Update on the move and such (x-posted)
I'll probably be making another post in a little bit about more baby-related update stuff but I made posts all over the communities I'm in about moving from Maryland to Florida at 36 weeks and I'd been asked how things went, so here is an update (which is overdue, and also LONG)...
Deciding to move from Florida to Maryland to Florida...again
It was a huge debate for us over whether we should stay in Maryland where my fiance (Billy) had a steady job at Lowe's (he had just passed the 90 day mark and they were discussing him going through training to be promoted in a few more months) but no steady place to live. We were staying with my Billy's dad (Bill) and didn't have space for a baby and also knew staying there with a baby would be sort of over-staying our welcome. We'd moved from Florida to Maryland in January of this year to try and make it because the pay rate is higher up there and we were told it would probably make things financially easier for us. Well, in the 7 months we lived there, we hadn't managed to save any money and we couldn't find a place to live that we could afford on just my Billy's income while I was home with the baby even for a few months. And I hadn't worked the entire time we'd lived there because I don't have a license or a car of my own (we can't afford one) so it was difficult to work around my fiance's schedule and time began to go by so eventually, I was too pregnant to even bother trying to find a job at all. I had left a job here in Florida because Billy was actually fired from his job where he had been working for 4 years after a new store manager came in. We were doing pretty decent financially while we were both working and we had just caught ourselves up with lots of our bills when we decided we'd try to have a baby. Of course, he got fired shortly afterwards and everything was turned upside down.
Anyway, after living in Maryland for 7 months and not getting any further ahead than we had been, my dad's girlfriend, Carla, offered to help us out with a deposit on a house (2 bedroom, 1 bath) for rent in their neighborhood in Florida. She also went ahead to offer paying $200 of the $675 rent each month for six months in order to give me time to get settled and find a job once the baby came. Dilemma was that Billy was just coming up on his 90 days at his job and he was beginning to really like it. They were dangling a possible promotion in front of him that could help us afford to rent a place in Maryland, but that wouldn't be for AT LEAST 3 months. And even then, the position could go to someone else first. On my part, I was absolutely miserable in Maryland. As I said, we were staying with Billy's dad and they just couldn't get along. Billy's brother was also living there (he's about 22) and his girlfriend practically lived there as well (she had her own dorm at college but mostly stayed at the house). On the weekends, (my future father-in-law) Bill's girlfriend and her 17 year old daughter came over along with their little weiner-dog "Puddin." We have 3 cats of our own who were confined to staying in our bedroom because Bill had a cat as well and he was paranoid about them getting along and also about our cats wrecking something, I suppose. So things were hectic, no one got along most of the time (to say the least - I've posted before about much of the ridiculous drama that went on there), I had no friends there, I had no job, I had no transportation while Billy worked full time, I felt confined to Bill's rules because it was his house, and I was just, overall, miserable. Billy finally agreed and said that the offer my dad's girlfriend came up with seemed like it might help us out. He was really reluctant though, but he kept saying whatever made me happy...
The move back to Florida
Billy talked to his job about moving and inquired about getting a transfer down to Florida. He'd been working at Lowe's in Maryland full time and planned on just transferring to the store nearest to where we'd be living after the move. They sent the transfer request and we waited. We had to set a date to move because I was nearing my final month of pregnancy and would need to change my Medicaid over to Florida's Medicaid once I moved and start seeing a doctor as soon as possible. So, we decided we'd leave on July 13th (later than I would have even liked) when I would be about 36w2d pregnant. Billy was scheduled for his last day of work that day and we figured he could come home and we'd leave later that night. As the date grew closer, I was wondering if his transfer would pull through. But the decision was made and we talked about the possibility of him needing to scramble for another job as soon as we got to Florida if the transfer didn't work out. As pessimistic as I am, I honestly thought this was one thing we wouldn't have to worry about for once. I thought there wouldn't be any reason for them not to want to accept him as a transfer. Well, as we got closer and closer to moving, we finally found out that none of the stores in the area we'd be moving to had positions currently available - especially not full time. So, we were a bit worried, but we had to carry on and we packed up to leave.
