Star Trek kink meme fill
Written for this prompt at the kink meme.
It begins as Spock/Uhura and there is a quite a lot of detail about their relationship. There is mentions of Kirk/Scotty and Sulu/Chekov but nothing explicit. Plus Jim flirts with everyone which is good because that's what kept this fic going to the end.
Any one who spent any amount of time with James Kirk would soon realise that the man was a complete and utter flirt. If Spock didn't know how impossible the idea was, he would say flirting was a reflex action for Kirk. But he did know better, and so he finally decided it served as a sufficient description of Kirk's flirting and left it at that.
In the beginning, it irritated him. It wasn't the way Jim could turn even the most innocent statements into blatant innuendo. It wasn't even the way the flirting obviously infuriated Nyota. It was the touching that got to him.
With his own people - with a race of touch-telepaths - touching was intimate. Even touch among family members was rather taboo and best left for certain occasions. From his mother Spock had learned that humans didn't place a similar value on the act of touching one another. When he had decided to go to Earth, to live amongst humans, he had resigned himself to being touched more often. And so he had learned to suppress his gut reactions to each innocent touch, until one would merely produce a brief flicker of annoyance.
But as a flirt, Jim took touching to a whole new level. Innuendo was easy to ignore but only when it wasn't accompanied by the slow slide of a finger over the jut of a clavicle, the languid curl of a hand around the curve of a shoulder. The touch would leave Spock uncomfortable and prone to fidgeting.
So when Nyota asked Jim to cease flirting with both herself and Spock, and Jim glanced at him for confirmation that he shared the desire, Spock nodded firmly. Jim nodded back solemnly, apologised to them both for making them uncomfortable and that was the end of it.
Now, whenever Jim looked over their shoulder at their screens, he did so without a hand on their shoulder. When Spock appeared at the Captain's quarters for a chess game, there was no hand at the small of his back ushering him in. Every order, every conversation was purely innocent.
Of course, it was only that way with Nyota and himself. No one else seemed to object to the flirting, because Jim still flirted outrageously with the rest of the bridge crew and Spock knew Jim was many things, but cruel was not one of them. If someone had asked him to stop - not just someone with great importance to himself, like Spock or Nyota, but also someone like the security officer Jim had a mutual dislike for - Jim would cease immediately.
For a time, Spock had believed that only he and Nyota had objected to the flirting because they were romantically involved. This hypothesis had flown out the window once it became known that the Enterprise's navigator and pilot were also romantically involved. Even after this knowledge was revealed, Jim had continued to make innuendo-laden jokes about fencing and speculate out loud about how one could keep warm in a Russian winter. To Spock's surprise, neither Mr Sulu nor Mr Chekov had reacted negatively to such statements. To his further surprise, Mr Sulu had offered to show Jim his sword and Mr Chekov had volunteered to show him how he had kept warm. Spock was still learning to identify the nuances of human interaction, but he would have to be blind, deaf and dumb not to realise they were responding favourably; that they were flirting back.
However, Jim had simply laughed, low and raspy and walked away. The incident didn't appear to hold any particular significance for any of the three parties involved and so it became evidence for another of Spock's hypotheses: that the flirting was purely platonic. This hypothesis lasted four months into their five-year mission, when the Enterprise was forced to navigate through an asteroid belt to escape attack. Mr Chekov and Mr Sulu did their best and Spock commended their efforts, but the ship still sustained damage, minimal as it was. Immediately after the attack, Jim had contacted Engineering for a report and the entire bridge had played witness to a highly flirtatious briefing between Jim and Mr Scott.
Spock hadn't thought much of the exchange until he saw Mr Scott stumble out of the Captain's quarters the following morning. Even with his diminished sense of smell, due to his Vulcan heritage, Spock had been able to identify the scent of sex. This discovery had left him unsettled for the entire day during which he laboured to create a new hypothesis, while maintaining his usual work ethic.
In the end Spock decided that Jim was merely sexually promiscuous and his flirting was purely platonic and the two ideas were mutually exclusive. When no evidence appeared to contest his belief and his scientifically-inclined mind was satisfied, he was able to believe the matter was settled.
Of course, things were never that simple. Especially when James T. Kirk was involved. Spock found himself longing for a touch from the man - innocent or otherwise - just for a brush of that beautifully complex mind. Every time he witnessed others being the focus of Jim's attentions, he would received a sudden, shocking burst of jealousy that left him stunned. And troubled.
After all, he was intimately involved with Nyota, an intelligent and beautiful woman who recognised and understood the importance of his heritage in his life. So whenever the jealousy would flare, Spock would force himself to remember that once his shift was over, he had Nyota. He would be able to discuss his work with her, and her work with him. They could eat together and share past experiences and when it was time for sleep, they could lie down together in the darkness and she would talk to him in flawless Vulcan until tiredness got the better of them
And if he occasionally masturbated to the thought of having Jim's incredible mind and energy purely focused on him...Well, that was just down to complicated nature of sexuality and nothing to be concerned about.
xxxXxxx
It didn't last.
While living among humans, Spock had observed their cynical fondness for the adage 'all good things must come to an end' and had thought it was a fitting description for the nature of life. His relationship with Nyota was just another good thing that had to come to an end.
When it had started, Spock had entertained the belief that their relationship would last. He certainly loved Nyota and she him; she had many of the values he appreciated in humans and Vulcans alike. They had understood each other as much as their study of each other's race had allowed them.
