Myspace Review
Heres a bunch of crap thats on my myspace that noone bothers reading the blog for. So... yeah...
Love Hurts
A Sonnet by Rick Byrum
Love hurts in small packages,
Deliveries airmailed by Teddy K.
Love hurts like minimum wages,
Moneys all spent at the Crazy Buffet.
Love hurts for all of eternity,
The shattered feelings on display.
Love hurts like the skin of the sun,
Cold and nimble in the hands of dismay.
Love hurts in childrens laughter,
Naivity to the soul they'll soon betray
Love hurts like a thousand mountains,
Grown around my heart of clay.
Love passes, Love forever recedes,
Love catches, Love never leaves.
An internal battle rages inside my self. On the one side is my brain which tells me what logicaly I should do, what decisions to make, how to carry them out, what doors to open, which doors to pass through, and when to slam the door shut.
The opposing force is that of my heart which tells me what emotionally I should do. This is where everything goes to hell, because it seems lately my heart has been fighting my brain on every decision. It seems like things that should be easy, are hard, and in the internal battlefield, the heart is winning.
To the brain everything is black and white, real clear cut, yes or no, do or do not, there is no try. You get the picture, but with the heart... its something different. Black can be green and white can be blue. And when that happens its hard to make heads or tales of the situation.
The brain and reason say to walk away from the unlocked door, while the heart tells me to submit to the doorway, to crumble apart and become its doormat. But is that a life I want, where I am a broken man living for a fleeting glance, a hurried pun, a lingering stare. According to my heart, it is. But my brain sees the writing on the wall and tells me to run, but love knows not reason or logic, just beauty and feelings.
Cursed feelings that bring the greatest of men to their knees. And for weaker men like me, it kills our souls. Women say they want a guy in touch with their emotions, but they dont. Not really. They really want the stoic males who dominate entire rooms.
Money, handsomness, and humor are but nice bonuses, but not what they want. Women really just grave men with power. Its why teenage girls go groupie for bands, it's why Anna Nicole married that old guy, why Hugh Heffner has 6 girlfriends. Sure the money is nice, but the power is what attracts them. Bill Clinton is a wonderful example. The most powerful man in the world. But this is just my opinion and really it is of little consequence as I was raised in a home where women wield the power and men crumble like ancient documents in the wind.
Where are the women who like the "nice guys" (i.e. guys with little to no power)? It seems like there arent any worthwhile. And I think this goes back to fairytales. Little girls are told stories of Prince Charming or a gallant knight saving them, marrying them, and living happily ever after. How come its never the pleasant peasant boy she grew up with or the local merchant who owns a shop. No, the girl always ends up with one of the most powerful men in the area.
This quest ofr power though is not lost on men, as boys we are told of wielding power ourselves, but in a different light. We are expected to watch Action and Sci-Fi movies where the starship captain or the navy commando kills all his enemies and wins the girl, and if not that we are expected to read comic books where men's power is literal powers such as flying, healing, superhuman senses, telepathic capabilities, and much much more.
We're told by society that we should aspire to be a man of power so we can win the women, and if both men and women follow the paths set out for them there won't be a problem. But it seems the only ones that fall off the tracks are nice guys, weird girls, and in general crazy people.
So should I aspire for power to find the companion I seek, or hope that some cosmic force brings a nice girl my way who wants a man with little to no power. A man like me. The mind thinks little of things like power, lust, and greed, but the heart... the heart dwells on these things. So should I be true to my wild untamed heart, or stay on the course my brain has set out for me? Which way will lead to greater happiness? Which one leads to more pain and misery?
Her World is Dawn.
Open your wooden doors and lower your steel gates,
Prepare for Her arrival, only a certain future awaits.
Rivers flow to Her knees,
Mountains form as She sees,
Forests grow along Her shores,
Lakes fill up as She pours.
Cry... then an infinite sigh.
I won't lie, I won't get high.
The ancient redwood in all its widsom,
Could not grasp Her mighty brilliance.
The tiny acorn with all of its nutrition,
Could not match Her feminine intuition.
The loss of voice and the rise of man,
The loss of thought and the rise of Liane.
Lucid dreams capture my timid mind,
Her presence encompasses all of time.
