088b.
~DVD Commentary~
for Science and Faith (BY THE SCRIPT, I LOVE THE SCRIPT, it was weirdly fitting)
Mini Intro!
So I really liked this idea and wanted to write it for a while, and when I saw that I got my Run Devil Run prompt preference, I decided to go with it -- dual personalities and all that, plus the image from IWTFY fit the prompt pretty well, I thought. But the initial was just, HEY I WANT TO DO DOLLHOUSE!AR, which meant that there was almost no planning and just... an idea. Which made my first draft difficult to work with. It was just scenes that had popped into my head that I really liked and jotted down.
Also, I was a bit out of depth because I hadn't written SNSD before which showed in my characterisation a bit. But I had wanted to do the plot for a while but I couldn't figure out how to execute it, so this was the little push I needed.
Second draft I decided to start properly with a proper beginning, a proper plot, a proper everything, and I started with Jessica and the same beginning. But my beta said that it wasn't plausible and kind of OOC, and I talked with her and she agreed that either I could rewrite the plot or replace Jessica with someone else. So I replaced Jessica with Tiffany with minor changes -- I had maybe... 30%? of the final fic written and it wasn't too hard to change over since they had a semi-similar background, though I was sad I didn't get to include Krystal.
Third draft (barring edits and thankful scrutinising from betas - nautisch and arctictune as well as a last minute look over by misplacebaggage! Thank you, you wonderful people ♥) is the one I used, which I'll be going through scene by scene (GOD).
Commentary!!!!
Advised you keep the fic open at the same time to scroll!
Scene 1
The first scene is something I really liked -- actually everything until to around the Dream Concert is something I'm proud of and something I really liked. I wanted a really -- 'you can't escape this' tone. If you've watched Dollhouse then you'll know that the Dollhouse is something you can't escape -- and most of the time, you don't want to escape, because you don't know how. Dolls(/Actives, as they're called) are mindless and like infants in their inactive state, and wouldn't want to run away from someone, especially away from somewhere safe and full of fun things! And I've realised that I start with dialogue a lot, and while this isn't dialogue-dialogue, it's dialogue to me. Kind of a reminder to Tiffany, something that she remembers -- not in just the negative tone that it might sound like, but that SME helped form who she is.
Scene 2
This scene differs a lot to the Jessica version, because Krystal had an appearance here with some bitter feelings, basically WHY MEEEEE. It doesn't flow as well as the original scene, and I've had problems with this scene -- yeah I'm unsatisfied with it, and this was the best version I could get out.
Scene 3
I don't actually end up naming the representative -- partly because I couldn't think of a name I liked, but also because there's a certain distance Tiffany and the rep. She thinks of him in terms of his position and what he's done for her -- and he thinks of her just as Stephanie-the-future-idol/Tiffany.
Fun fact! 26 is my favourite number -- so of course it's my favourite place -- and non-descript is one of my favourite words :3 Clearance card because I like top security shit and I love swiping cards.
The layout of the lab was hard to figure out because I wanted to keep Dollhouse as authentic as possible with the same setting (in the show, they have a relaxation place that's basically the same layout as the one I (TRIED TO) write) but the scientist is usually in a balcony overlooking the relaxation area which is why they don't usually require surveillance cameras. For my purposes, because I wanted the areas separate because that's how corporate skyscrapers work, that's what I did. Layout is explained as best I could do -- basically just the room divided in two -- and the three different girls Tiffany sees are the three different times she'll be in this room, pretty much.
The monitors in English because I figured the original tech on the show is in English (because it's in the US) and it's not legal and I doubt that the original Dollhouse would bother making it multilingual and so the tech is kind of... pirated. Safely! And the monitors switching over the different info is kind of cycling through the different girls as shown on the surveillance cameras, and possibly those that are to become possible Handlers/Dolls.
NAME DROPPING TAEYEON WOOHOO, yes this is foreshadowing and Yoochun -- I kind of wanted to write a continuation which could have gone two ways: 1. where Yoochun and Junsu were dolls and Jaejoong was Yoochun's handler before he was overwhelmed by guilt and he chose to 'wake up' Yoochun and Junsu (not sure who I wanted as Junsu's Handler) and so they rebel against SME and want to ~REVEAL WHAT GOES ON~ while 2. was that JYJ were all Dolls and woke up and wanted to escape while Changmin and Yunho (+ a manager) were their Handlers and JYJ wanted to ~REVEAL THE TRUTH~ but later on you see Donghae mention that SNSD is the first group with majority of Dolls and you can see I kind of abandoned that second idea~
kekeke original Park Yoochun in the States. Also Jaehyun is one of my favourite Korean names -- just because I like the ~ae prefix and the ~hyun suffix and in all my olymfics I swear there is someone named ~aehyun.
Scene 4
I changed the word Actives to Dolls because it made more sense in this context -- in the TV show, Actives are called that because they're 'activated' for 'missions' which can range from a frisky night to a high risk robbery, and then they can become inactive and 'Retired' while the Dolls here aren't just switched on and off like in the TV show.
Up to five years since there's this 'curse' on idol groups not lasting more than five years blah blah blah yes this is me trying to incorporate canon! Also, on the TV show, five years is how long the contract lasts for an Active to be an Active.
anything they deemed important, worthwhile and profitable is actually a phrase I really like because it kind of just summarises SME/corporations in general and sounds really nice too.
Yes the representative is magical, they teach you that at SME school -- how to appear when people think about you. I hear it's useful in bed.
Here is kind of the distance and gap between the reps and the scientists -- and later the gap between the reps, the scientists and the Handlers. Reps try to be compassionate and at least seem sympathetic to the situation, while to scientists it's job. Also, in the show, because Actives are placed in high risk situations very often, the Handler is more the make sure that the Active is physically safe rather than mentally safe, as the Handlers do for the Dolls here. Also the Handler makes sure that in case the Dolls say something that reveals what actually goes on, like on camera, then they're there to shut them up.
Scene 5
Physically, she was perfect… is also a favourite of mine and a beta actually told me that it'd probably be better for me to change it a bit (the bit about singing in response to Seohyun's singing, I think) but I chose to keep it. I'm emotionally attached :(
English \o/ so that Tiffany actually understands what she's saying. Written Korean is phonetic, I believe? So she might be able to get the gist of it and be able to say it properly, the meaning might be lost. Also I swear the script was longer but Dollhouse-wiki proved me wrong, so the scene is short because I left it unfinished because I THOUGHT THERE WAS MORE DIALOGUE but there wasn't. Boo.
Scene 6
Wow I forgot I mixed tenses but yeah this whole fic is in past tense but for the 'present' moments aka the parts Tiffany thinks fondly of SNSD.
Imagine Jaehyun's highly accented voice, as a native Korean trying to pronounce English, say 'tabula rasa.' FUN! I also like that phrase, so I had to put it in. Also they actually dress like that in the show so I saw no reason to change it! And a beta helpfully pointed out that Tiffany would probably be creeped out by what she was seeing -- yeah her freaking out wasn't there before.
Tiffany wasn't meant to smile at the 'Boom' from Jaehyun (I swear I changed it) - it's an awkward, pained, I'm-listening-to-you-but-I-disagree smile AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT I THINK. Idk. Listen to me wax poetry/reason.
No one is allowed anywhere without a card in SME /o/ I like cards. Swiping cards!!!
Scene 7
I also like the number 24. A lot. So that's why the other level is 24! I'm creative I know. Also the area is meant to be super comforting and quiet and just safe feeling so I tried to reflect that :( Also tried to squish the architecture of the original show back into this one. The Actives do shower naked, together, co-ed, in the shower, because they have no sense of sex/gender so it's no problem. Here, though, the Dolls are divided and 24/26 is the female part while some other levels are the male areas (idk don't ask me).
More awkward smiling by Tiffany! Again, thank you for my beta for pointing out that she would be clearly uncomfortable in this setting. Me? I'd just go with the flow. They also fingerpaint on the show. I like finger painting.
Originally the dialogue by Seohyun was "I think I'd like to swim now," because that's how they talked on the show in their inactive states, but my beta pointed out that they're not really in a state of mind to process thought so that got changed, though I think it sounds a bit awkward and stilted now. It's a conflicting line. Such a small line causing so much drama!
Scene 8
Seohyun died in a freak accident because I couldn't be bothered to think of a proper one. Probably a car accident, I do not know. Though I agree with what Jaehyun says -- it's weird and creepy, her parents letting this happen. Jaehyun is also an outlet for some rationality in this otherwise crazy world. I like Jaehyun :( He has a nice name.
In the first draft, I have a scene (not sure if I kept it) where Sunny wonders what it's like to wake up after five years and find out you're an (inter)national icon, to see your face plastered everywhere, to find out everyone wants to be/be with you, and to find out you're a star. I quite liked that :( This is a bit of a rehash of that.
My beta pointed out Jaehyun is a bit twisted with that last line and though it didn't occur to me while I was writing, I can see how he can come across as just a little bit insane. But then again, working in an environment like this, you can't really be that sane.
Scene 9
Ugh this scene had heavy revision from my beta before she realised that our writing styles were vastly different and she gave up on suggesting so many suggestions and it's largely the same, with an extra line or two (give or take 5).
I also like the rep :( How he speaks -- it's so professional (which was hard to write at times) but, like, he cares about the girls, to an extent. While he may put his job first, you can't not work with these girls and not love them, just a small bit.
See Tiffany's paranoia at being Imprinted -- SHE ALREADY FINDS IT WEIRD AND YES, FORESHADOWING, NO I'M KIDDING ALL THIS FORESHADOWING IS KIND OF UNINTENTIONAL :(
Articulation is a favourite word of mine. So is etiquette. Which is why she is excused from her articulation lesson bc the rep gets to say it, kekeke.