Six months into the mission, though, it began to fall apart. Spock still believed she was beautiful, but he was unable to feel the same depth of desire he had felt for her at the start of their relationship. As for Nyota, Spock suspected she had underestimated the strength of his devotion to his job. He did not see this as cause to resent her, though - he had done the same. Before the entire affair with the Romulans, Spock had been content with teaching and had held no particular desire or lack of desire to serve on a ship. Then he had helped to save Earth with Jim and his entire world-view had changed.
Now he shared his captain's fondness for his ship and desired to remain serving on the Enterprise. Now he had an appreciation for values not typically present in Vulcans - values that were more typical of the human race and one human in particular.
That discovery, coupled with the effectiveness of his fantasies about Jim and the fact that the man was now showing up in his sexually explicit dreams and his lessened desire for Nyota convinced made him realise that it was time to end their relationship. When he presented the proposition to Nyota, she smiled somewhat sadly and agreed. There was no blame, no shouting or fighting and they walked away from the affair as strong friends. She made it clear he could come to her should he need someone to talk to and he ensured she was aware that he was available to listen should she need to talk out her problems. As friends they still ate dinner together occasionally, and held discussions on a range of topics.
Spock never brought up his attraction for their captain, though. Although he knew anything he told Nyota would be in the strictest confidence, he still held the irrational fear that if someone knew, others would find out. And then his captain would know.
Even when made aware of the end of Nyota and Spock's relationship, Jim had failed to resume flirting with either of them. In reflection, Spock felt that it was for the best - many of his fantasies started with the memory of those teasing fingers. Who knew what he would do in response to them now that Spock had a desire for sexual relations with the man. But a small part of him - the part of him that his mother had given him, the illogical, all-too-human part of him - longed for those touches just for the sign it would give him.
In his interactions with humans, Spock had learned that the flirting Jim undertook was often an indicator of attraction. If Jim flirted with him, then Spock would know that there was a chance the attraction was mutual and they could possibly attempt a sexual relationship. But Jim didn't and so Spock decided it was for the best and resolved to never reveal his desires. He knew that sexual attraction faded with time so Spock decided to simply wait out the storm. It would have been easy, if not for the fact that it was James T. Kirk he was attracted to.
xxxXxxx
Eight months into their mission and Spock's desire for Jim was as strong as ever. Although frustrated by the lack of change, Spock was prepared to continue to act unaffected by the man, even if he had created a new fantasy just the night previously - one that involved himself on his back with one leg over Jim's shoulders and the other hooked behind Jim's knees while the man eased into Spock carefully. It had made him ejaculate faster than ever before and left him feeling particularly troubled, even more so when he realised it wasn't the sexual aspect of the fantasy that had left him unsettled.
It was the look on Jim's face that had done it. In Spock's imagination he was looking down at Spock like he was the most important thing in Jim's world. When Spock had come back to himself and remembered everything had been a creation of his imagination - a mash up of a memory of encountering Jim having sex with an Ensign Spock didn't know and the time he had glanced over his shoulder while duty and seen Jim spreading his hand over the arm of the captain's chair and staring down at it like the ship was the best thing that had ever happened to him.
The fantasy was a clue that Spock had been determined to ignore up until then: his attraction to Jim was not completely physical and would take a greater amount of time to rid himself of it. But Spock was a stubborn man and he was determined to wait it out. He turned up for his shift that day hoping that the work would take his mind off the issue.
Like always, Jim complicated matters.
He showed up wearing gloves.
The gloves were an optional part of the Starfleet and Spock had noticed a small number of the crew choosing to wear them. Most of this number had been from Engineering, though, and they had chosen gloves that cut off before the proximal interphalangeal joints. Jim had chosen gloves without cut off fingers. When someone thought to inquire as to why Jim had chosen to wear gloves, he grinned and said he thought they were sexy. Spock later learned that it was due to an order from the ship's CMO - he was concerned about the strength of Jim's wrists, and believed the extra thickness at the wrists would help.
The first time Jim had worn them, Spock had found it difficult to concentrate on his duties. He kept wanted to look at Jim's hands and the tempting images the gloves created.
They were merely standard uniform gloves, but to Spock they had the same effect a miniskirt would have on a man who had an attraction to women in miniskirts. The gloves were black, a universally aesthetically-pleasing colour - and when Spock said that it was literal - and skin-tight. They were made of a material that was cousin to the material of the uniform shirts, so that the skin was able to breathe and not become sweaty. The reinforcement at the wrists was barely noticeable and any one who didn't know Jim and believed he was shallow could believe he had worn them because they were aesthetically pleasing. Spock certainly believed they were and that night he had a new fantasy.
That night, as he stroked himself, he imagined that his hand was Jim's glove-encased hand. Spock was familiar with how the gloves felt - at the start of his Starfleet career he had considered wearing them so that he didn't get flashes of his students' thoughts whenever their hands accidentally brushed. He had given up the idea just minutes after trying the gloves on - the sensation made him noticeably aroused and that wasn't appropriate for a teacher, Nyota notwithstanding.
He used every memory of how the gloves felt to get himself off. He knew they would be pleasant to rub against and he pictured himself arching his his hips to rub against the flat of Jim's palm. The thought made him release a generous amount of pre-ejaculate and before he could stop himself, he moaned into the darkness of his quarters. And then, before he could stop himself, he imagined Jim's glove-clad hands entwining with his own, Jim languidly sliding his thumb up the length of Spock's and he ejaculated instantly. It was a fastest he had ever done so and he lay back for a moment, boneless and stunned. Then he realised he had been thinking about that look on Jim's face - the one that made him think he was Jim's entire world and a cloud of depression settled over him. He cleaned up in the darkness, not willing to face the truth.
