutting or rearranging and not five minutes later he had his laptop attached to the cables and the decoding algorithms were up and running. The door gave a click and then metal creaked against oiled metal when the steel bolts slid back somewhere inside.
"Ecco fatto." Gokudera smiled smugly and poked the snoring dog, "See? I'm unstoppable." Zeus didn't react beyond drooling onto the carpet but Gokudera couldn't care less. He was seconds away from holding a beautiful masterpiece of music history in his hands - a genuine Vuillaume violin. He'd been eyeing it ever since it had popped up on an auction list half a year ago. His fingers were twitching in anticipation when he thought about the great musicians who had played it. It was a shame to let it rot in a vault.
He spun the huge wheel and stepped back to allow the door to swing open. The last few inches required a bit of help on his part but once he had squeezed past the solid door the lights in the secure room flickered to life and Gokudera gave a satisfied sigh.
Only to find a dark-haired man in an exquisite suit sitting on a foldable chair in the middle of the room.
"Holy fff-," Gokudera stumbled backwards. His foot got caught in the door frame and he landed butt-first on the floor outside the safe.
When he was done spitting profanities at the world he scrambled up to lean on his elbows and finally dared to take another look at the man. Sadly, that didn't make him go away either.
"Hibari Kyouya." Gokudera stated, not sure if he should laugh, cry or throw random furniture at the unexpected visitor.
"Special agent Hibari." The man corrected as he stepped out of the vault and towered over Gokudera like the proverbial sword of Damocles, "Gokudera Hayato, you are hereby arrested for breaking and entering, grand theft, forgery, identity theft and concealment of stolen goods."
"What, no parking tickets?"
Hibari leaned down and the smile on his face was the equivalent of a cell door falling shut, "I only mentioned the more prominent of your crimes. I'm sure the actual arraignment will be far longer."
Gokudera's mind raced but he would have been fooling himself if he believed that there was still a way out of this. He let out a long, exhausted breath and slumped back. He closed his eyes in the vague hope that the man would just disappear. When Hibari hauled him up from the floor Gokudera finally gave in, "Well, fuck."
---
Gokudera hadn't always been a thief. He'd started out as a pickpocket and then realised that it was sometimes much less of a hassle to nick things from people's homes instead of their pockets. For one, he didn't have to deal with any pissed-off old ladies screaming bloody murder in the middle of the street.
He'd spent half of his life running from his family and the other running from various national and international authorities. He was good, oh, he was very good and he would have been lying if he said he didn't enjoy it. But even the most fun job tended to dull a little if it lacked... challenge.
And then Hibari Kyouya had come along. He'd first introduced his tonfa to Gokudera's face and then himself. Gokudera had only escaped because he'd still carried some of the dynamite that he'd used to blow open a sealed container. Even months after that Gokudera had kept a stick or two on his person, just to be safe.
Hibari had been irritating right from the beginning. He didn't act or react like the other FBI agents. Actually, he didn't do anything like other human beings would. Sometimes Gokudera wondered if he even breathed or if he just lived off the fear he induced. And if that had been Gokudera's only cause for worry he would have been well off. But Hibari turned out to be a great deal more persistent and above all clever than most agents Gokudera had run into before.
Gokudera had to get ever more inventive to stay that vital step ahead. Still, after two years of pursuit - which was considerably longer than any other authority had ever hunted him without respite - Gokudera only had a handful of hideouts left that Hibari hadn't discovered yet. And the number of allies still at large had been decreasing at a shocking rate as well.
But two years was a long time - enough time to do some information gathering of his own. It never hurt to know your enemy. Hibari's file read like a living nightmare for every upstanding criminal. The man was still a youngster at the Bureau but his list of arrests was already longer than Gokudera's entire arm. Strangely, so was the list of assault charges filed against him. None of the charges had ever made it in front of a judge but the fact remained. The accusers ranged from middle-aged ladies to known murderers. Hibari's sense of justice was a bit too finely tuned for others to get it.