In Her grasp I cannot find sanctuary,
Should I be concordant or be contrary?
Brain loses connection with the corporal entity,
Spirit gains direction with the loss of Her identity.
Maneater
In a field of yellow grains and white wheats,
There lives a lovely lady who never eats meat.
Her hair is golden like the change in her purse,
Her eyes are diamonds: bewitched and cursed.
If you stare too long into her baby blue runes,
You'll be her love-slave for a thousand moons.
Her name is Elixir and her game is your soul,
She will not stop until she has complete control.
Her soul's been long sold to the prince of the skies,
Now she captures the hearts of every lost guy.
In the Potter's Hands.
I'm the clay in your hands, mold me.
I'm the paper in your grip, fold me.
I'm the scribbling on your parchment, bold me.
I'm the painting on your walls, behold me.
I'm the the bell in your tower, toll me.
I'm the wheels on your ride, roll me.
I'm the child in your arms, scold me
I'm the man in your life, hold me.
I finally signed up for Cable last night! I got the DVR and Digital Cable so I am totally stoked. Not only do I get to watch My favorites such as Comedy Central, The History Channel, TNT, TBS, ESPN, etc. But I also get back AMC and TMC and with a real DVR... ooo this is gonna be shweet. I can have it record every X-Files episode they play on TNT at midnight, or see new shows (to me) like Robot Chicken or the Dog Whisperer. PLus I can now have it programed to record all my newscasts so I can hear my audio mixes again when I get home. Not to mention I dont have to use Bunny Ears to watch TV and will now have a digital picture... with NO static! Richard = stoked! wait... stoked doesnt fully describe it...
Richard = Manic!
One of my ecentric things I do is I am constantly rearranging my living room... well maybe not constantly but once a month usually I am moving somethign around, well today my Computer desk died after I had been attempting to move it for 30 minutes inch by inch. It was mad out of crappy composite board and barely held together bya few screws. Well I got the Desk 90% to its new location and then it caved in on itself as the back support broke loose. Luckily my PC is okay and intact, I got the Monitor off before it choked. Regardless I'm going to have to move a built in desk from my Bedroom into my Living room to re-set up my PC on it. And I have to have the PC in my living room because that is where my home Recording studio is. All that said I had a good day. I had a mediocre show IMHO tonight. But I am just a perfectionist. I think my Myspace Primary photo looks like ass too. I'm hoping to get a new picture taken soon for it. Maybe a picture where I dont look like a square. plus my hair has grown more since that picture and I have straightened it again. I got these damn curls on the side of my head I cant get rid of. I might have to cut them off if they wont straighten. After pressure from this chick who likes to run my life at work and from my GrandMums who is the Matriarch of my family to get my hair cut I have decided against it. I will continue to grow it out and straighten it bi-weekly until it begins to look like ass to me. I really am not looking for a sexually based relationship at this point in my life and if I meet someone who is to be my life companion I want them to like me despite however bushy my hair gets right behind my ears. Now all that said I need to make sure and style it every day. i have been slacking off and for that I do apologize. When I dont get tiem to mess with it it looks bad, but luckily if I straighten it enough I dont need to really do too much to fix it up. Okay thats your Richard daily update.
I've been doing a lot of thinking on the subcontious mind. Like about how placibos can trick someone into being treated as long as they think they are being treated. Sam Jack did a crappy birtish movie called Formula 51 about this new drug he had invented which in reality was a placebo. But when this drug was given to an entire nightclub to try they all thought they were getting high. Well oops I just ruined that movie for everyone. But you dont want to see that piece of shit movie anyways. So what if we could brainwash or hypnotize ourselves to improve ourselves. I guess the concept isnt that original as Hypnotists have been doing that for a long time. But what if you could do it at home for virtually nothing. I have a tough mind to hypnotize but I think i will try experimenting on myself. I think I have created a alergy to Milk because as a child and yougn adult I consumed large amounts of the liquid. So I think my mind said I dont need any more milk, body lets make him get the Runs when he drinks more than 3 cuips of it. Soon that changed to one cup and I nearly gave up on milk. But what if that is all just in my subcontious. When I was in my stupid cult thingy I was in for a time they made me think I was cured of this and sure enough the milkd went down fine and i havent had an issue since. But what if that Miracle cure wasnt a result of a cultish healing process but of me believing I was cured. It make sme wonder how many other ailments are only subcontiously produced. What if I got larengitis because I subcontiously was trying to avoid something else and it was conveinent? What do you guys think?