Tomorrow, he vowed as he was settling in. Tomorrow I will meditate on the matter. Meditation would help him; Spock was sure of it.
Feeling slightly better, Spock settled in for sleep.
The next morning he woke later than expected and so had no time to meditate before his shift. It was inconvenient but Spock would just have to wait until his shift finished - his discomfort ranked lower on his priorities than doing his duty. And so Spock resigned himself to hours of trying to avoid looking at Jim's hands and trying to ignore the images they provoked. He had enough practice doing as such and believed that today would just be more experience.
One day Spock would learn that Jim Kirk had a tendency of taking people's expectations and ripping them in half, before jumping up and down on them a few times.
Two hours into their shift and Spock became aware of a change in Jim's routine. When not hearing reports or co-ordinating routes with Mr Chekov or doing the hundreds of little side-jobs a captain did when the ship was merely in travel, Jim sat in his chair and supervised everyone. Normally he did so quietly, his eyes full of pride and his hand sprawled over the arms of his chair, an image that made Spock's cheeks flush faintly green. Fortunately the quality of lighting on the bridge made this phenomenon difficult to observe and Spock was spared from embarrassment.
But Jim had changed his routine today.
Oh, he was still sprawled in his chair and occasionally flirting with the bridge crew, barring Nyota and Spock, but his hands weren't stretched over the arms of the chair. Spock would be thankful for that, if not for what Jim was currently doing.
He was taking off his gloves.
As Spock watched, he started with the left hand. Under Spock's disbelieving gaze he slowly peeled the fabric up and away from the skin. He took his time with it, tortuously revealing centimetres of tanned skin. And once the hand was bared and the glove dropped carelessly into his lap - dangerously close to his groin, Spock couldn't help but observe - Jim slowly rotated his wrist. Spock heard a few soft clicks but it wasn't anything that made him concerned for his captain's health. Even if they were more ominous, Spock doubted he would be able to bring himself to coax Jim to the sickbay - his level of arousal was growing as each minute went by and it was now becoming obvious even to people not familiar with how arousal presented itself in Vulcans.
He had to bite back a moan when Jim flexed his fingers before starting on his right glove. As soon as his fingers had slid under the edge of the glove, Spock forced himself to look away. He stared unseeingly at the monitor before him.
When he had been teaching at the Academy, Spock had overheard a student mention something called a 'striptease'. Unfamiliar with the term - his mother had never mentioned anything like it - Spock had decided to research it. He had a fair idea of what it might be, based on the two words and so kept this research to himself. Once he had found out what it was - and why his mother had never said anything like it - Spock had been baffled. He could not understand how such a concept could be arousing, a bafflement that had lasted even when he and Nyota engaged in coitus.
Now Spock felt he could fully understand the concept and its uses. He spent the rest of his shift with his mind split between his job and his arousal. Once his shift had finished, Spock had realised mediation was not going to rid himself of this desire - he would need a concrete conclusion. Not without trepidation, Spock altered his course so that he would be taken to Jim's quarters.
His quiet knock was answered immediately with a carefree, "come in, it's open." Mentally making a note to tell Jim not to just invite anyone in without prior knowledge of who they were, Spock obliged.
Jim looked somewhat surprised to see him but he adjusted quickly. He waved Spock into a chair at the table where they had their chess matches and slumped into his own chair. He laid his hand carelessly on the table top and Spock swallowed when he realised Jim was still wearing the gloves.
"What can I do for you, Spock?" Jim asked and immediately Spock's traitorous mind conjured a great number of images, all of them sexually explicit. Determinedly he pushed them away and looked his friend straight in the eyes.
"Jim, I wish to know the extent of your knowledge of Vulcan sexuality," Spock began. As soon as the words left his mouth, he began to wish he had not been so forward. He didn't want to make the situation awkwarder than it already was.
To his credit, Jim only blinked a few times before replying. "Next to none," he replied honestly.
Spock considered it for a moment. It was reassuring to know that Jim hadn't made him uncomfortable intentionally with his...striptease on the bridge. Now Spock felt somewhat ashamed - he never should have thought so lowly of his friend. From his observations he had come to realise that Jim didn't place the same importance on sex that many others did. To Jim sex was another natural process to partake in and he saw no shame in engaging in it with friends, providing they consented. But Spock also knew Jim was aware of the value the majority of people placed on sex and was always considerate.
On the other hand, it meant Jim had not resumed flirting with Spock as he had begun to hope he would. This was a blow to the small hope Spock held - the hope Jim felt the same about him.
"To Vulcans the hands are viewed in a more sexual manner than to humans, barring a small number." Spock's research on stripteases had also uncovered a number of people who seemed to find hands attractive in their own right, not just for what they contributed to sex.
Jim blinked again before looking down at his hands. Despite himself, Spock looked too and swallowed.
"So to Vulcans," Jim began while the two of them were still staring at his hands, "hands are viewed in the same way I used to look at Uhura's legs?"
Spock remembered the way Jim had done so, before she had asked him to stop, the slow drag of his eyes up the length of her calves and thighs and the sheer appreciation on his face.
"That is an adequate simile," Spock said. It wasn't precisely the same but it seemed to help Jim understand. Spock looked at him to see how he was reacting and started. Jim was watching him, had been doing so while Spock had been looking at his hands. The gaze was intent and made Spock feel like Jim was looking into his very mind and everything that passed through it. Worry coiled low in his stomach; had Jim noticed the flicker of arousal Spock experienced whenever he looked at the man's hands? He wanted to study Jim's face for an answer but was unable to face that gaze and what it might mean. Instead, he looked down at his own hands folded placidly in his lap.