Either way; they had danced around each other for two years and it had only been a matter of time until one stepped onto the other's toes. Gokudera would have preferred it the other way around though.
---
This place was a joke. Clearly, someone was trying to prank him.
Gokudera had spent half a week in this prison and had already counted a total of six ways to escape. The only thing that stopped him was a suspicious-looking black limousine waiting outside the gates every day. It didn't do anything in particular and at times Gokudera was almost certain it had merely been parked there and forgotten. But every now and then a tiny yellow bird fluttered towards it and a window would open a fraction to let it inside.
Gokudera groaned when he stepped away from the window in the dining hall, having just enjoyed a perfect view of the familiar black car. He didn't need three guesses to know who was inside.
"Hey, octopus head!"
Gokudera flinched. He resisted the urge to fling his full tray in the direction of the aggravatingly loud call.
"Octopus head!"
"What?" Gokudera spun around, almost splattering pudding all over his neighbour in the queue. A prison guard whose name Gokudera only remembered because the dumb jock kept calling him by that infuriating nickname jogged over to him.
"You've got a visitor." Sasagawa smiled at him as if he was handing over the Declaration of Independence.
"Now?" Gokudera glanced at the huge clock at the other end of the hall, "Visiting hours aren't until two."
Sasagawa leaned closer and whispered, "Special clearance. If you catch my drift."
"No, I don't. And why are you whispering?"
The queue behind Gokudera was beginning to get a little impatient. The guard shot the rest of the inmates a warning glare and the commotion died down immediately - if nothing else he had at least gained the prisoners' respect.
"Come on." Sasagawa tugged Gokudera towards the exit.
"Hey! What the Hell? I was about to eat that, you turf-headed numbskull!" Gokudera's tray landed on a nearby table when Sasagawa had successfully removed it from his protective grip.
"Sorry," the guard gave him an apologetic look, "but I'll save some for you, okay?"
He seemed particularly proud of that idea. Gokudera rolled his eyes, "Whatever makes you happy, airhead."
---
"You've got to be kidding me." Gokudera slid lower on his chair and let his head rest on the backrest, "What the fuck are you doing here? Come to revel in your triumph?"
"Hardly." Hibari turned away from the window and finally sat down opposite him. His facial expression indicated that he liked being there about as much as Gokudera. Right now Gokudera would have rather bathed in acid than spend the next few minutes in one room with Hibari.
"Then what did you come here for?" Gokudera sighed and scrambled to sit upright again. There were certain aspects of courtesy even a mortal enemy had the right to be shown. His father hadn't taught him much but that had stuck.
Hibari pushed a file over the table. It was full of pictures of a bank - in several stages of robbery, apparently.
"I didn't do that," Gokudera pointed at the photographs. He was only half-serious. The last time he'd done a bank job was four years ago and that hadn't gone well at all.
"I know," Hibari said stoically, "it happened yesterday."
If the man had any sense of humour he certainly didn't like to show it. But Gokudera suspected it had been surgically removed when the aliens had dropped him off on this planet to ensure world domination - or something along those lines anyway. Gokudera shuffled through the images until he recognised something, "Ah, that was the hostage thing that was on TV last night, wasn't it?"
Hibari raised an eyebrow in question.
"They've got cable in here. I hope you didn't bet on the Packers last night, by the way," Gokudera explained with a shrug.
"Just look at the pictures." Hibari's patience was wearing thin.
"And what?" Gokudera picked up random pages and studied them before tossing them back onto the pile, "What am I supposed to tell you? That they got away? I think you already know that."
He was grating on Hibari's nerves, he could tell. Gokudera just hoped they had confiscated the agent's tonfa at the gate.
"I want you to tell me how they made it out."
"How the Hell should I know?" Gokudera snorted and if he hadn't been handcuffed to the damned chair he would have stuffed the pile of pictures right down Hibari's throat.
"Because I believe you've worked with them before." There was the tiniest hint of a knowing smile on Hibari's face - which furthered the impulse to make him choke on something.