Be With Me
I want to wake up in your arms,
I want to be safe from all harm.
I want you and me to be...
I need you to be with me,
I need my soul to be free.
I need you to see me...
I'd love to take you to the moon,
I'd love to see you every afternoon.
I'd love you to be with me...
I'd cherish every moment together,
I'd cherish your kiss like sunny weather.
I'd cherish you if you will flee with me...
I require nothing but your warm love,
I require to know if your an angel from above.
I require to see if you will be with me...
I wish there was a way I could win your tender heart,
I wish there was a world where we would never be apart.
I wish for you the best of what I see...
I knew it was gonna be rough and it only will get worse. Mondays used to be my last day of work in a week before returning to work on thursday, making this my friday. But I wont have any days off for quite some time. I better improve daily or this is gonna be a very long rocky road. I'm sure I will but in the meantime it sucks because I myself ama bit of a perfectionist when it comes to work.
I think it comes from when I played football. The coaches always told me to give 110% so when we did our warm up run around the field before stretching I sprinted (which wasnt much faster than the fast kids jogs). I dont know what the other kids thought but I always gave my all.
I remember one day at practice we did this damn drill where we all were in a big circle bonfire style with the coaches outside the circle and they would call what we were to do. We did something like Pushups, Situps, jumping jacks, then we sprinted in a circle chasing the guy to our rights and if they slowed down we pushed them along. Having flat feet and weighing at the time around 220 at 5'9". I gave my all but after 45 minutes of it I nearly died. I literally was spent. Ever since when i packed on more weight I always looked back on that practice from hell in the 95 degree September weather as something I wish I still had.
But still to this day I give 110% until I hit my breaking point, and then I storm past the breaking point and collapse when I get home. So bring it on. I'll work 60 days in a row. But I know that the stress from my job and that I apply on myself plus the pressure to train other people to do my job is going to about wear me out. But a 110%, Can Do attitude until my next day off, whenever that may be.
Love Hurts
A Sonnet by Rick Byrum
Love hurts in small packages,
Deliveries airmailed by Teddy K.
Love hurts like minimum wages,
Moneys all spent at the Crazy Buffet.
Love hurts for all of eternity,
The shattered feelings on display.
Love hurts like the skin of the sun,
Cold and nimble in the hands of dismay.
Love hurts in childrens laughter,
Naivity to the soul they'll soon betray
Love hurts like a thousand mountains,
Grown around my heart of clay.
Love passes, Love forever recedes,
Love catches, Love never leaves.
An internal battle rages inside my self. On the one side is my brain which tells me what logicaly I should do, what decisions to make, how to carry them out, what doors to open, which doors to pass through, and when to slam the door shut.
The opposing force is that of my heart which tells me what emotionally I should do. This is where everything goes to hell, because it seems lately my heart has been fighting my brain on every decision. It seems like things that should be easy, are hard, and in the internal battlefield, the heart is winning.
To the brain everything is black and white, real clear cut, yes or no, do or do not, there is no try. You get the picture, but with the heart... its something different. Black can be green and white can be blue. And when that happens its hard to make heads or tales of the situation.
The brain and reason say to walk away from the unlocked door, while the heart tells me to submit to the doorway, to crumble apart and become its doormat. But is that a life I want, where I am a broken man living for a fleeting glance, a hurried pun, a lingering stare. According to my heart, it is. But my brain sees the writing on the wall and tells me to run, but love knows not reason or logic, just beauty and feelings.
Cursed feelings that bring the greatest of men to their knees. And for weaker men like me, it kills our souls. Women say they want a guy in touch with their emotions, but they dont. Not really. They really want the stoic males who dominate entire rooms.
Money, handsomness, and humor are but nice bonuses, but not what they want. Women really just grave men with power. Its why teenage girls go groupie for bands, it's why Anna Nicole married that old guy, why Hugh Heffner has 6 girlfriends. Sure the money is nice, but the power is what attracts them. Bill Clinton is a wonderful example. The most powerful man in the world. But this is just my opinion and really it is of little consequence as I was raised in a home where women wield the power and men crumble like ancient documents in the wind.