Billy has a 1996 Dodge Neon. We should have known better. We didn't have a whole lot of stuff when we moved to Maryland. We had left everything behind (kitchen table, pots, pans, bed, t.v., etc) in a storage unit because we knew we'd be staying with his dad for a while and wouldn't need any of it (nor would we have a place for it) until we got our own place. Well, at least now that we were moving back, we wouldn't have to worry about moving all that with us. However, we'd acquired a crib (still in the HUGE box), a dresser for the baby, a play-pen, an infant swing, a bassinet, and TONS of baby clothes and other baby-related odds and ends that took up much more room than I'd anticipated. So, when my dad and Carla (his gf) had first talked to us about moving down to Florida, they planned to come and help us get all of our stuff loaded into a truck in the beginning of July since Carla was planning to take her vacation time off work around then anyway. Well, something came up and she ended up having to take her vacation time off sooner and said that we should try to bring as much as we could in the car and maybe sometime in mid-August, she would help us get the rest. That wasn't really an option. We couldn't fit much in the little car and I didn't want to get stuck going without a lot of the things I'd need for the baby for quite a while after him being born, since he'd be due in the beginning of August. So, we tried to come up with another option. We figured we could take his car and get a small U-haul trailer (we couldn't afford a whole u-haul truck or rental vehicle) and we'd load that up. So first, we had to buy an acceptable hitch which, thankfully, only cost about $70 from U-haul (they ran for about $150 or more from auto stores and such). Then we had to rent the U-haul trailer and Carla offered to help us pay the $200 that would cost us because it'd be saving them time and money in the end since they wouldn't have to bring a truck all the way up to Maryland and all that.
When the time came, (Friday, July 13th) we were all packed up and had the last few things to load up in the car and trailer (our cats, my turtle, my purse, our computer that we didn't want to leave in the heat too long, etc). Billy came home from work and he had to put a new AC line on the car (a sor of "gift" from his dad, since it'd gone out shortly before we planned to leave and he figured it'd be unbearable without AC from MD all the way to FL). It wasn't a big project at all and it was done really quickly. By the time we took care of some odds and ends, Billy managed to take about a 45 minute nap in between there (he had only slept 3 hours the previous night and then worked from 5am to 3pm). I wanted to leave around 9pm, but Billy's dad was out and wanted to get to see us before we left. So, we stayed longer. He didn't get home until about 10:30 from what I can recall and when all was said and done (saying good-byes, loading up the car with those final things, etc) it was midnight by the time we left.
Things went really well for the beginning part of the ride. We were making decent time considering we were travelling slower than we normally would on the interstate due to the extra load. We got into Virginia and I noticed there hadn't been a rest stop for a long while and there were few exits where you could get gas and we were getting pretty low. So, we decided to stop to get some gas at the nearest exit we could find. This was around 3am. As we came to a stop for a moment at the light (the sign for the gas station said it was about 2 miles away) and then pulled away, the car stalled out. I couldn't believe it. The car had run so well for so long and now it was doing this! We never had these kinds of problems. But of course, as soon as I get my 36 week pregnant butt in the car pulling a trailer full of things for a 13 hour ride, it has to act up! After a few seconds of trying, the car starts back up and we cautiously try to at least make our way to the gas station. We were in a very dark, tiny, creepy little town. The car stalled and restarted a few more times as we made our way. Finally, one of the times the car stalled out, Billy let it just roll and we turned a corner onto a little side street. We sat there for a moment and then he started the car back up. He was getting really frustrated and had me on the phone with his dad and brother telling them what was going on. When the car started, he went to make a u-turn and while he was being frustrated and cursing the car out, he managed to run over a curb on my side of the car and before I could say anything, it was done and I just heard a sound I couldn't believe I was hearing. We'd blown a tire. I got off the phone and he pulled out the spare/donut tire he had and changed the tire. We knew it was dangerous to have a donut on the car for very long, let alone a donut on the car while driving on the interstate towing a 4'x8' trailer. We didn't know what else to do. We didn't have the money to go get a new tire, and besides, it was about 3 in the morning. So we went looking for gas and all the stations in the little area were closed. We gave up and got back on the interstate, took it a few more exits, and eventually found a gas station that was open and there was a huge lot for truckers to sleep. So, we pulled up into one of the spots and we slept.