Scene 10
Imprinting is really painful. Also I just copied what I saw from the show. I have nothing to say for this scene. It also gave me some troubles.
Scene 11
This one was nice, I liked this, because my betas liked it LOL yes I am shallow.
I just really like this :( The second paragraph with the more -- more loveable, more idol-like, and more Korean is one I reaaaaaally liked. Because you can't just summarise a personality into a few words. And Tiffany can't do that, not with something she's living and breathing.
I've used the skin description before but I can't recall where. It might be a WIP but I have a inappropriate feelings towards this description as well, because I really think it's as close as I can get to a perfect description of Tiffany at this point, and how she feels. She wants to be Tiffany, but she wants to be Stephanie as well. She comfortable how she is, being Tiffany, until something occurs that it just strikes her that she just might not belong, the she can't be Tiffany. She can't be the perfect Tiffany, but she's trying as hard as she can.
Scene 12
I like Seohyun's yelps. I feel like I can imagine them well after WGM, even if she didn't yelp, I don't know, did she yelp? She would be a cute yelper. With her squishy cheeks and big grin.
This is a small scene and it was originally only the first paragraph but I think that the Handler-Doll relationship goes both ways, which is why Seohyun's comforting Tiffany here. While it's usually Handler -> Doll, it's not exactly that simple here because they're not just Handlers to their Dolls, but also their bigger sisters and bandmates. They're living in the same place, day in day out, living the same job, day in day out, and it's not a one way relationship. This is different to the show.
Scene 13
tiring job, but not thankless I've also used this description before (in a WIP, and maybe again before that) because I think it really reflects the kpop-industry. You work so hard, but you get so much love that it almost feels worth it to work yourself to the bone, until you see stars, until you can barely breathe.
I was stuck for ages after the last scene. And this is whereI start deviating, a bit, from my original plot. My original plot (with Jessica) was demonstrated as in this conversation:
My fandom is Super Junior :( So I had to include them somehow!!! Also Siwon is clingy. So in came Siwon~ the gentleman~ with the throaty chuckle~ that everyone loves~
GLOMP-TACKLE-HUG EVERYONE LOVES DONGHAE!!! Glomp-tackle-hug is my favourite verb squish to describe Donghae's greeting. Always. Also he would be really cute in this scene :( Imagine his pout!! Imagine Siwon's long suffering face!! Imagine the ~HIGH TENSION HAESICA~ ~TROUBLE IN PARADISE~ (I wanted Tiffany to say that :( ) Also Donghae is wonderful, pushing Siwon into his crush but instead falling on his bum - gracefully, Siwon is a graceful gentleman. Tiffany-Donghae fake bantering! Yes I shipped them after this scene. I blame me.
"DONGSAENGS" I really like just like that line :( It's cute. Tiffany patting Donghae's cheek.
For Handler-Doll pairings I went off more early-day OTPs (also because Sungmin and Eunhyuk were close friends predebut that Eunhyuk would trust Sungmin regardless of their relationship and because it was easier to make Sungmin Eunhyuk's Handler than making him someone else's, because he already cared for Eunhyuk and he could cover for Eunhyuk because they have HISTORY!!! (NOT A BITTER HYUKMIN FAN) Kangteuk is self-explanatory as is Hanchul, I believe (yes Hankyung woke up and left, too) and Shihae because I have a soft spot for them but also because Donghae would be a really good Handler, and the others didn't really need Handlers, imo.)
(Handler-Doll pairings:
Scene 14
PITY PARTY!!! I love Titanic :( It's a tearjerker, perfect pity party material!
And Taeyeon actually goes against her own Handler -- independence!!
I love Sunny, she can be so bitchy but still with a smile on her face, though my characterisation is questionable.
Scene 15
This dream was actually the first one I wrote, and it was for Seohyun, because Seohyun was originally Jessica's Doll, before Yuri became Jessica's Doll and this scene was changed to Yuri. But Yuri really didn't fit (the narration was more to Seohyun's style -- it was kind of ethereal, I tried, and more dream-ish) so I was glad to keep the original almost perfectly. Ughhh I really like the writing in this scene because I think it really reflects the mood I was trying to achieve. Plus I wrote it in like <20min, super easy.
The dream is also from Joohyun's life, aka her parents dying. She used to live like in a rather remote place, on a farm kinda, but her parents died in a car crash, which is the dark shape she sees. It's the wreckage, still burning with dark smoke pouring from it. After her parents died, she was put in an orphanage. I can't remember what history I later decided on, but I think she had a really close friend and they just stuck together, but her friend got adopted and she didn't and she just wanted to ESCAPE so she came to SME and signed the contract. It's either that or her friend got accepted to SME too, so she came chasing after her friend. She also saw her parents die -- think On the Jellicoe Road by Melina Marchetta, with a similar setting, if you've read it.
"Everything's going to be alright." "Now that you're here." "Do you trust me?" "With my life." is a script from the show that the Handlers say to their Actives to get their trust, usually to get a Treatment or away from a dangerous situation. Which is why Tiffany feels a bit guilty, using it.
Scene 16
Yuri was originally Taeyeon going for a treatment and meeting them at practice -- whenever they go, they just assume that they're on a family emergency. Because I like band interactions, I got Tiffany to talk to each member individually, and each of them expressing their own views and how they dealt. Not sure how it worked, though.
Scene 17
"We're bandmates, so nothing is taboo." Ugh I just really like Sunny's bad-assery.
Scene 18
I have nothing to say about Hyoyeon's scene.
Scene 19
Jessica \o/ I think she'd understand Tiffany's situation most of all. And Jessica flashed a bright smile as she stood, just the right amount of teeth showing and eyebrows perked perfectly is how I see Jessica SO OFTEN I always used 'eyebrows perked' when I think about her because she has PERKY EYEBROWS but yeah. Idk, when I see her smiling that's what I think. I think it's a bit more forced, and maybe that's why it looks so perfect all the time?
Scene 20
Abrupt ending, I know. But I can't think of another way to finish it.
Scene 21
Iirc, she'd choose the present at any time used to be this present but there isn't really a choice so maybe not.
Scene 22
Strange ending /o/
Conclusion
THIS IS BASICALLY IT. More questions welcome but I can't guarantee I can answer them because I've already poured everything I know into this ~DVD COMMENTARY~
I liked the idea, and I'm not ashamed of how I executed it, though i will admit I am unsatisfied with the ending and I think I could've paced it better. Much better. And taken out religious themes because I'm not comfortable with them in fic. I'm a bit disappointed that my fic (this one, at least) was posted last because I finished it before the other one I wrote, and I didn't get many votes -- not complaining about the meagre readership, but I am a bit sad that I didn't get much/ANY concrit or just votes to see how I executed this.
I don't really have anything to say (since it's past 2AM) but thank you to the mods for organising this competition and to my betas and team for making it a great experience, and also to anions over at kpfwank for the idea of a DVD commentary. I hope this satisfies anyone who reads it.
NOW TO THE APPENDIX~
Draft #1
This draft was more throwing ideas across the room and watching them shatter and just understanding how the AR would work. Only a few of these scenes were eventually used/considered. As you'll see why... I also faced the dilemma of making it about one person (and her Doll) or about the whole band or even if I actually wanted a plot (thank you for people telling me that FICS NEED PLOTS). Enjoy~
---
Taeyeon remembers watching that interview of Leeteuk-oppa, of how he had wished, and probably still wishes, that he could be the leader to obliterate the 5 year jinx. She remembers the support of his band and how they probably want the same and to stay together through the years. But she also remembers how 5 years had seemed so far away, a distant goal when already 2 years seemed almost too much.
(beginning of the idea and speculation!!!)
Seohyun hears so often that she's perfect, a role model for all the young girls out there that she wonders if perfection is meant to be attainable and easy. Her self help books pile on the shelves and her fruit fills the fridge. It just seems so simple that she wonders why no one else does it. Afterall, it's all good.
Dreams are part of your subconscious, one of her psychology books tells her. They show what your mind may be actively suppressing, your secret urges and desires and sometimes things you fear too much to even think about.
It makes her curious when she dreams about a house she never knew - a large double storey fairytale with a large garden and a white picket fence. She recognises herself as the child that runs around it in her dream, ribbons in her long, beautifully flowing hair, always wearing a blue dress.
Sometimes the dreams end sweetly as she walks through the garden admiring the flowers. More often than not, though, the sky dramatically darkens until it's nighttime and she runs up the path between hedges taller than her, urging herself to go faster though she can't pinpoint the reason she's compelled to do so. Lightening flashes and thunder follows, so loud she can feel her bones vibrating, but no rain falls and her skin chills, goosebumps rising as if called.
Finally, when she feels as if her legs will break if she continues and her ribs are caved in, a dark shape appears. Seohyun slows until she's walking, knowing she has to continue but dreading the destination.
Everytime though, she'll wake before the shape starts resembling anything and she's only filled with a sense of deja vu the next morning.
Jessica knows the truth and is sworn to secrecy.
On some days it's easy to pretend, to hug the other girls tight, to pull Seohyun into her lap and to agree to an extra hours of vocals with Taeyeon.
On most days, she wishes she had never agreed, wishes that Krystal had taken the opportunity and left her alone to grow up as a normal girl.
Maybe it's because she never had the passion or drive to got through so much with only a small glimpse of the future. The very thought of agreeing to such a thing, to just throw away so much just like that, to give up time when it's the only thing you can always rely on...
Five years is enough to raise a child, from the depths of the womb to discovering gravity and balance. It's enough for a child to grow teeth, learn how to speak and to recognise the curves of their own name.
Five years feels like forever to Jessica, and she doesn't know why anyone would think less.
Sunny knows and she can see it in the depths of Jessica's eyes that she knows, too. But the thought isn't repulsive to her; it's fascinating.
What does it feel like? she wants to ask. What's it like going to sleep for five years? What's it like to wake up to find your body genetically perfect and to find your face plastered everywhere? What's it like to know you're not you?