Where are the women who like the "nice guys" (i.e. guys with little to no power)? It seems like there arent any worthwhile. And I think this goes back to fairytales. Little girls are told stories of Prince Charming or a gallant knight saving them, marrying them, and living happily ever after. How come its never the pleasant peasant boy she grew up with or the local merchant who owns a shop. No, the girl always ends up with one of the most powerful men in the area.
This quest ofr power though is not lost on men, as boys we are told of wielding power ourselves, but in a different light. We are expected to watch Action and Sci-Fi movies where the starship captain or the navy commando kills all his enemies and wins the girl, and if not that we are expected to read comic books where men's power is literal powers such as flying, healing, superhuman senses, telepathic capabilities, and much much more.
We're told by society that we should aspire to be a man of power so we can win the women, and if both men and women follow the paths set out for them there won't be a problem. But it seems the only ones that fall off the tracks are nice guys, weird girls, and in general crazy people.
So should I aspire for power to find the companion I seek, or hope that some cosmic force brings a nice girl my way who wants a man with little to no power. A man like me. The mind thinks little of things like power, lust, and greed, but the heart... the heart dwells on these things. So should I be true to my wild untamed heart, or stay on the course my brain has set out for me? Which way will lead to greater happiness? Which one leads to more pain and misery?
Her World is Dawn.
Open your wooden doors and lower your steel gates,
Prepare for Her arrival, only a certain future awaits.
Rivers flow to Her knees,
Mountains form as She sees,
Forests grow along Her shores,
Lakes fill up as She pours.
Cry... then an infinite sigh.
I won't lie, I won't get high.
The ancient redwood in all its widsom,
Could not grasp Her mighty brilliance.
The tiny acorn with all of its nutrition,
Could not match Her feminine intuition.
The loss of voice and the rise of man,
The loss of thought and the rise of Liane.
Lucid dreams capture my timid mind,
Her presence encompasses all of time.
In Her grasp I cannot find sanctuary,
Should I be concordant or be contrary?
Brain loses connection with the corporal entity,
Spirit gains direction with the loss of Her identity.
Maneater
In a field of yellow grains and white wheats,
There lives a lovely lady who never eats meat.
Her hair is golden like the change in her purse,
Her eyes are diamonds: bewitched and cursed.
If you stare too long into her baby blue runes,
You'll be her love-slave for a thousand moons.
Her name is Elixir and her game is your soul,
She will not stop until she has complete control.
Her soul's been long sold to the prince of the skies,
Now she captures the hearts of every lost guy.
In the Potter's Hands.
I'm the clay in your hands, mold me.
I'm the paper in your grip, fold me.
I'm the scribbling on your parchment, bold me.
I'm the painting on your walls, behold me.
I'm the the bell in your tower, toll me.
I'm the wheels on your ride, roll me.
I'm the child in your arms, scold me
I'm the man in your life, hold me.
I finally signed up for Cable last night! I got the DVR and Digital Cable so I am totally stoked. Not only do I get to watch My favorites such as Comedy Central, The History Channel, TNT, TBS, ESPN, etc. But I also get back AMC and TMC and with a real DVR... ooo this is gonna be shweet. I can have it record every X-Files episode they play on TNT at midnight, or see new shows (to me) like Robot Chicken or the Dog Whisperer. PLus I can now have it programed to record all my newscasts so I can hear my audio mixes again when I get home. Not to mention I dont have to use Bunny Ears to watch TV and will now have a digital picture... with NO static! Richard = stoked! wait... stoked doesnt fully describe it...
Richard = Manic!
