Of tears and Unicorns

[alosadone]

This is the first time I'm posting a story, so if they're any errors say grammar wise or tech wise...I apologise. This fic was set as a challenge by jamoozalee. It had to have an unicorn, crying, and of course, boy-smut. This fic will eventually most likely be a R, cause it's my first time writng slash. COMMENTS ARE VERY WELCOME!! XD Yes, I FINALLY put up

Comments

Gr8 beginning!

[anonymous]

Hey Mrinali!!=D

Ur story's gr8!!!=D I luved da beginning n im sure it'll be a gr8 story as u get through it more..
Gud luck wif it! N yes, u made sum gramatical mistakes, which i won't mention now..=P

BUbbi!!!
Lotza s2 from NIshkulla

^^

[anonymous]

I see you've done a bit of editing, good job! It flows better now. You may want to explain where Aesir came from, he just suddenly seem to appear ya know? Little disconcerting that can be. ^^ Besides that, it's going fine!

Osiris-Lee

[risquer]

That was pretty good, but I found this particular bit a little jumpy, and thought it sort of destroyed the the fantasy feel to the fic... it was slightly too modern:
"“Vinno, you’re not umm, well…”
“Spit it out Ace.”
“You’re not in love with Cal are you?” he blurted.
Bravin looked at him, thunderstruck for a moment, before bursting out in laughter. Aesir gazed on, perplexed.
“I’m sorry Ace, just the fact that you think that I’m in love…with Cal…” he gasped.
“Well it, seemed like that was the case.” Aesir mumbled.
“Nah Ace. I could never look at Cal in that way.”"
~*~

Otherwise I really liked it, it was so, floaty, fantasy-ish, which is strange because normally I loathe fantasy.

What fandom was that, out of interest?

Hrmmm, I could go me some boy smut right now...Het smut is getting dull.

-Risq

[yaponoyozhik]

Hello alosadone,
i saw something like this at http://www.livejournal.com/users/yaponoyozhik/928523.html