"Hey, Spock," Jim said after a long, awkward moment. The tone was cheerful and conversational and Spock managed to find the courage to look his friend in the eyes again.
"Yes, Jim?" he inquired when Jim failed to continue what he had started. Jim smiled and said without a hint of mockery, "have you ever considered having sex with me?"
The answer came out before Spock could stop it.
"Yes."
Jim nodded slowly. His face was thoughtful and he looked down at his hands. He didn't display any signs of being offended or that he had been joking after all, but Spock still couldn't relax.
"Do you want to?"
Spock blinked, slightly stunned. But his mind was always active and it was quickly analysing the question, trying to decide which of the two options Jim was referring to. Was it a proposition, Jim asking if he wanted to commence the act now? Or was it simply asking if Spock had any desire to do so, whether it be in the past or present?
Both were true and so he answered accordingly and waited to see which option Jim had decided his answer indicated.
"Yes," he replied, more reluctantly than before.
He had been expecting many reactions, pleasant and unpleasant but the one he got had gone unconsidered. Jim smiled, broad and honest and entirely pleased and it made him look so beautiful, Spock couldn't breathe for a moment. He could only stare into those brilliant blue eyes.
And then Jim was moving. Spock knew his captain was quick on his feet. He had seen the man in a number of fights, a number so high he had ceased to keep a mental record. But Spock had never seen him move towards something he truly wanted and Jim's speed surprised him. One moment Spock was staring stupidly across the table at him; a heartbeat later and Jim was draped over his back with his chin hooked over Spock's shoulder. He pressed his cheek to Spock's, stubble rasping across the Vulcan's skin with a sensation that was not entirely unpleasant. The brief flash of Jim's mind - want, pure want - left him breathless.
For a moment they were frozen like that while Jim gave Spock time to catch his breath. Then he curled his hand around Spock's shoulder like he used to, then slowly slid his grip down to Spock's wrist. It could have been an innocent gesture but it wasn't; not like this.
Jim's hand lingered, his fingers playing over the delicate, pale skin of his wrist. It felt just like when Spock would tease himself and let his fingers toy over the skin centimetres from his penis. It produced the same anticipation and need.
"So, if hands are so important to Vulcans..." Jim mused. He considerately lowered his voice so that it didn't boom in Spock's ear, close to his mouth as it was. Just as Spock managed to regain the ability to think of and voice a reply, Jim slid his palm firmly over Spock's and licked the tip of Spock's ear simultaneously and Spock forgot -
everything
He whimpered out loud, something he had never done before, not even when viciously curious aliens had grasped the delicate point of his ear and twisted. Almost as though he was remembering the same incident - and Spock would later consider that he had; that their close proximity had made Jim think of the incident when Spock did - Jim carefully closed his mouth over the point and sucked. At the same moment his fingers twitched against Spock's palm and Spock shuddered, lost in the sensation.
He barely noticed when Jim coaxed him up and across the room to the bed; he came back to himself when Jim curled his gloved fingers around the hem of Spock's shirt. There he paused and looked Spock in the eye. They stood so close Spock could see his reflection.
"Is this what you want?" Jim asked softly and Spock had to pause and think about it. Not because there was a chance he didn't want to engage in coitus with Jim; he had spent eight months wanting the man. But the question of want had brought every fantasy he'd had about the two of them to mind. Jim in him, him in Jim, Jim's mouth swallowing him down - fingers or penis, it didn't matter. Eventually he managed to nod and Jim smiled that brilliant smile again that made Spock's breath hitch in his throat. Then Jim swept Spock's shirt over his head before doing the same to the white undershirt.
Standing shirtless in front of Jim made him want to hide himself. He hunched his shoulders, painfully aware that the muscle he had was not strongly developed, and his chest was pale. But then Jim divested himself of his own shirts and stepped right up into Spock's space, plastering the two of them so close, there was no room for air between them. And then he pressed his forehead to Spock's and waited.
Spock gasped; he had not expected such an intimate action. But then Jim's mind drew him in and he was lost. The desire he had felt from Jim earlier seemed insignificant to what he felt in Jim's mind and all of it was focused on him. And then, beneath the desire he found affection for himself and the sweetness of it all made him feel like he had been careless and had received an electric shock. He was so stunned, he could not help Jim divest the two of them of their pants - he felt weak with all the emotions passing between them.
Jim left the gloves on as he coaxed Spock onto the bed. They remained on as he urged Spock to lean back against him, touch gentle as they slid across his chest. In fact, Jim left the gloves on for the entirety of the encounter. The touch of the gloves was even better than Spock had imagined when Jim intertwined his fingers with Spock's and squeezed gently. Before long Jim had Spock gasping out every fantasy he'd had about Jim while Jim moaned helplessly in Spock's ear at the thought of every one of them.
Jim did his best to carry out a great number of them that night. He lavished touch on Spock's hands, stroking each finger individually before sucking them into his mouth. His tongue was quick and clever, darting over the joints before laving at the webs between each finger. And just when Spock was nearing his release, Jim stroked his thumb across the skin of Spock's palm. To any one else it would be an innocent gesture, but it made Spock come without being touched. He shuddered his release to the sound of Jim laughing softly in his ear and the sensation of Jim's bare fingers wrapped around his own.
Jim achieved orgasm that night with the touch of his own hand under Spock's heavy gaze. Spock would have liked to help, to touch and explore but his orgasm had sapped his body of strength. He apologised once Jim had wiped his own stomach and hand clean and was curling around Spock and Jim smiled and nuzzled at his cheek.
"There'll be other nights," he promised with a sleep-thickened voice.