"Worked with a lot of guys," that was a lie and they both knew it. Gokudera avoided working with others as much as possible. It minimized the risk of getting screwed over and it made dividing the take much easier. Unfortunately, there were times when joining a crew was the only way to go.
Hibari selected a grainy screenshot they had pulled off a security camera and put it on top of the stack. It showed everything you would expect at a robbery: terrified hostages, huddled together in a corner and masked people with guns. Although, a second glance revealed this group of robbers to be of the more unique kind. Only one of them appeared to be carrying any firearms. The others either didn't reveal their weapons or were waving them around in front of some poor hostages who were probably pissing their pants. One of those weapons was a rather impressive sword.
There was only one crew out there with that particular combination of weaponry.
Gokudera nibbled at his lower lip, lost in thought. He considered his options. There was special agent Hibari, depending on his insight and probably allowed to make all kinds of concessions in exchange for useful information. And then there was certain death by tonfa - and if not that then by bare hands, that much Gokudera could be sure of.
But from nothing nothing comes, right?
"What's in it for me?" Gokudera leaned back. He was only half as smug as he looked. The other half was eyeing the door.
"Reduced sentence and transfer to a low-level security facility." Hibari stated as if it was the only thing he could say without jumping over the table and mangling Gokudera.
Gokudera refrained from breaking out into full-fledged laughter. 'Low-level security' - what was that then? A kindergarten? This couldn't possibly be everything that Hibari had up his sleeve.
He shook his head no, "Sorry. Can't help you."
Hibari looked at him for a while and then seemed to come to a conclusion. He slowly reached into his inside pocket and produced an official-looking envelope which he dropped onto the photographs. He hesitated only the slightest bit.
"What's that?"
"I thought you could read?"
"Jackass." Gokudera unfolded the document and skimmed through it. Damn, if he'd known he was going to do so much reading today he would have brought his glasses. But he got the gist of it - even if he didn't believe it.
"Are you serious?" He looked up at Hibari with wide eyes.
"I'm afraid so," Hibari had obviously hoped not to have to play this specific card, "if you agree you are to be released into my custody for the duration of the case at hand. Your movements will be monitored via an electronic anklet. If you should step outside a one mile radius or leave my sight whenever we are working on the case there will be severe consequences, I assure you."
That was the longest string of sentences he had ever heard Hibari say. Maybe that was why Gokudera was still stuck at 'my custody'.
"Wait," Gokudera narrowed his eyes, "your custody? Does that mean we... I mean, do we have to... like, live together?"
Utter horror didn't even begin to cover it.
"No," Hibari sounded disgusted, "you'll be given a place to stay. And you'll be under twenty-four hour surveillance."
"Would that be the 'Peeking at you under the shower' kind of surveillance or the one where I'll have my own personal FBI guard dog?"
"Depends on your behaviour," Hibari smiled but it was grim. His idea of surveillance was probably to chain Gokudera up in a cellar. "So, yes or no?"
Gokudera rather liked the idea of getting some fresh air again. And he would figure out a way to rid himself of that anklet once he was out.
"Just one question," Gokudera held up the still image from the security camera and smirked, "was one of the robbers really really loud?"
~*~*~
FYI:
Ecco fatto. (Ital.) - There./'Done!'
On to --> Chapter 2
Part I: No Replacements, No Refunds
Fandom: Katekyo Hitman Reborn
Pairing: 1859 - Hibari/Gokudera
Genre: Humour, case fic, AU
Rating: PG-13 (applies to all chapters unless otherwise stated)
Word count: overall ~ 24,500 | Chapter 1: ~ 2,970
Chapters (click to jump to): 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8
Disclaimer: Amano Akira owns the characters and the series. For entertainment purposes only; no money made.
Beta: Battling against my grammar, spelling and lack of punctuation - kentucka. General hand-holding, sympathetic pats on the back and pointing out where this sucks, or where it doesn't - rodicks & doomcake. Remaining mistakes are mine alone.
