The Rumour (Chapter 3)
Title: The Rumour (3/?)
Author: badenoughforyou
Pairing: Jalex
Rating: PG-13
Summary:Jack has fallen inevitably head over heels for his best friend. Truth is, Alex doesn't feel the same way until the night one "staged" kiss changes that all forever
Disclaimer: none of this is real blah blah I don't own anyone. Title cred goes to YMAS
Master Post
One. That was the number of months it took for All Time Low to fall apart. It was the number of days it took for Jack to realize Alex wasn't coming back. But zero was the number of times Jack heard back from Alex in two years. Two fucking years.
Since Alex left, there was no glue to hold them together anymore. They'd tried one more show with Matt as the singer, but the magic was gone. Not even Mr. Micky could give them back the charm and free willed nature of Alexander William Gaskarth. It killed them all inside to call it quits. It was something they'd been working on since freshman year, building up to such an amazing experience. But then it all came crumbling down like a game of Jenga. And Alex had pulled out the losing block.
Nearly two years from that fateful day, Alex was sitting in a bar, strumming his guitar and singing softly. He had started a solo career, but it seemed he'd lost his spark after leaving his friends. Of course time would never let him forget it. It would always be in the back of his mind, haunting him and making him think "What if?" He felt constantly hollow. He couldn't sleep at night. He was always woken up by dreams of Jack touching him softly and kissing him. The dreams made him feel unbearably guilty. Oh, he couldn't count the number of times he wished to call his best friend. Bit he simply didn't. He was just the same scared boy.
"This next song goes out to someone I used to know…" Alex said into the microphone softly. He started singing one of his newly written songs. Of course, most of his new material was about Jack. Everything was. Rarely did he ever not think of the raven haired boy with saucer sized brown eyes and a smile that lit up the world. The thought made his heart ache, but not like it used to. The ache used to feel like someone had ripped out his heart and began stomping on it, but now it was just a dull throb. A constant reminder of what he'd torn apart: A friendship, a band, and his heart.
He continued the soft ballad, making sure every word was filled with as much pent up emotion as possible. He tended to sing out the hurt, but he could never quite get it all out. When he'd finished, he was rewarded with a loud applause. It was all he ever got. It had been a long time since he'd gotten screaming fan girls begging him for pictures. Although, he couldn't say he missed that Alex too much, he did miss that life. He missed the crew. He missed that feeling that filled his heart to the hilt with pride as the crowd cheered and sang along to every song. But that was all gone now.
"Thank you. You're a lovely crowd." Alex said, giving a smile. He couldn't remember the last time he'd really smiled. Even this one was a lie.
He packed his guitar up and carried it out to his car, leaning against it and trying hard not to cry. He'd done enough of that in two years. Enough to last him five lifetimes.
"Alex?" He heard his name being called. But this voice didn't make his heart skip a beat or beg for a touch. He felt the petite frame of his girlfriend pressing into his arms, making him feel a little better. He held her tightly and let go.
"How was the show?" She asked, looking a little rejected. Alex shrugged.
"Same as always, I guess." He said, opening the trunk and putting his guitar in. Lisa frowned and turned him towards her.
"Why do you always act like you're miserable?" She asked, but she knew fully well. She wasn't stupid by any means. He rolled his eyes at her and ignored the question. "Please, Alex. I hate to see you like this. I hate to see you in so much pain." She begged softly. He turned to her quickly.
"You would never understand. You would never want to, either." He said, his voice strained.
"Alexander Gaskarth. Talk. To. Me." She ordered. He felt his walls going down. He couldn't do this anymore. He couldn't continue living a lie. He couldn't do this to Lisa. She deserved the world and he gave her not even the moon. He sat down heavily on the ground, burying his face in his hands. She sat beside him, waiting.
"I know what's wrong, Alex. I've seen that kiss." Lisa said, linking her arm in his. He looked up, shocked. She'd never once brought up Jack after the night he'd come home in a bawling mess, pouring his heart out. "I saw the way you looked at him. I know. You've never looked at me like that." She said, sighing softly. He didn't know what to say.
"Why did you leave someone you love, Alex?" She asked, almost frustrated. He didn't know the answer himself.
"I-I… Don't know…" He said, the guilt threatening to take over once more. It made him feel worthless and as if he was underwater, fighting to breathe, drowning in his own misery. Pouring salt into his self inflicted wounds. That's what he'd been down for the past two years. "I mean… Jack isn't like that to me." He said, weakly trying to redeem himself, but she wasn't fooled.
"Don't say that. Please." She said, standing up quickly, crossing her arms. "I can't do this anymore. I can't let you hold yourself back. I can't do this. We're over." She said softly. Alex could think of no words. He stood up quickly, instantly towering over her.
"Do you fucking thing that letting me go is going to make this any easier?" He asked, but not angrily. It was more of an honest question. She nodded her head and looked up through her eyelashes, biting her lip. Alex could tell this was a sacrifice for her. He felt his heart breaking. Why couldn't he do that? Why couldn't he just accept the facts and be with Jack? They stood in silence for what seemed like hours. He closed the space between them and held her close. A silent thank you and goodbye all in one. He felt his heart breaking, but it also felt right. He didn't want to hold her down anymore.
