ST crackfic--The Flying Graysons
I have a date in two hours, so am I deciding what clothes I should wear or doing my makeup? Oh, no. I'm writing Star Trek crossover crackfic.
I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT DC. WHY AM I DOING THIS? I BLAME LADY_SARAI.
Right, so here it is.
Fandom: Star Trek AOS/DC
Title: The Flying Graysons
Author: alphabet26
Pairings/Characters: Kirk, Spock
Rating: PG
Category: Gen
Word Count: 600ish
Spoilers: No spoilers
Notes/Warnings: THIS IS PURE, PURE CRACK. With a nod to "Galaxy Quest."
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Summary: Jim pointed at him. "You." He started pacing. "Why didn't you--no. How could you not tell me?"
Spock raised an eyebrow. "I am unable to respond to your inquiry, as I am unsure what you are referring to."
*****
Jim read it a few times to make sure he hadn't made a mistake and dropped the file in disgust. Seriously? Spock thought he could keep that from him? That it wasn't important? Vulcans. "Computer!" he shouted. "Locate Commander Spock!"
"Commander Spock is in his quarters," the computer answered.
"Perfect," Jim muttered, and headed over. When he reached the door, he began pounding. "Spock, open this door!"
The doors slid open and Jim stormed in.
"You appear to be in a state of agitation, Captain," Spock said.
Jim pointed at him. "You." He started pacing. "Why didn't you--no. How could you not tell me?"
Spock raised an eyebrow. "I am unable to respond to your inquiry, as I am unsure what you could be referring to."
"Your mother."
"Are you certain you wish to pursue this line of questioning?" Spock's voice was deceptively mild.
Jim waved his hands. "It's nothing like that, Spock. Her name. She was Amanda Grayson."
Spock blinked. "That is correct."
"Her father was Richard Grayson."
"Yes." Spock paused. "If you would explain what you are seeking to learn, I would be able to better respond to your inquiries."
Jim threw his hands in the air. "The Graysons. I looked it up. Yeah, I did. Your great-great-great-whatever grandfather was Dick Grayson!"
Spock didn't react at all. "Geneology has never been an interest of mine, so I would defer to your knowledge in this matter."
Jim stared at him. "Dick Grayson. Nightwing. Robin."
Spock didn't reply.
Jim rolled his eyes. "It's not like it's anything to be ashamed of! You're related to Batman. Why didn't you say anything?"
"Captain, I assure you I have no idea what you are speaking of."
Jim's jaw dropped. "What."
"Who is this Batman?"
Jim sputtered. "I--you--what? Batman! You know, Batman!"
"I assure you, I do not."
They looked at each other for a long moment.
Jim finally broke the silence. "Well, at least that explains why you never said anything." He picked up Spock's PADD and hit a few buttons. "There. I've downloaded all the historical documents for you to read over." He handed it back. "You read these," he said, pointing at Spock. "You just do it."
Spock touched the PADD. "These are illustrated?"
"What, Vulcans have something against pictures?"
"Not at all," Spock replied. "I quite look forward to learning more about my mother's ancestors."
Jim nodded. "Okay. Good. I'm going to leave you to it." He shook his head, muttering under his breath as he left. "Grayson...didn't know...Vulcans."
*****
"I fear you are laboring under a misapprehension, Captain," Spock said the next day.
"No, Grayson is a common name, but I doublechecked," Jim answered.
"I was referring to your assertion about being related to Batman. As a child, Dick Grayson was indeed cared for by Bruce Wayne, but there was no formal adoption, and even if there had been, they were still unrelated by blood."
"It's close enough."
"I am curious, though, about some discrepancies in the documents you provided to me," Spock said. "I would like to get some clarification."
"All right."
Spock nodded and held up the PADD. "There seems to be a great confusion as to why Dick took on the alter-ego of Nightwing. Initially, it was presented as Bruce Wayne removing him from the position of Robin to protect him; however, later recollections state that Dick had been neglecting his duties."
Jim shrugged. "Gotta account for bias, Spock. History's never completely objective."
"Noted. However, many of these documents seem to completely contradict each other in many regards."
"You'll have that. But now onto the important question."
"And what is that?"