One of my ecentric things I do is I am constantly rearranging my living room... well maybe not constantly but once a month usually I am moving somethign around, well today my Computer desk died after I had been attempting to move it for 30 minutes inch by inch. It was mad out of crappy composite board and barely held together bya few screws. Well I got the Desk 90% to its new location and then it caved in on itself as the back support broke loose. Luckily my PC is okay and intact, I got the Monitor off before it choked. Regardless I'm going to have to move a built in desk from my Bedroom into my Living room to re-set up my PC on it. And I have to have the PC in my living room because that is where my home Recording studio is. All that said I had a good day. I had a mediocre show IMHO tonight. But I am just a perfectionist. I think my Myspace Primary photo looks like ass too. I'm hoping to get a new picture taken soon for it. Maybe a picture where I dont look like a square. plus my hair has grown more since that picture and I have straightened it again. I got these damn curls on the side of my head I cant get rid of. I might have to cut them off if they wont straighten. After pressure from this chick who likes to run my life at work and from my GrandMums who is the Matriarch of my family to get my hair cut I have decided against it. I will continue to grow it out and straighten it bi-weekly until it begins to look like ass to me. I really am not looking for a sexually based relationship at this point in my life and if I meet someone who is to be my life companion I want them to like me despite however bushy my hair gets right behind my ears. Now all that said I need to make sure and style it every day. i have been slacking off and for that I do apologize. When I dont get tiem to mess with it it looks bad, but luckily if I straighten it enough I dont need to really do too much to fix it up. Okay thats your Richard daily update.
I've been doing a lot of thinking on the subcontious mind. Like about how placibos can trick someone into being treated as long as they think they are being treated. Sam Jack did a crappy birtish movie called Formula 51 about this new drug he had invented which in reality was a placebo. But when this drug was given to an entire nightclub to try they all thought they were getting high. Well oops I just ruined that movie for everyone. But you dont want to see that piece of shit movie anyways. So what if we could brainwash or hypnotize ourselves to improve ourselves. I guess the concept isnt that original as Hypnotists have been doing that for a long time. But what if you could do it at home for virtually nothing. I have a tough mind to hypnotize but I think i will try experimenting on myself. I think I have created a alergy to Milk because as a child and yougn adult I consumed large amounts of the liquid. So I think my mind said I dont need any more milk, body lets make him get the Runs when he drinks more than 3 cuips of it. Soon that changed to one cup and I nearly gave up on milk. But what if that is all just in my subcontious. When I was in my stupid cult thingy I was in for a time they made me think I was cured of this and sure enough the milkd went down fine and i havent had an issue since. But what if that Miracle cure wasnt a result of a cultish healing process but of me believing I was cured. It make sme wonder how many other ailments are only subcontiously produced. What if I got larengitis because I subcontiously was trying to avoid something else and it was conveinent? What do you guys think?
Be With Me
I want to wake up in your arms,
I want to be safe from all harm.
I want you and me to be...
I need you to be with me,
I need my soul to be free.
I need you to see me...
I'd love to take you to the moon,
I'd love to see you every afternoon.
I'd love you to be with me...
I'd cherish every moment together,
I'd cherish your kiss like sunny weather.
I'd cherish you if you will flee with me...
I require nothing but your warm love,
I require to know if your an angel from above.
I require to see if you will be with me...
I wish there was a way I could win your tender heart,
I wish there was a world where we would never be apart.
I wish for you the best of what I see...
I knew it was gonna be rough and it only will get worse. Mondays used to be my last day of work in a week before returning to work on thursday, making this my friday. But I wont have any days off for quite some time. I better improve daily or this is gonna be a very long rocky road. I'm sure I will but in the meantime it sucks because I myself ama bit of a perfectionist when it comes to work.
I think it comes from when I played football. The coaches always told me to give 110% so when we did our warm up run around the field before stretching I sprinted (which wasnt much faster than the fast kids jogs). I dont know what the other kids thought but I always gave my all.
I remember one day at practice we did this damn drill where we all were in a big circle bonfire style with the coaches outside the circle and they would call what we were to do. We did something like Pushups, Situps, jumping jacks, then we sprinted in a circle chasing the guy to our rights and if they slowed down we pushed them along. Having flat feet and weighing at the time around 220 at 5'9". I gave my all but after 45 minutes of it I nearly died. I literally was spent. Ever since when i packed on more weight I always looked back on that practice from hell in the 95 degree September weather as something I wish I still had.
But still to this day I give 110% until I hit my breaking point, and then I storm past the breaking point and collapse when I get home. So bring it on. I'll work 60 days in a row. But I know that the stress from my job and that I apply on myself plus the pressure to train other people to do my job is going to about wear me out. But a 110%, Can Do attitude until my next day off, whenever that may be.