006.
Title: this is a call to arms
Rating: r (warning: dark themes)
Pairing/Focus: gen
Summary: everyone goes off to the army eventually. youngwoon is the first one.
A/N: rather unpolished and disjointed. advanced apologies for any mistakes or confusion caused. (title from 'A Call To Arms' by 30 Seconds to Mars)
Kangin is the first one. Kangin, Youngwoon, they call him. You are Youngwoon here and not Kangin, Kim Youngwoon. He nods. He is here to serve his country and do his duty. He will not say no.
So comes the first one to the slaughter.
Heechul and Leeteuk; sorry, Kim Heechul and Park Jungsu.
Not idols anymore, not anyone special. No special provisions just because they had been damaged in some way.
"Ka- Youngwoon?" Heechul almost bites his tongue when they enter the chamber, bolt sliding behind them neatly.
"Hey."
His head shaved, small nicks and cuts all over it. Patches of hair gone completely, eyes dead, arms bruised all over with the tell tale puncture wounds.
"Are you--"
"I'm fine," Youngwoon says. "This is nothing. I am serving my country, I am doing my duty and serving Korea. All is well."
Jungsu holds his arms out, useless, and Heechul watches the hug with horror-filled eyes. There's no affection here, but the pretence of comfort that Jungsu offers and Youngwoon accepts automatically.
There's no life here at all.
Yesung; no, Jongwoon comes next. A whole batch of them -- some smart ploy by management to get these two years over and done with. Jongwoon, Donghee, Sungmin, Donghae, Hyukjae. It's like a parody of a reunion, but they can only look at the three that have lived their past months in a prison of hell.
"Hey," Youngwoon says, licking his lips, shadows deep under his eyes.
Heechul's standing in the corner, arms crossed and shadows on his cheeks cast by his hair. "This is hell," he rasps, and Jungsu smiles at them pitifully. Sungmin mirrors him, hands clenched tight.
"What's, what's going on here?" Donghae finds the energy to ask, but Jungsu shakes his head.
"You'll see. In time."
The last few come when Youngwoon's in his final month. Twenty-two days left, he thinks to himself as he watches Siwon, Ryeowook, Kyuhyun and Kibum shuffle in. Kibum, even Kibum shows a thin layer of emotion as he sees Youngwoon's wry arms, thin and compact now. No more stomach on him or Donghee anymore, and Youngwoon, he feels energised. Powerful, more than before.
"You asshole," Youngwoon says, low, before he punches Kibum in the stomach.
"For us," he says, and Kibum gasps as he falls to the floor. Ryeowook kneels swiftly by his side and Kyuhyun follows, Siwon just watching, dazed.
"Hyung?" he questions softly, but the rest of them, the ones who've been in for half a lifetime, it seems, stare back blankly.
"You'll see," Sungmin says before he turns away and puts his fingers to Heechul's blackened wrist.
"I don't--"
"Don't, then," Jungsu interrupts Siwon, and Donghae plays with his dog tags.
"You'll see, Siwon."
Everything unravels the day Youngwoon strips off his prison, sweat and blood soaked clothes for jeans and a tee. It feels different.
It feels; it feels more real. But more fake at the same time, like a dream ready to be snatched, even if that's happened before.
"Kangin-sshi," the reporters call out as his plane lands and he exits. "Kangin-sshi! How was military service?"
Youngwoon tips his head.
"Rewarding," he answers with a smile.
They watch silently as Jungsu carefully pulls a cap and sunnies on. Heechul watches from his corner before he looks away in disgust.
"Good luck." Hollow words are echoed. Jungsu tips his head, the smooth skin at his neck gleaming, mocking them all even as they see muscles he never had before, and a sharp look in his eye.
"I'll see you soon," he says, fingers trailing on Hyukjae's arm. Hyukjae concentrates to keep from screaming as a line of pain is left in Jungsu's wake, and he breathes, sweat springing to his pores.
"Bye bye," Heechul says mockingly as he stuffs his hands into his pockets and curls them.
Sungmin is the next to leave, less than twenty-four months since he arrived. He puts on a watch quietly and touches Heechul's wrist, even as he hisses from the pain.
"Goodbye," he says simply, lips down turned and baby fat gone.
He walks out, straighter and taller than he walked in.
It's Donghee the next day, skinny and unrecognisable.