Well, we woke up in the morning and started on our way again. We managed to make it this way all the way from Virginia, where we'd broken down, to North Carolina where we met up with Billy's aunt and uncle who met up with us and helped us get a new tire, thankfully! I don't think we would've made it all the way to Florida with a donut. It was slowing us down a whole lot as was having the AC on, but it was too hot to bear without it for the time being. In the end, between the blown tire, the terrible storm all the way through Georgia, the slower pace we had to drive most of the time, and our few stops for naps, a 13 hour ride turned into a 22 hour ride. We left at midnight Friday (or Saturday morning, whichever you'd like to consider it) and arrived at my dad's house at about 10pm Saturday night.
Since we've arrived in Florida
We spent that Sunday sort of recuperating and as soon as Monday came around, we started doing all our running around. We had to return the U-haul trailer and I had to make phone calls all over the place to get my Medicaid and prenatal care started here in Florida. We started looking for jobs for Billy also. The health department was actually really good about trying to get me worked into the schedule with the doctors and getting me set up with Medicaid and WIC as soon as possible. The hard part was finding Billy a job. No one seemed to be hiring. But we kept looking.
The problems
Around Wednesday, my dad and Billy ended up getting in a big argument about something stupid. Basically, what it came down to was that my dad started bitching about something ridiculous and I was trying to explain it to him. Then I guess with everything that'd been going on and all the stress, Billy just blew up at him and they just started arguing. Eventually, it ended up being physical and my dad kicked Billy out. Of course, I went along and we ended up staying where we are now, at Billy's mom's house a few blocks away from my dad. So, since then (about 2 weeks ago now) we've been sharing a twin mattress (yeah, try that one being almost 39 weeks pregnant now...not fun). The place really belongs to his mom, Terry's boyfriend, Doc. Doc is a huge jerk. They both smoke, so we've been pretty much staying in our room most of the time. He also smokes pot a lot, so that's added to being contained in this bedroom. They both also drink and argue a lot. Not so fun. My dad offered for me to come stay back with him but he said Billy wasn't welcome because he was still mad and so was Carla. I couldn't just leave Billy, so I've been enduring the crap and staying away from the smoke and arguing and just going to my doctor's appointments.
We move into our new rental place tomorrow. Carla was supposed to pay the first month's rent and security deposit for us. Well, with her ex-husband trying to get custody of their now 7-year-old son, she had to get a lawyer and is low on money this month. I had to ask my mom to help me with the money because I have nowhere else to go and I'm about to have this baby. So, she helped me out with about half of it despite her having helped me with so much already (she threw my baby shower and paid for us to go visit her in NY on top of buying us a crib, a dresser, lots of baby clothes, a boppy pillow, a mattress for the crib, and TONS of other things). So, thankfully, we're moving into the new place tomorrow. Problem is, we have run out of money from Billy's final paycheck and he just finally got a call back yesterday to schedule him for his new job. It's only part time. We've put in TONS of applications. Everyone is low on positions and not wanting to hire because it's not the "season" right now. So this works for now, but he's still looking for another job as a second job right now. We don't have any money to even buy food for the new place or any of the other things we'll need when we first move in (garbage bags, laundry detergent, dish soap, etc). I don't even know how we're going to have gas money after a couple days from now for Billy to start his new job. I've been looking at places around here that are willing to help - such as churches, salvation army, etc. We'll see what happens. And we still need to come up with enough money this month to pay the rent, electric, and water bills by the 1st of September. And NOT TO MENTION the baby will be here REALLY soon. Good thing we got so many diapers and wipes and most of what he'll need is a boob and a warm place to sleep for the first little while!
So, that sums up most of the moving and all that. I figured it's been a long time since I posted anything about what's been going on and after today, I don't know when I'll have any internet connection and so many of my LJ friends had wished me good luck and wondered how things went with the move, so I thought I might as well finally update about it all while I could.