Spock was amenable to that proposal.
It begins as Spock/Uhura and there is a quite a lot of detail about their relationship. There is mentions of Kirk/Scotty and Sulu/Chekov but nothing explicit. Plus Jim flirts with everyone which is good because that's what kept this fic going to the end.
Any one who spent any amount of time with James Kirk would soon realise that the man was a complete and utter flirt. If Spock didn't know how impossible the idea was, he would say flirting was a reflex action for Kirk. But he did know better, and so he finally decided it served as a sufficient description of Kirk's flirting and left it at that.
In the beginning, it irritated him. It wasn't the way Jim could turn even the most innocent statements into blatant innuendo. It wasn't even the way the flirting obviously infuriated Nyota. It was the touching that got to him.
With his own people - with a race of touch-telepaths - touching was intimate. Even touch among family members was rather taboo and best left for certain occasions. From his mother Spock had learned that humans didn't place a similar value on the act of touching one another. When he had decided to go to Earth, to live amongst humans, he had resigned himself to being touched more often. And so he had learned to suppress his gut reactions to each innocent touch, until one would merely produce a brief flicker of annoyance.
But as a flirt, Jim took touching to a whole new level. Innuendo was easy to ignore but only when it wasn't accompanied by the slow slide of a finger over the jut of a clavicle, the languid curl of a hand around the curve of a shoulder. The touch would leave Spock uncomfortable and prone to fidgeting.
So when Nyota asked Jim to cease flirting with both herself and Spock, and Jim glanced at him for confirmation that he shared the desire, Spock nodded firmly. Jim nodded back solemnly, apologised to them both for making them uncomfortable and that was the end of it.
Now, whenever Jim looked over their shoulder at their screens, he did so without a hand on their shoulder. When Spock appeared at the Captain's quarters for a chess game, there was no hand at the small of his back ushering him in. Every order, every conversation was purely innocent.
Of course, it was only that way with Nyota and himself. No one else seemed to object to the flirting, because Jim still flirted outrageously with the rest of the bridge crew and Spock knew Jim was many things, but cruel was not one of them. If someone had asked him to stop - not just someone with great importance to himself, like Spock or Nyota, but also someone like the security officer Jim had a mutual dislike for - Jim would cease immediately.
For a time, Spock had believed that only he and Nyota had objected to the flirting because they were romantically involved. This hypothesis had flown out the window once it became known that the Enterprise's navigator and pilot were also romantically involved. Even after this knowledge was revealed, Jim had continued to make innuendo-laden jokes about fencing and speculate out loud about how one could keep warm in a Russian winter. To Spock's surprise, neither Mr Sulu nor Mr Chekov had reacted negatively to such statements. To his further surprise, Mr Sulu had offered to show Jim his sword and Mr Chekov had volunteered to show him how he had kept warm. Spock was still learning to identify the nuances of human interaction, but he would have to be blind, deaf and dumb not to realise they were responding favourably; that they were flirting back.
However, Jim had simply laughed, low and raspy and walked away. The incident didn't appear to hold any particular significance for any of the three parties involved and so it became evidence for another of Spock's hypotheses: that the flirting was purely platonic. This hypothesis lasted four months into their five-year mission, when the Enterprise was forced to navigate through an asteroid belt to escape attack. Mr Chekov and Mr Sulu did their best and Spock commended their efforts, but the ship still sustained damage, minimal as it was. Immediately after the attack, Jim had contacted Engineering for a report and the entire bridge had played witness to a highly flirtatious briefing between Jim and Mr Scott.
Spock hadn't thought much of the exchange until he saw Mr Scott stumble out of the Captain's quarters the following morning. Even with his diminished sense of smell, due to his Vulcan heritage, Spock had been able to identify the scent of sex. This discovery had left him unsettled for the entire day during which he laboured to create a new hypothesis, while maintaining his usual work ethic.
In the end Spock decided that Jim was merely sexually promiscuous and his flirting was purely platonic and the two ideas were mutually exclusive. When no evidence appeared to contest his belief and his scientifically-inclined mind was satisfied, he was able to believe the matter was settled.
Of course, things were never that simple. Especially when James T. Kirk was involved. Spock found himself longing for a touch from the man - innocent or otherwise - just for a brush of that beautifully complex mind. Every time he witnessed others being the focus of Jim's attentions, he would received a sudden, shocking burst of jealousy that left him stunned. And troubled.
After all, he was intimately involved with Nyota, an intelligent and beautiful woman who recognised and understood the importance of his heritage in his life. So whenever the jealousy would flare, Spock would force himself to remember that once his shift was over, he had Nyota. He would be able to discuss his work with her, and her work with him. They could eat together and share past experiences and when it was time for sleep, they could lie down together in the darkness and she would talk to him in flawless Vulcan until tiredness got the better of them
And if he occasionally masturbated to the thought of having Jim's incredible mind and energy purely focused on him...Well, that was just down to complicated nature of sexuality and nothing to be concerned about.
xxxXxxx
It didn't last.
While living among humans, Spock had observed their cynical fondness for the adage 'all good things must come to an end' and had thought it was a fitting description for the nature of life. His relationship with Nyota was just another good thing that had to come to an end.
When it had started, Spock had entertained the belief that their relationship would last. He certainly loved Nyota and she him; she had many of the values he appreciated in humans and Vulcans alike. They had understood each other as much as their study of each other's race had allowed them.