But there's still two and a half years before she can ask those questions.
Taeyeon disappears one day, not in the dorms or at practice the next morning. When the rest of them trade worried glances, the manager tells them that Taeyeon had to leave for a family emergency and she'll return the following day. The collective relief is palpable.
That is, except Jessica, who frowns as she considers those words. What family could she have? The Taeyeon the public knows is the memory of another Taeyeon, one who had had so much passion and talent that it was tipped she'd be the next Korean Pop Princess. But the pressure had gotten to her as a trainee and she had committed suicide. The story always sends a shiver up Jessica's spine, but more so now because she remembers that Taeyeon's parents had been the ones to find the body. So where was Taeyeon?
"Taeyeon's getting a treatment," says one of the choreographers.
Jessica nods, starring at her feet. Her fingers feel icy cold as Sooyoung thumps shoulders and asks if she's okay.
"Fine," Jessica forces out before excusing herself to the bathroom.
Sunny's uncle explains to her the entire process when she says she wants to be an idol. He tells her not to discourage her -- because he knows she possesses his strong will -- but so that she understands it might happen to her.
She understands it perfectly and revels in the knowledge, researching the finer details and the science she doesn't fully understand. Sunny asks her uncle for more information, and he provides it.
It's such a simple but brilliant concept; erase a person's past life and personality, and replace it with another's. The second persona has more confidence, more skill and more passion. However, creating a person out of thin air is impossible, so the persona, the imprint has to have lived.
But it also means giving up yourself for five years. Five years is too much time to even consider surrendering, and Sunny agrees. Even if trainees' whole lives are taken over by singing, dancing, acting and articulation lessons, they still retain the core of who they are, their very centre of being; their personality, habits and memories.
That's why, her uncle explained, those who have no past to go to, those who are emotionally crippled, are the best. They have nothing left for them in one life, so it makes perfect sense for them to start a second.
(Because Sunny's uncle works in SME, he would know the process and explain to her, his little princess (canon, what's canon?) and she just loved the idea of it, it just fascinated her. She'd never do it, ofc, but she did ask her uncle if she could become a Handler.)
Sooyoung used to be a street kid. The hunger in her eyes hasn't ever faded and her greed for food, despite her stick thin body, has stuck with her.
(there was supposed to be more about Sooyoung here but I never bothered…)
(beginning of the first plot -- THE NICER PLOT)
One day, Jessica just snaps. She refuses to touch Yuri's hand in the modified choreography, and her jaw sets in a line when Taeyeon asks what's wrong.
"What's wrong? What's wrong? Oh, nothing, life's just peachy, isn't it? Perfect, wonderful, nothing wrong in the world, is there? Isn't that right, Yuri? Isn't that right, Taeyeon? Seohyun? Soo--"
"Jessica," Tiffany says warningly, wrapping an arm around Seohyun and shielding her protectively, like a doll. "Stop it."
"Stop what? I'm not doing anything, Tiffany. Or should I say Stephanie? Was your name the only thing they changed when you came here?" Jessica taunts, pronouncing Tiffany's names all Americanised, and Tiffany darts forward and pushes Jessica's shoulders.
"Shut up, shut the fuck up, you don't know what you're dealing with," Tiffany hisses and pushes Jessica again, making her stumble.
"Oh yeah? How can you fucking deal with this, this dollhouse we're always in, pretending dolls are people when they aren't. How did it feel to watch Seo--"
"Shut up, all of you!" their manager says, the one Jessica knows is Taeyeon's handler. "Practice will end here for today. Go back to your dorms. We'll practise the choreography again tomorrow."
Tiffany sends Jessica a glare as they dutifully pull on jackets and jumpers, grabbing their bottles of water and mobiles before shuffling out.
"Jessica, I know how you feel, but--"
"No, you don't," Jessica says, sends a look at Tiffany's arm resting on Seohyun's shoulders, and brushes off Yuri's worried hand. "You really, really don't."
(wish I could've used/kept this scene, tbh, I really like the contrast even if they're OOC)
Sometimes Jessica think about the day she was told everything, and all the secrets of SM Entertainment were spilled to her. The dolls and how memories are erased to make way for old-new memories -- worldly old, but new to them. The perfect person that isn't a person -- a doll.
And she remembers the question; "Are you, Jung Jessica, willing to give up five years for this? If you are, this is the amount you will receive at the end of these five years. If you are not, we would like to ask you to become a handler and mentor for one of the girls in your group."
Without even considering the paper, "I'd like to become a handler, please."
It had been so simple, until it wasn't.
Yuri had been introduced to her as a young girl who had been raised in an orphanage after her parents had died in a car crash. Physically, she was perfect; suit the Korean standards for attractiveness, a decent voice that could be honed in with enough training, and a listlessness that SM Entertainment seemed to favour. Her eyes said it all, I give up, you can take all you want from me. I have nothing left.
"Please, take this."
The sheet given to her was full of hangul she wasn't entirely sure of the meaning, but at a nod from the lab assistant, she took Yuri's hand and started reading.
"________________________" (striked out because I ended up using this scene)
Time and time again, she regrets saying yes, to not saying, fuck off, how could you do this to someone? At first it had been easy, to simply comfort Yuri after her nightmares and encourage her to practise the choreography one more time. But as time went on, Jessica couldn't keep the thought from mind; this is not the real Yuri.
It's just an Imprint, a layer on top of the original Yuri, smothering her personality, her feelings and her memories.
Draft #2
This draft I decided I needed a plot and that I would use Jessica as the main character, rather than just borrowing bits from everyone's perspectives. Most scenes were taken almost unchanged into the Tiffany version so I'm only keeping the ones that weren't used (because I want to fit this ALL INTO ONE GODDAMN LJ ENTRY). Please keep in mind I'm not an SNSD stan so my characterisation is extremely questionable, especially in this draft because it's un-betaed and I describe them based on my own perceptions. If it's underlined it means it was highlighted in my doc because I wanted to revise the line(s).
---
The rest of Girls' Generation was introduced to Jessica in batches. First, the Handlers, and then the Dolls.
All the Handlers had this underlying power and steel resolve that Jessica envied. They all seemed to know their place in the world and relish it, having no doubt in themselves or the ability that brought them here.
"I'm Stephanie, but my stage name is to be Tiffany. I'm originally from America so please excuse any mistakes I may make. Please take care of me." The girl bowed from her place at the table, and Jessica recognised her, having passed her at times at school. When Stephanie smiled lightly at her, Jessica knew that even if she was technically older, the confidence Stephanie exulted and the way she proudly held herself told Jessica that Stephanie knew she belonged here, rather than being shunted here as a lame second-prize.
"Hello, I am Sunkyu, but I prefer to be called Sunny, which will also be my stage name. My uncle is one of the higher-ups, which means I probably know the most about the Doll-Handler process. If you have any questions, please ask me. Please take care of me." She also bowed and Jessica couldn't help but sweep her gaze over her, noting the way the girl's lip curled in a mischievous way. She was pretty in an biting sort of way with a warning flashing in her eyes to not double-cross her or take her at face value.
"Hello, I am Hyoyeon and will be the lead dancer. Please take care of me." Her short, understated introduction made Jessica curious, looking at her a bit longer and noting the way her hair was in a messy bun rather than being cleanly swept and free. In some way, Jessica felt she could trust Hyoyeon to have her back in any situation, and wondered if this is how Yuri felt, trusting a stranger with her life.
"Hello, I am Jessica. I'm also from America but moved here with my family, and trained for seven years. Please take care of me." The words slipped off her tongue, even and careful as she felt four pairs of eyes on her. This was the accumulation of all her articulation lessons, the first of the many times she'd learn to measure out her words.
"Good. I'll be one of your managers and be the Handler to your leader -- Taeyeon, who is a Doll. You'll be meeting the rest of them in the next week -- if you haven't yet met your Doll, you will in the next few days. Any problems or concerns, especially those concerning the Dolls or the Handling process, don't hesitate to ask. Once we've all met, we'll begin training as Girls' Generation. That's all for today."
Yuri's nails were digging into her hand, leaving painful welts. Jessica knew exactly how Yuri felt, but she also had to be the strong one, do the appropriate thing as one of the Handlers.
"Hello," Jessica started, and bowed low. "I'm Jessica and this is Yuri."
"Hi, I'm Sunny and this is Sooyoung."
"Hello, I'm Tiffany and this is Seohyun."
"Hey, I'm Hyoyeon and this is Yoona."
"I'll be one of your managers, and this is your leader Taeyeon. If any of you have any problems or concerns, please don't hesitate to come to either of us."
Jessica tried to memorise names and faces, but there was too much to take in. Not only the other members of her future band, but the other people in the room also introduced themselves -- other managers, make-up artists and stylists, choreographers and vocal trainers they already knew, songwriters and produces, and a few people who didn't mention their profession. With a slight chill, she recognised Jaehyun, which meant that the rest had to be scientists, the ones who had programmed half the group.
"In the next few days," the manager Jessica knew was Taeyeon's handler, "you'll start moving into your dorm, the dorm you'll live in for the majority of the time you're in this band. After that, you'll start recording your debut album, learn the choreography and start filming the music video. Remember you're under constant scrutiny; make one mistake, and there will be consequences. Those attending school will continue as normal. Etiquette and articulation lessons will continue as before. Strict eating regulations will be enforced, and your measurements will be taken weekly. This is your life now. Remember you are the face of SM Entertainment and you must act accordingly. Questions?"
There was silence, and Jessica shuffled nervously. This wasn't the life she had envisioned. But, she never did imagine herself as an idol, about to debut as part of a girl group in one of the biggest entertainment companies.
Slowly, she closed her eyes and prayed for patience. She didn't choose this, but it chose her. Maybe it was fate.
