005 // I just want to start a flame in your heart.
God, it's gotten so freaking cold outside, hasn't it?! I can't believe how much snow has already piled up! I'm freeeeeezing in my dorm room and my blankets aren't helping much. I think the dorm head is icing us all on purpose, too -- probably pissed about the noise the other night. Speaking of which -- what was up with that loud party on the third
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Dinner? Uh... I don't really know when I'm going to be free. Thursday is the last major swim meet of the year and I'm on the team filling in for Demyx, so I have practice tonight for god-knows-how-long. And I'm kinda sorta very hung over right now (fucking stupid guys from class tricking me...) so... :S And Thursday night is bad for me too, because I promised Demyx I'd go to the hospital with him when he goes in for surgery. Who knows how bad I'll feel after the meet, though... I may just be dead for Friday. Let's play it by ear, huh? :) I'd love to go out for dinner though, think you just caught me at a bad time!
Out of curiosity, though, what do you want to talk about?
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The same thing you're mad at me for over on your journal.
Before you freak out, please, please... Let's just go on a walk together or something together, okay??? Even if we can't go to dinner, I know there's gotta be a little time for me in there somewhere... Please, Riku, I just want to talk to you, face to face, about everything.
And stop thinking the worst, okay? I know you are...
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Why, Sora? After everything that happened, why? I just can't understand. I thought you were better than all of that. You know that this is a really difficult time for me, with my mom and now my dad, and it just feels like you're kicking me while I'm at my lowest. Maybe you don't mean it, maybe it's unintentional, but fuck Sora, you're hurting me.
If you're unsure about all of this now, if you want to take back everything you said, tell me now to put me out of my fucking misery. I feel like I'm stuck in purgatory right now.
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Never in a million years would I ever try to hurt you on purpose. If I ever did, if I ever do... it's because I'm a stupid idiot, not because I want to. Please just know that first, okay? This is my fault this time...
Secondly, I don't want to take back anything I said. It wasn't a lie, it isn't a lie, and I didn't just wake up one day and stop loving you. Riku, I'll never stop loving you. You're in my heart forever, my best friend. I love you right now, even though... after this, you'll probably never believe me again.
But... But I can't do this. I can't play second fiddle to someone else. I know you said I was it, that I was all you wanted... But Demyx, he... he's still important to you, Riku. More than I think you even realize. I'm not a complete idiot that I can't see you still love him. And, at first, I thought I could take it. I thought I could ask Demyx to come to the Christmas party with us and it'd be okay... But I can't. Riku, I just can't. It was selfish of me to begin with, asking you to let it go and swallow ( ... )
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I'm fine with all matter of plastic carnage Colonel ToughLove...? I'm not going to ask but if you're bitching about the weather inside then are you so sure you want to go for a walk?
...Nice playlist.
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Well, I've got to build up a tolerance, right?! Gotta get out of this tropical groove sometime! And I'm sure we'll be fine with all the fire... ... and Captain Aktion. There my super awesome SOLIDER figures!!!
Must have flames on the brain.
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That's why I masquerade as a harmless chemistry teacher...with a final of "biggest explosion you can make gets an A". >D
It is a highly exothermic reaction oh please tell me you know what that means. Might make the snow melt off surrounding trees a little, give us a little rain to go with our big boom? ...first cooties and now this, I feel like I've adopted a 5 year old
;]
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Axel, this is bad. Really bad. Bad in a way I don't know how to fix. [/private]
Jeez, where were you in my high school?! I could've done that final, piece of cake!!! No, we didn't play with firecrackers when we were little, what are you talking about. Probably would've helped that whole "failing" thing... God, how am I even in college?
Exothermic sounds familiar... What does that mean, "heated"??? And, sweet! As long as our skin doesn't melt too!!! HEY
Nice playlist yourself.
Er, uh... except for that last one. GROSS, Axel, just... gross.
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A kitten. A christmas tree. A loveseat. A bottle of whiskey. A pot of coffee. A wool blanket. A Xaldin. <3
You can't have that last one though. But if you wanna come share, feel more than welcome! 8D might be a good idea to bring a blindfold and ear muffs, though. kukuku
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Oh my god, nevermind.
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roffle
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[/sigh] Demyx... I'm going to talk to him, don't worry. Just... until I see him, cheer him up for me, okay? I know he's probably thinking the worst of me right now and he's allowed to but I know you'll keep his spirits up until I can clear this all up with him.
Doesn't even make sense... I've known the guy for a handful of days.
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But we have a puppy so maybe that will make him happy.
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... just tickle him. He'll never admit it, but there's this spot on his right side that's like a button. Don't tell him I told you that!!!!
And, wait. You guys got a puppy?!?!
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You're my cousin, and I love you to pieces. Really, I do. But, if you don't clear things up with Riku soon...I'm going to have to kill you. Don't make me have to hunt you down. Because, you know I can find you. :)
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Look, it's just complicated. I'm going to deal with it, I promise.
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Just make sure you talk to him, okay? He's hurting...
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