"Thank you," he tells the room as he exits, hands in his pockets and the first one to leave smiling.
Heechul's knuckles are bleeding from the brick wall.
They leave, slowly, methodically. One by one by one, down the line of what used to be Super Junior.
Hyukjae's the first after Donghee, an extra six months of experiments and tests showing in his muscles and his steady hands. Jongwoon is surprisingly next, only minor tweaks down to his arms and legs, and Ryeowook is soon to follow. Kibum leaves as he enters; expressionless and well-formed. Kyuhyun wakes without a voice one day, panic evident in his eyes, and that's the day he leaves.
"You have to let go," Donghae says to Heechul as they watch Kyuhyun leave the room, feet stuffed into commando boots.
"But I don't want to," Heechul says, eyes staring at a crack in the wall.
"Well, that's why you're not going to leave," Donghae replies, pulling Heechul close, and Heechul lets him.
Siwon watches them from the corner. He leaves the next day.
They try everything on Heechul and he fights tooth and nail against them. His body has long given up; the pain sparks in his leg everytime he thinks about it, and whenever something new is jabbed into him, he goes limp. But his mind is sharp and clear, and he smiles through the pain, teeth clenched.
"Muscle strengtheners," one of the scientists explain, because they're not doctors.
"Fat burners," another says as another hole is created.
"Destroys affection," says a final one as she gives him a few pills in a cup, and he obediently swallows them.
"And how do you feel?"
"Like shit." Heechul remembers to grin even as his eyes flutter and his grip grows slack.
"Well that's a pity, Kim Heechul." Saranghaeyo, Kim Heechul.
"You'll never leave this place unless you co-operate, Donghae," someone says as he screams, straining against the bonds that hold him together.
"Let me go let me go don't make me like them just let me go," Donghae cries out, sobbing, and Heechul watches with blank eyes.
I've given up, he thinks, watching Donghae' frail form fight the drugs and his eyes, bloodshot.
"Don't do this," one of the scientists say, and Heechul realises he had said the same words.
"Leave me alone please don't do this to me please don't I want to leave this place just don't, please, don't just don't."
The scientists eye him before shooting a sleeping drug into him, and Heechul turns away.
It'll be a long time before either of them leave.
Rating: r (warning: dark themes)
Pairing/Focus: gen
Summary: everyone goes off to the army eventually. youngwoon is the first one.
A/N: rather unpolished and disjointed. advanced apologies for any mistakes or confusion caused. (title from 'A Call To Arms' by 30 Seconds to Mars)
Kangin is the first one. Kangin, Youngwoon, they call him. You are Youngwoon here and not Kangin, Kim Youngwoon. He nods. He is here to serve his country and do his duty. He will not say no.
So comes the first one to the slaughter.
Heechul and Leeteuk; sorry, Kim Heechul and Park Jungsu.
Not idols anymore, not anyone special. No special provisions just because they had been damaged in some way.
"Ka- Youngwoon?" Heechul almost bites his tongue when they enter the chamber, bolt sliding behind them neatly.
"Hey."
His head shaved, small nicks and cuts all over it. Patches of hair gone completely, eyes dead, arms bruised all over with the tell tale puncture wounds.
"Are you--"
"I'm fine," Youngwoon says. "This is nothing. I am serving my country, I am doing my duty and serving Korea. All is well."
Jungsu holds his arms out, useless, and Heechul watches the hug with horror-filled eyes. There's no affection here, but the pretence of comfort that Jungsu offers and Youngwoon accepts automatically.
There's no life here at all.
Yesung; no, Jongwoon comes next. A whole batch of them -- some smart ploy by management to get these two years over and done with. Jongwoon, Donghee, Sungmin, Donghae, Hyukjae. It's like a parody of a reunion, but they can only look at the three that have lived their past months in a prison of hell.
"Hey," Youngwoon says, licking his lips, shadows deep under his eyes.
Heechul's standing in the corner, arms crossed and shadows on his cheeks cast by his hair. "This is hell," he rasps, and Jungsu smiles at them pitifully. Sungmin mirrors him, hands clenched tight.
"What's, what's going on here?" Donghae finds the energy to ask, but Jungsu shakes his head.
"You'll see. In time."