38w6d
Deciding to move from Florida to Maryland to Florida...again
It was a huge debate for us over whether we should stay in Maryland where my fiance (Billy) had a steady job at Lowe's (he had just passed the 90 day mark and they were discussing him going through training to be promoted in a few more months) but no steady place to live. We were staying with my Billy's dad (Bill) and didn't have space for a baby and also knew staying there with a baby would be sort of over-staying our welcome. We'd moved from Florida to Maryland in January of this year to try and make it because the pay rate is higher up there and we were told it would probably make things financially easier for us. Well, in the 7 months we lived there, we hadn't managed to save any money and we couldn't find a place to live that we could afford on just my Billy's income while I was home with the baby even for a few months. And I hadn't worked the entire time we'd lived there because I don't have a license or a car of my own (we can't afford one) so it was difficult to work around my fiance's schedule and time began to go by so eventually, I was too pregnant to even bother trying to find a job at all. I had left a job here in Florida because Billy was actually fired from his job where he had been working for 4 years after a new store manager came in. We were doing pretty decent financially while we were both working and we had just caught ourselves up with lots of our bills when we decided we'd try to have a baby. Of course, he got fired shortly afterwards and everything was turned upside down.
Anyway, after living in Maryland for 7 months and not getting any further ahead than we had been, my dad's girlfriend, Carla, offered to help us out with a deposit on a house (2 bedroom, 1 bath) for rent in their neighborhood in Florida. She also went ahead to offer paying $200 of the $675 rent each month for six months in order to give me time to get settled and find a job once the baby came. Dilemma was that Billy was just coming up on his 90 days at his job and he was beginning to really like it. They were dangling a possible promotion in front of him that could help us afford to rent a place in Maryland, but that wouldn't be for AT LEAST 3 months. And even then, the position could go to someone else first. On my part, I was absolutely miserable in Maryland. As I said, we were staying with Billy's dad and they just couldn't get along. Billy's brother was also living there (he's about 22) and his girlfriend practically lived there as well (she had her own dorm at college but mostly stayed at the house). On the weekends, (my future father-in-law) Bill's girlfriend and her 17 year old daughter came over along with their little weiner-dog "Puddin." We have 3 cats of our own who were confined to staying in our bedroom because Bill had a cat as well and he was paranoid about them getting along and also about our cats wrecking something, I suppose. So things were hectic, no one got along most of the time (to say the least - I've posted before about much of the ridiculous drama that went on there), I had no friends there, I had no job, I had no transportation while Billy worked full time, I felt confined to Bill's rules because it was his house, and I was just, overall, miserable. Billy finally agreed and said that the offer my dad's girlfriend came up with seemed like it might help us out. He was really reluctant though, but he kept saying whatever made me happy...
The move back to Florida
Billy talked to his job about moving and inquired about getting a transfer down to Florida. He'd been working at Lowe's in Maryland full time and planned on just transferring to the store nearest to where we'd be living after the move. They sent the transfer request and we waited. We had to set a date to move because I was nearing my final month of pregnancy and would need to change my Medicaid over to Florida's Medicaid once I moved and start seeing a doctor as soon as possible. So, we decided we'd leave on July 13th (later than I would have even liked) when I would be about 36w2d pregnant. Billy was scheduled for his last day of work that day and we figured he could come home and we'd leave later that night. As the date grew closer, I was wondering if his transfer would pull through. But the decision was made and we talked about the possibility of him needing to scramble for another job as soon as we got to Florida if the transfer didn't work out. As pessimistic as I am, I honestly thought this was one thing we wouldn't have to worry about for once. I thought there wouldn't be any reason for them not to want to accept him as a transfer. Well, as we got closer and closer to moving, we finally found out that none of the stores in the area we'd be moving to had positions currently available - especially not full time. So, we were a bit worried, but we had to carry on and we packed up to leave.