More often than not, Jessica found herself in Jaehyun's office, at the same desk he had broken to news to her.
Jessica wasn't even sure what brought her here on her increasingly meagre breaks, except for the slight distance she felt between her and the other girls. Even Yuri, who had initially clung to her, was getting along with them -- bubbly and cheerful as ever. Jessica couldn't help but wonder what Yuri had been like before this Imprint, it suffocating and erasing Yuri's original personality.
"Jessica-sshi, welcome, what can I do for you? Are there any troubles with Yuri? Anything I can help you with?" he'd always start.
"Jaehyun-sshi," she would always answer, before following up with a question. "How do you decide who to change? How do you decide someone like Yuri would be better off as a Doll rather than a Handler?"
"Jessica-sshi, I'm not entirely sure you understand how we select candidates and trainees." Sometimes Jessica couldn't help wondering if maybe Jaehyun was a Doll. If Dolls stopped at idols -- maybe their choreographers were dolls, or their stylists, or maybe even Lee Sooman himself was one.
"There are many ways to enter the company; usually by auditioning or being scouted out." Here, Jaehyun programmed one of the monitors on his desk, the screen turning over to a photograph of a large, grey building. The very sight of it depressed Jessica.
"This is where Yuri used to be before she came here. Orphanages, believe it or not, are filled with talent without the opportunity to shine. The kids who live there are discouraged to join local talent competitions or socialise much with their classmates, which makes them hard to find. But Yuri was found -- not especially talented, but enough to get her here. The owners of orphanages contact us when they feel someone has the potential and fits our criteria, and scouts go to check them out."
Jaehyun paused to rifle in a folder and take out a sheet, handing it over.
"All idols are part of the system, and they're either a Handler or Doll." Jessica slowly read the list and felt her jaw dropping. It was a list of all talent SME had released, neatly divided into two columns; Handlers and Dolls. TVXQ, the TRAX and Super Junior were there, as well as some actors, and right at the bottom, penciled in, Girls' Generation.
"Criteria for Handlers and Dolls are different. Handlers are easy to find, to see if they fit the role or if we can mold them until we're satisfied. Talent and good looks, with a strong will. Dolls are different. Basic skills in singing, dancing, rapping, acting or MCing are required, as are decent looks, but those with broken resolves are easier. It isn't easy to convince someone to give up five years for fame and money, though there are a few who did it for that.
"That's why those who have no past to go to, those who are emotionally crippled, are the best. They have nothing for them in one life, so it makes perfect sense for them to start a second."
In some ways, Girls' Generation's debut was a dream come true. The nervousness behind stage had each Doll clinging to their Handler, Taeyeon standing carefully on her own.
Yuri's warmth against Jessica' side was a welcome distraction from her own nerves and sweaty palms.
"It'll be okay, we'll do great," Jessica said reassuringly, patting Yuri's back. "You've sung it a thousand times, and danced the choreo a billion. Everything's going to be alright."
Jessica felt guilt as she said the last few words, but it was only in passing; secondary. This was her job; to help and protect Yuri.
"Because you're here," Yuri replied softly into her shoulder.
Jessica licked her lips.
"Do you trust me?"
"With my life."
"Then trust me on this," Jessica said, squeezing Yuri's shoulder. "We will do well and our debut will be great."
After a pause, Yuri nodded and lifted her head, a hesitant smile on. Jessica reached up for a careful pat before a stagehand told them they'd be on in a few minutes.
"Ready?" Jessica asked, swinging their linked palms.
"Ready."
After debut and through 'Into the New World' promos, they all grew closer. Each Handler-Doll pairing became less isolated, and Jessica found herself laughing in front of the TV with Taeyeon and Sooyoung, Sunny chatting with Yoona about some CF, Hyoyeon still in the dance studio with Yuri and maybe Tiffany, with Seohyun doing her homework at the dining table.
Rather than thinking about the rest of the band in terms of Handlers and Dolls, she started thinking in terms of dancers and singers, chingu and dongsaengs, those she could wheedle into cooking and those she would have to fight the last crumb for.
SNSD started feeling like a family of nine rather than segregated groups, and Jessica learnt to love it.
(nightmare scene)
At the next possible opportunity, Jessica visited level 26.
"Jessica-sshi, welcome. What can I help you with? Are there any problems with Yuri--"
"Yes, actually," Jessica bit out, and the smile dropped from Jaehyun's face.
"What's wrong?"
"She's been having nightmares." Jessica awkwardly crossed and uncrossed her legs, trying for calm. "At first I thought they were normal, maybe from the pressure or being so tired. But it's too frequent for that, and she's beginning to get scared of going to sleep because of them."
Jaehyun leaned back in his seat, bracing his arms against the table before he exhaled. "Did she say what they're of?"
"She says she trapped in a completely white room, with no way out, and when she tries to scream for help, nothing comes out. Then a voice asks her who she is, and she can't remember, so she can't answer." Jessica swallowed past an awkward lump. This was a nightmare of hers, too.
Jaehyun typed for a moment before bringing up Yuri's profile on the monitors. He studied a chart as Jessica read Yuri's ID card -- Kwon Yuri, date of birth, notable skills -- willing for it to change to Yuri's other identity, the one no one knew.
"Okay, Yuri doesn't have any special brain activity, but it's been a while since her last Treatment." Jessica wrenched her gaze away to Jaehyun, pointing at a brain scan. She wrinkled her nose.
"Each Doll is due for a treatment every month, since it's dangerous and unstable to adopt Imprints for so long. The original program was designed for Imprints to last a few hours, maybe a day -- a week at absolute most. So we need to make sure everything's alright once a month. Just tell her she needs a 'Treatment' and she'll follow you."
"Is that it? After a Treatment, Yuri'll be fine?"
Jessica knew she was probably out of line, being so demanding and talking to Jaehyun so informally when she was an idol and she should watch her words and thoughts. But this was Yuri, and she was meant to take care of her, make sure she didn't come to any harm.
"Yuri's going to be fine," Jaehyun said, smiling reassuringly. "There's nothing wrong with her and it won't take long. When you have a break, just tell her to come in for a Treatment."
Jessica regarded Jayhyun distrustfully before she stood to leave. She had dance practice in twenty minutes.
"Okay, see you then."
After that, Jessica couldn't help but be on the slightest edge.
On the following Tuesday afternoon with a two hour gap in their schedules, Jessica tapped Yuri's shoulder, standing behind the sofa.
"Jessica?" Yuri asked when she looked up, smiling automatically. "What's up?"
Jessica smiled back, a little forced. "How do you feel like a Treatment?"
"Treatment? That'd be great. Now?" Yuri stood anyway, putting her book aside. Jessica nodded, handing Yuri her jacket.
"Yes, now."
It was simple. Jaehyun gently persuaded Yuri to recline on the chair as a light pulsed gently around her head before she arched, gasping softly. It was painful for Jessica to watch as she stood to the side, not missing a detail -- the strain in Yuri's arms as she tried to escape the pain as her head remained surrounded by light, the tendons in her neck stretching under translucent skin and her eyes wide open, mouth mirroring it.
After a few minutes, Yuri slumped in the chair in a dead heap, breathing shallowly before gently lifting her head, hair parting to reveal a serene smile.
"Hello, Yuri, how are you feeling?"
"Did I fall asleep?" she said in a quaint voice, completely unlike her energetic, perpetually happy self -- no, Imprint. Jessica shivered.
"For a little while," Jaehyun said as he casually walked over to his desk, taking out a syringe.
"Shall I go now?" Yuri said peacefully, still smiling contently as she made to get up.
Jessica watched as Jaehyun nodded, adding in, "If you'd like."
Yuri hopped off the chair, surveying the room before Jaehyun darted forward, stabbed her with a syringe and caught her as she fell.
"What did you do?" Jessica asked in a horrified whisper as Jaehyun helped Yuri's limp body into a chair, rearranging her limbs so they were presentable.
"For a Treatment to work and an Imprint to be viable after a month, we have to take it out, give the brain a rest, then insert it again." Jaehyun patted his pockets before spotting the syringe on the floor and picking it up to place it on his desk. "So we take the Imprint out for a few hours, let the Doll sleep it off before putting it in again, same as before. Yuri'll be fine in a few hours, though she might miss whatever's going on in your schedule later tonight."
Jaehyun looked over at Jessica, still wordless a few metres away, watching Yuri sleep peacefully.
"Don't you ever wonder where the Dolls stay while they're in their inactive states?
Questions welcome /o/ Thank you for sticking with me. Again, thank you to the mods (especially my mod, biases), thank you to my betas, thank you to my handholders who held my hand despite knowing nothing about my fic except that it was causing me PAINNNNNNN and thank you to my team, wonderful Team Canon/AR! ♥ You're awesomeeeeeee.
for Science and Faith (BY THE SCRIPT, I LOVE THE SCRIPT, it was weirdly fitting)
Mini Intro!
So I really liked this idea and wanted to write it for a while, and when I saw that I got my Run Devil Run prompt preference, I decided to go with it -- dual personalities and all that, plus the image from IWTFY fit the prompt pretty well, I thought. But the initial was just, HEY I WANT TO DO DOLLHOUSE!AR, which meant that there was almost no planning and just... an idea. Which made my first draft difficult to work with. It was just scenes that had popped into my head that I really liked and jotted down.
Also, I was a bit out of depth because I hadn't written SNSD before which showed in my characterisation a bit. But I had wanted to do the plot for a while but I couldn't figure out how to execute it, so this was the little push I needed.
Second draft I decided to start properly with a proper beginning, a proper plot, a proper everything, and I started with Jessica and the same beginning. But my beta said that it wasn't plausible and kind of OOC, and I talked with her and she agreed that either I could rewrite the plot or replace Jessica with someone else. So I replaced Jessica with Tiffany with minor changes -- I had maybe... 30%? of the final fic written and it wasn't too hard to change over since they had a semi-similar background, though I was sad I didn't get to include Krystal.
