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[alonwimonster]

Parents changed their minds and don't want the milk I've been pumping for the twins. Oddly, I'm really sad. With pumping I felt like I was at least contributing to helping them be healthier. I felt like I was making a difference. Now I've got 60+ ounces in the fridge that I was so effing proud of accumulating. And it's unwanted. Full of antibodies

Comments

[lbswmom]

Okay-- this comment will probably just make you cry harder, but I meant to mention in my previous comments that I think is incredibly selfless (above and beyond) for you to offer to provide breastmilk for the babies. In addition to carrying them around in your body, giving them life and giving the gift of a family to a couple, you were also willing to continue to provide them with support and nutrition. I am in awe of you and the parents of the children should recognize what an amazing gift you were trying to give. I am truly sorry for the loss you are experiencing by having this gift refused and I hope my comments here haven't made you feel worse.

[alonwimonster]

This comment actually made me feel better. I'm trying to look past the fact they they didn't want the gift, and look to the fact that I can donate this milk to someone whose baby is in need. WE know that breast milk saves preemie babies' lives and it fabulous for their development. I just wish they knew, too. Supposedly the nurses in the NICU talked them out of taking the milk. I think those nurses should be reprimanded (and by reprimanded I maybe mean punched in the eye >.>) Instead though, I think donating it will be a good plan.

[lbswmom]

That is awful that the NICU nurses would misinform the parents... but it actually makes ME feel better that the parents refusal was coming from a place of "authority" (if that even makes sense). Anyway, fingers crossed that you are able to find a donor program for your milk.

[lbswmom]

In other words, I hope it will allow you to have hard feelings toward the "system" and not toward the parents.

[morphinae]

That's not crazy, at all. I'd be terribly upset too. It's an odd choice (or so I think from my outside box:) It's exactly like a gift you gave being refused, except even more sentimental and profound. I'm sorry.

[alonwimonster]

That's exactly how I felt. I was so proud and so excited about how much I'd been able to pump. I couldn't wait to give it to them and know that the babies were getting at least the antibodies and whatnot. So when they were like "yea whatever, nevermind" I pretty much sobbed.
But I figure, the twins are doing well, and there are babies out there who do not do so well. So I'm going to donate the milk, and keep right on pumping, and hopefully my milk will go to someone in need who will accept and even respect the gift. :)

[alonwimonster]

This is definitely the plan. I'm just hoping that the milk bank accepts it, since I was on motrin and percoset after the c-section, and their requirements say no consistent usage of medication. :( But the nurses told me that my milk was fine and the babies wouldn't get any of my meds through it. So here's hoping! Thank you for the offer though, and I'll keep it in mind. I would ask over at the breastfeeding community, but got epically flamed there for saying I wanted to pump to maintain my milk supply for my daughter while surrogating. I thought it was reasonable, they thought otherwise (some, the more vocal and angry ones it seemed) so I left to avoid the snark

[alonwimonster]

I definitely am sympathetic to the emotional difficulty mamas must have with it, ( I would always tell her how she had great eggs and therefore I could make her great babies, trying to actively show her that she was essential in all this) but in a way it's tiring to be viewed as the enemy while trying to help :( Gays only next time :)

The section is totally weird. I don't want to keep calling my midwife over every little thing, so I haven't, but these lumps are still really freaking me out. On the bright side though, my lochia has stopped (thanks to that whole vacuuming my uterus thing) and my abdominal wall is actually where it should be instead of separated (thanks to that whole sewing it back together thing). So far though, those perks do not outweigh the rest. VBAC for me. Gaaaaays and VBACS.

[lady_of_the_sea]

It's not lame, and it would make sense even if you weren't hormonal. That's weird, and rude, and I hope they acknowledged at least that it was a hurtful decision on their part.

I send you hugs.

Totally unrelated, but what are you doing today? Tomorrow?

What they said, via email

[alonwimonster]

After we talked I mentioned the milk idea to the nurses in the NICU.And they (and we) felt that the boys are doing very well on the formula and to change their diet now and then to change it back again later doesn’t make much sense.
So, thank you for the offer
Talk soon
Jay

Yea. ... Arg!
It IS rude isn't it! Seriously! *hugs*
I'm not doing anything today, short of errands and a small essay for my Roots of Civ class, and one for my Native American Studies class. All of which should be done by 3ish. What're yoooooou doing today? Whatever it is, I hope it involves snorgling me.

Re: What they said, via email

[lady_of_the_sea]

Ooh, I think by tomorrow I meant Saturday. Sorry! Mostly I'm doing chores and things today, but Thea and I are going to the PP mall (quick trip) tomorrow afternoon, and want to know if you can come with! Can Jules wrangle the pups for a couple hours, and are you up for it? We can take as many rests as you'd like, and elevators instead of stairs and things, of course.

On my part, I only need to make 1-2 stops, so it'll be an in-and-out jobby. Lush should definitely happen too. . . I think you need pampering :>

(And I'm always snorgling you. . .just maybe not physically XD)

Re: What they said, via email

[alonwimonster]

I'm in! We've got a clam boil around 4-5, but other than that it works for me! LUSH, Sephora, and Aveda all have my name on them, even if just for browsing/sniffing.

[faeriejewel]

*hug* I'm sorry.

[alonwimonster]

Meeee too. :(