mostly what i need from you 3 (lotrips, pg)
I am trying to resurrect my long-derelict WIPs... in that spirit...
Mostly What I Need From You
(Disclaimer: Not true.)
Part 1. Part 2. And here's Part 3.
*
Elijah screens The Good Son for Dom with mingled eagerness and trepidation. It's never fun hearing his own preteen performances savaged, of course, but there's a chance Dom will get a few shots in on Macaulay Culkin while he's at it. Elijah's already preparing a few polite yet surreptitiously encouraging responses to keep Dom ragging on Macaulay for as long as he can draw it out.
The film's much, much worse than he recalled. The ending is so ludicrous that Elijah actually does a spit-take with his drink when he sees it, and he remembers filming it. This one's definitely going to get Dom sharpening his knives and digging in, no question.
Elijah's disappointed, though. When the credits roll, Dominic stands and stretches. "Not bad, eh," he says. "I didn't think much of the script, but for the material, it came off as well as it could've done, really."
"Really?" Elijah asks, incredulous.
"Well, you acted circles around the other kid, but that's no shock."
"That other kid was Macaulay Culkin."
"Who?"
"Macaulay Culkin! He was like, the most famous child actor... ever... for a while." The same while that Elijah was hanging around in casting offices trying to get the time of day, he doesn't add. "He had a ton of star vehicles after Home Alone was a huge hit." Dom give him a blank look and Elijah gapes. "Remember? Home Alone?" Elijah makes the face, hands on his cheeks, mouth open.
"Er. Don't really remember who was in that," Dom says. "Never saw it."
Somehow, that pleases Elijah more than any derisive comments Dom could possibly make.
"You didn't miss much," he says. "Hey, it's not that late yet. Let's go out!"
*
They're on their way into a bar when Elijah's cellphone rings and he nearly jumps out of his skin. "What the fuck! This thing was dead!"
Dom glances up. "Oh yeah, I meant to say. I saw the light on your mobile was off, so I plugged it in for you."
"Thanks," Elijah says weakly. He's constitutionally incapable of letting a call go to voicemail. He doesn't give the cell number out to many people, and he can't deal with the idea that any of those people might find out that he screened their call. "I'm gonna take this call and have a smoke before I go in, okay?"
"Sure, yeah. I'll try to leave some girls and beer for you, but I make no guarantees."
Dom disappears into the throng and through the doors as Elijah picks up.
"Hey, Elijah!" It's Sean Astin this time. Elijah sags against the wall, shouldering the phone against his ear and lighting a Sampoerna.
"Sean, good to hear from you, buddy. How's Christine and the angels?"
"We're all doing really well, Lijah... hey, speaking of family and friends, is Dom with you?" Sean, God love him, isn't really much for subtlety.
"Yes he's with me and yes I know everyone wants me to tell him to quit criticizing their work and yes I'm doing something about it."
"Bean told me about your plan to get out of talking to him. Lijah, why don't you just tell him? He needs to know."
"If he needs to know so bad, why doesn't one of you tell him?"
"He'll take it a lot better from you," Sean reasons. "You're so diplomatic, Elijah."
Not by choice, Elijah thinks to himself, but he just sighs and says, "Well, I'm not going to. Everyone keeps saying that I have to do it because Dom's never whaled on my work--"
"Was that a Flipper joke?"
"Flipper was a dolphin."
"Is it working, your big plan to get him to tear your work apart?"
"Ummm..." Well, it's Sean. Elijah admits, "Not really. I showed him North, and The Good Son, and he didn't say anything. Those are definitely the worst movies I've ever been in."
"Aaaaah, The Good Son wasn't that bad," Sean says.
"But wasn't Macaulay Culkin kind of unconvincing?" Elijah asks. "You don't think he came off as less like a dangerous killer and more like the kind of bratty little diva who'd hog the G.I. Joes and tell the director he needed all the action figures in order to understand his character's motivation whenever you tried to play with them too?"
"I just think you've been in worse movies."
"--Hey!"