Third draft (barring edits and thankful scrutinising from betas - nautisch and arctictune as well as a last minute look over by misplacebaggage! Thank you, you wonderful people ♥) is the one I used, which I'll be going through scene by scene (GOD).
Commentary!!!!
Advised you keep the fic open at the same time to scroll!
Scene 1
The first scene is something I really liked -- actually everything until to around the Dream Concert is something I'm proud of and something I really liked. I wanted a really -- 'you can't escape this' tone. If you've watched Dollhouse then you'll know that the Dollhouse is something you can't escape -- and most of the time, you don't want to escape, because you don't know how. Dolls(/Actives, as they're called) are mindless and like infants in their inactive state, and wouldn't want to run away from someone, especially away from somewhere safe and full of fun things! And I've realised that I start with dialogue a lot, and while this isn't dialogue-dialogue, it's dialogue to me. Kind of a reminder to Tiffany, something that she remembers -- not in just the negative tone that it might sound like, but that SME helped form who she is.
Scene 2
This scene differs a lot to the Jessica version, because Krystal had an appearance here with some bitter feelings, basically WHY MEEEEE. It doesn't flow as well as the original scene, and I've had problems with this scene -- yeah I'm unsatisfied with it, and this was the best version I could get out.
Scene 3
I don't actually end up naming the representative -- partly because I couldn't think of a name I liked, but also because there's a certain distance Tiffany and the rep. She thinks of him in terms of his position and what he's done for her -- and he thinks of her just as Stephanie-the-future-idol/Tiffany.
Fun fact! 26 is my favourite number -- so of course it's my favourite place -- and non-descript is one of my favourite words :3 Clearance card because I like top security shit and I love swiping cards.
The layout of the lab was hard to figure out because I wanted to keep Dollhouse as authentic as possible with the same setting (in the show, they have a relaxation place that's basically the same layout as the one I (TRIED TO) write) but the scientist is usually in a balcony overlooking the relaxation area which is why they don't usually require surveillance cameras. For my purposes, because I wanted the areas separate because that's how corporate skyscrapers work, that's what I did. Layout is explained as best I could do -- basically just the room divided in two -- and the three different girls Tiffany sees are the three different times she'll be in this room, pretty much.
The monitors in English because I figured the original tech on the show is in English (because it's in the US) and it's not legal and I doubt that the original Dollhouse would bother making it multilingual and so the tech is kind of... pirated. Safely! And the monitors switching over the different info is kind of cycling through the different girls as shown on the surveillance cameras, and possibly those that are to become possible Handlers/Dolls.
NAME DROPPING TAEYEON WOOHOO, yes this is foreshadowing and Yoochun -- I kind of wanted to write a continuation which could have gone two ways: 1. where Yoochun and Junsu were dolls and Jaejoong was Yoochun's handler before he was overwhelmed by guilt and he chose to 'wake up' Yoochun and Junsu (not sure who I wanted as Junsu's Handler) and so they rebel against SME and want to ~REVEAL WHAT GOES ON~ while 2. was that JYJ were all Dolls and woke up and wanted to escape while Changmin and Yunho (+ a manager) were their Handlers and JYJ wanted to ~REVEAL THE TRUTH~ but later on you see Donghae mention that SNSD is the first group with majority of Dolls and you can see I kind of abandoned that second idea~
kekeke original Park Yoochun in the States. Also Jaehyun is one of my favourite Korean names -- just because I like the ~ae prefix and the ~hyun suffix and in all my olymfics I swear there is someone named ~aehyun.
Scene 4
I changed the word Actives to Dolls because it made more sense in this context -- in the TV show, Actives are called that because they're 'activated' for 'missions' which can range from a frisky night to a high risk robbery, and then they can become inactive and 'Retired' while the Dolls here aren't just switched on and off like in the TV show.
Up to five years since there's this 'curse' on idol groups not lasting more than five years blah blah blah yes this is me trying to incorporate canon! Also, on the TV show, five years is how long the contract lasts for an Active to be an Active.
anything they deemed important, worthwhile and profitable is actually a phrase I really like because it kind of just summarises SME/corporations in general and sounds really nice too.
Yes the representative is magical, they teach you that at SME school -- how to appear when people think about you. I hear it's useful in bed.
Here is kind of the distance and gap between the reps and the scientists -- and later the gap between the reps, the scientists and the Handlers. Reps try to be compassionate and at least seem sympathetic to the situation, while to scientists it's job. Also, in the show, because Actives are placed in high risk situations very often, the Handler is more the make sure that the Active is physically safe rather than mentally safe, as the Handlers do for the Dolls here. Also the Handler makes sure that in case the Dolls say something that reveals what actually goes on, like on camera, then they're there to shut them up.
Scene 5
Physically, she was perfect… is also a favourite of mine and a beta actually told me that it'd probably be better for me to change it a bit (the bit about singing in response to Seohyun's singing, I think) but I chose to keep it. I'm emotionally attached :(
English \o/ so that Tiffany actually understands what she's saying. Written Korean is phonetic, I believe? So she might be able to get the gist of it and be able to say it properly, the meaning might be lost. Also I swear the script was longer but Dollhouse-wiki proved me wrong, so the scene is short because I left it unfinished because I THOUGHT THERE WAS MORE DIALOGUE but there wasn't. Boo.
Scene 6
Wow I forgot I mixed tenses but yeah this whole fic is in past tense but for the 'present' moments aka the parts Tiffany thinks fondly of SNSD.
Imagine Jaehyun's highly accented voice, as a native Korean trying to pronounce English, say 'tabula rasa.' FUN! I also like that phrase, so I had to put it in. Also they actually dress like that in the show so I saw no reason to change it! And a beta helpfully pointed out that Tiffany would probably be creeped out by what she was seeing -- yeah her freaking out wasn't there before.
Tiffany wasn't meant to smile at the 'Boom' from Jaehyun (I swear I changed it) - it's an awkward, pained, I'm-listening-to-you-but-I-disagree smile AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT I THINK. Idk. Listen to me wax poetry/reason.
No one is allowed anywhere without a card in SME /o/ I like cards. Swiping cards!!!
Scene 7
I also like the number 24. A lot. So that's why the other level is 24! I'm creative I know. Also the area is meant to be super comforting and quiet and just safe feeling so I tried to reflect that :( Also tried to squish the architecture of the original show back into this one. The Actives do shower naked, together, co-ed, in the shower, because they have no sense of sex/gender so it's no problem. Here, though, the Dolls are divided and 24/26 is the female part while some other levels are the male areas (idk don't ask me).
More awkward smiling by Tiffany! Again, thank you for my beta for pointing out that she would be clearly uncomfortable in this setting. Me? I'd just go with the flow. They also fingerpaint on the show. I like finger painting.
Originally the dialogue by Seohyun was "I think I'd like to swim now," because that's how they talked on the show in their inactive states, but my beta pointed out that they're not really in a state of mind to process thought so that got changed, though I think it sounds a bit awkward and stilted now. It's a conflicting line. Such a small line causing so much drama!
Scene 8
Seohyun died in a freak accident because I couldn't be bothered to think of a proper one. Probably a car accident, I do not know. Though I agree with what Jaehyun says -- it's weird and creepy, her parents letting this happen. Jaehyun is also an outlet for some rationality in this otherwise crazy world. I like Jaehyun :( He has a nice name.
In the first draft, I have a scene (not sure if I kept it) where Sunny wonders what it's like to wake up after five years and find out you're an (inter)national icon, to see your face plastered everywhere, to find out everyone wants to be/be with you, and to find out you're a star. I quite liked that :( This is a bit of a rehash of that.
My beta pointed out Jaehyun is a bit twisted with that last line and though it didn't occur to me while I was writing, I can see how he can come across as just a little bit insane. But then again, working in an environment like this, you can't really be that sane.
Scene 9
Ugh this scene had heavy revision from my beta before she realised that our writing styles were vastly different and she gave up on suggesting so many suggestions and it's largely the same, with an extra line or two (give or take 5).
I also like the rep :( How he speaks -- it's so professional (which was hard to write at times) but, like, he cares about the girls, to an extent. While he may put his job first, you can't not work with these girls and not love them, just a small bit.
See Tiffany's paranoia at being Imprinted -- SHE ALREADY FINDS IT WEIRD AND YES, FORESHADOWING, NO I'M KIDDING ALL THIS FORESHADOWING IS KIND OF UNINTENTIONAL :(
Articulation is a favourite word of mine. So is etiquette. Which is why she is excused from her articulation lesson bc the rep gets to say it, kekeke.
Scene 10
Imprinting is really painful. Also I just copied what I saw from the show. I have nothing to say for this scene. It also gave me some troubles.
Scene 11
This one was nice, I liked this, because my betas liked it LOL yes I am shallow.
I just really like this :( The second paragraph with the more -- more loveable, more idol-like, and more Korean is one I reaaaaaally liked. Because you can't just summarise a personality into a few words. And Tiffany can't do that, not with something she's living and breathing.
I've used the skin description before but I can't recall where. It might be a WIP but I have a inappropriate feelings towards this description as well, because I really think it's as close as I can get to a perfect description of Tiffany at this point, and how she feels. She wants to be Tiffany, but she wants to be Stephanie as well. She comfortable how she is, being Tiffany, until something occurs that it just strikes her that she just might not belong, the she can't be Tiffany. She can't be the perfect Tiffany, but she's trying as hard as she can.
Scene 12
I like Seohyun's yelps. I feel like I can imagine them well after WGM, even if she didn't yelp, I don't know, did she yelp? She would be a cute yelper. With her squishy cheeks and big grin.
