I want to watch Rent
I've been bored, hence the hard to read but oh so hot, customized livejournal layout. But Jamie and Mary still have my copy and I have no time this week to go get it really. They still haven't watched it and have had it since June. It makes Jeff & I sad. Even though I think he should just buy his own copy.
Whoa, it's late. Good Night.
I really have to stop procrastinating. I have an exam Wednesday, have I studied? No. I work 10:30-5 tomorrow and have class at 6:30 (I have 3 essays due within a week or so, have I written anything? No. Luckily, length is not an issue.) Then Wednesday I work 8-12:45 and then have an appointment with a macomb counsler at 2:00 and class at 6:30.
Once again, I'm feeling lost when it comes to career choices and have been looking into jobs that require a 2 year degree instead of a 4. It's been getting to me how freaking long school will take if I keep going for a bachelor's. I'm almost 22 and have jack squat when it comes to credits and none of them amount to anything imparticular. Every career points to medical, which is cool, but some things just aren't that interesting. To each one their own, but being a occupational therapist assistant just isn't my style. A radiologic technologist seems pretty cool, but then there is the whole radiation factor in the future (whenever I have a kid). My parents say don't worry because you're behind a wall, but from what I can remember, isn't there someone prepping you before hand....I was thinking about being a Veterinary Assistant, but then my mom was quite discouraging because of how much Denise worked for it and how much time it took. But no matter what I choose it's all going to take a lot of time, especially since I have an incredibly hard time with anything in the math and science field. I just need something that will pay well and won't take long to obtain...why can't something of that description be in the more English field?
It's all just so annoying. I need to learn how to "live in the now" instead of thinking about the future. I have a horrible habit of doing that and wind up feeling depressed and stressed out.
For example: I hate long engagements. So why can't I reserve a reception hall in advance? I don't have to label what the use of the hall is. Same with the flowers, cake, ect. Minor details such as colors, food, and dresses can start to be done about a year or so ahead of time...in which then James can propose and half the stuff is done. But no. I'm allowed to do no such thing until "a ring is on your finger"
Which then just made me start to think more about the process as a whole. Currently, I think marriage is a piece of paper. I understand there should be all sorts of new emotions, but I believe if two people love each other, why is this whole silly 2 year planning - one day celebration necessary? They should all ready have a special bond between each other...but whatever. I'm going to marry a traditional man, even though it screws with my inner thoughts about life.
Sushi cake makes me feel better. Although our original plan fell through because we are not made of money. We will have chicken, pasta (just so his mom's side can say, "This isn't like Grandma's"), I'm sure some sort of beef, and one vegetarian dish for Jennifer. (And beef jerky for Robbie since it's dried meat. It doesn't count as real meat. lol, huge drunken inside joke...it makes me feel better.)
Slowly my ammount of girlfriends are dwindling. Sally and I had a fallout cause it ends up Tim has been abusing her since they started dating till about 7 months ago. Supposedly. At this point, she could be lying to my face so I won't talk her out of her situation. She's changed because of him. He treats her like shit and they do the "overly happy" couple thing whenever people are around. I see through it. Whenever she is without him she is more like the old Sally. But whenver he is around, she is much more subdued and that makes me sad. But since we haven't spoken for a month...I think my SallySally is gone. Basically I got her to call into work so we could go out and drink with James and his friends. she had been home for a month or so and we haven't been able to do anything with just us. So we go and it's all good, we're drinking and then she told us tim abuses her. So of course we're like, break up with him and we'll help you move. James's friend is there and him and Sally have their own sxual past. Even though she has a boyfriend, she's drunk. We're all drunk. So once James and I notice they are gone, we went looking for them. blah blah blah I drive home in the AM to open at work. So Jeff (our mutual friend between Sally, Tim, and I) gets this uber pissed off call about Sally. Because Sally told him what happend (even though she had work, she called in two days in a row) and he was pissed that James and I are plotting against him to break them up. She's crying, Tim is crying. I'm crying later that night because all I know is she has been abused more than once and am afraid she will die. I did not no the time line of times yet.
The next day James and I are freaking out thinking Tim probably is smacking her around and I'll get a call she's dead. Jeff calls me and we talk things out so he knows what went down, we eat Bob Evans, I call Sally - no answer, and sit outside on a bench for like 2 hours. Jeff calls her no answer. So we go to James's and play uno till she finally calls Jeff back. I tell Jeff to tell her about moving her things back home. Well, fat abusive asshole idiot calls him back a few minutes later. Saying sarcastically "They don't know what they're dealing with. Send them fucking up here. I'll stick that sword up his ass." Even if you are joking, you don't fucking threat people. So the next day they are back in town. At that point I was ready to write her off and say good bye. So after hours of phone tag because she couldn't call me, we went through Jeff. We met up at Starbucks. Nothing was resolved. We talked about the facts. Nothing has happend (at the time) in about 6 months. I think Tim is an asshole and has never shown me a different side of himself. He is offened (can't remember the correct word) when I make sarcastic remarks. So that means he can be sarcastic but NO ONE else can throw a remark back into his face. James and I never want to see him again. We haven't talked since. Jeff has been to their condo (they basically blow his inheritence money on expensive stuff) but was kicked out because Tim was tired. And being so obedient, she told Jeff good night. It's funny cause Jeff and I decided Tim is incredibly jealous of him. He makes Sally laugh more and they have a longer friendship past. Tim always brings up having sex, like Jeff is supposed to get jealous or something. Seriously, whenever they are around people she's always on his lap or something. It makes me want to puke. Jeff wants to send a letter that says "She's mine. Deal with it."
