Anywhere Else But Here (Chapter 23)
Title: Anywhere Else But Here (23/?)
Author: badenoughforyou
Pairing: Jalex and others
Rating: PG-13
Summary:
Disclaimer: None of this is real, I don't own anyone, title cred goes to Simple Plan
A/N: Well, I have to say, this is a heavy chapter, so don't hurt me...
Master Post
A week had passed without any disturbances. There had been no word from Dave about the authorities trying to follow them. Not now anyway. They figured they had bigger tasks at hand and weren't really worried about a few kids at the moment.
But patience was wearing thin, as well.
"Fuck, I just want something normal to eat!" John shouted, Josh restraining him so he wouldn't have another chance to smash more jars of food.
"Calm down! At least we have food." Josh said sternly, turning the taller boy to face him, taking his face in his hands. John's expression softened, but there was still lingering violence in his eyes. He shook out of Josh's grip and sat down heavily on the floor, his face buried in his crossed arms and knees.
"I would kill to have pizza right now…" John mumbled, trying his hardest not to cry. John didn't cry. He hadn't cried once since being separated from his parents, so why now? He felt the hot tears threatening to spill over at the next word he uttered, so he kept his mouth shut, biting his lip so hard he could taste blood. He felt Josh's warmth as he sat down beside him, rubbing his back slowly and leaning against him. There was something calming about the English boy that John could never put his finger on. He had always been like that though. Josh had always been the one to calm him down during his mood swings, even before they started being a thing. Way before John even was thinking about kissing him.
"Hey… I promise, I will get you a whole pie. And it will be all yours and nobody else can share except maybe me, because I bought it…" Josh murmured against John's hair, smiling a little at the prospect of pizza. John nodded, but didn't make a peep, still afraid he would start sobbing like an idiot if he did. "That's my John…" Josh said softly and hugged the other boy close.
Josh could hear small whimpers coming from the other side of the room. He looked up to see Cassadee standing there, watching, her cheeks streaked with tears and they were still coming. Suddenly Josh felt awful, as if he had no right to have someone when Cassadee didn't. It felt wrong. He let go of John and stood up, making the other boy look up, confused and hurt. He saw Cassadee, though, and understood. He felt so stupid. Why had he even considered crying?
"Cass…" Josh said, holding out his arms, but she shook her head and ran out, leaving the room somber.
Cassadee wasn't sure where she wanted to go, but it was far from here. She just wanted Rian. She didn't care about anything anymore. She had once been a girl that never let much get to her and always brushed things off and always had advice to lend, but now she was the polar opposite. She stopped at a door, a broken mirror stuck onto the outside. She couldn't believe what she saw. She saw a girl, but it wasn't her. It couldn't have been. This girl was bedraggled and looked like a deer in the headlights. Tears streaked her gaunt face and she had dark circles under her eyes. She looked so skinny, too. She had never been a big person, but what she saw now made her sick. She couldn't force herself to look away. It was like a slap in the face to see herself like this. She couldn't stop the tears from falling.
She looked down at the floor, shards of glass scattering the floor from the broken mirror. She picked up a piece, examining it. Never in a million years had she even thought she would consider what she was about to do. She pushed up her sleeve and let her shaking hand equipped with mirror to her wrist. She drew the piece across her arm, the pain hardly bearable. She dropped the shard with a clatter and watched as the cut began to ooze blood. She couldn't help but focus on the pain and that made her forget about Rian. She felt a small, sick smile on her lips.
She pulled her sleeve back down over her wrist so nobody could see.
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"So, what's next?" Jack asked as Mark, Alex and he sat on the cool floor.
"We just have to keep waiting." Mark said simply. The idea made Alex's guts churn. He hated waiting. He hated having to wonder what would happen next. He just wanted an answer to all of it, but he knew nobody could give it to him. Maybe he just wasn't supposed to understand.
"I'm getting rather good at that." Jack said, sitting back onto his elbows and looking at the ceiling.
"I think you guys should watch Cassadee." Mark said suddenly. Alex and Jack turned to him. They knew what was wrong with Cassadee, but something in Mark's voice made Jack shiver. "She seems unstable." Mark added, concern obvious in his aged gaze.
"I know…" Jack said, looking over at Alex who looked suddenly scared.
"I'll go find her." Alex said, standing up quickly, which surprised Jack.
Alex made his way back a small hallway lined with doors. His steps felt heavy and his head was spinning. Something felt wrong, horribly wrong.
He sped up his walking and came across a door with a shattered mirror, shards sprinkling the ground beneath it. He felt his stomach lurch as he saw one of them with blood. He hoped it was old, but it was a dark red. He knew was fresh blood looked like. He looked around quickly and heard something from one of the doors further down. He felt terror rising inside of him. He couldn't find it in himself to make his legs move that fast. It felt as if lead weights had been tied to his ankles. When he finally made it to the door, he knocked on it quickly. No sound. But he knew there was someone in there and he was nearly positive as to who it was.
"Cass! Open the door! Please, don't do this!" He cried helplessly. He felt suddenly foolish, as if he'd overreacted. But deep inside he knew he was reacting just as he should. "Cassadee!" He shouted, pounding against the door. He felt his breath coming out shallow.
He heard a sharp inhale from within and then sounds of panic.
"Shit…" He muttered quickly, trying to find anything that could break down the door.
"Al…" He heard. His heart was pounding so hard, he couldn't breathe. He looked at the door quickly. The hinges were rusted. He could do this. He backed up as far as he could and ran full force into the door, but just ended up on his back.
"No, no, no, NO!" He groaned. He couldn't lose somebody else, not like this. He had almost forgotten about that someone…
The commotion caused John and Josh to run to Alex.
"What the fuck are you doing on the floor?" Josh asked, confused and worried.
"Cassadee's hurt! She's in there!" Alex cried, pounding against the door, numb to the pain of running head on into it. Josh and John reacted quickly, helping Alex push against the door.
Alex's heart almost beat out of his chest when he heard the sound of hinges breaking and the door falling in.
He couldn't bear to see what was beyond it. He couldn't breathe for a moment.
Cassadee was lying on the ground, her eyes glazed over, blood pooling from her wrist.
"No…" He said hoarsely, barely able to speak. He stumbled over to her, landing on the floor next to her.
"We need… we need something…" He mumbled dizzily, taking her arm and pulling off his shirt, wrapping it tightly to try to stop the bleeding. He felt hot tears running down his face. He barely even noticed Jack pulling him off of her.
"No! No! Cassadee!" He yelled. Josh and John were with Mark on the ground now. Alex had to look away. He couldn't stand what he was seeing. He'd already seen it before.
He buried his head in Jack's chest, sobbing uncontrollably.
Then there was silence.
He braced himself and looked up to see Mark, hands covered in blood, biting his lip.
"She's still alive…" He said, but something didn't feel right. There was something else hanging in the air. Something left unsaid.
"We have to take her to the hospital, though." Josh said, finishing his sentence.
Everyone was quiet. There was no way she'd live if they didn't get her to the hospital, but they couldn't do that either. Every decision they ever made was a double ended sword.
Alex just lost it though.
"She's so stupid… why would she do that? Why? She knew Rian was still alive! She knew it! And she just threw it all away! Just like…" He stopped, catching his breath, not wanting to say it. He felt weak. His legs felt like jell-o, but Jack refused to let him fall. None of them knew what to do. None of them could do anything.