"When will we get to see you in tights and a cape?"
*****
I DON'T EVEN KNOW. I...YEAH.
I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT DC. WHY AM I DOING THIS? I BLAME LADY_SARAI.
Right, so here it is.
Fandom: Star Trek AOS/DC
Title: The Flying Graysons
Author: alphabet26
Pairings/Characters: Kirk, Spock
Rating: PG
Category: Gen
Word Count: 600ish
Spoilers: No spoilers
Notes/Warnings: THIS IS PURE, PURE CRACK. With a nod to "Galaxy Quest."
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Summary: Jim pointed at him. "You." He started pacing. "Why didn't you--no. How could you not tell me?"
Spock raised an eyebrow. "I am unable to respond to your inquiry, as I am unsure what you are referring to."
*****
Jim read it a few times to make sure he hadn't made a mistake and dropped the file in disgust. Seriously? Spock thought he could keep that from him? That it wasn't important? Vulcans. "Computer!" he shouted. "Locate Commander Spock!"
"Commander Spock is in his quarters," the computer answered.
"Perfect," Jim muttered, and headed over. When he reached the door, he began pounding. "Spock, open this door!"
The doors slid open and Jim stormed in.
"You appear to be in a state of agitation, Captain," Spock said.
Jim pointed at him. "You." He started pacing. "Why didn't you--no. How could you not tell me?"
Spock raised an eyebrow. "I am unable to respond to your inquiry, as I am unsure what you could be referring to."
"Your mother."
"Are you certain you wish to pursue this line of questioning?" Spock's voice was deceptively mild.
Jim waved his hands. "It's nothing like that, Spock. Her name. She was Amanda Grayson."
Spock blinked. "That is correct."
"Her father was Richard Grayson."
"Yes." Spock paused. "If you would explain what you are seeking to learn, I would be able to better respond to your inquiries."
Jim threw his hands in the air. "The Graysons. I looked it up. Yeah, I did. Your great-great-great-whatever grandfather was Dick Grayson!"
Spock didn't react at all. "Geneology has never been an interest of mine, so I would defer to your knowledge in this matter."
Jim stared at him. "Dick Grayson. Nightwing. Robin."
Spock didn't reply.
Jim rolled his eyes. "It's not like it's anything to be ashamed of! You're related to Batman. Why didn't you say anything?"
"Captain, I assure you I have no idea what you are speaking of."
Jim's jaw dropped. "What."
"Who is this Batman?"
Jim sputtered. "I--you--what? Batman! You know, Batman!"
"I assure you, I do not."
They looked at each other for a long moment.
Jim finally broke the silence. "Well, at least that explains why you never said anything." He picked up Spock's PADD and hit a few buttons. "There. I've downloaded all the historical documents for you to read over." He handed it back. "You read these," he said, pointing at Spock. "You just do it."
Spock touched the PADD. "These are illustrated?"
"What, Vulcans have something against pictures?"
"Not at all," Spock replied. "I quite look forward to learning more about my mother's ancestors."
Jim nodded. "Okay. Good. I'm going to leave you to it." He shook his head, muttering under his breath as he left. "Grayson...didn't know...Vulcans."
*****
"I fear you are laboring under a misapprehension, Captain," Spock said the next day.
"No, Grayson is a common name, but I doublechecked," Jim answered.
"I was referring to your assertion about being related to Batman. As a child, Dick Grayson was indeed cared for by Bruce Wayne, but there was no formal adoption, and even if there had been, they were still unrelated by blood."
"It's close enough."
"I am curious, though, about some discrepancies in the documents you provided to me," Spock said. "I would like to get some clarification."
"All right."
Spock nodded and held up the PADD. "There seems to be a great confusion as to why Dick took on the alter-ego of Nightwing. Initially, it was presented as Bruce Wayne removing him from the position of Robin to protect him; however, later recollections state that Dick had been neglecting his duties."
Jim shrugged. "Gotta account for bias, Spock. History's never completely objective."
"Noted. However, many of these documents seem to completely contradict each other in many regards."
"You'll have that. But now onto the important question."
"And what is that?"
"When will we get to see you in tights and a cape?"
*****
I DON'T EVEN KNOW. I...YEAH.