Six months into the mission, though, it began to fall apart. Spock still believed she was beautiful, but he was unable to feel the same depth of desire he had felt for her at the start of their relationship. As for Nyota, Spock suspected she had underestimated the strength of his devotion to his job. He did not see this as cause to resent her, though - he had done the same. Before the entire affair with the Romulans, Spock had been content with teaching and had held no particular desire or lack of desire to serve on a ship. Then he had helped to save Earth with Jim and his entire world-view had changed.
Now he shared his captain's fondness for his ship and desired to remain serving on the Enterprise. Now he had an appreciation for values not typically present in Vulcans - values that were more typical of the human race and one human in particular.
That discovery, coupled with the effectiveness of his fantasies about Jim and the fact that the man was now showing up in his sexually explicit dreams and his lessened desire for Nyota convinced made him realise that it was time to end their relationship. When he presented the proposition to Nyota, she smiled somewhat sadly and agreed. There was no blame, no shouting or fighting and they walked away from the affair as strong friends. She made it clear he could come to her should he need someone to talk to and he ensured she was aware that he was available to listen should she need to talk out her problems. As friends they still ate dinner together occasionally, and held discussions on a range of topics.
Spock never brought up his attraction for their captain, though. Although he knew anything he told Nyota would be in the strictest confidence, he still held the irrational fear that if someone knew, others would find out. And then his captain would know.
Even when made aware of the end of Nyota and Spock's relationship, Jim had failed to resume flirting with either of them. In reflection, Spock felt that it was for the best - many of his fantasies started with the memory of those teasing fingers. Who knew what he would do in response to them now that Spock had a desire for sexual relations with the man. But a small part of him - the part of him that his mother had given him, the illogical, all-too-human part of him - longed for those touches just for the sign it would give him.
In his interactions with humans, Spock had learned that the flirting Jim undertook was often an indicator of attraction. If Jim flirted with him, then Spock would know that there was a chance the attraction was mutual and they could possibly attempt a sexual relationship. But Jim didn't and so Spock decided it was for the best and resolved to never reveal his desires. He knew that sexual attraction faded with time so Spock decided to simply wait out the storm. It would have been easy, if not for the fact that it was James T. Kirk he was attracted to.
xxxXxxx
Eight months into their mission and Spock's desire for Jim was as strong as ever. Although frustrated by the lack of change, Spock was prepared to continue to act unaffected by the man, even if he had created a new fantasy just the night previously - one that involved himself on his back with one leg over Jim's shoulders and the other hooked behind Jim's knees while the man eased into Spock carefully. It had made him ejaculate faster than ever before and left him feeling particularly troubled, even more so when he realised it wasn't the sexual aspect of the fantasy that had left him unsettled.
It was the look on Jim's face that had done it. In Spock's imagination he was looking down at Spock like he was the most important thing in Jim's world. When Spock had come back to himself and remembered everything had been a creation of his imagination - a mash up of a memory of encountering Jim having sex with an Ensign Spock didn't know and the time he had glanced over his shoulder while duty and seen Jim spreading his hand over the arm of the captain's chair and staring down at it like the ship was the best thing that had ever happened to him.
The fantasy was a clue that Spock had been determined to ignore up until then: his attraction to Jim was not completely physical and would take a greater amount of time to rid himself of it. But Spock was a stubborn man and he was determined to wait it out. He turned up for his shift that day hoping that the work would take his mind off the issue.
Like always, Jim complicated matters.
He showed up wearing gloves.
The gloves were an optional part of the Starfleet and Spock had noticed a small number of the crew choosing to wear them. Most of this number had been from Engineering, though, and they had chosen gloves that cut off before the proximal interphalangeal joints. Jim had chosen gloves without cut off fingers. When someone thought to inquire as to why Jim had chosen to wear gloves, he grinned and said he thought they were sexy. Spock later learned that it was due to an order from the ship's CMO - he was concerned about the strength of Jim's wrists, and believed the extra thickness at the wrists would help.
The first time Jim had worn them, Spock had found it difficult to concentrate on his duties. He kept wanted to look at Jim's hands and the tempting images the gloves created.
They were merely standard uniform gloves, but to Spock they had the same effect a miniskirt would have on a man who had an attraction to women in miniskirts. The gloves were black, a universally aesthetically-pleasing colour - and when Spock said that it was literal - and skin-tight. They were made of a material that was cousin to the material of the uniform shirts, so that the skin was able to breathe and not become sweaty. The reinforcement at the wrists was barely noticeable and any one who didn't know Jim and believed he was shallow could believe he had worn them because they were aesthetically pleasing. Spock certainly believed they were and that night he had a new fantasy.
That night, as he stroked himself, he imagined that his hand was Jim's glove-encased hand. Spock was familiar with how the gloves felt - at the start of his Starfleet career he had considered wearing them so that he didn't get flashes of his students' thoughts whenever their hands accidentally brushed. He had given up the idea just minutes after trying the gloves on - the sensation made him noticeably aroused and that wasn't appropriate for a teacher, Nyota notwithstanding.
He used every memory of how the gloves felt to get himself off. He knew they would be pleasant to rub against and he pictured himself arching his his hips to rub against the flat of Jim's palm. The thought made him release a generous amount of pre-ejaculate and before he could stop himself, he moaned into the darkness of his quarters. And then, before he could stop himself, he imagined Jim's glove-clad hands entwining with his own, Jim languidly sliding his thumb up the length of Spock's and he ejaculated instantly. It was a fastest he had ever done so and he lay back for a moment, boneless and stunned. Then he realised he had been thinking about that look on Jim's face - the one that made him think he was Jim's entire world and a cloud of depression settled over him. He cleaned up in the darkness, not willing to face the truth.
Tomorrow, he vowed as he was settling in. Tomorrow I will meditate on the matter. Meditation would help him; Spock was sure of it.