"Plus, even Dom might hold back from ragging on stuff you were in as a kid. Like, he only gave me about ten minutes of crap over Goonies. Compare that to stuff I did later like Where the Day Takes You-- he was jerking me around about that one for weeks."
"I guess I could show him that Oliver Twist thing I did. That wasn't great," Elijah concedes.
"Sheesh, Lijah, why don't you just show him your Lays commercial," Sean snorts. "You gotta put something on the table. What about that improv film where you kissed Brooke Shields?"
"Black and White?" Elijah shudders. "I'm not sitting through that one again, not unless things get really drastic. I'll show him Bumblebee tomorrow. That was sucky and straight to video, and I was old enough to know better."
When he goes inside, Dom is doing one of those semi-shady chat-up things he often does with guys in bars. These guys usually look casual but impossibly clean-cut, which has always led Elijah to believe they're probably pot dealers. Dom hasn't smoked a leaf of the stuff in at least a year, but apparently he likes to keep his big round monkey-like ear to the ground anyway, because he still regularly has those quiet conversations with fresh-faced dope fiends in bars.
Dom spots Elijah coming over into earshot and promptly tells the guy, "Thanks, though," gripping his shoulder briefly in some undoubtedly significant drug-code-type way. He meets Elijah at the bar, dropping off a couple of empty glasses and asking in a jocular fashion, "What're you drinking?"
"Hey, if you're not done jive talking, don't let me tear you away from Reefer Madness there," Elijah jerks his chin at the pot guy.
"--No worries," Dom says with an inscrutable look, and proceeds to explain everything that's wrong with the new Nicole Kidman movie, the latest Nick Hornby novel, the prospects for X-Men 3, the Feng Shui in the bar, and Guinness in America, which is apparently a warm cup full of donkey diarrhea compared to Guinness in the UK.
Feeling no pain, Elijah hoists his glass of donkey shite and proposes, "To the memory of Wichitar."
"Aw, thanks, mate. Cheers," Dom says, clinking their glasses and draining his pint.
Elijah considers proposing toasts to more dead things, like the fun parts of Alias, and Macaulay Culkin's career. But extensive experimentation has proven in the past that it's just not physically possible for him to get that drunk.
*
Part Four.
Mostly What I Need From You
(Disclaimer: Not true.)
Part 1. Part 2. And here's Part 3.
*
Elijah screens The Good Son for Dom with mingled eagerness and trepidation. It's never fun hearing his own preteen performances savaged, of course, but there's a chance Dom will get a few shots in on Macaulay Culkin while he's at it. Elijah's already preparing a few polite yet surreptitiously encouraging responses to keep Dom ragging on Macaulay for as long as he can draw it out.
The film's much, much worse than he recalled. The ending is so ludicrous that Elijah actually does a spit-take with his drink when he sees it, and he remembers filming it. This one's definitely going to get Dom sharpening his knives and digging in, no question.
Elijah's disappointed, though. When the credits roll, Dominic stands and stretches. "Not bad, eh," he says. "I didn't think much of the script, but for the material, it came off as well as it could've done, really."
"Really?" Elijah asks, incredulous.
"Well, you acted circles around the other kid, but that's no shock."
"That other kid was Macaulay Culkin."
"Who?"
"Macaulay Culkin! He was like, the most famous child actor... ever... for a while." The same while that Elijah was hanging around in casting offices trying to get the time of day, he doesn't add. "He had a ton of star vehicles after Home Alone was a huge hit." Dom give him a blank look and Elijah gapes. "Remember? Home Alone?" Elijah makes the face, hands on his cheeks, mouth open.
"Er. Don't really remember who was in that," Dom says. "Never saw it."
Somehow, that pleases Elijah more than any derisive comments Dom could possibly make.
"You didn't miss much," he says. "Hey, it's not that late yet. Let's go out!"
*
They're on their way into a bar when Elijah's cellphone rings and he nearly jumps out of his skin. "What the fuck! This thing was dead!"
Dom glances up. "Oh yeah, I meant to say. I saw the light on your mobile was off, so I plugged it in for you."
"Thanks," Elijah says weakly. He's constitutionally incapable of letting a call go to voicemail. He doesn't give the cell number out to many people, and he can't deal with the idea that any of those people might find out that he screened their call. "I'm gonna take this call and have a smoke before I go in, okay?"
