Solitude III

Aug 08, 2008 01:42

Tux, I can't believe it's not even 2am yet. I came home from work and went to bed early to catch up on sleep, because I haven't slept properly in two days, and when I woke it was dark, so I assumed I'd slept on into early morning. However after going to sleep and waking up a couple more times over what must be several hours, I finally looked at the ( Read more... )

alpen, willow, america, shanna, depression, adele, vecsoft, feelings, money, darius

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Comments 8

anonymous August 9 2008, 13:24:20 UTC
I'm afraid you are wrong. You do not have to be on the birth certificate for the CSA to obtain maintenance from you (15% net income for one child whether you feel you can afford it or not) unless you or the mother leaves the country. The mother does have to make the claim to the CSA though however if she choses not for whatever reason, the benefits agencies can reduce a mother's benefits. This makes sense, otherwise you'd have tens of thousands of unmarried fathers refusing to be registered on the birth certificate (men cannot be placed on a birth certificate without giving their permission). A good proportion of the time the CSA is not acting on behalf of the mother: With low to middle income earners it is there for the government (and hence tax payers) to recoup benefits paid ( ... )

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allsorts46 August 9 2008, 18:48:24 UTC
Just repeating what I was told, never actually looked into it myself.

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anonymous August 11 2008, 21:48:24 UTC
The main carer is actually no longer required to claim maintenance from the non-resident parent to receive full benefits. Before, he/she had to account for that decision and often being an emotional one (due to abuse etc) they found it too invasive. So now a claim for income support is no longer a joint claim to the CSA. So if she is willing to not demand maintenance in order to avoid any further contact with you, it won't affect her claim ( ... )

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juicyslurpee August 11 2008, 06:29:57 UTC
I agree with you. People make time for those they care about. I mean seriously, a text takes less time than a piss. And coming from a girl, she can sit and take a piss while sending you a text if she's THAT crunched for time. "Busy" is no excuse unless you're a world leader or something ( ... )

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allsorts46 August 11 2008, 23:39:29 UTC
Regarding the 'needing too much', it hasn't ever really been this way around: Shanna left in the first place because she felt she wasn't getting what she wanted from me, but I've never really asked anything of her. I'm very much content with 'presence' - I don't need much active attention at all, I just like to know that somebody is there. I expect it'll be that way again, but it's just this period until she comes back that I am needing her. It's just disappointing and frustrating that for the one time in our entire relationship I actually needed to ask something of her, she wouldn't give it to me.

As for 'better than nothing'... eh, I don't know, you may be right, but I know I was happy. There wasn't a moment during the time that we were together before that I ever wanted anything more. I guess we'll see.

It wasn't 'harsh' or anything, don't worry. I value what you have to say.

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anonymous August 11 2008, 22:11:31 UTC
Ashley,

I just though you better know that the child that Adele is carrying may not be yours.

When Adele went to Guernsey last Christmas she slept with her Ex, Chris G.
Adele is not sure herself, and the timing means that the child could either be yours or his.

I wish you the best in resolving this and I'm sorry you've been a victim of yet more of Adele's lies and game playing. You can perhaps take comfort that you're not the only one.

K

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allsorts46 August 12 2008, 00:07:37 UTC
If it's true, the timing does indeed make it a possibility, because it would only have been a matter of days. Considering the time spent in either place though, I think it more likely to be mine.

However, I've no real reason to believe either that it is true or that it's not. When you say that Adele herself is not sure, do you know this because she explicitly told you so?

I would expect her to say that you would say something like this, and that I should ignore it, which again may be true or may not.

For now it just means I can't be sure whether it's mine or not, and probably never will be unless it's ever proved in some way.

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anonymous August 12 2008, 07:06:40 UTC
Yes it is something she told me herself, in Peterborough shortly after you split, although she would probably deny it.

I would not automatically dismiss it as being yours, as it could well be, I just wouldn't assume that it is definately your child.

Admittedly I posted the comment while I was annoyed with Adele, and with that you can apply any weighting that you see fit.

You may phone me at any time if you feel it is appropriate. My telephone number is probably on one of your phone bills 07*** ***397.

K

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