Summary: Gokudera's career as a rather gifted thief comes to an abrupt end when special agent Hibari finally catches up with him. And if that wasn't bad enough Hibari puts him to work for the FBI. Naturally, Gokudera is less than pleased but he has an agenda of his own and therefore is forced to play along. Things start to get complicated though when the Varia show up to wreck havoc and Gokudera begins to wonder if he hasn't been too quick to judge the ever aloof agent.
Warnings: (applicable to all chapters) PWP, as in 'Plot? WHOA, PLOT!'. Gokudera's mouth, as always. The Varia, in their capacity as vicious living nightmares. Eventually, affection of the m/m variety but nothing explicit.
--> Part I is complete and can be read as stand-alone but, in theory, there should be two more parts. Look at it like... a mini TV series perhaps XD <--
A/N: First and foremost, a huge, resounding, if not downright mountainous THANK YOU to my three lovely betas/professional hand-holders/cheerleaders/critics/etc. ♥ This has been under construction for almost a year and without you guys I wouldn't have made it beyond the first 100 words. Especially kentucka, who has had to listen to me ramble on about this for hours on end and still managed to provide me with brilliant ideas on how to move this thing along. I think I stole years of your life. /o\ Sorry.
Also, apologies to my flist who must have begun to think this thing doesn't even exist. And in case anybody is wondering: fic header thingy done by me. I've grown so attached to this idea that I felt it deserved something special. Regardless of lacking drawing skills LOL
This is vaguely based on a show called White Collar. Although I guess the similarities hardly go beyond the fact that this revolves around a fed and a crook. If you've seen the show you'll know what I mean. If you haven't... WHY? Watch eeeet ;)
~*~*~
~Part I~
No Replacements, No Refunds
Silence reigned over the building. Its usual inhabitants were out, leaving their home guarded only by a pitbull called 'Zeus' and a semi-sophisticated alarm system.
The alarm system hadn't presented a problem but 'Zeus', as it turned out, wore his name for a reason. He did put the fear of God in you. But even that had been taken care of and while Gokudera was still inspecting the hole in his pants Zeus was happily chewing on a raw steak that Gokudera had found in the fridge. It had been either that or his leg - the decision was easy.
As soon as all obstacles had been cleared Gokudera made ready to face the final stage of his endeavour. He eyed the massive safe door and then began to rummage through the small duffel bag he'd brought. He carefully arranged his tools in the order he was going to need them in. The security system of the safe was an independent circuit and could not be disabled with the rest of the alarms. But Gokudera had cracked more difficult safes than this one so he was quite confident.
He unrolled a set of blueprints and started lightly knocking on the wall surrounding the safe door until he found a spot that made a hollow sound. When he turned back to fetch the cutting wire he found Zeus lounging around on his blueprints. He was drooling on the specifications.
First, Gokudera tried to shoo the stupid dog away but Zeus only blinked at him and lapped up a thin string of spit. Gokudera forced himself to remain quiet and went for the hands-on approach but the bloody mongrel weighed about a ton and woudn't budge. He even rolled over and waited for Gokudera to rub his belly.
"I am so not doing that," Gokudera whispered, pushing Zeus at least far enough off the thin papers that he could read the instructions. "Get a life, you stupid mutt."
Gokudera glared at the dog. It gave him the upside-down version of a ten-year-old's hurt look and whined. Gokudera could deal with a lot, really, but the psychology of dogs was not among his fields of expertise.
"No!" Gokudera hissed and waved a hand in front of the dog's face. "Now go play somewhere else. In the Antarctic, for preference."
He didn't have time for this (pit-)bullshit. Neither did he need the distraction. He couldn't have a noisy dog nearby when he was working on a security system that responded to sound - among other things. Gokudera sighed and with a considerable amount of disgust put his hand on the huge belly and started rubbing. In response Zeus continued to completely rumple Gokudera's valuable papers by rolling around and grumbling contentedly.
"Alright," Gokudera announced after what felt like hours of patting a belly the size of Northern America, "that's enough. Now go and... I don't know, chew on the furniture or something. But for fuck's sake, leave me in peace."
