It was a cold, but sunny day in the neighboring suburbs around Metro City. “I like it better when it rains.” Psycho Delic said to no one else other than himself
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That line was so amazing that I almost laughed out loud (and doing that I could have wake up my parents, oh my God XD)
Mmmh, I don't think it's that kind of love but it's something very close to it (I can say it because I'm a teacher, and I can see this in the school where I'm doing my practices).
And I agree with your cat and dog idea. Now I think of it... Bernard would be a cat, too. :3
Awwwwww!!! These new parts were so adorable!!!! I don't know what I liked more, if the ice-skating, of the photo-booth! Though the photo-booth idea is a very popular cliche on romantic fanfictions, here you used it in a very cute way. Great job :D
Overall it seemed like a good way of ending their mall adventure, though it might benefit from more elaboration, but you get the general idea. I also have plans for incorporating the photos into a later section of the chapter.
As LONG as this chapter is getting I will probably break this up into two parts and start writing the opening scene where I formally bring The Doom Syndicate into the picture. That is if my muse will cooperates.
Alright, I just read the introduction to Psycho! It was really perfect, you know how to create a dark atmosphere, and keep it elegant and scary at the time ^^ All I'd fix here is a typo. It's Psycho Delic, not Psychodelic. Two words, not only one :)
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So many fantastic Daddy/Daughter fluff! I absolutelly LOVED this chapter, it was absolutelly adorable in every way <3
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Mmmh, I don't think it's that kind of love but it's something very close to it (I can say it because I'm a teacher, and I can see this in the school where I'm doing my practices).
And I agree with your cat and dog idea. Now I think of it... Bernard would be a cat, too. :3
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Hmmm...I didn't know the photo booth thing was commonly used in romantic fanfic.
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And yeah. I've seen in in many fics from many different fandoms. It's something very popular.
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Overall it seemed like a good way of ending their mall adventure, though it might benefit from more elaboration, but you get the general idea. I also have plans for incorporating the photos into a later section of the chapter.
As LONG as this chapter is getting I will probably break this up into two parts and start writing the opening scene where I formally bring The Doom Syndicate into the picture. That is if my muse will cooperates.
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Right now I think I am at the half way point for having another update for your review.
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