Feeling slightly better, Spock settled in for sleep.
The next morning he woke later than expected and so had no time to meditate before his shift. It was inconvenient but Spock would just have to wait until his shift finished - his discomfort ranked lower on his priorities than doing his duty. And so Spock resigned himself to hours of trying to avoid looking at Jim's hands and trying to ignore the images they provoked. He had enough practice doing as such and believed that today would just be more experience.
One day Spock would learn that Jim Kirk had a tendency of taking people's expectations and ripping them in half, before jumping up and down on them a few times.
Two hours into their shift and Spock became aware of a change in Jim's routine. When not hearing reports or co-ordinating routes with Mr Chekov or doing the hundreds of little side-jobs a captain did when the ship was merely in travel, Jim sat in his chair and supervised everyone. Normally he did so quietly, his eyes full of pride and his hand sprawled over the arms of his chair, an image that made Spock's cheeks flush faintly green. Fortunately the quality of lighting on the bridge made this phenomenon difficult to observe and Spock was spared from embarrassment.
But Jim had changed his routine today.
Oh, he was still sprawled in his chair and occasionally flirting with the bridge crew, barring Nyota and Spock, but his hands weren't stretched over the arms of the chair. Spock would be thankful for that, if not for what Jim was currently doing.
He was taking off his gloves.
As Spock watched, he started with the left hand. Under Spock's disbelieving gaze he slowly peeled the fabric up and away from the skin. He took his time with it, tortuously revealing centimetres of tanned skin. And once the hand was bared and the glove dropped carelessly into his lap - dangerously close to his groin, Spock couldn't help but observe - Jim slowly rotated his wrist. Spock heard a few soft clicks but it wasn't anything that made him concerned for his captain's health. Even if they were more ominous, Spock doubted he would be able to bring himself to coax Jim to the sickbay - his level of arousal was growing as each minute went by and it was now becoming obvious even to people not familiar with how arousal presented itself in Vulcans.
He had to bite back a moan when Jim flexed his fingers before starting on his right glove. As soon as his fingers had slid under the edge of the glove, Spock forced himself to look away. He stared unseeingly at the monitor before him.
When he had been teaching at the Academy, Spock had overheard a student mention something called a 'striptease'. Unfamiliar with the term - his mother had never mentioned anything like it - Spock had decided to research it. He had a fair idea of what it might be, based on the two words and so kept this research to himself. Once he had found out what it was - and why his mother had never said anything like it - Spock had been baffled. He could not understand how such a concept could be arousing, a bafflement that had lasted even when he and Nyota engaged in coitus.
Now Spock felt he could fully understand the concept and its uses. He spent the rest of his shift with his mind split between his job and his arousal. Once his shift had finished, Spock had realised mediation was not going to rid himself of this desire - he would need a concrete conclusion. Not without trepidation, Spock altered his course so that he would be taken to Jim's quarters.
His quiet knock was answered immediately with a carefree, "come in, it's open." Mentally making a note to tell Jim not to just invite anyone in without prior knowledge of who they were, Spock obliged.
Jim looked somewhat surprised to see him but he adjusted quickly. He waved Spock into a chair at the table where they had their chess matches and slumped into his own chair. He laid his hand carelessly on the table top and Spock swallowed when he realised Jim was still wearing the gloves.
"What can I do for you, Spock?" Jim asked and immediately Spock's traitorous mind conjured a great number of images, all of them sexually explicit. Determinedly he pushed them away and looked his friend straight in the eyes.
"Jim, I wish to know the extent of your knowledge of Vulcan sexuality," Spock began. As soon as the words left his mouth, he began to wish he had not been so forward. He didn't want to make the situation awkwarder than it already was.
To his credit, Jim only blinked a few times before replying. "Next to none," he replied honestly.
Spock considered it for a moment. It was reassuring to know that Jim hadn't made him uncomfortable intentionally with his...striptease on the bridge. Now Spock felt somewhat ashamed - he never should have thought so lowly of his friend. From his observations he had come to realise that Jim didn't place the same importance on sex that many others did. To Jim sex was another natural process to partake in and he saw no shame in engaging in it with friends, providing they consented. But Spock also knew Jim was aware of the value the majority of people placed on sex and was always considerate.
On the other hand, it meant Jim had not resumed flirting with Spock as he had begun to hope he would. This was a blow to the small hope Spock held - the hope Jim felt the same about him.
"To Vulcans the hands are viewed in a more sexual manner than to humans, barring a small number." Spock's research on stripteases had also uncovered a number of people who seemed to find hands attractive in their own right, not just for what they contributed to sex.
Jim blinked again before looking down at his hands. Despite himself, Spock looked too and swallowed.
"So to Vulcans," Jim began while the two of them were still staring at his hands, "hands are viewed in the same way I used to look at Uhura's legs?"
Spock remembered the way Jim had done so, before she had asked him to stop, the slow drag of his eyes up the length of her calves and thighs and the sheer appreciation on his face.
"That is an adequate simile," Spock said. It wasn't precisely the same but it seemed to help Jim understand. Spock looked at him to see how he was reacting and started. Jim was watching him, had been doing so while Spock had been looking at his hands. The gaze was intent and made Spock feel like Jim was looking into his very mind and everything that passed through it. Worry coiled low in his stomach; had Jim noticed the flicker of arousal Spock experienced whenever he looked at the man's hands? He wanted to study Jim's face for an answer but was unable to face that gaze and what it might mean. Instead, he looked down at his own hands folded placidly in his lap.