Billy has a 1996 Dodge Neon. We should have known better. We didn't have a whole lot of stuff when we moved to Maryland. We had left everything behind (kitchen table, pots, pans, bed, t.v., etc) in a storage unit because we knew we'd be staying with his dad for a while and wouldn't need any of it (nor would we have a place for it) until we got our own place. Well, at least now that we were moving back, we wouldn't have to worry about moving all that with us. However, we'd acquired a crib (still in the HUGE box), a dresser for the baby, a play-pen, an infant swing, a bassinet, and TONS of baby clothes and other baby-related odds and ends that took up much more room than I'd anticipated. So, when my dad and Carla (his gf) had first talked to us about moving down to Florida, they planned to come and help us get all of our stuff loaded into a truck in the beginning of July since Carla was planning to take her vacation time off work around then anyway. Well, something came up and she ended up having to take her vacation time off sooner and said that we should try to bring as much as we could in the car and maybe sometime in mid-August, she would help us get the rest. That wasn't really an option. We couldn't fit much in the little car and I didn't want to get stuck going without a lot of the things I'd need for the baby for quite a while after him being born, since he'd be due in the beginning of August. So, we tried to come up with another option. We figured we could take his car and get a small U-haul trailer (we couldn't afford a whole u-haul truck or rental vehicle) and we'd load that up. So first, we had to buy an acceptable hitch which, thankfully, only cost about $70 from U-haul (they ran for about $150 or more from auto stores and such). Then we had to rent the U-haul trailer and Carla offered to help us pay the $200 that would cost us because it'd be saving them time and money in the end since they wouldn't have to bring a truck all the way up to Maryland and all that.
When the time came, (Friday, July 13th) we were all packed up and had the last few things to load up in the car and trailer (our cats, my turtle, my purse, our computer that we didn't want to leave in the heat too long, etc). Billy came home from work and he had to put a new AC line on the car (a sor of "gift" from his dad, since it'd gone out shortly before we planned to leave and he figured it'd be unbearable without AC from MD all the way to FL). It wasn't a big project at all and it was done really quickly. By the time we took care of some odds and ends, Billy managed to take about a 45 minute nap in between there (he had only slept 3 hours the previous night and then worked from 5am to 3pm). I wanted to leave around 9pm, but Billy's dad was out and wanted to get to see us before we left. So, we stayed longer. He didn't get home until about 10:30 from what I can recall and when all was said and done (saying good-byes, loading up the car with those final things, etc) it was midnight by the time we left.
Things went really well for the beginning part of the ride. We were making decent time considering we were travelling slower than we normally would on the interstate due to the extra load. We got into Virginia and I noticed there hadn't been a rest stop for a long while and there were few exits where you could get gas and we were getting pretty low. So, we decided to stop to get some gas at the nearest exit we could find. This was around 3am. As we came to a stop for a moment at the light (the sign for the gas station said it was about 2 miles away) and then pulled away, the car stalled out. I couldn't believe it. The car had run so well for so long and now it was doing this! We never had these kinds of problems. But of course, as soon as I get my 36 week pregnant butt in the car pulling a trailer full of things for a 13 hour ride, it has to act up! After a few seconds of trying, the car starts back up and we cautiously try to at least make our way to the gas station. We were in a very dark, tiny, creepy little town. The car stalled and restarted a few more times as we made our way. Finally, one of the times the car stalled out, Billy let it just roll and we turned a corner onto a little side street. We sat there for a moment and then he started the car back up. He was getting really frustrated and had me on the phone with his dad and brother telling them what was going on. When the car started, he went to make a u-turn and while he was being frustrated and cursing the car out, he managed to run over a curb on my side of the car and before I could say anything, it was done and I just heard a sound I couldn't believe I was hearing. We'd blown a tire. I got off the phone and he pulled out the spare/donut tire he had and changed the tire. We knew it was dangerous to have a donut on the car for very long, let alone a donut on the car while driving on the interstate towing a 4'x8' trailer. We didn't know what else to do. We didn't have the money to go get a new tire, and besides, it was about 3 in the morning. So we went looking for gas and all the stations in the little area were closed. We gave up and got back on the interstate, took it a few more exits, and eventually found a gas station that was open and there was a huge lot for truckers to sleep. So, we pulled up into one of the spots and we slept.