This is a small scene and it was originally only the first paragraph but I think that the Handler-Doll relationship goes both ways, which is why Seohyun's comforting Tiffany here. While it's usually Handler -> Doll, it's not exactly that simple here because they're not just Handlers to their Dolls, but also their bigger sisters and bandmates. They're living in the same place, day in day out, living the same job, day in day out, and it's not a one way relationship. This is different to the show.
Scene 13
tiring job, but not thankless I've also used this description before (in a WIP, and maybe again before that) because I think it really reflects the kpop-industry. You work so hard, but you get so much love that it almost feels worth it to work yourself to the bone, until you see stars, until you can barely breathe.
I was stuck for ages after the last scene. And this is whereI start deviating, a bit, from my original plot. My original plot (with Jessica) was demonstrated as in this conversation:
- almostkiwi says: (6:21:15 PM)
okay let's just say jessica talks to yuri, who talks to taeyeon
almostkiwi says: (6:21:28 PM)
and taeyeon is like to jessica; what is this nonsense
almostkiwi says: (6:22:01 PM)
and jessica is actaully really anxious/panicked, like: IT'S THE TRUTH.
almostkiwi says: (6:22:12 PM)
and i am lost
nautisch says: (6:22:32 PM)
that's good
almostkiwi says: (6:23:12 PM)
hmm, i'm thinking that the higher ups might be inclined to make jessica a doll just to shut her up
almostkiwi says: (6:23:59 PM)
but i don't want that :(
nautisch says: (6:24:06 PM)
yeah me neither :(
nautisch says: (6:24:18 PM)
but maybe jessica swears taeyeon to secrecy
almostkiwi says: (6:24:27 PM)
or taeyeon doesn't believe her at all?
nautisch says: (6:24:32 PM)
yeah that too
almostkiwi says: (6:25:17 PM)
OR
almostkiwi says: (6:25:23 PM)
there's ~discord~ between all the dolls
almostkiwi says: (6:25:28 PM)
and this divide between the dolls and the handlers
almostkiwi says: (6:25:45 PM)
and it becomes like, even noticeable on tv that there are reports going: has snsd had a fight?
nautisch says: (6:25:45 PM)
that would make me sad :( but if you wanted to write it
almostkiwi says: (6:26:02 PM)
before the manager decides that all the dolls are to have a treatment
almostkiwi says: (6:26:06 PM)
and then everything goes back to normal
almostkiwi says: (6:26:08 PM)
and jessica is pissed.
nautisch says: (6:26:17 PM)
ohhh
nautisch says: (6:26:19 PM)
that's interesting
almostkiwi says: (6:26:26 PM)
that's depressing :(
almostkiwi says: (6:26:39 PM)
and all the handlers are left awkward because they remember and the dolls are just like: unnie! :3 what's wrong? :3
nautisch says: (6:26:46 PM)
yeah
nautisch says: (6:26:50 PM)
that would be interesting
My fandom is Super Junior :( So I had to include them somehow!!! Also Siwon is clingy. So in came Siwon~ the gentleman~ with the throaty chuckle~ that everyone loves~
GLOMP-TACKLE-HUG EVERYONE LOVES DONGHAE!!! Glomp-tackle-hug is my favourite verb squish to describe Donghae's greeting. Always. Also he would be really cute in this scene :( Imagine his pout!! Imagine Siwon's long suffering face!! Imagine the ~HIGH TENSION HAESICA~ ~TROUBLE IN PARADISE~ (I wanted Tiffany to say that :( ) Also Donghae is wonderful, pushing Siwon into his crush but instead falling on his bum - gracefully, Siwon is a graceful gentleman. Tiffany-Donghae fake bantering! Yes I shipped them after this scene. I blame me.
"DONGSAENGS" I really like just like that line :( It's cute. Tiffany patting Donghae's cheek.
For Handler-Doll pairings I went off more early-day OTPs (also because Sungmin and Eunhyuk were close friends predebut that Eunhyuk would trust Sungmin regardless of their relationship and because it was easier to make Sungmin Eunhyuk's Handler than making him someone else's, because he already cared for Eunhyuk and he could cover for Eunhyuk because they have HISTORY!!! (NOT A BITTER HYUKMIN FAN) Kangteuk is self-explanatory as is Hanchul, I believe (yes Hankyung woke up and left, too) and Shihae because I have a soft spot for them but also because Donghae would be a really good Handler, and the others didn't really need Handlers, imo.)
(Handler-Doll pairings:
- MANAGER || TAEYEON
TIFFANY || SEOHYUN
SUNNY || SOOYOUNG
HYOYEON || YOONA
JESSICA || YURI
Scene 14
PITY PARTY!!! I love Titanic :( It's a tearjerker, perfect pity party material!
And Taeyeon actually goes against her own Handler -- independence!!
I love Sunny, she can be so bitchy but still with a smile on her face, though my characterisation is questionable.
Scene 15
This dream was actually the first one I wrote, and it was for Seohyun, because Seohyun was originally Jessica's Doll, before Yuri became Jessica's Doll and this scene was changed to Yuri. But Yuri really didn't fit (the narration was more to Seohyun's style -- it was kind of ethereal, I tried, and more dream-ish) so I was glad to keep the original almost perfectly. Ughhh I really like the writing in this scene because I think it really reflects the mood I was trying to achieve. Plus I wrote it in like <20min, super easy.
The dream is also from Joohyun's life, aka her parents dying. She used to live like in a rather remote place, on a farm kinda, but her parents died in a car crash, which is the dark shape she sees. It's the wreckage, still burning with dark smoke pouring from it. After her parents died, she was put in an orphanage. I can't remember what history I later decided on, but I think she had a really close friend and they just stuck together, but her friend got adopted and she didn't and she just wanted to ESCAPE so she came to SME and signed the contract. It's either that or her friend got accepted to SME too, so she came chasing after her friend. She also saw her parents die -- think On the Jellicoe Road by Melina Marchetta, with a similar setting, if you've read it.
"Everything's going to be alright." "Now that you're here." "Do you trust me?" "With my life." is a script from the show that the Handlers say to their Actives to get their trust, usually to get a Treatment or away from a dangerous situation. Which is why Tiffany feels a bit guilty, using it.
Scene 16
Yuri was originally Taeyeon going for a treatment and meeting them at practice -- whenever they go, they just assume that they're on a family emergency. Because I like band interactions, I got Tiffany to talk to each member individually, and each of them expressing their own views and how they dealt. Not sure how it worked, though.
Scene 17
"We're bandmates, so nothing is taboo." Ugh I just really like Sunny's bad-assery.
Scene 18
I have nothing to say about Hyoyeon's scene.
Scene 19
Jessica \o/ I think she'd understand Tiffany's situation most of all. And Jessica flashed a bright smile as she stood, just the right amount of teeth showing and eyebrows perked perfectly is how I see Jessica SO OFTEN I always used 'eyebrows perked' when I think about her because she has PERKY EYEBROWS but yeah. Idk, when I see her smiling that's what I think. I think it's a bit more forced, and maybe that's why it looks so perfect all the time?
Scene 20
Abrupt ending, I know. But I can't think of another way to finish it.
Scene 21
Iirc, she'd choose the present at any time used to be this present but there isn't really a choice so maybe not.
Scene 22
Strange ending /o/
Conclusion
THIS IS BASICALLY IT. More questions welcome but I can't guarantee I can answer them because I've already poured everything I know into this ~DVD COMMENTARY~
I liked the idea, and I'm not ashamed of how I executed it, though i will admit I am unsatisfied with the ending and I think I could've paced it better. Much better. And taken out religious themes because I'm not comfortable with them in fic. I'm a bit disappointed that my fic (this one, at least) was posted last because I finished it before the other one I wrote, and I didn't get many votes -- not complaining about the meagre readership, but I am a bit sad that I didn't get much/ANY concrit or just votes to see how I executed this.
I don't really have anything to say (since it's past 2AM) but thank you to the mods for organising this competition and to my betas and team for making it a great experience, and also to anions over at kpfwank for the idea of a DVD commentary. I hope this satisfies anyone who reads it.
NOW TO THE APPENDIX~
Draft #1
This draft was more throwing ideas across the room and watching them shatter and just understanding how the AR would work. Only a few of these scenes were eventually used/considered. As you'll see why... I also faced the dilemma of making it about one person (and her Doll) or about the whole band or even if I actually wanted a plot (thank you for people telling me that FICS NEED PLOTS). Enjoy~
---
Taeyeon remembers watching that interview of Leeteuk-oppa, of how he had wished, and probably still wishes, that he could be the leader to obliterate the 5 year jinx. She remembers the support of his band and how they probably want the same and to stay together through the years. But she also remembers how 5 years had seemed so far away, a distant goal when already 2 years seemed almost too much.
(beginning of the idea and speculation!!!)
Seohyun hears so often that she's perfect, a role model for all the young girls out there that she wonders if perfection is meant to be attainable and easy. Her self help books pile on the shelves and her fruit fills the fridge. It just seems so simple that she wonders why no one else does it. Afterall, it's all good.
Dreams are part of your subconscious, one of her psychology books tells her. They show what your mind may be actively suppressing, your secret urges and desires and sometimes things you fear too much to even think about.
It makes her curious when she dreams about a house she never knew - a large double storey fairytale with a large garden and a white picket fence. She recognises herself as the child that runs around it in her dream, ribbons in her long, beautifully flowing hair, always wearing a blue dress.
Sometimes the dreams end sweetly as she walks through the garden admiring the flowers. More often than not, though, the sky dramatically darkens until it's nighttime and she runs up the path between hedges taller than her, urging herself to go faster though she can't pinpoint the reason she's compelled to do so. Lightening flashes and thunder follows, so loud she can feel her bones vibrating, but no rain falls and her skin chills, goosebumps rising as if called.
Finally, when she feels as if her legs will break if she continues and her ribs are caved in, a dark shape appears. Seohyun slows until she's walking, knowing she has to continue but dreading the destination.