"Hey, Spock," Jim said after a long, awkward moment. The tone was cheerful and conversational and Spock managed to find the courage to look his friend in the eyes again.
"Yes, Jim?" he inquired when Jim failed to continue what he had started. Jim smiled and said without a hint of mockery, "have you ever considered having sex with me?"
The answer came out before Spock could stop it.
"Yes."
Jim nodded slowly. His face was thoughtful and he looked down at his hands. He didn't display any signs of being offended or that he had been joking after all, but Spock still couldn't relax.
"Do you want to?"
Spock blinked, slightly stunned. But his mind was always active and it was quickly analysing the question, trying to decide which of the two options Jim was referring to. Was it a proposition, Jim asking if he wanted to commence the act now? Or was it simply asking if Spock had any desire to do so, whether it be in the past or present?
Both were true and so he answered accordingly and waited to see which option Jim had decided his answer indicated.
"Yes," he replied, more reluctantly than before.
He had been expecting many reactions, pleasant and unpleasant but the one he got had gone unconsidered. Jim smiled, broad and honest and entirely pleased and it made him look so beautiful, Spock couldn't breathe for a moment. He could only stare into those brilliant blue eyes.
And then Jim was moving. Spock knew his captain was quick on his feet. He had seen the man in a number of fights, a number so high he had ceased to keep a mental record. But Spock had never seen him move towards something he truly wanted and Jim's speed surprised him. One moment Spock was staring stupidly across the table at him; a heartbeat later and Jim was draped over his back with his chin hooked over Spock's shoulder. He pressed his cheek to Spock's, stubble rasping across the Vulcan's skin with a sensation that was not entirely unpleasant. The brief flash of Jim's mind - want, pure want - left him breathless.
For a moment they were frozen like that while Jim gave Spock time to catch his breath. Then he curled his hand around Spock's shoulder like he used to, then slowly slid his grip down to Spock's wrist. It could have been an innocent gesture but it wasn't; not like this.
Jim's hand lingered, his fingers playing over the delicate, pale skin of his wrist. It felt just like when Spock would tease himself and let his fingers toy over the skin centimetres from his penis. It produced the same anticipation and need.
"So, if hands are so important to Vulcans..." Jim mused. He considerately lowered his voice so that it didn't boom in Spock's ear, close to his mouth as it was. Just as Spock managed to regain the ability to think of and voice a reply, Jim slid his palm firmly over Spock's and licked the tip of Spock's ear simultaneously and Spock forgot -
everything
He whimpered out loud, something he had never done before, not even when viciously curious aliens had grasped the delicate point of his ear and twisted. Almost as though he was remembering the same incident - and Spock would later consider that he had; that their close proximity had made Jim think of the incident when Spock did - Jim carefully closed his mouth over the point and sucked. At the same moment his fingers twitched against Spock's palm and Spock shuddered, lost in the sensation.
He barely noticed when Jim coaxed him up and across the room to the bed; he came back to himself when Jim curled his gloved fingers around the hem of Spock's shirt. There he paused and looked Spock in the eye. They stood so close Spock could see his reflection.
"Is this what you want?" Jim asked softly and Spock had to pause and think about it. Not because there was a chance he didn't want to engage in coitus with Jim; he had spent eight months wanting the man. But the question of want had brought every fantasy he'd had about the two of them to mind. Jim in him, him in Jim, Jim's mouth swallowing him down - fingers or penis, it didn't matter. Eventually he managed to nod and Jim smiled that brilliant smile again that made Spock's breath hitch in his throat. Then Jim swept Spock's shirt over his head before doing the same to the white undershirt.
Standing shirtless in front of Jim made him want to hide himself. He hunched his shoulders, painfully aware that the muscle he had was not strongly developed, and his chest was pale. But then Jim divested himself of his own shirts and stepped right up into Spock's space, plastering the two of them so close, there was no room for air between them. And then he pressed his forehead to Spock's and waited.
Spock gasped; he had not expected such an intimate action. But then Jim's mind drew him in and he was lost. The desire he had felt from Jim earlier seemed insignificant to what he felt in Jim's mind and all of it was focused on him. And then, beneath the desire he found affection for himself and the sweetness of it all made him feel like he had been careless and had received an electric shock. He was so stunned, he could not help Jim divest the two of them of their pants - he felt weak with all the emotions passing between them.
Jim left the gloves on as he coaxed Spock onto the bed. They remained on as he urged Spock to lean back against him, touch gentle as they slid across his chest. In fact, Jim left the gloves on for the entirety of the encounter. The touch of the gloves was even better than Spock had imagined when Jim intertwined his fingers with Spock's and squeezed gently. Before long Jim had Spock gasping out every fantasy he'd had about Jim while Jim moaned helplessly in Spock's ear at the thought of every one of them.
Jim did his best to carry out a great number of them that night. He lavished touch on Spock's hands, stroking each finger individually before sucking them into his mouth. His tongue was quick and clever, darting over the joints before laving at the webs between each finger. And just when Spock was nearing his release, Jim stroked his thumb across the skin of Spock's palm. To any one else it would be an innocent gesture, but it made Spock come without being touched. He shuddered his release to the sound of Jim laughing softly in his ear and the sensation of Jim's bare fingers wrapped around his own.
Jim achieved orgasm that night with the touch of his own hand under Spock's heavy gaze. Spock would have liked to help, to touch and explore but his orgasm had sapped his body of strength. He apologised once Jim had wiped his own stomach and hand clean and was curling around Spock and Jim smiled and nuzzled at his cheek.
"There'll be other nights," he promised with a sleep-thickened voice.
Spock was amenable to that proposal.