"Sure, yeah. I'll try to leave some girls and beer for you, but I make no guarantees."
Dom disappears into the throng and through the doors as Elijah picks up.
"Hey, Elijah!" It's Sean Astin this time. Elijah sags against the wall, shouldering the phone against his ear and lighting a Sampoerna.
"Sean, good to hear from you, buddy. How's Christine and the angels?"
"We're all doing really well, Lijah... hey, speaking of family and friends, is Dom with you?" Sean, God love him, isn't really much for subtlety.
"Yes he's with me and yes I know everyone wants me to tell him to quit criticizing their work and yes I'm doing something about it."
"Bean told me about your plan to get out of talking to him. Lijah, why don't you just tell him? He needs to know."
"If he needs to know so bad, why doesn't one of you tell him?"
"He'll take it a lot better from you," Sean reasons. "You're so diplomatic, Elijah."
Not by choice, Elijah thinks to himself, but he just sighs and says, "Well, I'm not going to. Everyone keeps saying that I have to do it because Dom's never whaled on my work--"
"Was that a Flipper joke?"
"Flipper was a dolphin."
"Is it working, your big plan to get him to tear your work apart?"
"Ummm..." Well, it's Sean. Elijah admits, "Not really. I showed him North, and The Good Son, and he didn't say anything. Those are definitely the worst movies I've ever been in."
"Aaaaah, The Good Son wasn't that bad," Sean says.
"But wasn't Macaulay Culkin kind of unconvincing?" Elijah asks. "You don't think he came off as less like a dangerous killer and more like the kind of bratty little diva who'd hog the G.I. Joes and tell the director he needed all the action figures in order to understand his character's motivation whenever you tried to play with them too?"
"I just think you've been in worse movies."
"--Hey!"
"Plus, even Dom might hold back from ragging on stuff you were in as a kid. Like, he only gave me about ten minutes of crap over Goonies. Compare that to stuff I did later like Where the Day Takes You-- he was jerking me around about that one for weeks."
"I guess I could show him that Oliver Twist thing I did. That wasn't great," Elijah concedes.
"Sheesh, Lijah, why don't you just show him your Lays commercial," Sean snorts. "You gotta put something on the table. What about that improv film where you kissed Brooke Shields?"
"Black and White?" Elijah shudders. "I'm not sitting through that one again, not unless things get really drastic. I'll show him Bumblebee tomorrow. That was sucky and straight to video, and I was old enough to know better."
When he goes inside, Dom is doing one of those semi-shady chat-up things he often does with guys in bars. These guys usually look casual but impossibly clean-cut, which has always led Elijah to believe they're probably pot dealers. Dom hasn't smoked a leaf of the stuff in at least a year, but apparently he likes to keep his big round monkey-like ear to the ground anyway, because he still regularly has those quiet conversations with fresh-faced dope fiends in bars.
Dom spots Elijah coming over into earshot and promptly tells the guy, "Thanks, though," gripping his shoulder briefly in some undoubtedly significant drug-code-type way. He meets Elijah at the bar, dropping off a couple of empty glasses and asking in a jocular fashion, "What're you drinking?"
"Hey, if you're not done jive talking, don't let me tear you away from Reefer Madness there," Elijah jerks his chin at the pot guy.
"--No worries," Dom says with an inscrutable look, and proceeds to explain everything that's wrong with the new Nicole Kidman movie, the latest Nick Hornby novel, the prospects for X-Men 3, the Feng Shui in the bar, and Guinness in America, which is apparently a warm cup full of donkey diarrhea compared to Guinness in the UK.
Feeling no pain, Elijah hoists his glass of donkey shite and proposes, "To the memory of Wichitar."
"Aw, thanks, mate. Cheers," Dom says, clinking their glasses and draining his pint.
Elijah considers proposing toasts to more dead things, like the fun parts of Alias, and Macaulay Culkin's career. But extensive experimentation has proven in the past that it's just not physically possible for him to get that drunk.
*
Part Four.