Zeus lazily shifted onto his side and firmly remained there, snoring like a goddamned ship's engine.
Gokudera briefly thought about strangling the dog but decided that it would be best not to have a dead dog to dispose of later. At least the godawful animal was sleeping now. It was better than nothing.
"Fine," Gokudera muttered and dragged his duffel bag out from underneath Zeus' immense head. Not that the dog seemed to notice anyway.
Gokudera quietly cursed the dog in all languages available to him as he set to work on the panel he'd spotted earlier. He fixed the flammable wire to the panel and watched it burn through the wood with barely any noise. As expected, the hole revealed a bunch of wires and Gokudera instantly felt a lot better. Zeus seemed to remain the only complication tonight.
He quickly identified the wires that required cutting or rearranging and not five minutes later he had his laptop attached to the cables and the decoding algorithms were up and running. The door gave a click and then metal creaked against oiled metal when the steel bolts slid back somewhere inside.
"Ecco fatto." Gokudera smiled smugly and poked the snoring dog, "See? I'm unstoppable." Zeus didn't react beyond drooling onto the carpet but Gokudera couldn't care less. He was seconds away from holding a beautiful masterpiece of music history in his hands - a genuine Vuillaume violin. He'd been eyeing it ever since it had popped up on an auction list half a year ago. His fingers were twitching in anticipation when he thought about the great musicians who had played it. It was a shame to let it rot in a vault.
He spun the huge wheel and stepped back to allow the door to swing open. The last few inches required a bit of help on his part but once he had squeezed past the solid door the lights in the secure room flickered to life and Gokudera gave a satisfied sigh.
Only to find a dark-haired man in an exquisite suit sitting on a foldable chair in the middle of the room.
"Holy fff-," Gokudera stumbled backwards. His foot got caught in the door frame and he landed butt-first on the floor outside the safe.
When he was done spitting profanities at the world he scrambled up to lean on his elbows and finally dared to take another look at the man. Sadly, that didn't make him go away either.
"Hibari Kyouya." Gokudera stated, not sure if he should laugh, cry or throw random furniture at the unexpected visitor.
"Special agent Hibari." The man corrected as he stepped out of the vault and towered over Gokudera like the proverbial sword of Damocles, "Gokudera Hayato, you are hereby arrested for breaking and entering, grand theft, forgery, identity theft and concealment of stolen goods."
"What, no parking tickets?"
Hibari leaned down and the smile on his face was the equivalent of a cell door falling shut, "I only mentioned the more prominent of your crimes. I'm sure the actual arraignment will be far longer."
Gokudera's mind raced but he would have been fooling himself if he believed that there was still a way out of this. He let out a long, exhausted breath and slumped back. He closed his eyes in the vague hope that the man would just disappear. When Hibari hauled him up from the floor Gokudera finally gave in, "Well, fuck."
---
Gokudera hadn't always been a thief. He'd started out as a pickpocket and then realised that it was sometimes much less of a hassle to nick things from people's homes instead of their pockets. For one, he didn't have to deal with any pissed-off old ladies screaming bloody murder in the middle of the street.
He'd spent half of his life running from his family and the other running from various national and international authorities. He was good, oh, he was very good and he would have been lying if he said he didn't enjoy it. But even the most fun job tended to dull a little if it lacked... challenge.
And then Hibari Kyouya had come along. He'd first introduced his tonfa to Gokudera's face and then himself. Gokudera had only escaped because he'd still carried some of the dynamite that he'd used to blow open a sealed container. Even months after that Gokudera had kept a stick or two on his person, just to be safe.
Hibari had been irritating right from the beginning. He didn't act or react like the other FBI agents. Actually, he didn't do anything like other human beings would. Sometimes Gokudera wondered if he even breathed or if he just lived off the fear he induced. And if that had been Gokudera's only cause for worry he would have been well off. But Hibari turned out to be a great deal more persistent and above all clever than most agents Gokudera had run into before.