Everytime though, she'll wake before the shape starts resembling anything and she's only filled with a sense of deja vu the next morning.
Jessica knows the truth and is sworn to secrecy.
On some days it's easy to pretend, to hug the other girls tight, to pull Seohyun into her lap and to agree to an extra hours of vocals with Taeyeon.
On most days, she wishes she had never agreed, wishes that Krystal had taken the opportunity and left her alone to grow up as a normal girl.
Maybe it's because she never had the passion or drive to got through so much with only a small glimpse of the future. The very thought of agreeing to such a thing, to just throw away so much just like that, to give up time when it's the only thing you can always rely on...
Five years is enough to raise a child, from the depths of the womb to discovering gravity and balance. It's enough for a child to grow teeth, learn how to speak and to recognise the curves of their own name.
Five years feels like forever to Jessica, and she doesn't know why anyone would think less.
Sunny knows and she can see it in the depths of Jessica's eyes that she knows, too. But the thought isn't repulsive to her; it's fascinating.
What does it feel like? she wants to ask. What's it like going to sleep for five years? What's it like to wake up to find your body genetically perfect and to find your face plastered everywhere? What's it like to know you're not you?
But there's still two and a half years before she can ask those questions.
Taeyeon disappears one day, not in the dorms or at practice the next morning. When the rest of them trade worried glances, the manager tells them that Taeyeon had to leave for a family emergency and she'll return the following day. The collective relief is palpable.
That is, except Jessica, who frowns as she considers those words. What family could she have? The Taeyeon the public knows is the memory of another Taeyeon, one who had had so much passion and talent that it was tipped she'd be the next Korean Pop Princess. But the pressure had gotten to her as a trainee and she had committed suicide. The story always sends a shiver up Jessica's spine, but more so now because she remembers that Taeyeon's parents had been the ones to find the body. So where was Taeyeon?
"Taeyeon's getting a treatment," says one of the choreographers.
Jessica nods, starring at her feet. Her fingers feel icy cold as Sooyoung thumps shoulders and asks if she's okay.
"Fine," Jessica forces out before excusing herself to the bathroom.
Sunny's uncle explains to her the entire process when she says she wants to be an idol. He tells her not to discourage her -- because he knows she possesses his strong will -- but so that she understands it might happen to her.
She understands it perfectly and revels in the knowledge, researching the finer details and the science she doesn't fully understand. Sunny asks her uncle for more information, and he provides it.
It's such a simple but brilliant concept; erase a person's past life and personality, and replace it with another's. The second persona has more confidence, more skill and more passion. However, creating a person out of thin air is impossible, so the persona, the imprint has to have lived.
But it also means giving up yourself for five years. Five years is too much time to even consider surrendering, and Sunny agrees. Even if trainees' whole lives are taken over by singing, dancing, acting and articulation lessons, they still retain the core of who they are, their very centre of being; their personality, habits and memories.
That's why, her uncle explained, those who have no past to go to, those who are emotionally crippled, are the best. They have nothing left for them in one life, so it makes perfect sense for them to start a second.
(Because Sunny's uncle works in SME, he would know the process and explain to her, his little princess (canon, what's canon?) and she just loved the idea of it, it just fascinated her. She'd never do it, ofc, but she did ask her uncle if she could become a Handler.)
Sooyoung used to be a street kid. The hunger in her eyes hasn't ever faded and her greed for food, despite her stick thin body, has stuck with her.
(there was supposed to be more about Sooyoung here but I never bothered…)
(beginning of the first plot -- THE NICER PLOT)
One day, Jessica just snaps. She refuses to touch Yuri's hand in the modified choreography, and her jaw sets in a line when Taeyeon asks what's wrong.
"What's wrong? What's wrong? Oh, nothing, life's just peachy, isn't it? Perfect, wonderful, nothing wrong in the world, is there? Isn't that right, Yuri? Isn't that right, Taeyeon? Seohyun? Soo--"
"Jessica," Tiffany says warningly, wrapping an arm around Seohyun and shielding her protectively, like a doll. "Stop it."
"Stop what? I'm not doing anything, Tiffany. Or should I say Stephanie? Was your name the only thing they changed when you came here?" Jessica taunts, pronouncing Tiffany's names all Americanised, and Tiffany darts forward and pushes Jessica's shoulders.
"Shut up, shut the fuck up, you don't know what you're dealing with," Tiffany hisses and pushes Jessica again, making her stumble.
"Oh yeah? How can you fucking deal with this, this dollhouse we're always in, pretending dolls are people when they aren't. How did it feel to watch Seo--"
"Shut up, all of you!" their manager says, the one Jessica knows is Taeyeon's handler. "Practice will end here for today. Go back to your dorms. We'll practise the choreography again tomorrow."
Tiffany sends Jessica a glare as they dutifully pull on jackets and jumpers, grabbing their bottles of water and mobiles before shuffling out.
"Jessica, I know how you feel, but--"
"No, you don't," Jessica says, sends a look at Tiffany's arm resting on Seohyun's shoulders, and brushes off Yuri's worried hand. "You really, really don't."
(wish I could've used/kept this scene, tbh, I really like the contrast even if they're OOC)
Sometimes Jessica think about the day she was told everything, and all the secrets of SM Entertainment were spilled to her. The dolls and how memories are erased to make way for old-new memories -- worldly old, but new to them. The perfect person that isn't a person -- a doll.
And she remembers the question; "Are you, Jung Jessica, willing to give up five years for this? If you are, this is the amount you will receive at the end of these five years. If you are not, we would like to ask you to become a handler and mentor for one of the girls in your group."
Without even considering the paper, "I'd like to become a handler, please."
It had been so simple, until it wasn't.
Yuri had been introduced to her as a young girl who had been raised in an orphanage after her parents had died in a car crash. Physically, she was perfect; suit the Korean standards for attractiveness, a decent voice that could be honed in with enough training, and a listlessness that SM Entertainment seemed to favour. Her eyes said it all, I give up, you can take all you want from me. I have nothing left.
"Please, take this."
The sheet given to her was full of hangul she wasn't entirely sure of the meaning, but at a nod from the lab assistant, she took Yuri's hand and started reading.
"________________________" (striked out because I ended up using this scene)
Time and time again, she regrets saying yes, to not saying, fuck off, how could you do this to someone? At first it had been easy, to simply comfort Yuri after her nightmares and encourage her to practise the choreography one more time. But as time went on, Jessica couldn't keep the thought from mind; this is not the real Yuri.
It's just an Imprint, a layer on top of the original Yuri, smothering her personality, her feelings and her memories.
Draft #2
This draft I decided I needed a plot and that I would use Jessica as the main character, rather than just borrowing bits from everyone's perspectives. Most scenes were taken almost unchanged into the Tiffany version so I'm only keeping the ones that weren't used (because I want to fit this ALL INTO ONE GODDAMN LJ ENTRY). Please keep in mind I'm not an SNSD stan so my characterisation is extremely questionable, especially in this draft because it's un-betaed and I describe them based on my own perceptions. If it's underlined it means it was highlighted in my doc because I wanted to revise the line(s).
---
The rest of Girls' Generation was introduced to Jessica in batches. First, the Handlers, and then the Dolls.
All the Handlers had this underlying power and steel resolve that Jessica envied. They all seemed to know their place in the world and relish it, having no doubt in themselves or the ability that brought them here.
"I'm Stephanie, but my stage name is to be Tiffany. I'm originally from America so please excuse any mistakes I may make. Please take care of me." The girl bowed from her place at the table, and Jessica recognised her, having passed her at times at school. When Stephanie smiled lightly at her, Jessica knew that even if she was technically older, the confidence Stephanie exulted and the way she proudly held herself told Jessica that Stephanie knew she belonged here, rather than being shunted here as a lame second-prize.
"Hello, I am Sunkyu, but I prefer to be called Sunny, which will also be my stage name. My uncle is one of the higher-ups, which means I probably know the most about the Doll-Handler process. If you have any questions, please ask me. Please take care of me." She also bowed and Jessica couldn't help but sweep her gaze over her, noting the way the girl's lip curled in a mischievous way. She was pretty in an biting sort of way with a warning flashing in her eyes to not double-cross her or take her at face value.
"Hello, I am Hyoyeon and will be the lead dancer. Please take care of me." Her short, understated introduction made Jessica curious, looking at her a bit longer and noting the way her hair was in a messy bun rather than being cleanly swept and free. In some way, Jessica felt she could trust Hyoyeon to have her back in any situation, and wondered if this is how Yuri felt, trusting a stranger with her life.
"Hello, I am Jessica. I'm also from America but moved here with my family, and trained for seven years. Please take care of me." The words slipped off her tongue, even and careful as she felt four pairs of eyes on her. This was the accumulation of all her articulation lessons, the first of the many times she'd learn to measure out her words.
"Good. I'll be one of your managers and be the Handler to your leader -- Taeyeon, who is a Doll. You'll be meeting the rest of them in the next week -- if you haven't yet met your Doll, you will in the next few days. Any problems or concerns, especially those concerning the Dolls or the Handling process, don't hesitate to ask. Once we've all met, we'll begin training as Girls' Generation. That's all for today."
Yuri's nails were digging into her hand, leaving painful welts. Jessica knew exactly how Yuri felt, but she also had to be the strong one, do the appropriate thing as one of the Handlers.
"Hello," Jessica started, and bowed low. "I'm Jessica and this is Yuri."
"Hi, I'm Sunny and this is Sooyoung."
"Hello, I'm Tiffany and this is Seohyun."
"Hey, I'm Hyoyeon and this is Yoona."
"I'll be one of your managers, and this is your leader Taeyeon. If any of you have any problems or concerns, please don't hesitate to come to either of us."
