Reversion

[allsorts46]

Rachel is coming to wake me up in about five hours, before she goes off to London, so I'm an idiot for still being awake... but I'm glad I stayed up. I'm sleeping in her room, because she's sleeping in Graham's room, and Adele is sleeping in my room. Yeah, Adele came back today. It wasn't very eventful, thankfully - she brought somebody back with

Comments

[neko_nny_okibi]

I know you don't need to hear this, but I'm really disappointed in you, Ashley. And I'm sorry for Adele, having to raise a second child fathered by a man she once loved. I wish you both well, but fathering a child and actually having to raise them are two very different circumstances... I wish people wouldn't make such stupid, drastically life-changing mistakes. But I'm also falling asleep, so I'm sure I'm not as coherent as I could be. Sorry for that. >>

[allsorts46]

I know, I am too. Thank you for being the first to actually say it. It wasn't my fault that Adele became pregnant, but it was our joint mistake to decide what we did, to gamble his future on thinking we could make it work when we'd known each other barely more than a couple of months.

It wasn't a suitable environment though, it wasn't a happy home to bring a new child into. It wasn't stable. He'll be better off where she will take him. I offered alternatives, including to take care of him myself, but she's made her choice.

I'm sorry any of this happened. I may be going right back where I started, but none of what's happened in between can be undone.

It's easy to get confrontational when she starts demanding things from a distance, and I do, but it's different when she's here and it's personal. She doesn't want to stay here, she hates it here. She wants to find somewhere nice, in a country area. I'll do what I can to help them.

[neko_nny_okibi]

I always tell my father that I don't hold it against him that he and my mother divorced, because it's better that my brother and I grew up with a single mom than in a house with constant fighting and anger. Neither is ideal, but the latter's a lot harder for children to deal with. I just don't understand why you two weren't more careful. The pregnancy didn't have to happen. The second I saw that ultrasound I felt the pessimism of everything going downhill and you two breaking up, but I tried to be optimistic and hope that maybe, just maybe, you two would live happily ever after. It was just quite a blow - even for me across the pond - seeing things fall apart so quickly. And now a child has come of it. I hope they have a happy life, though. Even though my parents separated, I'm very glad she decided to have me. X3

By the way, I really wanted to show you this. I finally got around to writing an in-depth leopard analysis, and I'd like to know what you think. ^^ You don't have to reply to every point unless you want to, but

[allsorts46]

I was careful at first, then I was assured that I had no need to worry. I trusted that. The pregnancy shouldn't have happened, but it did. You're right that neither option is a good one, but I do believe that we will all have a better life this way.

The analysis looks interesting! I think the account I used to have on the forum is long gone, but as soon as I have time to write a proper response, I'll sign up and post it. Happy to be a guinea pig :).

[juicyslurpee]

I really hope you're right. Take it from someone who's watched the same person leave four times. It's... shattering. Your consolation may be that no amount of pain will be greater than the pain you felt the first time she left.

I truly hope things work out for you. But it is very hard to regain trust in a person who left you like that. The lesson I learned in the end (among many others) was that indecisive people will always be indecisive - even when it seems like they know what they want in the moment and are 100% about it, they will be 100% about an opposite decision soon afterward.

In the very least, people like you and me deserve someone who knows, 100% that they want to be with us. It's not too much to ask from the person who claims they love you. Just don't forget that.

-Mary

[allsorts46]

Indeed, regaining the trust I had before seems to be the biggest challenge before me. We know we're happy, we know we love each other, but before there were no doubts. I always felt safe because I was sure nothing would ever happen to us. Now that's gone.

[adamus_prime]

I think you're doing the right thing. You've got to just follow your gut. You can't stay with someone you don't love forever just because you have a kid - it's not fair on you or the baby! As you say you've offered alternatives and helped with the money I think you can leave with a clear consciense. I hope it all works out for you!

[allsorts46]

Thanks. I feel crap for doing it, but I am sure that this is the right choice, and I'm going ahead with it, whatever happens.

By the way, your blog is one of the most entertaining things I get to read. Good luck with everything!