Well, we woke up in the morning and started on our way again. We managed to make it this way all the way from Virginia, where we'd broken down, to North Carolina where we met up with Billy's aunt and uncle who met up with us and helped us get a new tire, thankfully! I don't think we would've made it all the way to Florida with a donut. It was slowing us down a whole lot as was having the AC on, but it was too hot to bear without it for the time being. In the end, between the blown tire, the terrible storm all the way through Georgia, the slower pace we had to drive most of the time, and our few stops for naps, a 13 hour ride turned into a 22 hour ride. We left at midnight Friday (or Saturday morning, whichever you'd like to consider it) and arrived at my dad's house at about 10pm Saturday night.
Since we've arrived in Florida
We spent that Sunday sort of recuperating and as soon as Monday came around, we started doing all our running around. We had to return the U-haul trailer and I had to make phone calls all over the place to get my Medicaid and prenatal care started here in Florida. We started looking for jobs for Billy also. The health department was actually really good about trying to get me worked into the schedule with the doctors and getting me set up with Medicaid and WIC as soon as possible. The hard part was finding Billy a job. No one seemed to be hiring. But we kept looking.
The problems
Around Wednesday, my dad and Billy ended up getting in a big argument about something stupid. Basically, what it came down to was that my dad started bitching about something ridiculous and I was trying to explain it to him. Then I guess with everything that'd been going on and all the stress, Billy just blew up at him and they just started arguing. Eventually, it ended up being physical and my dad kicked Billy out. Of course, I went along and we ended up staying where we are now, at Billy's mom's house a few blocks away from my dad. So, since then (about 2 weeks ago now) we've been sharing a twin mattress (yeah, try that one being almost 39 weeks pregnant now...not fun). The place really belongs to his mom, Terry's boyfriend, Doc. Doc is a huge jerk. They both smoke, so we've been pretty much staying in our room most of the time. He also smokes pot a lot, so that's added to being contained in this bedroom. They both also drink and argue a lot. Not so fun. My dad offered for me to come stay back with him but he said Billy wasn't welcome because he was still mad and so was Carla. I couldn't just leave Billy, so I've been enduring the crap and staying away from the smoke and arguing and just going to my doctor's appointments.
We move into our new rental place tomorrow. Carla was supposed to pay the first month's rent and security deposit for us. Well, with her ex-husband trying to get custody of their now 7-year-old son, she had to get a lawyer and is low on money this month. I had to ask my mom to help me with the money because I have nowhere else to go and I'm about to have this baby. So, she helped me out with about half of it despite her having helped me with so much already (she threw my baby shower and paid for us to go visit her in NY on top of buying us a crib, a dresser, lots of baby clothes, a boppy pillow, a mattress for the crib, and TONS of other things). So, thankfully, we're moving into the new place tomorrow. Problem is, we have run out of money from Billy's final paycheck and he just finally got a call back yesterday to schedule him for his new job. It's only part time. We've put in TONS of applications. Everyone is low on positions and not wanting to hire because it's not the "season" right now. So this works for now, but he's still looking for another job as a second job right now. We don't have any money to even buy food for the new place or any of the other things we'll need when we first move in (garbage bags, laundry detergent, dish soap, etc). I don't even know how we're going to have gas money after a couple days from now for Billy to start his new job. I've been looking at places around here that are willing to help - such as churches, salvation army, etc. We'll see what happens. And we still need to come up with enough money this month to pay the rent, electric, and water bills by the 1st of September. And NOT TO MENTION the baby will be here REALLY soon. Good thing we got so many diapers and wipes and most of what he'll need is a boob and a warm place to sleep for the first little while!
So, that sums up most of the moving and all that. I figured it's been a long time since I posted anything about what's been going on and after today, I don't know when I'll have any internet connection and so many of my LJ friends had wished me good luck and wondered how things went with the move, so I thought I might as well finally update about it all while I could.
38w6d