Whoa, it's late. Good Night.
I really have to stop procrastinating. I have an exam Wednesday, have I studied? No. I work 10:30-5 tomorrow and have class at 6:30 (I have 3 essays due within a week or so, have I written anything? No. Luckily, length is not an issue.) Then Wednesday I work 8-12:45 and then have an appointment with a macomb counsler at 2:00 and class at 6:30.
Once again, I'm feeling lost when it comes to career choices and have been looking into jobs that require a 2 year degree instead of a 4. It's been getting to me how freaking long school will take if I keep going for a bachelor's. I'm almost 22 and have jack squat when it comes to credits and none of them amount to anything imparticular. Every career points to medical, which is cool, but some things just aren't that interesting. To each one their own, but being a occupational therapist assistant just isn't my style. A radiologic technologist seems pretty cool, but then there is the whole radiation factor in the future (whenever I have a kid). My parents say don't worry because you're behind a wall, but from what I can remember, isn't there someone prepping you before hand....I was thinking about being a Veterinary Assistant, but then my mom was quite discouraging because of how much Denise worked for it and how much time it took. But no matter what I choose it's all going to take a lot of time, especially since I have an incredibly hard time with anything in the math and science field. I just need something that will pay well and won't take long to obtain...why can't something of that description be in the more English field?
It's all just so annoying. I need to learn how to "live in the now" instead of thinking about the future. I have a horrible habit of doing that and wind up feeling depressed and stressed out.
For example: I hate long engagements. So why can't I reserve a reception hall in advance? I don't have to label what the use of the hall is. Same with the flowers, cake, ect. Minor details such as colors, food, and dresses can start to be done about a year or so ahead of time...in which then James can propose and half the stuff is done. But no. I'm allowed to do no such thing until "a ring is on your finger"
Which then just made me start to think more about the process as a whole. Currently, I think marriage is a piece of paper. I understand there should be all sorts of new emotions, but I believe if two people love each other, why is this whole silly 2 year planning - one day celebration necessary? They should all ready have a special bond between each other...but whatever. I'm going to marry a traditional man, even though it screws with my inner thoughts about life.
Sushi cake makes me feel better. Although our original plan fell through because we are not made of money. We will have chicken, pasta (just so his mom's side can say, "This isn't like Grandma's"), I'm sure some sort of beef, and one vegetarian dish for Jennifer. (And beef jerky for Robbie since it's dried meat. It doesn't count as real meat. lol, huge drunken inside joke...it makes me feel better.)
Slowly my ammount of girlfriends are dwindling. Sally and I had a fallout cause it ends up Tim has been abusing her since they started dating till about 7 months ago. Supposedly. At this point, she could be lying to my face so I won't talk her out of her situation. She's changed because of him. He treats her like shit and they do the "overly happy" couple thing whenever people are around. I see through it. Whenever she is without him she is more like the old Sally. But whenver he is around, she is much more subdued and that makes me sad. But since we haven't spoken for a month...I think my SallySally is gone. Basically I got her to call into work so we could go out and drink with James and his friends. she had been home for a month or so and we haven't been able to do anything with just us. So we go and it's all good, we're drinking and then she told us tim abuses her. So of course we're like, break up with him and we'll help you move. James's friend is there and him and Sally have their own sxual past. Even though she has a boyfriend, she's drunk. We're all drunk. So once James and I notice they are gone, we went looking for them. blah blah blah I drive home in the AM to open at work. So Jeff (our mutual friend between Sally, Tim, and I) gets this uber pissed off call about Sally. Because Sally told him what happend (even though she had work, she called in two days in a row) and he was pissed that James and I are plotting against him to break them up. She's crying, Tim is crying. I'm crying later that night because all I know is she has been abused more than once and am afraid she will die. I did not no the time line of times yet.
The next day James and I are freaking out thinking Tim probably is smacking her around and I'll get a call she's dead. Jeff calls me and we talk things out so he knows what went down, we eat Bob Evans, I call Sally - no answer, and sit outside on a bench for like 2 hours. Jeff calls her no answer. So we go to James's and play uno till she finally calls Jeff back. I tell Jeff to tell her about moving her things back home. Well, fat abusive asshole idiot calls him back a few minutes later. Saying sarcastically "They don't know what they're dealing with. Send them fucking up here. I'll stick that sword up his ass." Even if you are joking, you don't fucking threat people. So the next day they are back in town. At that point I was ready to write her off and say good bye. So after hours of phone tag because she couldn't call me, we went through Jeff. We met up at Starbucks. Nothing was resolved. We talked about the facts. Nothing has happend (at the time) in about 6 months. I think Tim is an asshole and has never shown me a different side of himself. He is offened (can't remember the correct word) when I make sarcastic remarks. So that means he can be sarcastic but NO ONE else can throw a remark back into his face. James and I never want to see him again. We haven't talked since. Jeff has been to their condo (they basically blow his inheritence money on expensive stuff) but was kicked out because Tim was tired. And being so obedient, she told Jeff good night. It's funny cause Jeff and I decided Tim is incredibly jealous of him. He makes Sally laugh more and they have a longer friendship past. Tim always brings up having sex, like Jeff is supposed to get jealous or something. Seriously, whenever they are around people she's always on his lap or something. It makes me want to puke. Jeff wants to send a letter that says "She's mine. Deal with it."