Gokudera had to get ever more inventive to stay that vital step ahead. Still, after two years of pursuit - which was considerably longer than any other authority had ever hunted him without respite - Gokudera only had a handful of hideouts left that Hibari hadn't discovered yet. And the number of allies still at large had been decreasing at a shocking rate as well.
But two years was a long time - enough time to do some information gathering of his own. It never hurt to know your enemy. Hibari's file read like a living nightmare for every upstanding criminal. The man was still a youngster at the Bureau but his list of arrests was already longer than Gokudera's entire arm. Strangely, so was the list of assault charges filed against him. None of the charges had ever made it in front of a judge but the fact remained. The accusers ranged from middle-aged ladies to known murderers. Hibari's sense of justice was a bit too finely tuned for others to get it.
Either way; they had danced around each other for two years and it had only been a matter of time until one stepped onto the other's toes. Gokudera would have preferred it the other way around though.
---
This place was a joke. Clearly, someone was trying to prank him.
Gokudera had spent half a week in this prison and had already counted a total of six ways to escape. The only thing that stopped him was a suspicious-looking black limousine waiting outside the gates every day. It didn't do anything in particular and at times Gokudera was almost certain it had merely been parked there and forgotten. But every now and then a tiny yellow bird fluttered towards it and a window would open a fraction to let it inside.
Gokudera groaned when he stepped away from the window in the dining hall, having just enjoyed a perfect view of the familiar black car. He didn't need three guesses to know who was inside.
"Hey, octopus head!"
Gokudera flinched. He resisted the urge to fling his full tray in the direction of the aggravatingly loud call.
"Octopus head!"
"What?" Gokudera spun around, almost splattering pudding all over his neighbour in the queue. A prison guard whose name Gokudera only remembered because the dumb jock kept calling him by that infuriating nickname jogged over to him.
"You've got a visitor." Sasagawa smiled at him as if he was handing over the Declaration of Independence.
"Now?" Gokudera glanced at the huge clock at the other end of the hall, "Visiting hours aren't until two."
Sasagawa leaned closer and whispered, "Special clearance. If you catch my drift."
"No, I don't. And why are you whispering?"
The queue behind Gokudera was beginning to get a little impatient. The guard shot the rest of the inmates a warning glare and the commotion died down immediately - if nothing else he had at least gained the prisoners' respect.
"Come on." Sasagawa tugged Gokudera towards the exit.
"Hey! What the Hell? I was about to eat that, you turf-headed numbskull!" Gokudera's tray landed on a nearby table when Sasagawa had successfully removed it from his protective grip.
"Sorry," the guard gave him an apologetic look, "but I'll save some for you, okay?"
He seemed particularly proud of that idea. Gokudera rolled his eyes, "Whatever makes you happy, airhead."
---
"You've got to be kidding me." Gokudera slid lower on his chair and let his head rest on the backrest, "What the fuck are you doing here? Come to revel in your triumph?"
"Hardly." Hibari turned away from the window and finally sat down opposite him. His facial expression indicated that he liked being there about as much as Gokudera. Right now Gokudera would have rather bathed in acid than spend the next few minutes in one room with Hibari.
"Then what did you come here for?" Gokudera sighed and scrambled to sit upright again. There were certain aspects of courtesy even a mortal enemy had the right to be shown. His father hadn't taught him much but that had stuck.
Hibari pushed a file over the table. It was full of pictures of a bank - in several stages of robbery, apparently.
"I didn't do that," Gokudera pointed at the photographs. He was only half-serious. The last time he'd done a bank job was four years ago and that hadn't gone well at all.
"I know," Hibari said stoically, "it happened yesterday."
If the man had any sense of humour he certainly didn't like to show it. But Gokudera suspected it had been surgically removed when the aliens had dropped him off on this planet to ensure world domination - or something along those lines anyway. Gokudera shuffled through the images until he recognised something, "Ah, that was the hostage thing that was on TV last night, wasn't it?"
Hibari raised an eyebrow in question.