The last few come when Youngwoon's in his final month. Twenty-two days left, he thinks to himself as he watches Siwon, Ryeowook, Kyuhyun and Kibum shuffle in. Kibum, even Kibum shows a thin layer of emotion as he sees Youngwoon's wry arms, thin and compact now. No more stomach on him or Donghee anymore, and Youngwoon, he feels energised. Powerful, more than before.
"You asshole," Youngwoon says, low, before he punches Kibum in the stomach.
"For us," he says, and Kibum gasps as he falls to the floor. Ryeowook kneels swiftly by his side and Kyuhyun follows, Siwon just watching, dazed.
"Hyung?" he questions softly, but the rest of them, the ones who've been in for half a lifetime, it seems, stare back blankly.
"You'll see," Sungmin says before he turns away and puts his fingers to Heechul's blackened wrist.
"I don't--"
"Don't, then," Jungsu interrupts Siwon, and Donghae plays with his dog tags.
"You'll see, Siwon."
Everything unravels the day Youngwoon strips off his prison, sweat and blood soaked clothes for jeans and a tee. It feels different.
It feels; it feels more real. But more fake at the same time, like a dream ready to be snatched, even if that's happened before.
"Kangin-sshi," the reporters call out as his plane lands and he exits. "Kangin-sshi! How was military service?"
Youngwoon tips his head.
"Rewarding," he answers with a smile.
They watch silently as Jungsu carefully pulls a cap and sunnies on. Heechul watches from his corner before he looks away in disgust.
"Good luck." Hollow words are echoed. Jungsu tips his head, the smooth skin at his neck gleaming, mocking them all even as they see muscles he never had before, and a sharp look in his eye.
"I'll see you soon," he says, fingers trailing on Hyukjae's arm. Hyukjae concentrates to keep from screaming as a line of pain is left in Jungsu's wake, and he breathes, sweat springing to his pores.
"Bye bye," Heechul says mockingly as he stuffs his hands into his pockets and curls them.
Sungmin is the next to leave, less than twenty-four months since he arrived. He puts on a watch quietly and touches Heechul's wrist, even as he hisses from the pain.
"Goodbye," he says simply, lips down turned and baby fat gone.
He walks out, straighter and taller than he walked in.
It's Donghee the next day, skinny and unrecognisable.
"Thank you," he tells the room as he exits, hands in his pockets and the first one to leave smiling.
Heechul's knuckles are bleeding from the brick wall.
They leave, slowly, methodically. One by one by one, down the line of what used to be Super Junior.
Hyukjae's the first after Donghee, an extra six months of experiments and tests showing in his muscles and his steady hands. Jongwoon is surprisingly next, only minor tweaks down to his arms and legs, and Ryeowook is soon to follow. Kibum leaves as he enters; expressionless and well-formed. Kyuhyun wakes without a voice one day, panic evident in his eyes, and that's the day he leaves.
"You have to let go," Donghae says to Heechul as they watch Kyuhyun leave the room, feet stuffed into commando boots.
"But I don't want to," Heechul says, eyes staring at a crack in the wall.
"Well, that's why you're not going to leave," Donghae replies, pulling Heechul close, and Heechul lets him.
Siwon watches them from the corner. He leaves the next day.
They try everything on Heechul and he fights tooth and nail against them. His body has long given up; the pain sparks in his leg everytime he thinks about it, and whenever something new is jabbed into him, he goes limp. But his mind is sharp and clear, and he smiles through the pain, teeth clenched.
"Muscle strengtheners," one of the scientists explain, because they're not doctors.
"Fat burners," another says as another hole is created.
"Destroys affection," says a final one as she gives him a few pills in a cup, and he obediently swallows them.
"And how do you feel?"
"Like shit." Heechul remembers to grin even as his eyes flutter and his grip grows slack.
"Well that's a pity, Kim Heechul." Saranghaeyo, Kim Heechul.
"You'll never leave this place unless you co-operate, Donghae," someone says as he screams, straining against the bonds that hold him together.
"Let me go let me go don't make me like them just let me go," Donghae cries out, sobbing, and Heechul watches with blank eyes.
I've given up, he thinks, watching Donghae' frail form fight the drugs and his eyes, bloodshot.
"Don't do this," one of the scientists say, and Heechul realises he had said the same words.
"Leave me alone please don't do this to me please don't I want to leave this place just don't, please, don't just don't."
The scientists eye him before shooting a sleeping drug into him, and Heechul turns away.
It'll be a long time before either of them leave.