"They say… if you love someone, you should set them free." Lisa said, tears starting to run down her cheeks.
"But… But I let Jack go… So why should I go back to him?" Alex asked, feeling so utterly confused.
"Because the person you let go of has to be willing to let go, too." She said.
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Jack sat at the bar, feeling the cold glass of scotch in his hands. He hadn't even taken a sip. It just sat there, melting slowly as he stared off into space. He seemed to do that a lot. He never knew where his head was anymore. It felt like he was constantly in the clouds. But he could only think of one person.
He sighed and pushed the glass away, not able to bring himself to drink it. He felt arms wrapping around his waist from the back and felt his breath hitch. He hoped for a second that it was whom he pined for so much, but when he felt a familiar set of lips pressing into his neck, he knew it wasn't.
"You're looking dazzling tonight." The voice said softly. Jack turned to his boyfriend.
"You're looking pretty hot yourself, Tony Turtle…" Jack said, biting his lip as he pressed a little kiss to the other boy's lips.
"You're too kind." Tony said, showing off that million dollar smile. The only smile that had made him slightly forget about another smile that he'd been waiting to see again. The thought made him guilty, though as the boy hugged him closer. He wasn't dressed in his usual apparel. In fact, he'd decided to dress up a little with a white button up and black tie, sleeves rolled up and black skinny jeans. Hey, it was formal for Tony.
Jack had met him when talent searching in California. Not that Tony needed him for that. He was already a guitarist in a band. Maybe that's what attracted Jack to him. Or the adorable laugh and smile…. Or the soft hair and calm demeanor… He could never imagine breaking his heart. Well… he had played a scenario in his head in which Alex would come back and scoop him up and take him away. But day by day, he felt himself falling faster and faster for the guitarist.
"What do you propose we do with this evening, Mr. Barakat?" Tony asked, grinning. Jack smiled back, never able to resist his charm. He felt his heart pounding faster as the image of a blond haired boy began to dissipate slowly. Definitely not forever, but for the moment he was happy.
"I propose we go see a show." Jack suggested, biting his lip anxiously. Tony laughed softly.
"How could I expect anything different?" He asked. Jack's favorite thing to do was see concerts. Even though it reminded him of that certain someone, it also reminded him how much he missed and loved performing. He'd played guitar in Tony's band a few times to get back onstage, even if it was only for one song. He couldn't imagine playing full time with a new band, though. The thought made him sick. He was so conflicted.
"Pretty please…" Jack asked, giving him a small peck on the lips.
"You don't have to convince me, babe." Tony said and returned the kiss, but deeper this time. This boy was actually the first real relationship he'd ever had with a guy. And it felt good to be able to express their feelings in public without having to worry. Just what Alex wanted to avoid. He shook the older boy from his mind and smiled back at the boy who was positively his.
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Alex felt his heart getting heavier as he neared one of his favorite bars, determined to drink his thoughts away, just like he always did. He wanted to forget. He wanted to stop hurting. This was like his little shot of morphine. It was a little on the fancier side as far as bars went, but he was sort of well known there. He walked in and sat in his usual spot, ordering his usual drink from the usual bar tender. It was routine and routine was the only thing keeping him sane anymore. Although, he wouldn't consider this existence as being one he'd want to be sane for.
He took the first gulp of scotch, the familiar burn comforting him. He needed this. Or that's what he had come to make himself think.
He looked around, surveying the people around him. A cute couple that appeared to be on the last stretch of their first date. A sad looking business man drowning his numbers and figures in Jack Daniels. A raven haired boy…. His mind stopped for a moment. He didn't allow himself to get his hopes up too high. He saw he was rather close to another boy. And then they were kissing. His stomach was twisting and turning, knotting itself together. He felt sick. He tried to convince himself that he was being irrational. Plenty of people had black hair and were kind of lanky and…
No, this was different. As soon as he got a side profile, he knew who it was and it took every fiber of his being to not go running after the boy, begging forgiveness. Was this fate? No, fate wasn't so cruel to taunt him like this. Fate didn't exist. This was cold, hard karma coming back to repay its debts to the love sick boy at the bar.
"Let me pay for this." Jack said, smiling and turning back to the bar, pulling out his wallet. He handed the money to the bar tender, almost not noticing the boy gazing longingly from across the bar. He found his eyes settling on someone whom he thought he'd never see again. His breath caught and he felt sick and dizzy. He felt Tony's arm on his, holding him steady.
"You okay?" He asked worriedly. Jack gulped and turned to him, nodding silently, forcing a smile, but Tony wasn't stupid. He looked to where Jack's eyes had been seconds before.
Alex didn't know what to do when his eyes connected with Jack's. He didn't know what he'd say. Turns out, he didn't have to do anything, because Jack looked eager to get out of there.
"Do you know that guy?" Tony asked as Jack hopped off the bar stool and speed walked to the door. He stopped for a moment at the entrance, looking back at the boy he'd been waiting for… The boy who broke his heart.
"No." Jack said and opened the door hurriedly.
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A/N: I'll love you forever if you know what Tony I'm talking about. <3