"They've got cable in here. I hope you didn't bet on the Packers last night, by the way," Gokudera explained with a shrug.
"Just look at the pictures." Hibari's patience was wearing thin.
"And what?" Gokudera picked up random pages and studied them before tossing them back onto the pile, "What am I supposed to tell you? That they got away? I think you already know that."
He was grating on Hibari's nerves, he could tell. Gokudera just hoped they had confiscated the agent's tonfa at the gate.
"I want you to tell me how they made it out."
"How the Hell should I know?" Gokudera snorted and if he hadn't been handcuffed to the damned chair he would have stuffed the pile of pictures right down Hibari's throat.
"Because I believe you've worked with them before." There was the tiniest hint of a knowing smile on Hibari's face - which furthered the impulse to make him choke on something.
"Worked with a lot of guys," that was a lie and they both knew it. Gokudera avoided working with others as much as possible. It minimized the risk of getting screwed over and it made dividing the take much easier. Unfortunately, there were times when joining a crew was the only way to go.
Hibari selected a grainy screenshot they had pulled off a security camera and put it on top of the stack. It showed everything you would expect at a robbery: terrified hostages, huddled together in a corner and masked people with guns. Although, a second glance revealed this group of robbers to be of the more unique kind. Only one of them appeared to be carrying any firearms. The others either didn't reveal their weapons or were waving them around in front of some poor hostages who were probably pissing their pants. One of those weapons was a rather impressive sword.
There was only one crew out there with that particular combination of weaponry.
Gokudera nibbled at his lower lip, lost in thought. He considered his options. There was special agent Hibari, depending on his insight and probably allowed to make all kinds of concessions in exchange for useful information. And then there was certain death by tonfa - and if not that then by bare hands, that much Gokudera could be sure of.
But from nothing nothing comes, right?
"What's in it for me?" Gokudera leaned back. He was only half as smug as he looked. The other half was eyeing the door.
"Reduced sentence and transfer to a low-level security facility." Hibari stated as if it was the only thing he could say without jumping over the table and mangling Gokudera.
Gokudera refrained from breaking out into full-fledged laughter. 'Low-level security' - what was that then? A kindergarten? This couldn't possibly be everything that Hibari had up his sleeve.
He shook his head no, "Sorry. Can't help you."
Hibari looked at him for a while and then seemed to come to a conclusion. He slowly reached into his inside pocket and produced an official-looking envelope which he dropped onto the photographs. He hesitated only the slightest bit.
"What's that?"
"I thought you could read?"
"Jackass." Gokudera unfolded the document and skimmed through it. Damn, if he'd known he was going to do so much reading today he would have brought his glasses. But he got the gist of it - even if he didn't believe it.
"Are you serious?" He looked up at Hibari with wide eyes.
"I'm afraid so," Hibari had obviously hoped not to have to play this specific card, "if you agree you are to be released into my custody for the duration of the case at hand. Your movements will be monitored via an electronic anklet. If you should step outside a one mile radius or leave my sight whenever we are working on the case there will be severe consequences, I assure you."
That was the longest string of sentences he had ever heard Hibari say. Maybe that was why Gokudera was still stuck at 'my custody'.
"Wait," Gokudera narrowed his eyes, "your custody? Does that mean we... I mean, do we have to... like, live together?"
Utter horror didn't even begin to cover it.
"No," Hibari sounded disgusted, "you'll be given a place to stay. And you'll be under twenty-four hour surveillance."
"Would that be the 'Peeking at you under the shower' kind of surveillance or the one where I'll have my own personal FBI guard dog?"
"Depends on your behaviour," Hibari smiled but it was grim. His idea of surveillance was probably to chain Gokudera up in a cellar. "So, yes or no?"
Gokudera rather liked the idea of getting some fresh air again. And he would figure out a way to rid himself of that anklet once he was out.
"Just one question," Gokudera held up the still image from the security camera and smirked, "was one of the robbers really really loud?"
~*~*~
FYI:
Ecco fatto. (Ital.) - There./'Done!'
On to --> Chapter 2