Jessica tried to memorise names and faces, but there was too much to take in. Not only the other members of her future band, but the other people in the room also introduced themselves -- other managers, make-up artists and stylists, choreographers and vocal trainers they already knew, songwriters and produces, and a few people who didn't mention their profession. With a slight chill, she recognised Jaehyun, which meant that the rest had to be scientists, the ones who had programmed half the group.
"In the next few days," the manager Jessica knew was Taeyeon's handler, "you'll start moving into your dorm, the dorm you'll live in for the majority of the time you're in this band. After that, you'll start recording your debut album, learn the choreography and start filming the music video. Remember you're under constant scrutiny; make one mistake, and there will be consequences. Those attending school will continue as normal. Etiquette and articulation lessons will continue as before. Strict eating regulations will be enforced, and your measurements will be taken weekly. This is your life now. Remember you are the face of SM Entertainment and you must act accordingly. Questions?"
There was silence, and Jessica shuffled nervously. This wasn't the life she had envisioned. But, she never did imagine herself as an idol, about to debut as part of a girl group in one of the biggest entertainment companies.
Slowly, she closed her eyes and prayed for patience. She didn't choose this, but it chose her. Maybe it was fate.
More often than not, Jessica found herself in Jaehyun's office, at the same desk he had broken to news to her.
Jessica wasn't even sure what brought her here on her increasingly meagre breaks, except for the slight distance she felt between her and the other girls. Even Yuri, who had initially clung to her, was getting along with them -- bubbly and cheerful as ever. Jessica couldn't help but wonder what Yuri had been like before this Imprint, it suffocating and erasing Yuri's original personality.
"Jessica-sshi, welcome, what can I do for you? Are there any troubles with Yuri? Anything I can help you with?" he'd always start.
"Jaehyun-sshi," she would always answer, before following up with a question. "How do you decide who to change? How do you decide someone like Yuri would be better off as a Doll rather than a Handler?"
"Jessica-sshi, I'm not entirely sure you understand how we select candidates and trainees." Sometimes Jessica couldn't help wondering if maybe Jaehyun was a Doll. If Dolls stopped at idols -- maybe their choreographers were dolls, or their stylists, or maybe even Lee Sooman himself was one.
"There are many ways to enter the company; usually by auditioning or being scouted out." Here, Jaehyun programmed one of the monitors on his desk, the screen turning over to a photograph of a large, grey building. The very sight of it depressed Jessica.
"This is where Yuri used to be before she came here. Orphanages, believe it or not, are filled with talent without the opportunity to shine. The kids who live there are discouraged to join local talent competitions or socialise much with their classmates, which makes them hard to find. But Yuri was found -- not especially talented, but enough to get her here. The owners of orphanages contact us when they feel someone has the potential and fits our criteria, and scouts go to check them out."
Jaehyun paused to rifle in a folder and take out a sheet, handing it over.
"All idols are part of the system, and they're either a Handler or Doll." Jessica slowly read the list and felt her jaw dropping. It was a list of all talent SME had released, neatly divided into two columns; Handlers and Dolls. TVXQ, the TRAX and Super Junior were there, as well as some actors, and right at the bottom, penciled in, Girls' Generation.
"Criteria for Handlers and Dolls are different. Handlers are easy to find, to see if they fit the role or if we can mold them until we're satisfied. Talent and good looks, with a strong will. Dolls are different. Basic skills in singing, dancing, rapping, acting or MCing are required, as are decent looks, but those with broken resolves are easier. It isn't easy to convince someone to give up five years for fame and money, though there are a few who did it for that.
"That's why those who have no past to go to, those who are emotionally crippled, are the best. They have nothing for them in one life, so it makes perfect sense for them to start a second."
In some ways, Girls' Generation's debut was a dream come true. The nervousness behind stage had each Doll clinging to their Handler, Taeyeon standing carefully on her own.
Yuri's warmth against Jessica' side was a welcome distraction from her own nerves and sweaty palms.
"It'll be okay, we'll do great," Jessica said reassuringly, patting Yuri's back. "You've sung it a thousand times, and danced the choreo a billion. Everything's going to be alright."
Jessica felt guilt as she said the last few words, but it was only in passing; secondary. This was her job; to help and protect Yuri.
"Because you're here," Yuri replied softly into her shoulder.
Jessica licked her lips.
"Do you trust me?"
"With my life."
"Then trust me on this," Jessica said, squeezing Yuri's shoulder. "We will do well and our debut will be great."
After a pause, Yuri nodded and lifted her head, a hesitant smile on. Jessica reached up for a careful pat before a stagehand told them they'd be on in a few minutes.
"Ready?" Jessica asked, swinging their linked palms.
"Ready."
After debut and through 'Into the New World' promos, they all grew closer. Each Handler-Doll pairing became less isolated, and Jessica found herself laughing in front of the TV with Taeyeon and Sooyoung, Sunny chatting with Yoona about some CF, Hyoyeon still in the dance studio with Yuri and maybe Tiffany, with Seohyun doing her homework at the dining table.
Rather than thinking about the rest of the band in terms of Handlers and Dolls, she started thinking in terms of dancers and singers, chingu and dongsaengs, those she could wheedle into cooking and those she would have to fight the last crumb for.
SNSD started feeling like a family of nine rather than segregated groups, and Jessica learnt to love it.
(nightmare scene)
At the next possible opportunity, Jessica visited level 26.
"Jessica-sshi, welcome. What can I help you with? Are there any problems with Yuri--"
"Yes, actually," Jessica bit out, and the smile dropped from Jaehyun's face.
"What's wrong?"
"She's been having nightmares." Jessica awkwardly crossed and uncrossed her legs, trying for calm. "At first I thought they were normal, maybe from the pressure or being so tired. But it's too frequent for that, and she's beginning to get scared of going to sleep because of them."
Jaehyun leaned back in his seat, bracing his arms against the table before he exhaled. "Did she say what they're of?"
"She says she trapped in a completely white room, with no way out, and when she tries to scream for help, nothing comes out. Then a voice asks her who she is, and she can't remember, so she can't answer." Jessica swallowed past an awkward lump. This was a nightmare of hers, too.
Jaehyun typed for a moment before bringing up Yuri's profile on the monitors. He studied a chart as Jessica read Yuri's ID card -- Kwon Yuri, date of birth, notable skills -- willing for it to change to Yuri's other identity, the one no one knew.
"Okay, Yuri doesn't have any special brain activity, but it's been a while since her last Treatment." Jessica wrenched her gaze away to Jaehyun, pointing at a brain scan. She wrinkled her nose.
"Each Doll is due for a treatment every month, since it's dangerous and unstable to adopt Imprints for so long. The original program was designed for Imprints to last a few hours, maybe a day -- a week at absolute most. So we need to make sure everything's alright once a month. Just tell her she needs a 'Treatment' and she'll follow you."
"Is that it? After a Treatment, Yuri'll be fine?"
Jessica knew she was probably out of line, being so demanding and talking to Jaehyun so informally when she was an idol and she should watch her words and thoughts. But this was Yuri, and she was meant to take care of her, make sure she didn't come to any harm.
"Yuri's going to be fine," Jaehyun said, smiling reassuringly. "There's nothing wrong with her and it won't take long. When you have a break, just tell her to come in for a Treatment."
Jessica regarded Jayhyun distrustfully before she stood to leave. She had dance practice in twenty minutes.
"Okay, see you then."
After that, Jessica couldn't help but be on the slightest edge.
On the following Tuesday afternoon with a two hour gap in their schedules, Jessica tapped Yuri's shoulder, standing behind the sofa.
"Jessica?" Yuri asked when she looked up, smiling automatically. "What's up?"
Jessica smiled back, a little forced. "How do you feel like a Treatment?"
"Treatment? That'd be great. Now?" Yuri stood anyway, putting her book aside. Jessica nodded, handing Yuri her jacket.
"Yes, now."
It was simple. Jaehyun gently persuaded Yuri to recline on the chair as a light pulsed gently around her head before she arched, gasping softly. It was painful for Jessica to watch as she stood to the side, not missing a detail -- the strain in Yuri's arms as she tried to escape the pain as her head remained surrounded by light, the tendons in her neck stretching under translucent skin and her eyes wide open, mouth mirroring it.
After a few minutes, Yuri slumped in the chair in a dead heap, breathing shallowly before gently lifting her head, hair parting to reveal a serene smile.
"Hello, Yuri, how are you feeling?"
"Did I fall asleep?" she said in a quaint voice, completely unlike her energetic, perpetually happy self -- no, Imprint. Jessica shivered.
"For a little while," Jaehyun said as he casually walked over to his desk, taking out a syringe.
"Shall I go now?" Yuri said peacefully, still smiling contently as she made to get up.
Jessica watched as Jaehyun nodded, adding in, "If you'd like."
Yuri hopped off the chair, surveying the room before Jaehyun darted forward, stabbed her with a syringe and caught her as she fell.
"What did you do?" Jessica asked in a horrified whisper as Jaehyun helped Yuri's limp body into a chair, rearranging her limbs so they were presentable.
"For a Treatment to work and an Imprint to be viable after a month, we have to take it out, give the brain a rest, then insert it again." Jaehyun patted his pockets before spotting the syringe on the floor and picking it up to place it on his desk. "So we take the Imprint out for a few hours, let the Doll sleep it off before putting it in again, same as before. Yuri'll be fine in a few hours, though she might miss whatever's going on in your schedule later tonight."
Jaehyun looked over at Jessica, still wordless a few metres away, watching Yuri sleep peacefully.
"Don't you ever wonder where the Dolls stay while they're in their inactive states?
Questions welcome /o/ Thank you for sticking with me. Again, thank you to the mods (especially my mod, biases), thank you to my betas, thank you to my handholders who held my hand despite knowing nothing about my fic except that it was causing me PAINNNNNNN and thank you to my team, wonderful Team Canon/AR! ♥ You're awesomeeeeeee.